371. Quiet Storm Part I ~Role Reversal~

Josuke Higashikata finishes drinking some beer.

"You drink!?" asked Gabrielle.

"Yep," said Josuke.

"What the hell!?" asked Gabrielle, driving.

"Wanna sip?"

"Uh... I'm driving!?"

"Oh... right..."

"What the hell happened to you after the Jazz Fusion left you, anyway?"

"I got bitter I guess... No friends... No family... Nothing... They're doing their own things. We tried to get back together with each other a while ago a couple of times... Didn't work out.I ended up... having this empty feeling, y'know? A reminder that I'll always be alone...People always said that I wasn't fit in being the King of Aswangs. It just makes you feel all the more alone since you're the only one who thinks that."

"I kinda get it," said Gabrielle. "Back in the precinct, no one liked me or believed in me because I was this ditzy dumb daughter of the former President of Worlds."

"Well... I just wish that there's a world out there where... I came out on top..." said Josuke.

"Well... Men have no emotions. Maybe that's why you're-..."

Josuke squints his eyes. "Excuse me?"

"Nothing..."

"No... Keep talking!"

"I mean... You probably pushed them all away, y'know? Men do that and stuff..."

"What's your point here?"

"Just saying that guys are often cold and emotionless! No wonder women or anyone gets close to you!"

"What!? Oh, sure! And here you are with your emotional imbalance!"

"'Emotional imbalance!?' Excuse me!? I've had years practicing riding the dragon, Josuke! Look at you! At least you guys don't get groped in public!"

"What!? Jotaro!" he called upon Jotaro, who is inside.

"Huh?"

"Guys get groped, too, right!?"

"No," said Jotaro. "Because we're more prideful than women."

"WHAT!?" asked Shizuka, Irene, and Yurielle.

"Oh... dear God..." said Miguel. Miguel just stays quiet the whole time.

"We have pride!" yelled Shizuka. "That's actually a thing, Papa!"

"What's a thing is that women are loud, cry all the time, and are sad pieces of shit," said Jotaro.

"Hey!" yelled Irene. "You guys have no respect for us at all!"

"Yeah!?" asked Josuke. "Well, neither do you!"

"And that's why feminism exists!"

"Feminists are toxic," said Josuke.

"No self-control, much?" asked Gabrielle. "Jesus Christ... Do you want me to beat you!?"

"Look who's talking!? And yes we have self-control!" yelled Josuke.

"You confident powerful guys have self-control!? Rape exists, you know!?" asked Gabrielle.

"And women get raped because they're weak," said Jotaro. "Get over it."

"Hay Naku..." sighed Miguel.

Note: God is technically sexless. So is Goddess. They just have different pronouns. Like Gems! And yes, there are 'He-Gems' out there, too.

"Who's Billy Benson Batsy?" asked Yurielle.

"Guy I worked with... Canonized him as a saint!" smiled Miguel. He then whispers, "(I did it because his wife was a very mean person and stayed faithful because of that.)"

"So, you canonized him because you felt like it?"

"Yes," smiled Miguel.

*BEEP!!! BEEP!!!*

Miguel looks at his watch. "Welp... I gotta go somewhere. Be back in a few minutes!"

"You know..." said Yurielle. "Whenever you leave, bad things happen."

"Uh... Yeah!" he said, bluntly. "Because I've lived for thousands of years and I have responsibilities! Now... Buh bye!" Miguel teleports away.

"Ugh!" yelled Gabrielle.

The CoolDudeBus teleports into yet a new universe... but... something's off...

It's the exact same universe as Josuke's... only that... it's called 'Earth-Princess'.

"What the hell!?" asked Josuke. "Whoa..." Josuke sees the people there are just gender-bent versions of his neighbors. "Trippy!"

"This is strange," said Jotaro. "This place..." He turns to Shizuka. "Shizuka-chan?"

"What...?" asked Shizuka, holding her knees near her chest.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine..." she squints her eyes.

The CoolDudeBus stops near a house.

They see the Universe's capital, known as Burnham, Philippines, Earth-Princess, in a Multiversal Nation called Timawa.

"That's kinda awkward because our Kapitan Timawa is a psycho jingoist," said Gabrielle.

Meanwhile...

Miguel enters the Hyperbolic Time Room and sees Anne eating some chips while finishing the X-Men franchise.

"Well, that ended terribly," said Anne. "Hey, Miguel! Where's the soda?"

"We've spent three years here with me and you still don't know where the fridge is?"

"Yeah... I'm only half-succubus. That doesn't mean I know where everything is anatomically arranged."

"That makes no sense. I just think you're bad at finding things. Here." Miguel hands her a big Valentine's card.

"Oh..." Anne turns red, taking it. "But... It isn't Valentine's..."

"I track the Time Room's timeline. At this time, it's Valentine's."

"That was a lot of 'Ties...'" smiled Anne. "Weirdly enough, there weren't any knots to that naught nonsensical nonsense!"

"That was a lot of 'No's' for your personal 'Yesman.'"

"Enough yeses. You ain't Jesus... You're your own thing..."

The pair smile sweetly at each other.

"We're pretty fucking cringe, Anne," said Miguel.

"Oh, definitely..." smiled Anne. "Wanna do it?"

Miguel sighs. "Fine... But after, I'd be feeding my immortal pets."

"Your immortal what?"

A Liger suddenly roars at her as she shrieks.

"OH, GOD!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Also, a Wolf-Husky appears and growls at her.

Finally, a budgie flies down to his shoulder.

"WHERE DID THOSE COME FROM!?"

"You should really learn to get around this place..." sighed Miguel. "I turned each of these guys immortal. This Liger is Laura. I rescued her from an abusive circus. She lost her mother as a cub and I raised her. This Wolf-Husky is Wanda. I saved her when her pack did not accept her for being a half-breed. She was starving alone in the forest. I also raised her. This little one is Emerald. He's my budgie I raised since he was a child."

"Huh... You're an animal guy... Cool," smiled Anne.

Meanwhile...

"So... this is the place where the object possibly is?" asked Irene.

Josuke sighs. "This is my home."

The group stares at a version of the mansion Josuke used to live in.

Josuke rings the doorbell. "Hello? Anybody home!?"

*step step step...*

A beautiful blonde woman opens the door. She wears a blue blouse, a dark blue short skirt, white stockings, and a green backpack. She also has a bunny hat similar to Finn's.

Josuke turns red upon laying his eyes on her.

"Uh... Oh... This is weird," said this woman. "You must be Male Jozuka."

"'Jozuka?'" asked the others.

"Ahem! Josuke Higashikata. Nice to meet you," Josuke shakes her hand. 

"Fionna Mertens," smiled this woman. "Uh... welcome to Timawa!"

She gets a call from someone. "Hello? No, Mortina. Tell Rache that it's just one of the JoJoCorps searching for Goku's chopsticks."

"'One of!?'" asked the group.

"Yeah... There's more of you. In our world, the Quiet Storm wasn't disbanded. Jozuka, Cake, Spongegal, Patricia, Bubblegum, and Darna are still with me."

"Uh... we call ourselves the Jazz Fusion. And interesting..."

"You could come inside," smiled Fionna.

"Alright," said Josuke.

Everyone removes their shoes and wears slippers for the inside.

"Watch your step," said Fionna.

Everyone listens and watches for the step on the floor, except for Irene, who trips. 

"Oy vey," said Shizuka, as she helps her sister up. 

So does Jotaro.

"Arigatou..." said Irene, turning red.

"Come on..." said Fionna, as they are led to the living room...

Everyone...

...is playing...

...Ultimate Smash Sisters...

"Okay..." said Jotaro. "So... this is a world where I'm guessing that females are the dominant sex..."

They're all screaming and laughing.

Jotaro gets annoyed. "Yare yare daze..."

"Yep!" smiled Jozuka, as she shakes Gabrielle's hand. "I take it that you're the leader? Jozuka Higashikata! The Queen of the Aswangs!"

"Uh... Gabrielle JoJo! (GAH-BRI-YELL JOE-JOE!)" smiled Gabrielle.

"Oh! You're Gabriel's counterpart! (Gey-Bri-Yell)."

"Yeah! Does he also use Stone Free?"

"He uses Stone Free! Yeah!"

"You use Prince, right?"

"Oddly enough, yes!"

"Huh... I'm guessing Dad is-..."

"Your Mom? Yep. Ms. Reaper. AKA Michelle JoJo."

"Huh..."

"Wait... Mr... I mean... Ms. Reaper's alive in this dimension? And you're Queen!?" asked Josuke.

"Hey! Just because I'm a girl, it doesn't mean I'm sexist!" yelled Jozuka.

Josuke pauses. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You Maculinists just chill, okay? Give us a break, would ya!?"

"Actually," said Josuke. "We don't have a concept of Masculinist Movement on our universe... We have something called a 'Feminist Movement.'"

"Whoa..." said Jozuka. "What a mind fuck."

"Yep! So, tell me more about how I'm more successful in this universe..." said Josuke, walking away with Jozuka. "Geez! I feel like I'm about to cry..."

"Interesting!" smiled Gabrielle. "Guys... Wanna stay here for a while?"

"YEAH!!!" smiled Shizuka and Irene.

"Huh... this is the first time you've smiled in a while," smiled Irene.

"Just... got a bit excited," Shizuka blushed, looking away.

Jotaro's eyes quiver, as if he was about to cry, seeing Shizuka smile for the first time. "Right... I should go outside..."

"Whoa, whoa..." said Fionna. "This part of town isn't really... safe for men to go outside by themselves..."

"Let 'im walk! He's a Time-Stopper, anyway!" yelled Bubblegum the Pink Cat.

"Could you at least show some concern!?" asked Darna, who wore green high heels.

"Women...." Patricia shakes her head, still sounding like Patrick.

"Bahahahahhahaha!" laughed Spongegal, sounding like a weird Ice Queen. "You are a woman, Patricia!"

"I reproduce asexually... So..." said Patricia. "I'm both, Spongegal."

"What a mind fuck!" laughed Spongegal.

Jotaro walks around at night as some drunk Filipino women stare at him.

They're somewhat intimidated by him, but at the same time, they were being creeps and staring at his pecs and butt.

Jotaro squints his eyes as he enters a bar alone.

At the bar, Jotaro drinks iced tea silently as some women stare at him.

Suddenly, someone tries to touch his butt, but Jotaro grabs her hand.

"Hold on-..." Jotaro's eyes widen. He thought, "Fuck... What the hell? Why is her strength-...?" He's shaking, struggling to keep her hand away from him.

Suddenly, he gets slapped as he crashes into the ground.

"What the hell...!?" whispered Jotaro. "Damn... She's strong..."

Several women sneer as they surround Jotaro.

"I can't use Star Platinum on non-Supernaturals..." thought Jotaro.

"Oy..." 

*step... step...*

"Get the fuck outta my way," said a woman who looks exactly like Jotaro. She has a small bust but is incredibly tall. She is wearing the exact same outfit as Jotaro.

They leave out of fear.

"Tch-..." said the woman. "The name's Kujo Jotura."

Jotura offers her hand to Jotaro, who scoffs and stands back up.

"Yep... You're me, alright..." said Jotura. "Let's walk and talk outta here."

"Ow!" yelled Jotaro, grabbing his nail. "My nail!"

Later...

"So..." said Jotaro. "In this world, the roles of estrogen and testosterone are reversed?"

"Not exactly," said Jotura. "While in your world, cavewomen were probably the ones that reared the children in the nest, cavemen were the ones rearing the children in ours. In our world, it was Adam who was tempted to eat the apple, and he was the one who seduced Eve to eat it. Your roles are probably reversed."

"Yep," said Jotaro. "So... Goddess rules your world?"

"The Holy Spirit? Yes," said Jotura. "It's a weird deal between her and God, apparently. Very odd. Because of physics mumbo jumbo, testosterone makes you physically weaker in this universe. However, you mature much faster, you're much more emotional, and you discharge bloody sperm painfully every month."

"We just call that a period," said Jotaro.

"Oh, wow. So do we," said Jotura.

"Why..." said Jotaro. "Why would the Dark Gems enter this... Actually, never mind. Their pronouns are 'She.' This makes sense that they chose to live close to this side of the Omniverse.You-have sons? Presumably, because I have daughters?"

"Yes," said Jotura. "Kujo Airon Jones and Kujo Shosuke."

"And the pair?"

"Giona Giovanni and Higashikata Jozuka."

"And the others?"

"Nijimura Kei. Hirose Yasuho. Guini Mista. Terrence Una. Son Guka AKA Caulifla. Princess Cabba IV (she's a bitch). Shira "Moba" Kageyama. Saita. The other Higashikata Jozuka. Hirose Koichi."

"Giorno Giovanna, Higashikata Josuke, Son Goku, Prince Vegeta IV, Guido Mista, Trish Una, Nijimura Okuyasu, Hirose Koichi, Kageyama Shigeo, Saitama, the other Higashikata Josuke, and Hirose Yasuho."

"Cool," said Jotura.

"So... what's your universe's deal?" asked Jotaro.

"Well... In our world, we never fought a Stefan. Instead, we fought-..."

Jotaro and Jotura face a frozen Uxasia, a female variant of Darkseid in the center of the city, upon several destroyed buildings nearby, as if the ice block fell onto the world.

"Interesting," said Jotaro. "So, he took Stefan's place. He wants to achieve DIO's Heaven?"

"DIA, actually. And no. He wants to rule all life and take away free will," said Jotura. "We've been protecting this in accordance with Barbara Wayne (Batwoman), Penny Parker (Spider-Woman), and Chara Kent's (Superwoman's) order. Dane of Elysium, AKA Wonderous Man is this creature's relative."

Jotaro grabs his belly. "Shit... Fuckin' hurts..."

Meanwhile...

"So..." said Michelle JoJo, who stood before the rest of the Quiet Storm. She wore what Miguel JoJo used to wear. She has a small bust, she is tall, she is incredibly muscular, and she has long hair. "Let me get this straight. You brought in two very powerful foreign male counterparts of ours that you fully know that new males entering this world will instantly have a fucking period."

"Uh..." said the six.

"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA-!!!"

"Hay Naku..." said Michelle. "Star Platinum Bites the Dust."

Time is erased.

Time resumes.

Josuke is held down by Michelle. 

"Get off of me! I feel..." he sobbed. "I feel so fucking fat..."

"What the hell!?" asked Bubblegum. "I'm confused. So... Apparently, because men in our universe had time to practice and train their hormones..."

"A sudden mutation like this makes them extremely dangerous," said Michelle.

Josuke growls and woges.

"Why do you think Goblin went crazy? Or the other Mutates in the other Earths?" asked Michelle.

"Ah..." said Jozuka. "So... what do we do?"

"Give 'em their shit and get them the hell outta here..." said Michelle. "Where are the girls?"

"Roughhousing in the kitchen..." said Spongegal.

"AH!!!" yelled Yurielle. "I broke my ribs!" She then laughs psychotically.

"Why aren't we affected!?" asked Bubblegum.

"We've had years of training ourselves through growing up. Of course, these people are going to have to go crazy like this. It's like gaining mental disorders because of a surgical sex change."

"What's wrong with surgical sex changes?" asked Patricia.

"They didn't WANT to have a sex change," said Michelle. "Of course, it's gonna affect them negatively... psychologically speaking... Imagine having your sex forcefully changed. That's like... fucked up..."

"You wanna go!?" asked Shizuka.

"YOU WANNA GO!?" asked Irene.

The pair start barking deeply at each other.

"Christ..." said Jozuka.

Josuke is crying on the floor. "I need to go on a diet..."

"It's okay..." Jozuka pats his head.

"Oh... SURE!!! What!? Sex is your solution to everything!? GOD!!!" yelled Josuke.

"Hey?" asked Jotura, in Michelle's Bluetooth headphones.

"Yeah?" asked Michelle.

"I've got a problem..."

Meanwhile...

 Michelle JoJo sees Jotaro blasting Star Platinum's fists at Jotura.

They try approaching Jotaro.

"DON'T GET NEAR!!! NOT AT LEAST 15 METERS!!!"

Everyone listens.

Michelle has a Stand-Destabilizer in her hand. "Kujo!" yelled Michelle. "Please stand down."

Jotaro is very angry right now and he doesn't know why.

"You're currently suffering from Hormonal Mutation Imbalance aka a Quantum Sex Hormone Change. Currently, the Quiet Storm is keeping the girls under wraps..."

Back in the Mansion...

Yurielle strangles both Spongegal and Patricia.

"Patricia... Help..."

"Only the plot can save us now, Spongegal..."

Gabrielle armwrestles with Cake.

"Aw, heck yeah!" yelled Cake.

Shizuka and Irene are fighting Fionna and Darna. Bubblegum is hiding behind a couch crying for her Nintendo Switch.

"SERVES YOU RIGHT, NERD!!!" yelled Yurielle, sadistically.

Josuke is still crying on the ground. "I have fucking sausage fingers..."

Meanwhile...

Jotaro sighs. "Sorry... Yare yare daze. Honestly," he brings Star Platinum back in his body. "I was about to join a Masculinist Parade. Failing to make my daughters happy pissed me off for some reason."

"Well...!" smiled a beautiful woman wearing nothing but jeans a bra. "I wouldn't say anything against it!"

She wears sunglasses and has tattoos all over her body, exactly the same tattoos as Miguel Ibarra.

"Michelle Ibarra, I take it?" asked Jotaro.

"Yep! The Messiah! Goddess of All! The Heroine of Woman. And Man," smiled Michelle. "My ex warned me about this place."

"Wait... You dated yourself-? What the f-!? You know what? I'm not surprised," sighed Jotaro.

"I am 3,000 years old. I don't give a fuck who or what I date. Anyway, let's wrap this up and give you the object before any of our girls get killed."

Back in the mansion...

"OH, GOD!!! NO!!!" sobbed Jozuka. "NOT THE GODDAMNED COLLECTIBLES!!!"

"Hut hut hut hut-!!!" yelled Gabrielle, marching over the toys. "I WANNA DESTROY EVERYTHING-!!!"

A portal opens and Michelle Ibarra whispers a spell that knocks out all of the women. 

Josuke is left crying alone. "I want to have a baby... so bad..."

Later...

The CoolDudeBus leaves and the group is cured of the mutations upon entering yet another universe.

They all stayed silent.

A portal opens and Miguel walks in.

"Hey, guys!" smiled Miguel. 

Everyone stayed silent.

"Didja enter a Universe that quantumly mutated your atoms? I'm assuming that your hormone roles have flipped," said Miguel.

"Yes," said the rest of the group.

"Yeah... I actually knew the whole time. So I had-..."

"Your ex help us out. Yes, I know."

The group stays silent.

"Is it incest, too, to have sex with yourself? I broke up with her because it felt like I was doing my twin sister..."

Everyone else groans in disgust.

Miguel smiles. "So... another filler that expands the lore of this Omniverse... Hooray..."

Don't worry. The next chapter would be more interesting...

Hey Guys! Took a break from writing. Well... Just four days, so... Eh.Just wanted to say thanks for all the help of reading this and thanks for 1,000+ Hits and 10 Kudos! I promise that I'd stay here until this whole Saga is finished. I'm planning to write a trilogy of Arcs. You see, this is the second Arc of the MiH Saga. The final one would be done probably 2024-2026.

"I..." said Jotaro. "I respect women now."

"I'm surprised by the self-control you guys do," said Gabrielle. "All I was was a horny angry person... With a dominating personality... It's like I was a teenage boy in the school near my house... Who just entered puberty... Like... all of a sudden... A rush of hormones..."

"Getting groped by someone physically stronger than you is fucked... It gives you a chill in your spine and you just feel revolted about yourself..." said Jotaro.

Why is it as if you're speaking from experience?

Shut up and let me write.

"I feel shame for what I've done... Stalking that guy I like..." said Shizuka. "Knowing... what happened to you, Papa..."

"Arigatou..." said Jotaro. "It... I can't explain it."

"It turned you on, weirded you out, made you feel uncomfortable, and grossed out by yourself because you feel used?" asked Miguel.

"Y-... Yes..." said Jotaro.

"I feel so weird... It was as if... I was aggressive enough to do anything... But when I see a guy... I felt weird... and awkward..." said Irene.

"I enjoyed hurting Spongegal and Patricia and now I feel horrible about myself..." said Yurielle. 

"I think you're just a sadist..." said Miguel.

"Why do I still feel so fat...!?" sobbed Josuke, holding his knees near his chest.

"Because you are, dumbass," said Miguel. "Not mocking you for your image... Just mocking you because you lack sensing the reality of your self-image." 

"I wanna be vegan," said Josuke.

The CoolDudeBus drives away.

"Well... We learned today that we have to empathize with the other sex..." said Miguel. "When I was there... Boy! I was raped by a gang of women!"

Everyone turns to Miguel, shocked and feeling bad for him.

"Are you okay?" asked Gabrielle.

"Oh, Gabrielle!" laughed Miguel. He began to cry. "I'm never okay..."

Gabrielle pats his head. "There, there... There, there..."

Everyone, except Jotaro, pats his head.

"Who's driving the CoolDudeBus?" asked Gabrielle.

The bus crashes into-...

"Ew!" yelled Josuke. "My underwear's bloody!"