415. Announcements 2

Hi! Hello!

What?

Oh, yeah! Gonna decide to take a break from this book for now.

What? "Why?"

Oh! Easy! That's because I'm in the middle of writing this book's SPIRITUAL spin-off/sequel. I call it Maharlica. No, not the Multiversal Empire from this book. The alternate universe desert Kingdom in Earth-Abatania. 

Vibe check!

The Author grabs a child by the face. 

"Let me go!"

Silence child! GIMME YOUR PARENT'S CREDIT CARD NUMBER!!! THE STARDUST CRUSADERS, THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, THE J-FORCE, TEAM AVATAR, TEAM DELTA, AND THE AVENGERS NEED IT TO WIN THIS WAR AGAINST BILL CIPHER!!! I NEED MONEY!!! I NEED MONEY!!!

Sadly, The Author can't have money because Wattpad, AO3, and society itself said so.

So he chucks the child down the highest floor of the building.

*CRASH!!!*

"I'm okay!"

LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM!!!

What? You're saying that looks like Masaru Music #2? WRONG!!! I JUST PUT THE WRONG TITLE CARD BECAUSE I AM AN IDIOT!!!

0:00-Battle 

13:15-Battle 

25:39-Dark

7:56-Eerie

9:42-Harmony

10:33-Hercules

12:25-Salvi

15:34-Spider-Man Prime

18:08-The Batman

20:38-The Second Reaper

(Insert joke here.)

NO!!! TOO LAZY, ASSHOLE PAST SELF!!!

What's that? Do you want more Vanilla Stories with Gabrielle and Narcos?

"I never said that," said the hypothetical reader. 

You got it! Jk. I can't write Ecchi!

Yet...

JK JK!!!

At least... I think there is a reader... Is there a reader? TELL ME!!!

*takes out spoon*

I WILL SPOON YOU, MY INCELOUS FRIEND!!! Eh!? EH!?

*drops the spoon and crawls up to a corner*

Why does nobody love me...?

Probably because you claimed to be a stalker when you were 12 without actually being a stalker.

I saw it IN AN ANIME ONE TIME I THOUGHT IT WAS ROMANTIC!!!

Mikhail, it's fine. You were 12. And you didn't know what the fuck a stalker even was.

No! I have to -! I have to -!

The Author started doing NFTs.

Note: Everything the Author has ever said is a joke.-PewDiePie (Earth-77)

I love you, Joaquin. (Joaquin's a code name for a girl I like...)

JUST KIDDING!!! I MOVED ON BECAUSE I GIGACHAD NOW!!!

*GRABS VIRGINS AND CLIMBS EIFFEL TOWER*

OOGA OOGA!!! WITNESS ME GIGACHADETRY!!! BOOGA BOOGIE BOOGA!!!

*whispers* I'm Filipino... and therefore Asian... so I have a tiny-...

Dude... stop.

PRICK-A-DING-DONG!!! BLING BLONG BLING BLONG BING-A-LONG!!!

JK!!!

Or am I...?

*Tribal noises. Plays with gongs and dances Ilocano dances.*

That's appropriation!

I'm half Ilocano, mate! This is appropriation! *Ahem...* Hamburgers, am I right? Sick 'em, boys!

*Author's soldiers then proceed to shoot Freddy Fazbera who is invading Russia.*

I'm a virgin! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WHY WON'T ANYONE LOVE ME!??

Jk. I don't care. I have ANIME!!!

My wives include Sigmakata Nishikata, Gigachado Gojo, and Tadano Chadano.

These men are-...

*Opens portal and grabs them out of the blue with my GIGANTIC god-like hands and proceeds to sniff them as they cry for help*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!Husbandos are the best...

"PewDiePie is not a fascist," said Miguel Ibarra, the Messiah of this book. "There! I did the thing you wanted, you fucking asshole."

See? The chosen one said he isn't! SO HE ISN'T!!! BOOM, BABY!!!

That doesn't apply to your world, dumbass.

NOOOOOOO!!!

*slams the table*

*slams the table*

*slams the table again*

*slams the table AGAIN*

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

*starts humping the table*

Ahn!

"Please help..." said the table.

What are you doing?

*In thick derogatory Tagalog accent* I am Paking a table.

"OH, GOD!!!" yelled the table's wife. "Johnny! Call 911!!!"

Johnny, their son, calls 911, so the author jumps out of the window.

The author begins Fortnite dancing in the street.

Uh-huh! This is what you call CANCER!!!

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!!"

He gets battered by the cops.

POLICE BRUTALITY!!! POLICE-!!!

When Jesus returns for the second coming and does something dumb, does Twitter have the balls to cancel him...?

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!

If anyone who cancels anyone goes to hell, would people still cancel people?

Yeah. I still think they would.

Dang. How about prison?

*FLUSH!!!*

Ah! That hit the spot! Phew! Just came back from the toilet!

Y'know Filipinos never use toilet paper and use dipper, water, and soap instead? I have a video if you wanna-...

DO NOT POST THAT!!! YOU WILL GET A STRIKE!!! OR WORSE!!!

Uh-huh... Hey, look! SPEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!

*spins a ball in absolute rotation.*

I like NTR. BOOM!!! I'm a virgin beta male INCEL!!! WOOHOO!!! I am SUCH a relatable character.

No, you're not. Get help, dude.

I'm 20 years old, I'm fat, and I still haven't left home.

It's fine. I'm Asian. This is normal in Asia. Totally normal... *sniff... sniff...*

I have a thing for kindhearted popular girls. 

Like, for example, Joaquin! Or... Jotaro Kujo!

Not gay. I swear. I like women. Joaquin should be Joaquinita. I'm straight. I'M STRA-!!!

People are so fucking annoying when they say you're weird because you're different.

Then... they start laughing... and laughing... and they just keep laughing.

Because they think you're a joke. A funny... A nobody... Because you were raised by television and don't pick up on social cues... Neither do you understand humor... Neither were you handsome... or funny... and you smell weird.

But... sometimes... You gotta get through that darkness in order to be a better person... Yeah, you're still lacking in some ways... But I believe that I... you... we can be better people.

That's why I wrote this.

Haha! Almost got you! With the tears and stuff!

Seriously, though. It's a book I made... About people doing bad things because of how they were treated for being different.

So... yeah. I'm gonna try to write a book about what it means to be alone... To be different... To be essentially a nobody...

Because I know how that felt for years... And I still hate those people now... But I'm trying not to.

It still needs a  little tweaking... But I think I can make this happen.

What? Huh? I'm gonna ask for a donation from you? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

This book is entirely free! For now... At least, 'til I get sponsors.

So... Yeah. I hope that you'd read my book. You don't have to, but y'know... I think it'd be a fun ride.

It supposedly captures the spirit of Made in Heaven Saga, with different genres in each part and different protagonists in each phase.

Can I do this?

No idea! Never tried doing this before!

Wait... Yes, I have. I just wrote Made in Heaven Saga!

Oh, right! Thank you so much for uh.... 2089 hitters! And... 13 Kudos! Yeah... Yeah! Thanks. Really helped my confidence! I think I have a shot at being a writer one day... I really, really do. And you guys are the reason for it. Thank you. 

All in all, I have 1 Subscriber, 51 Kudos, 4 comments, 6 bookmarks, nearly a MILLION words, and 2361 hits ALL IN ALL!!!

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoy my madness.

ANYWAY!!!

Buh bye!