479. The God-pire ~Also, Lycanthropia~

Luz activates her Eldritch Gauntlets, which flicker.

"No, no... focus your energy around the fist... Not within..." said Miguel.

Luz smiles and does so, successfully creating golden gauntlets around her fists.

She swiftly punches the air, smiling. "Thanks, Miguel."

"That attack is known to be able to attack spiritual beings... Because its energy vibrates in the same wavelength as spirits... But it can also hurt anything in the physical world."

"Hey, Luz...?" asked Sasha. "Could you do the paperwork later...? About the MABUS case...?"

"Can do!" smiled Luz.

Sasha waves and walks away.

"Luz, that's the 12th time you've been asked to do paperwork this week," said Miguel. "I'm pretty sure you need a break..."

"Nonsense!" giggled Luz. "I wanna do paperwork!"

"Luz, last night I saw you eating cheese because of endless haystacks of stress," said Miguel.

"Ooh! That's a bad sign!" said King.

"Guys! I'm fine! I just like doing a lot... lot... lot... lot... of paperwork."

"Yeah... But Luz. You should go tell Sasha to tell others to do the paperwork for once."

"Yeah, but I'd be inconveniencing them!"

"So... you'd rather just inconvenience yourself...?"

"Pretty much!"

"Luz... There are people out there who would be incredibly critical with you, even if they do it subconsciously."

"No! People are great as long as you do what they want!"

"Hey! You got a minute...?" asked Drew.

Luz nods and Miguel facepalms.

"Learn to love yourself, Luz!" yelled Miguel.

"You, too, King," said Drew.

The pair faces Stanley Pines.

"Hey! Heheh!" laughed Stanley Pines. "What is that thing? Some sort of Fox-Poodle...?"

"Mr. Pines, these are Detectives Noceda and Clawthorne. They'll be handling your case," said Drew.

"What seems to be the problem, Stanley...?" asked Luz. "I mean... What's the weather...?"

"Shush! I've been watching you two for a while and I think you guys are perfect to help me out!" smiled Stanley. "I'm reporting a crime that's kinda my fault!But I didn't do anything illegal!"

"O...kay...?" asked Luz and King.

"The thing is... I just had a small very legal bet with a couple of goons on some Earth. I bet that their Boss couldn't turn water into a jellyfish. Biblical crap, y'know...?" asked Stanley.

"And he did it...?" asked King.

"Yeah...! And now I owe 'em something which I can't pay!"

"Money...?" asked Luz.

"No. They want me! A friggin' Grimm! Please! I don't wanna work for a Mafia! You gotta believe me! I have a life here!"

"Look... I never really liked you because of the way you look at Eda..." said King.

"Oh! So you're Marily-... Eda's kid, huh...?"

"Yeah! And as a matter of fact, she doesn't need you anymore!" King crossed his arms. "She told me how after marrying her, you immediately broke her heart by trying to steal her half!"

"She stole my winnings, you tiny furry iguana! And she's the one who broke my heart!"

"I don't believe you!"

"You wanna know what I did with your Mom in Honeymoon right before she left...!?"

"Okay, okay!" yelled King, covering his ears. "But, I just can't bring myself-..."

"We'll do it!" smiled Luz.

"WHAT!?!?" asked King.

"Haha! Excellent!" sneered Stanley. "Let's go to that Universe and kill that Mafioso! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Hey, Wu!" smiled Anne. "I really love those Ube Cupcakes you offered me! So... here!"

"What are these...?" smiled Drew.

Anne offers Drew a lunchbox with Mango Sticky Rice. "Khao Niaow Ma Muang!" she smiled.

"Oh, wow!" smiled Drew. "It's like Kakanin... Thanks, Anne!"

Meanwhile...

Luz, King, and Stanley enter Earth-Star.

"Isn't this the universe of the Joestar Family...?" asked Luz. "Where are we going, exactly...?"

"We're going someplace beautiful, Noceda..." said Stanley. "A land of swindlers!"

The group enters a city... known as Naples...

"Welcome! TO NAPLES!!!" smiled Stanley. "LAND OF GELATO!!! AND PASTA!!!"

A random man gets stabbed in the chest and drops to the ground while an old lady casually steals his wallet.

"Should we do something about-...?" asked King.

"You don't got no jurisdiction here! Haha! It's called a hustle, kid! See...? Those guys are arresting-...!"

*CRACK!!!*

The thief had his legs broken as the wallet is given back to the man.

"Oh...! That's... them...Y'know, maybe we shouldn't talk to these-..."

"We will, Stan," said Luz. "Don't you worry!"

"Uh... Haha! Yeah! I suggest we go do this my way, then!"

"Or... Y'know...! Follow... procedure...?" asked Luz. "And we can settle this legally and we can all go home...?"

"HA!!! Right! Like that's ever gonna happen!" laughed Stanley. "'Legally!'" He shook his head and laughed.

Meanwhile...

"Uh... Guys...?" asked Anne. "Remember when Wu told us about him having two forms...? One is his Blutbad form and the other is his Primal Form...?"

"Uh... yeah...?" asked Dipper. "Why...?"

Anne and Sprig meet Dipper and Mabel, who are reading some paperwork.

"Haha! Could you guys please hide with us in the dungeon...?" asked Sprig.

"What...? Why...?" asked Dipper.

"RAUGH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! OGH!!! OGH!!!" Drew sees the four Detectives in the rest area.

"What the heck...?" asked Dipper.

Drew then charges after them as the four stand up and run (and hop) away.

Meanwhile...

"'Libeccio...?'" asked Luz. "What's this place... Is it where we're gonna eat?"

"Stop asking too many wrong questions and shut your yaps," said Stanley, as Luz frowns. "This place is where their headquarters are."

"Who's 'they?'" asked King.

"Asking the right questions. I like that," said Stanley. 

"I don't care," said King.

"I forgot the name. Sounds religion-y," said Stanley. "First I heard about them, I thought they were the Church. Turns out they mean business."

Stanley, Luz, and King, in disguises, walk up to a man behind the counter.

They're all wearing the same blonde wig.

"Hey!" smiled Stan. "I'd like to speak with your manager! The name's Karen!"

The man squints his eyes. "Do you really think that your disguise is going to trick us, Stanley Pines...?"

"Dang... Well, that website with the Karens meme nonsense was a lie..."

"That was a website called 9gag and it was a terrible joke," said King.

Luz facepalms.

"Okay, Okay... Look, Alessandro... You gotta listen to me! I don't want to work for your boss! I'm tryin' to be clean! Luz! Tell him!"

"Stanley is an absolute legend!" smiled Luz.

"A little bit too on the nose there, kid," said Stanley. "So... Yeah! Also, these two are cops. So you can't touch me, HAHA!!!"

"Sorry! It's all my fault! Really!"

"What...? No one said it was your-..."

The man squints his eyes. He snaps his fingers and suddenly, a Zauberbiest walks out of the door and chokes them telekinetically, as they all float midair.

"The Boss will see you now..." the Zauberbiest said.

The trio are brought into a palace-like hallway on the top floor.

They enter the giant doors at the end of the long hallway and enter a cozy office. The Zauberbiest lets go of them.

"Stay behind the line, Grimm," said the Zauberbiest.

The doors are then locked.

They stay behind a line they see drawn on the floor and face a desk in front of them with a chair facing away.

"I suggest you activate your Stand-Detectors," Stanley said, looking worried.

"Why-?" asked Luz.

"Minus ten cooperation points," said Stanley.

"You're scoring us!?"

"Just do it..." said Stanley.

Luz rolls her eyes and does so.

So does King.

Stanley touches the pocket of his pants.

*BANG!!!*

*PEW, PEW, PEW!!!*

*TING!!!*

Stanley's hat falls off. 

"HEY!!!" yelled Stan.

"Nearly shot four bullets, there..." Mista points his gun at Stanley. "I saw you reach for those brass knuckles, Conartist."

Stanley's eyes turn black upon seeing No. 5.

"Haha!" smiled No. 5. "Hello!"

"Oh, HI!!!" smiled Luz. "Hey, there, little guy! Who are you...?"

"No. 5! I am No.5! Hihi!" smiled No. 5.

"Hi! I'm Luz Noceda-!!!"

"Minus 25 for telling the enemy your real name," said Stanley.

Luz looks down. "Sorry... I'm an idiot... haha!"

Stanley approaches the chair looking away from them. "Hey-..."

"WANNABE!!!"

*POW!!!*

The floor's concrete softens like dough and the trio back away.

"Stay behind the line," said Trish.

The chair slowly spins around and we see...

Giorno Giovanna.

Luz is terrified. "(Mr. Pines... You didn't tell us this was Giorno Giovanna!)"

"(Why...? Does that matter...?)" asked Stan.

"(He's the second most powerful man in Earth-Star!)" whispered Luz. 

"(And the most powerful Stand-User known to man!)" whispered King.

"(Didn't scare me...)Hey! GioGio! How long's it been!? How's that knucklehead daughter of yours...!?"

"Haruno's status is none of your business," said Giorno, squinting his eyes. "You owe me your services, Grimm."

"We'll do anything! ANYTHING!!! I just don't want to do your dirty work for you!" yelled Stanley.

"I'm not asking you to do any dirty work. I'm asking you to kill and/or someone," said Giorno.

"Are you seriously not hearing yourself, Twister Sister...?" asked Stanley.

"Wait... You're the most powerful Stand-User anyone's ever heard of..." said Luz. "Why don't you just take them out yourself...?"

"Because the person in question is my brother," said Giorno. 

"That's kinda messed up..." said King. "You want us to kill your brother...?"

"Believe me, it isn't..." said Giorno. "I need him dead or captured, Titan. His name is Donatello Versus. He's dangerous."

"Okay...?" asked Luz.

"We believe that Giorno's father, DIO, had children. And those children have gained Stands from a certain Enrico Pucci," said Trish.

"Wait... 'DIO!?' As in the Vampire that we fought...!?" asked King.

"Ah... so you've met him..." said Giorno.

"You're DIO's son!?" asked Luz.

"Yes... explains a lot, huh...?" asked Giorno.

"Explains his charisma..." said Stanley. "And possible sexual attraction to the same sex."

"Pfft! No...!" laughed Trish.

Giorno stares at her.

"Right...?" asked Trish. "Right...?"

"So, what do you want us to do...?" asked King.

"We want you to either kill or capture Versus. Either way, will do," said Mista. "His Stand was capable of repelling Giorno's attacks."

"What!?" asked King. "How do you expect us to beat him, you butts!?"

"You're a Titan, Sorceress, and Grimm. Figure it out," said Giorno. "Do it, and we won't charge you."

"THEY WERE CHARGING YOU!?!?" asked Luz.

"Really hanging by a thread there, Luz," said Stanley.

"So, please... Bring my brother here..." Giorno woges. His irises turn red like a Blutbad's, but no black eyeballs. His fangs protrude out. His hair stands up similar to DIO's. His skin also turns paler. He also gains black lips. He hisses. "Well...?"

Luz and King back away, acting horrified. But Stan rolls his eyes. 

"Alright, fine..." said Stan. "But just this one job... Got it...?"

"Yes," said Giorno. 

"I see that you've finally gained your true form," said Stanley.

"Yes. And I abhor it. *HISS!!!*" Giorno woges back. "After all... I'm a Daywalker... But if there are other Daywalkers out there... I need them contained... If not... They'd just be out there feasting on innocents."

Meanwhile...

Dipper, Mabel, Anne, Sprig, and Amity all hide inside the interrogation room. Amity locks the door from the outside using magic.

"Oh... So you're all here," said Amity. "Did you get any phones...?"

Sprig facepalms.

"SPRIG!!!" yelled Anne.

"Shush!" shushed Amity.

"Grugh!?" Wu looks around, thinking he heard something, but continues looking around.

"Why does he look like that!?" asked Sprig.

"He's a Lycanthropic Human. When people have Lycanthropia, they revert to their Primal Form," said Dipper. "In this case, apparently Humans turn back into Neanderthals..."

"GRUGH!!! OOGH!!! OOGH!!! UWAGH!!! UWAGH!!!"

"So... he's a Blutbad and a Lycanthrope!?" asked Amity.

"Yeah... Apparently, when Lycanthropes get bit or scratched by another Lycanthrope, they will not only have Primal Forms, but they'll also have Blutbad forms over time," said Dipper. "But they're still Humans... Or... whatever their original species was."

"Can I be a Lycanthrope!?" asked Sprig.

"No... It only affects Primates," said Dipper.

"What's that mean...?" asked Sprig.

"It means it only affects species related to Humans, Apes, and Monkeys."

Everyone turns to Drew, who humps the couch and howls.

"The place is under lockdown. We have to figure out how to calm Wu down," said Amity.

"I got the book," said Anne, smiling.

"Well...? Read it," yelled Dipper.

"Okay, okay!" yelled Anne. "It says, 'There's no known cure.'"

Everyone else groans and rolls their eyes.

"Oh... Wait... Miguel JoJo says otherwise. There is a way to calm someone down when they're in a Berserk state..."

"'Berserk state'...?" asked Sprig.

"Yeah, dude. It says here, 'Lycanthropia is similar to having the Hulk Virus, which is a virus you gain from getting an overdose of the Super Soldier Serum. This one is a virus from the Lycanthropic Virus, which is a genetic virus similar to Standoids. However, Lycanthropia affects just about everyone, transforming anyone into the primal versions of themself in the three nights of the full moon.'"

"It's not a full moon, though!"

"Here... 'A way to trigger Lycanthropia is... Nutmeg...'" said Anne.

"Did... Did Wu eat anything out of the ordinary...?" asked Sprig.

"Ah... Heheh!" smiled Anne.

"What...?" asked Dipper.

"Well... You know that we're foodie buddies around here... We exchange food every week..." said Anne.

"Anne... What did you do...?" asked Sprig.

"I...! Fed Wu Mango Sticky Rice and kinda poisoned him with Nutmeg...!" yelled Anne.

"Anne!" yelled Amity.

"I didn't know!" yelled Anne.

"So, how do we stop it...?" asked Dipper.

"'A way to calm the Lycanthrope down is by... Wolfsbane...'" said Anne.

"I think there's some in the Spice Cabinets," said Amity.

"Okay..." said Anne, activating her Charged State. "Let's do this."

Meanwhile...

Luz whispers. "(Stupid! Stupid! Ugh! Why did you have to say all that!?)"

Stan frowns and sighs. "We're here."

*knock, knock, knock...*

Donatello Versus opens the door. "Yes...?"

"Hey," said Stanley. "I'm here to collect the bounty on your head! Haha! And I'm with a couple of cops! So..."

"Go away..." said Donatello.

Stanley's foot stops the door from closing.

"Ow," said Stan.

Donatello sighs. "What do you want...?" asked Donatello.

"We want you in for questioning!" smiled Luz. "Stan here kinda has a job to fight you! But, we'll just arrest and interrogate you instead! Haha!"

"Yeah..." said Stan. "So put on this blindfold and get in the car," he said, taking out a blindfold.

"Yeah... That's not gonna happen," said Donatello.

"Donny! Can I call you, 'Donny?'" smiled Stan.

"No."

"Well, I will, David," Stan is revealed to be wearing his Brass Knuckles. "We'd like to bring ya to a special friend of ours..."

Donatello woges into a Vampire. "Grimm." He activates his Stand and attacks Stanley, who dodges its punch.

"I have enchanted Knuckles, Darla..." said Stan, walking inside. "And we don't have to settle things, violently.Are you a teenager...?It'd be funny if you were a teenager."

Donatello backs away as Luz prepares her Tao Mandalas and King prepares to shout.

"HEAVEN OVER WORLD!!!" yelled Donatello, activating his Stand, which resembles a golden mannequin with a magician's hat and suit.

The Stand, Heaven Over World, punches Stan, but he dodges. "MUDA!!!" 

Stand then punches Donatello in the face. "Damn it, Stewart! Stop attacking us with your Stand that's practically dressed like the world's most glorified scam artists!"

"MUDA!!!" Stan dodges the next punch.

Luz's Tao Mandala shields fail to block the punches. "Why aren't they working!"

"Because you don't have a Stand, kid!" yelled Stanley.

"Ugh! I'm such an idiot!"

Stan sighs. "Kid... you don't have to beat yourself up like this."

"What...? I'm not-!"

"Kid... I was only messin' with you the first couple-..."

"Fifteen..." corrected King.

"-fifteen times..." said Stan. "But you don't have to hate yourself that much, kid."

"Pfft! I don't hate myself, Mr. Pines!" she yelled.

"Uh... guys...?" asked King, as Donatello slowly approaches them.

"Yes, you do!" yelled Stanley. "You gotta calm the heck down!"

"I don't! I don't hate myself! Please, just... stop!" she angrily yelled. "I'm a bad person! I am a very bad person! It's my fault! It always has been my fault!"

Stan sighs. "Yeah... I get that."

Luz stops. 

"I get that..." said Stan. "But right now... We have to kill and/or Donatello."

"MUDA!!!"

Stanley dodges the punch and punches Donatello in the face with Hamon. In pain, Donatello growls and roars shaking his head violently.

Stan walks toward Donatello.

"HEAVEN OVER WORLD!!!"

Suddenly, Stanley turns into a dog.

"WHOA!!!" Luz immediately turns Stanley back to normal.

"Sorceress..." he said.

Luz shoots several energy blasts at Donatello, who blasts it away.

"*HISS!!!*" Donatello then activates his eyes, which blast heat vision.

Luz then whispers a spell that blocks the attack.

King attacks with a shout, but Donatello says, "Sleep."

This makes both Stan and King sleep.

"So... You can rewrite truth..." said Luz.

"Yeah! Well... Pretty much... Heheh..." sneered Donatello. "What are you gonna do about it...? MUDA!!!"

*BANG!!!*

Luz crashes to the ground.

"MUDA!!! MUDA MUDA!!!"

*BANG!!! BANG, BANG!!!*

Luz spits out blood, drooling a lot of it.

"That attack is known to be able to attack spiritual beings... Because its energy vibrates in the same wavelength as spirits... But it can also hurt anything in the physical world."

"What are you gonna do, Luz...?" Donatello begins melting the universe. "What can... you do...?" Donatello activates Heaven Over World, preparing to punch her in the chest.

Luz activates her Eldritch Gauntlets and punches Heaven Over World across the face.

Luz stands up and begins beating Donatello in the face over and over. "HUGH!!! HUGH!!! HUGH!!! HUGH!!!"

*SPLAT!!! SPLAT!!!*

Stan and King wake up.

"Luz...? Whoa... Luz...!"

Luz punches Donatello over and over again.

"LUZ!!!" yelled King.

Luz's eyes widen and she stops.

"Let's get outta here..." said Stan, grabbing her shoulder.

Meanwhile...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" yelled Sprig, hopping away.

Drew chases after Sprig. "Frog! Taste! Good!"

"NO!!! NO, I DON'T!!! I SWEAR!!! WE TASTE BAD!!!"

"I EAT FROG BEFORE!!! FROG, GOOOD!!!"

Anne punches Drew to the ground. "He's a Poison Dart Frog, dude! You'll die before even digesting him!"

Drew grabs Anne and knocks him to the ground.

Amity blasts Abomination balls at Drew, which turn into nets that trap Wu.

"DO IT!!!" yelled Sprig.

Mabel takes out the Wolfsbane and shoves it in Drew's mouth.

Dipper rocks on the ground. "He... He humped my leg... He h-humped my precious... drum stick..."

Drew turns back to normal and falls back asleep.

"Ah! Great!" smiled Anne. "We... We did it..." she panted in relief. "Let's go make some cupcakes..."

"Seriously...!?" asked Amity.

"I was joking...!" yelled Anne.

Everyone stares at Anne.

"Too soon?"

King, Luz, and Stan walk in.

"You settled things...?" asked Amity. "With the Mafia...?"

"Yeah... Turns out it was Giorno Giovanna... We did a job for him. Legal, don't worry," said Luz.

"Oh my Gosh, are you okay!?" asked Amity.

"Yeah... I'm fine..." said Luz.

Later...

Stan watches TV in the Mystery Shack.

"About what... you said..." said Luz, knocking on the door.

"The who now...?"

"You get it... Right...?"

"Oh...Yeah...My old man... he wasn't always the guy who was... easily impressed."

Luz sits down next to him. "No one was ever really impressed by who I was and... what I can do... That... shaped me into who I am now..."

"Same here..." said Stan. "Wanna... get a beer...?"

"I'm 19."

"Oh, right...Grape juice...?"

Luz smiles. "Sure."

"Pick the one from the fridge. The ones from the vending machine are just water with food coloring."

P't nvuuh thrl opt hu vmmly ol jhu'a ylmbzl. Iljhbzl, P ohcl h kylht P ilsplcl pz qbza.