37. Chapter 37
Carina holds Maya’s right hand in between her own. The last two days have been pure chaos. Trying to figure out procedures and what paperwork they need. The requirements for marriage. The time frame they have to work within. All sorts of government bureaucracy that they needed to know. But now, Carina is in the passenger’s seat as Maya drives them to the airport. How Carina wanted it to be originally.
She keeps lifting Maya’s hand to her mouth, kissing her fingers, or sometimes flipping her hand over and pressing kisses to her palm, folding her fingers over it, and rest their hands back in her lap.
Maya will glance over from time to time to get a look at Carina, the Italian with the introspective smile on her lips. The woman looks straight ahead as they travel down the road; destination in mind, but a yearning to stay in her heart. And Maya knows all of this just from a quick glance. Or maybe it’s the way Carina squeezes her hand, clutches her hand, like she never wants to let it go.
They weren’t supposed to do this, so Maya is in her work uniform, she’s in the middle of a shift. She had Andy take over for two hours while she brings Carina to the airport. And she doesn’t want today to be somber, but it feels a little like it is.
“Okay.” Maya pulls up outside the departures area.
“Not okay.” Carina mumbles.
“Uh-“ Maya looks over at Carina but Carina gets out of the car.
Maya hurries to get out to meet her at the rear of the vehicle. Carina is lifting the back hatch to retrieve her luggage.
“Here, let me get that.” Maya reaches in and grabs the bag before Carina can. She sets it down on the sidewalk at looks up to meet Carina’s eye. “Carina, I-“
“Vieni qui, bambina.” Carina pulls Maya into a bone-crushing hug. She presses a kiss to the side of Maya’s head. “I said I wasn’t going to be an emotionally mess today, but I can’t help it. I don’t know if this is worse than the other day, but it would’ve been easier the other day if I left and we didn’t have to do this at the airport.”
As crushing as the thought is, Maya understands. She nods against Carina, rubbing one hand over her back, the other caressing the back of her head. “Carina, I-“ She tries again to say what she wanted earlier.
Carina leans back, looking at Maya, locking eyes with her. “I know.”
“No, I want to say it. I need to say it.” Maya swallows thickly. “I love you. With everything that I am. And I know there’s a lot that we have to figure out, but we will. I’m sure of it. And I’ll miss you so much and I can’t wait for you to get back.” Maya sighs, feeling much better knowing that there is a return date, that Carina has a set date to come back to her. “I need you to go and be amazing and incredible. I need you to be the best doctor you can be. I need you to do these thing and I will take care of everything here. Everything.” Maya sniffles a little, holding the tears in though. “I wish I were going with you but-“ She shrugs and looks behind Carina’s shoulder. “You should go.” She nods towards the airport entrance.
“Maya.” Carina sighs, closing her eyes. “Ti amo, tanto.” She moves her arms from around Maya, brings her hands up and pinches at Maya’s shirt collar, straighten it even though it’s not messed up. She runs her thumbs over the bars on the collar. “Mia capitana.”
Maya smiles, watery. “You’re gonna make me cry.”
Carina chuckles lightly. “Sorry, bambina.” She runs her palms over Maya’s shirt, flattening it out. Her eyes flicker over to Maya’s name tag. Bishop. They haven’t talked about it, but a name that Carina might soon attach to her own. “I love you, Maya Bishop. And I too, will miss you. I’ll probably be busy, but I promise to try to call you so we can figure out this marriage stuff.” Maya just nods. Carina reaches up, putting her right hand on Maya’s neck around her ear, her thumb on her jaw. “Baciami.”
Maya sighs and closes the tiny distance between them in a soft kiss. Slow and lingering.
A car horn blares, startling them both.
“Perché le persone devono essere così maleducate?” (Why do people have to be so rude?)
Carina looks around for the culprit before spotting the man in a car trying to get into the spot Maya is parked in.
“Should I flip him off?” Carina conspires.
Maya bites her lip. “It would be very American of you.” She chuckles.
“Should I rant and rave in Italian?” Carina grins.
“No. That would be worse.” Maya shakes her head, with a little smile.
Carina throws her head back and laughs. “I love you.” She comes back in for a quick kiss before slipping away from Maya. She reaches for her bag and point at her car. “Take care of her for me.” She winks at Maya.
Maya laughs. “I will.”
Carina reaches up with her hand, aimless. “I love you.” She closes her fist and drops her hand.
“I love you.” Maya waves. “See you soon.” She refuses to say goodbye.
“See you soon, bella.” Carina grins with teary eyes.
Maya looks over at the guy that honked at them. She flips him off and hops back in the car quickly and drives off. She has to take a number of deep breath as she leaves the airport to try to calm down. She’s got those anxious armpit sweats. The stinky kind of sweat and knows she’s going to have to change her shirt when she gets back to the station. Even though she feels better about Carina leaving now than she did a few days ago, Maya still has plenty of anxiety about it. About the flight, and Carina being on a plane for 12 hours with people who could be sick. Or being in a hospital full of Covid patients. She worries about them not being able to talk to each other. And about how Carina is going to handle spreading Andrew’s ashes by herself. All of that on top of just having to say goodbye has her a sweaty mess.
Carina puts her mask on as she approaches the airport entrance. She goes and checks her bag and then makes her way to security. She gets through security and all of its procedures. That’s when it happens. As Carina is walking to her gate, the tears start falling. She hasn’t been on a plane to Italy in a long time. She hasn’t been back to Italy in a long time. The last time was when she went to see her father who wasn’t doing well mentally. That was also the reason she came back to the States, with him and his quest to make a baby in a bag happen. But that’s not why she’s crying. She’s not entirely sure why she’s crying, but the tears leak out of her eyes and slip into her mask, some wetting the upper edge.
Carina tucks off into a little corner away from everyone. She finds her hand sanitizer from her bag and squirts some on her hands, rubbing them together before getting a tissue from her bag and slipping her mask down to wipe at her eyes and cheeks with the tissue.
She thinks it probably, most likely, certainly has something to do with Maya. More so than everything else. Carina didn’t think it would be this bad. She didn’t think it would feel this terrible. And she’s not even gone yet. She can already feel the ache starting in her chest. She shakes her head, blows her nose, and pulls her mask back up. Carina takes a deep breath before heading the rest of the way to her gate.
Maya spends the first sixteen hours that Carina is gone on shift, so it doesn’t really feel like she’s gone. It’s not until she goes home that it gets to her. The apartment is quiet. And it could be as if Carina is at work, but Maya knows she’s not. She can’t even trick herself into thinking that. She knows Carina only landed in Italy a few hours ago. She hasn’t heard anything from her yet, but that was mostly to be expected.
Maya slips her pants off and slips into bed. A post-shift nap would be nice, but she doubts her overactive brain will let her rest. She lays there for an hour, not sleeping. Maya groans and rolls over, reaching for her phone. She starts looking up information about courthouse marriages. She told Carina she’d figure it out and she will. And why not right now.
She finds the website with all the information and reads over everything twice. Maya gets up after a little while and goes to find her backpack. She removes a notepad and clipboard and brings them back to bed with her. She sits with her back to the headboard and pulls Carina’s pillow into her lap, using it as a desk for her clipboard and paper. Maya writes down the information that she needs to obtain for a courthouse marriage and the rules they must follow.
She taps her pen against the paper incessantly as she thinks about who they could have as witnesses. Maya would probably choose Andy if it were up to her. She thinks it only fair that Carina gets to pick someone too. She ponders who Carina might choose. Someone from the hospital. She takes a deep breath when she thinks that it should have been Andrew. Maya shakes her head. He should be here for this. He should be congratulating his sister. He should be one of the witnesses.
“Fuck.” She growls and throws the papers and pillow aside and gets up. Maya goes to make a protein shake. She drinks that and goes for a run.
When she returns, Maya is more tired than before, and she thinks maybe she’s exhausted her brain enough to allow herself to sleep. But then she looks at her phone, picking it up from the mess of blankets on the bed. “Damn it.” She runs a hand over her face and two missed calls and a missed Facetime call from Carina.
She hits the icon, calling Carina.
When she got off the plane it took a minute to get her bearings, but then everything clicked back in her mind. Italy. She walks out to baggage claim and waits for her bag. Carina gets her phone out as she waits. She has a text from Gabriella letting her know she is at the airport, ready to gather her. She’s tempted to call Maya, but she wants to wait until she’s someplace quieter, someplace more private. Carina pockets her phone even though her antsy fingers want to hold it.
She gets her bag and heads outside. Gabriella waves her down and she walks over and gets in the car.
“Ciao.” Carina half-smiles. She would give Gabriella a kiss on the cheek but doesn’t know what kind of germs she’s carrying. Instead, she puts her bag in the back seat and climbs in the front, keeping her mask on, her hands to herself.
“Ciao, tesoro. How was your flight?”
Carina frowns. It was long and uncomfortable, wearing the mask the entire time. A few hours in she managed to fall asleep, but it was a fitful sleep, never comfortable enough to sleep well. “You don’t have to use English.”
“Ah, si, throw that American brain out the window.”
Carina smiles a little under her mask. “I’m just saying. I’m in Italy now.”
“And yet-“ Gabriella glances over at Carina. “-you haven’t said a lick of Italian.” She just teasing but it’s clear that Carina isn’t in the mood. Even with a mask on her face, Gabriella can tell. It’s all in her body language and attitude. “Okay, we’ll just go back to the house. Then you can call your girlfriend.”
“Fiancée.” Carina corrects.
Gabriella laughs. “Right. My bad. Fiancée.”
The drive isn’t too long. They get inside and Carina looks around for a moment before going into the bathroom and taking her mask off and washing her face.
“Are you to shower?” Gabriella asks, leaning against the doorway.
“Si.” Carina answers and nods.
Gabriella isn’t sure what to make of her friend. Her demeanor is off. She wonders if it’s just the travel. She’s always tired after a long day of travel. Maybe that’s it but Gabriella has a sneaking suspicion that it’s more than that.
“Is there laundry?” Carina asks.
Gabriella points to a hamper behind the door.
“Grazie.”
Carina showers and changes and moves to ‘her room’. There is a little pile of things on the middle of the bed. A box of Italian chocolates, a little notebook, and a stuffed teddy bear.
“Questions?” Gabriella lurks behind Carina as she appraises the items on the bed.
“Thank you.” Carina turns around. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“I did but-“ Gabriella raises a hand in the air, index finger pointing up. “-it wasn’t my idea. I didn’t do it. Your fiancée called me.”
“Maya?”
“Unless you have another fiancée that I don’t know about.” Gabriella smirks. “Maybe you should call her.”
Carina thinks about the time difference. “She just got off shift. She’s probably sleeping.”
Gabriella laughs. “You’re so silly. Call her.” She leaves the room, leaving Carina to her call.
Carina picks up the small teddy bear and tucks it into the crook of her elbow. She picks up the phone with the other hand and calls Maya. It goes to voicemail. Carina thinks maybe she’s busy, or can’t get to the phone right away, or didn’t hear it ring. She opens the chocolates and has a few before calling Maya again. This time a Facetime call. She wants to show off her gifts. But again, it goes unanswered. Carina flops down onto the back dramatically.
“No luck?” Gabriella appears again. She’s just about to tuck in for the night.
“No.” Carina groans. “I feel-“ She flops her arms against the bad. “-crazy.”
Gabriella laughs, coming over to sit on the edge of the bed. She pats at Carina’s shin. “Blondie has you running circles in your head?”
“Something like that.”
“That’s a good thing.”
“Not for my head.” Carina narrows her eyes in Gabriella’s direction.
Gabriella gets up and starts to leave. “Tomorrow I’ll take you down to the hospital. Get some rest.”
Carina doesn’t know if she is going to be able to sleep tonight. It’s not even that late yet, but Carina knows Gabriella is just trying to give her some space. “Thanks.” She mumbles.
Carina tries Maya’s number again. It goes to voicemail again. She doesn’t want to bother Maya if she’s sleeping, but she would like to talk to her. She lifts the bear up above her head. “You need a name.”
She contemplates names for a while, but gives up after she doesn’t think of anything good. She is flipping through the little notebook when her phone starts ringing. She looks at the screen and her face breaks out into a smile.
She answers. “Ciao, bambina.”
“Hello.” Maya gasps. “Carina?”
“Yeah.” Carina panics a little at Maya’s gasps. “Why are you so out of breath? Is everything okay?”
“Oh.” Maya tries to calm her breathing. “I was running.”
“Oh, si.” That makes sense.
“I just got back and saw that you called. How was your flight? Did everything go well? Did Gabriella pick you up?”
“Bene and si.” Carina grins at the little bear. “Do you know what I’m looking at?”
“No. How would I know that?” Maya wonders.
Carina giggles. “A little teddy bear, a notebook, and chocolates. Maya.” She sighs Maya’s name.
“I know it’s not a fancy hotel or anything, but I wanted you to have something when you got there.” Maya goes into the kitchen and get a glass and some water. “I know it wasn’t much but I just thought-“
“Thank you, bambina. I love it.” Carina says with watery eyes. “I’ve been trying to think of a name for the little bear.
“He needs a name?” Maya asks between gulps of water.
“Or she.” Carina raises an eyebrow. “It’s really good to hear your voice.”
“Yours too, my love. And you are very welcome for the gift. It was really nothing. But I thought you could use the notebook to document your time there. In whatever way you want. If you just want to write down a few things a day or nothing at all. Or if you want to use it to vent and ramble. I thought it might be useful.”
Carina sighs. Maya really is so thoughtful.
When Maya doesn’t get a reply, she goes on. “Or you can use it however you want. Don’t listen to me. Make scribbles or doodles or I don’t know, a shopping list, whatever.” She’s second guessing her idea.
“I love it, bella. I love the idea. I will use it every day. I will write down everything I want to tell you. When I can’t talk to you. And even if I can.”
Maya yawns. “I like the sound of that.”
“Did you sleep at all last night?” Carina asks.
“Not really.” Maya shrugs. They had a house fire call at two am but before and after that Maya just laid in her bunk. “I was thinking about you and your flight.”
“You should sleep now.” Carina says. “I’m going to go to bed soon too.”
Maya hums. “Okay.” She tries to prevent another yawn, but can’t.
Carina chuckles. “Sleep.”
Maya walks back into the bedroom. “Oh.” She remembers what she was doing earlier, seeing the items on the bed again. “I wanted to talk to you about getting married.”
“I said yes.” Carina jokes.
Maya rolls her eyes. “Yes, but like, I looked up the procedure for a courthouse thing. We need two witnesses. And I don’t know how you want to do it, but I thought we could each pick one. So, I just wanted to let you know that and have you think about it.”
“You really were serious when you said you’d take care of everything.”
“Yeah.” When Maya says she’s going to do something, she does it.
“Okay, I’ll think about it. Who do you want to choose, so I don’t pick the same person?” Carina thinks she knows Maya’s answer already though.
“Andy.”
Carina hums. “Perfetto. Get some sleep. I love you.”
Maya takes a deep breath, letting those words absorb. “I love you, too, Carina. Bye.”
“Ciao, bella.” Carina makes a kissing noise and hangs up the phone. She looks at her little bear. “A witness, huh?”
When the crew brings up a wedding, it’s then that Maya starts thinking about it. She knows Carina is anti-marriage, but she has agreed to get married. Maya doesn’t want to push it though and suggest a wedding. That’s a whole other level. And if Carina doesn’t want to get married, she certainly doesn’t want a wedding. Right?
“How was your day?” Maya sets the phone down on her desk. “I have a meeting in a few hours. But I’m free until then unless we get a call.” They are trying to figure out times when they can talk to each other. The nine hour time difference isn’t helpful.
She rummages around in the papers on her desk, looking for her marriage clipboard. Maya has designated it as such and reserved it only for that purpose. Anything marriage related is in the notepad on that clipboard.
“It wasn’t too bad. I’m just getting started at the hospital, so I haven’t done much. Today I mostly was just helping with whatever, wherever.”
“Okay. Good.” Maya says distracted. “As long as you aren’t putting yourself in high risk situations-“
“Maya.” Carina scolds.
“Sorry. I know you are a professional. I just worry. You said it was worse there than it is here.” Maya finds what she’s looking for and starts going over her list.
“It is but-“ Carina frowns. They are on a Facetime call, but Carina can’t see Maya’s face. “I called you because I wanted to see your face, not the ceiling in your office.”
Maya picks up the phone at that. “Sorry.” She sighs. “I’m trying to multi-task.”
“Well, don’t.” Carina pouts. “I need to see those big blue eyes and that beautiful face.”
Maya gives Carina an apologetic smile.
“So, what are you working on that has you so distracted?” Carina smiles, letting Maya know that she’s not mad.
“We need two witnesses. Who do you want it to be?” Maya asks through the screen. She looks down at the paper that she has attached to her clipboard. She’s already brought up this topic the other day.
“That’s what you are working on?” Carina thought it would’ve been something fire station related.
“Well-“ Maya shrugs. “-I’ve been thinking about it.” She taps her pen against her notepad. “I made some notes.” She turns he phone around to show Carina the clipboard with the notepad on it.
“Is that a clipboard?”
“Yes.” Maya turns the phone back around, so Carina doesn’t get mad again about not seeing her face. “It’s my marriage clipboard.”
Carina grins. “I love you so much. You’re so adorable. A little bit dorky but so sooooo adorable.”
Maya frowns but doesn’t say anything about it. It’s not fair that Carina gets to make fun of her from so far away. Maya feels like she can’t properly argue back that she’s not adorable. “Well, it is, and I don’t want to ambush you with this- and I know that we decided on a courthouse marriage- Just going down and getting the paperwork handled and getting someone to marry us, but what if we didn’t.”
“Maya, what?” Carina shakes her head. “You don’t want to get married? If we don’t, I have to stay in Italy. What are you saying?”
“NO. NO. NO. No. No.” Maya panics. “That’s not- dear lord.” She has to take a few deep breaths. “What if we had a wedding?”
“Oh.” Carina hadn’t thought that was what Maya was going to say. She panicked there for a moment. “Bella, that sounds like a lot of work. And there are time restrictions, and we are in a pandemic, and I’m not there, and-“
Maya sighs. “Nevermind. Vic brought it up. And then Dean said we-“ She waves her hand in the air. “Everybody needs some joy. Something to celebrate. I just thought I’d run the idea by you, but I know you didn’t want to get married in the first place so we can just do the courthouse thing.” She sighs. Maya feels like this is starting to be a problem.
“Are you disappointed?” Carina asks. It’s a little harder to read Maya through a phone screen, but she thinks she hears disappointment in her voice, sees it on her face.
“Well, I had built the idea up in my head. So, maybe.” Maya looks out her office door as there is something happen out in the reception area. Andy and Jack are talking to a man that just walked in.
“Maya.”
Maya hums and looks back at the phone.
“I didn’t say no. It’s going to be a lot of work. And I don’t know how much I can help.” Those are Carina’s concerns. She’s half a world away. And when she comes back, they need to get married. If she’s not there to help with wedding planning then she thinks it’s going to be a lot of work and a lot of pressure on Maya. On top of everything else that she’s dealing with at work.
Maya wrinkles up her face.
Carina can see the disappointment on Maya face clearly now and changes her mind. “We should.”
“We don’t have to. I know you don’t want to.” She doesn’t want to pressure Carina into anything else. She doesn’t want to make her do anything that she doesn’t want to. She’s grateful that Carina agreed to get married. That’s enough for Maya.
“I never said I didn’t want a wedding.” Carina smirks a little. She never said anything to that affect. “I said I didn’t want to get married. That’s different.”
Maya stares at her through the screen in confusion. Carina chuckles. “Bambina, ti amo, tanto. And I’d do anything for you. If you want to have a wedding, we can have a wedding. I wasn’t going to bring it up though. And it sounds like you’ve been thinking about it. And your friends are all on board.”
Maya smiles in awe at her fiancée. “Really? You’d be alright with that? Because I don’t want to force you into anything.”
Carina shrugs. “It might be nice. Something that we can celebrate in all the awfulness that is happening in the world right now.”
“God, I love you.”
“That’s good since we’re getting married.” Carina teases. “You need help though. I can’t be there for everything. You need to get Vic and Andy and Travis to help you. Don’t do everything yourself. Okay? That’s the only way I’m agreeing to this.”
Maya nods. “Yeah.”
“So, no more courthouse marriage with two witnesses?” Carina smirks.
“I guess not.” Maya smiles. “I can’t believe this. Vic really wanted a lesbian firehouse wedding. Her words exactly.”
Carina laughs. “Vic would say that.”
“Her parents restaurant burned down.” Maya mumbles.
“Oh my gosh, Maya, when?”
“Last night.” She shrugs.
“Why didn’t you tell me, bambina?”
“Why add more crap to all the crap that’s going on.” Maya hates adding to the pile.
Carina sighs. She understands why Maya didn’t tell her. “You should have said something though. Can you tell her the next time you see her that I’m sorry?”
“Yeah.” Maya sighs.
“What else are you keeping from me?” Carina whispers. “Just because I’m far away doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear about your days or what’s happening at the station.” She says it in as light of a tone as she can. She doesn’t want Maya feeling like she’s mad or upset about it because she’s not. But wants to let her know that it’s okay to talk about the hard stuff, especially the hard stuff, while they are far apart.
“Nothing.” Maya says. That was the main thing that Maya didn’t mention. There’s still issues and tension with PD, but nothing has changed too much with that. It’s only been a few days since Carina has been gone but Maya feels like there’s a disconnect, like she’s struggling to deal with the distance. It’s just a nagging feeling.
Maya goes up to the beanery after her call with Carina. She needs more coffee. She brings her wedding clipboard with her. It’s been upgraded.
“Good news boys and girls.” Maya announces.
“Oh?” Travis asks.
“We’re having a wedding.” Maya grins. She just can’t keep the news to herself. “And I’m telling all of you because I, we, need your help.” She looks around at all of them. Her team all stares back at her in a little bit of shock, a little bit of awe. The only one missing is Vic. She wishes Vic were here. “I’m serious.”
Travis gets up and runs over, wrapping Maya up in a hug, spinning her around. “We got you, Cap.”
“So, Vic is out the rest of the week but as soon as she’s back I’ll ask if she would help. Everyone else is on board.” Maya tells Carina the next time they talk.
“Sounds good.” Carina yawns.
“Are you tired, love? We can talk about this some other time.”
Carina shakes her head. “No. Well, yes. But no, I want to talk to you. It’s the most normal part of my day. But if I fall asleep, you can’t blame me.”
Maya sighs, happy that Carina wants to talk to her. “So, Travis said he would do decorations, table decorations. The whole room. We need a theme.” Maya taps the tip of her pen next to the line on her notebook that reads ‘Wedding theme, color scheme’.
“Love.” Carina says, smiling with her eyes.
“Yeah?” Maya question.
“No, not you. The theme- love.”
“Oh.” Maya wrinkles up her forehead. “I don’t know- how is that-“
Carina chuckles. “We’ll think about it. And what do you think about colors?”
“I don’t know. I’m not one for lots of color. Something muted. I don’t know.” Maya shrugs.
“Bambina, your bedroom is pink and red.”
“Our. And only one wall is red.” Maya argues.
“And the curtains. And the pillowcases.” Carina bites her lip as she messes with Maya.
“You know those are my favorite pillowcase, sheet set. We do have others. They just match the room really well.” Maya rolls her eyes. She doesn’t know why they are discussing their room, that’s not the point. “It’s just something to think about. We don’t have to decide today.” She shakes her head. “But soon.”
“Well, I like the idea of red and pink.” Carina says.
Maya laughs. Maybe one of the first true, genuine laughs that she’s had since Carina left. “I miss you.”
“I’m right here, bella.”
Maya sighs. “No, you’re there. Not here.”
“I miss you too.” Carina whispers. “So so much.” She didn’t think she would miss Maya this much. It’s so much more than she’s ever missed anything or anyone. She misses Andrea but not in the same way. This is more of a whole body ache than a heartache. “I’ll be back soon.”
Maya hums, looking down at her lap, at her clipboard, for a moment before looking up again. She pushes forward. “What about food?”
“Si. I do have an answer for this one.”
“Oh, have you been thinking about it?”
Carina shakes her head. “No. But I know what it needs to be. I mean- you can have your input as well. But here, in Italy. A wedding meal is an absolute feast. A huge meal. Multiple foods, lots of courses, if you will. We need to have lots of food. That doesn’t run out the whole night. And lots of wine.”
“Of course.”
Carina knows exactly what they need to eat. Specifically, for the main course. “Ziti. And not baked ziti like in the US. Just ziti, the noodles, with a sauce.”
“Why?” Maya doesn’t think she’s ever heard of having pasta at a wedding. Then again, she doesn’t know anything about Italian weddings.
“Tradition.” Carina says and Maya smiles at her like she’s the greatest thing. Well, in Maya’s mind she is. But for the fact that Carina wants to bring an Italian tradition into their wedding. “In Italy, in Sicily, ziti is traditionally served at a wedding meal. In the Sicilian dialect, ziti is the plural form of zito, which means bridegroom, or like, fiancé, or to be married. Maccheroni di zita. Macaroni of the bride.” Carina smiles, big and proud.
Maya giggles and shakes her head. “That’s not what it means. It can’t be.”
“Would I lie?” Carina sits up a little in bed. “No.”
“Oh.” Maya lets the words sink in. “Okay.”
Carina giggles. “Okay. That’s it?”
“Well.” Maya nods. “How can I argue with that? But there will be other things to eat, yes?”
“Si. You pick. That was my only- what’s the word- request. That and cake.” Carina winks. “If we are having a wedding, there needs to be cake.”
“Okay, what other things are there to eat at Italian weddings?” Maya actually wants to know now. She’s been thinking about the whole ‘I have made no effort to learning your culture or your language’ thing.
“Ah, well, seafood. Especially in southern Italia. Shrimps, anchovies, tuna, bass, swordfish, octopus.”
“Octopus?” Maya gasps.
Carina laughs.
“We’re not having octopus.”
“Okay, bella.” Carina runs her hand through her hair. “There’s salads and appetizers. Hors d'oeuvres.” Carina thinks of what else there might be. “Pasta. Not always ziti, depending on the areas. It varies. Sorbet. Sorbet is a big one, I think.”
Maya writes the words ziti and sorbet on her paper.
“Are you writing this down?” Carina asks.
Maya nods. “So I don’t forget.”
“How are you going to forget?” Carina chuckles a little. It seems so silly that Maya would forget something like this.
Maya sighs. “There’s a lot going on.”
Carina rolls her head to the side. “I’m sorry, bella. But if this is too much you need to let me know. We don’t have to do all this. All that matters to me is that at the end of the day you and I are married. The details are-“ She waves her hand at the phone.
“I know. It’s fine. I’m fine. I just don’t want to forget anything. Or-“ She smirks a little. “Miss any details.”
“I love you.” Carina sighs.
“And I love you, my Italian queen.” Maya chews on her lip, unsure of how the words are going to hit.
“Maya.” Tears form in her eyes, her chin trembles a little, but Carina manages to hold it in. She takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Tell me about your family, or an American wedding dinner.”
Maya hums. “Depends on the area. And then on the family and their background. So probably it varies more than even an Italian wedding meal. I know a lot of people do starters or snacks. And then at the meal it’s a meat or two.”
“Two meats?”
“Lots do chicken, beef tips, even steak. Together. I suppose a Hispanic wedding would be different than that. I’ll have to ask Andy. Or any heritage or culture would be different. But I think a basic white person wedding is like meat and potatoes. I have heard of cheese ravioli for a vegetarian option at weddings instead of chicken or beef. A lot of people have the meal. Those things. And then later in the night, the cake is served. And then, even later, some people now have, like, a pizza bar or ice cream bar. Tacos maybe. Something fairly simple at the end of the night.”
“Wow.” Carina thinks about it. Some of that sounds like a good idea to her. “I do like tacos. And pizza.”
Maya laughs. “I know.”
“But if we have pizza it has to be the good kind. Not Americano.” Carina points a finger at the screen.
“Of course.” Maya smiles, happier than she thought she could ever be. Even with the distance, she feels it. That underlying happiest is always there.
Over the past week she feels like she’s been struggling a little. With the distance. She knows it’s not good to be so co-dependent, but Maya can’t shake the feeling that part of her is missing. She doesn’t want to talk to Carina about it though. She doesn’t want to get Carina worried about her. And she doesn’t want to bring the spirit or mood down. The situation is difficult enough. She doesn’t need to add more to it all right now.
But she knows if she isn’t able to shake the feeling then Maya is going to have to do something about it. Whether that’s mentioning it to Carina, or maybe Andy or Vic. The thought of calling up Dr. Lewis has passed through her brain once or twice. She’s someone that Maya could talk to where it wouldn’t be a burden on anyone else.