40. Chapter 40

“So, what do you have for me?” Maya asks without looking up from her paperwork as Vic enters her office.

Vic takes her time and sits down in one of the chairs across from the captain. She throws her feet up on the corner of the desk.

Maya looks up at that and glares over at Vic. Vic smirks and removes her feet from the desk, returning them to the floor. “My parents are remodeling the restaurant. The whole interior is brand new.”

“That’s great.”

“They want to reopen in a few weeks.” She’s trying to lead Maya to the conclusion herself.

“That’s a quick turnaround.” Maya hums. She wonders if she could rebuild her entire life in that time, six or seven weeks.

Vic smirks at her clueless friend.

“You wanted to talk to me about the venue.” Maya thinks they should get back to the topic at hand. She would like to be able to tell Carina that the venue is taken care of. It’s driving Maya crazy that they haven’t found a place and they are supposed to get married in just over two weeks.

There’s a little chuckle from Vic. “I am, you big goof.” Her smile beams as Maya slowly realizes what she’s saying. “Let’s do it at my parent’s restaurant. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner. I haven’t talked to them about it yet. But I think this would be perfect. They could use it as a sort of soft open, make sure everything is running smoothly in the kitchen, work out any kinks they have in serving or delivery of food, get all the grills and ovens and fryers, and all the appliances up and running. It’s going to be all new to them and they’ll need to figure out how everything works. I guess, there could be some hiccups on the day, but I wouldn’t expect it to be anything major. We can even do a test run the day before or something. But I really think this is the answer to our venue question.”

“Really?”

“I think it will mean a lot to them.” Vic nods. “Plus, just having people in their restaurant again will make them really happy. They truly love serving people.”

Maya thinks about it for a moment. Logistically speaking, it could be perfect. “It wouldn’t be too much?” She doesn’t want to be a burden to Vic’s parents.

“I don’t think so. But I will talk to them and let you know for sure.”

“I’ve been struggling to find a caterer on such short notice.” The relief she feels in this moment is more than Maya could have imagined. The wedding stress is starting to get to her. She doesn’t want to turn into a bridezilla or something.

“Oh, Maya. They’ve got the food. There’s no way they would have your wedding there and not have the food made there. Themselves. With their staff.” Vic sits forward, elbows on her knees.

“We need to have ziti. Not baked ziti. Just the noodles with sauce.” Maya remembers. She finds her clipboard. “And cake. Almonds as a starter snack. Sorbet.” These are the requirements and she has to make sure that they are all at the wedding.

“Carina?”

Maya nods. “Those are her requests.”

“I think I want a meat as the main dish. But I’m not sure. If they want to do this, I will get a menu together. Or they can do whatever other than the items Carina has requested.” Maya flips a few pages of page and starts writing information about the venue.

“It’s your wedding, you should choose. My mother can make just about anything. And if there is something she hasn’t made or doesn’t know she can follow any recipe on the planet. We got you.” Vic holds her arms open for a hug and stands up.

Maya blushes a little, ducking her head as she gets up from her chair. “Thanks, Vic.” She wraps her arms around her friend. “It means a lot.”

“How are you doing?” Vic asks as they pull apart.

“It’s hard. There’s a lot going on. I started going to therapy though.”

“Really?” Vic nods. “Good for you Maya.”

“It’s something I should have done a long time ago. It wasn’t until recent months that I realized I should. Or Carina helped me realize I should. But then I kept putting it off. And then the pandemic started, and then the PD stuff and issues, and then Andrew died. And then Carina was gone, but I think that actually helped. It made me; it gave me a reason. With her being gone.”

Vic hums. “Yeah, you got a lot going on.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know how you do it, Bishop. Hang in there. Things will calm down. Eventually.” Vic knows the issues with PD won’t be solved overnight, if ever. It’s all tied up in racial issues, so that part might not ever be ‘fixed’. At least not in the near future.

Maya decides to stay with Travis during the times she’s not at the station for the two weeks that she can’t go home. It’s the most difficult thing Maya has ever done. To know that Carina is home, to know that Carina is in their apartment, but to not be able to go there, to see her, to touch her, to kiss her, to hold her. So, she stays at the firehouse and works every shift that she feasibly can. Working extra shifts helps, it keeps her busy, and keeps the temptation at bay. Because that temptation is strong to just go home, and open the door, and screw the consequences. There’s been word in the medical community of a possible vaccine being ready in the coming months and Maya can’t wait for the day when they don’t have to make every single decision based off of Covid.

But they can talk on the phone, Facetime everyday now. Carina has plenty of time and Maya feels a little guilty that she’s spending all of her time working. She sends Carina funny memes or texts or a joke every morning. Something to get her to smile to start the day. After that, Maya requests an update on any symptoms.

She tries to pretend that Carina is still in Italy. That way she won’t feel as guilty, that way she won’t be as tempted, but it doesn’t work like Maya wants it too. Carina isn’t in Italy still, she’s in their apartment. It doesn’t help that Carina will be walking around the apartment, or laying in their bed, or cooking something in the kitchen. Maya has never wanted to be at home, doing nothing, so much in her entire life.

And it’s Carina who insists that they have to spend the entire two weeks apart. But it’s Maya that insisted that Carina stay in the apartment and not a hotel. She wanted Carina to feel at home. To be home. To not feel the isolation of a hotel.

Except for maybe one thing.

“I miss you.” Carina whines. “I’m here and you’re not.”

Maya chuckles. “You know the rules.”

“I feel like a prisoner in my own home.” Carina laughs.

“At least you aren’t in a hotel or something. It could be worse. Think on the bright side.”

Carina is spending her time reading, sleeping. She tries to stay active. She’ll walk laps around the apartment, do jumping jacks, she tried yoga (it isn’t something for her), push-ups, sit-ups, stretches. She stares at the bike that sits in their hall.

She wonders if she could go for a bike ride and not come into contact with anyone. She then wonders why they have a bike in their apartment. She’s never seen Maya ride it. She’s never even heard of Maya mentioning going for a ride. It’s just always been there. Sometimes it moves a little, like it gets shifted over during cleaning. But it’s never moved more than a few inches from that spot. Carina wonders if it holds some sentimental value for Maya.

“Have you thought about what you want to wear?” Maya is the one to ask. “Don’t tell me. But have you thought about it?”

Carina smirks. “All done.”

“What?”

They are on a video call. Maya lays in her bunk at the station, she exhausted but she needs to talk to Carina. Carina is laying in their bed. It’s late and everyone else at the station is in their bunks.

“I picked something out online, and ordered it, and it should be here tomorrow actually.” Carina smiles, more than pleased with the attire she has chosen for their wedding. Now, if she weren’t stuck in the apartment, it might have been a more difficult decision, if she were given the option to go out and choose and try on outfits. With the inability to do that, it made Carina pick something and have it shipped. She just hopes it will fit properly.

“Oh. Wow. Okay.” Maya is a little surprised by this. She hasn’t really known Carina to make a decision on an outfit so easily. She panics a little knowing that she hasn’t even started looking for something to wear. This isn’t one of those get an immaculate wedding gown sort of weddings, so Maya doesn’t feel any sort of pressure to get some sort of elaborate wedding gown. But she knows she needs to find something to wear. She finds herself wondering now what Carina has picked out to wear. “Can you describe your dress?”

Carina grins. “Not a dress, bella.”

“Oh.” Maya’s mouth hangs open in wonder.

“I thought you didn’t want to know.” Carina teases.

“Well-“ Maya tries to think of something to say. Anything that doesn’t make her sound dumb or like she’s just fantasizing about what Carina is going to wear. “-I don’t want us showing up in the same thing.”

Carina laughs.

“And it’s bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding.”

Carina hums. “Not a dress, and we are both the bride. Remember.” She wiggles her eyebrows. “Don’t tell me you believe in that silly tradition. Are you going to make us get ready separately and not be able to see each other before we- march down the aisle?” She wonders how everything is going to work out. They haven’t talked about it. They don’t even know what the space looks like yet. Once Carina is out of quarantine, they are going to see the space together and talk to Vic’s parents about everything.

“We can’t see each other. No.” Maya isn’t really one for superstition, but she must say that there are some wedding traditions that she would like to adhere to.

Carina tilts her head to the side to gauge if Maya is being truthful in this statement. When none of Maya’s tells show up after a moment Carina knows she is firm on this. “Okay, bella.” She nods, filing the info in her brain and the sentiment that Maya wants to keep around the ‘not seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding’. “Now have you asked Ben yet?”

Maya shakes her head. “No. I thought you would want to be here to ask him too.”

“Bella, we can’t wait until two days before.” Carina chuckles. As lovely as it is that Maya wants to include her in everything, they just can’t.

“I will talk to him in the morning.” Maya sighs.

“Call me and I can be on the phone.”

“Okay.” Maya huffs out a disgruntled breath.

“What’s wrong, bambina?”

Maya closes her eyes. It feels stupid. “I just wish things were different. And that you weren’t there, and I wasn’t here.”

“You have to work, Maya. That doesn’t change.”

“I know. I just-“ She doesn’t want to sound whiny or ungrateful. Maya knows it could be way worse. It’s just hard to connect preparing for a wedding with being separated from Carina. “I don’t want to be at work. I want to be with you.” It used to be such a foreign concept to Maya to put anything else above work, but now things have changed. Now it’s more that she doesn’t want to put anything else above Carina.

Carina takes her phone and sets it up leaning against Maya’s pillow in their bed. “There, I put you on your pillow. Close your eyes now and pretend that you are here. Pretend that you can feel my hand on your hip. Pretend that my knee is pinched between your thighs. My forehead pressed against yours, whispers sweet overtures to you. Leading to something perhaps a bit more sensual and even a bit naughty.” She tries to gauge Maya’s reaction. Maybe if she can get Maya to relax a little, her mood will improve. And maybe if she can get Maya to a little bit of dirty talk, she can get her to relax enough to where she can find a little sexual release. “Maya?”

Maya’s eyes remain closed.

“Did you just fall asleep on me?” Carina chuckles softly. She shakes her head. “I shouldn’t have had her close her eyes.” Carina watches Maya through the phone screen for a few minutes. It’s clear that she has succumb to sleep. “Ti amo, bambina.” She whispers before hanging up. Carina’s is starting to wonder if this is all too much for Maya.

Maya calls Ben into her office the next morning before their shift is over. They ask Ben to officiate, saying that they will pay the fee to get ordained. He holds a hand over his heart as tears start in his eyes. “Really?” He can’t believe it.

Carina hops into the conversation. “Since we’ve both worked with you. And since we both know you as a noble man, I don’t think there’s anyone better.’

“And because you’re the dad of the station.” Maya adds with a wicked smile.

“Bambina, I told you not to say that.” Carina scolds.

Ben shakes his head at these two fools. “It’s okay, Carina. It’s not the first time I’ve heard this.” He starts preparing right away. “How do you want the ceremony to go. Long, short?”

“As long as you say I now pronounce you wife and wife I don’t care what else you say.” Carina says.

He narrows his eyes at her. “Really?”

Carina nods.

“This isn’t some fancy thing that needs to be scripted word for word.” Maya adds, very much on the same page as Carina with this.

“Should I find some vows, have something prepared for you both to say or some people write their own?”

Maya likes the idea of writing her own vows. Something personal to add to the ceremony. Something that she can say to Carina to show her and all their guests how much she loves and cherishes her. How she’s looking forward to their future, whatever it holds.

“I like that idea. Writing our own vows.”

“Yeah, bambina?”

“Yeah.” Maya nods.

“Okay, lets do it.” Carina thinks that she won’t so much write something down but just speak from the heart on the day. But she knows Maya will write something down on paper.

“Great. I’ll get everything set up and then run it all by you guys. How’s that?”

“Perfetto.” Carina gives a thumbs up. “Grazie, Ben.”

“Thanks, Ben.”

“This will be a great privilege and honor for me. I should be thanking you both.” He bows a little in appreciation. “I’ll leave you to it.” He turns to make his exit to a round of goodbyes from the pair.

Maya gets her clipboard. “Okay, one more thing to check off the list.”

“You’re so adorable.” It could be annoying that Maya has to make lists, and keep notes, and meticulously plan every single aspect of everything about the wedding. But mostly, Carina just finds Maya’s strict need for order adorable.

They get into an argument when Carina asks if it’s too much work and stress for Maya to be basically doing everything for the wedding.

“It isn’t. I have to do it.” On many levels, Maya feels like she needs to plan and organize everything. “Because you agreed to get married.”

Carina sighs, hating that Maya thinks that, at least, in some part that Carina still doesn’t want to get married. Or that she’s doing it out of some sort of obligation, because of the visa or the paperwork. “Maya, I want to marry you.” She uses Maya’s name to let her know that she is serious and committed to this.

Maya rolls her eyes. “You’re just saying that now. If all this visa stuff didn’t exist. If everything wasn’t crazy and I asked you to marry me, would you have said yes?”

Carina hesitates, just for a split second, to think about the stupid question.

Maya scoffs. “See.” She proves her point.

Carina gets upset about that. Maya didn’t even let her say anything. How is that fair? “You can’t do that. You can’t put this on me.” Carina scowls. “You know I want to marry you. You know that, Maya. So don’t say that. Would I have said yes if you had asked me to marry you and there weren’t visa issues, and I didn’t have to leave the country. I honestly don’t know. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I didn’t believe in marriage though. That’s a fact.” She shrugs. “But I wanted to, want to, be with you for the rest of my life. Marriage or not. I don’t know why we are still fighting about this.” She runs her hand over her face in frustration.

Maya sits in her desk chair in her office, frowning. She’s not sure what she wants to say. She’s not sure why she picked this fight with Carina because deep down she knows what Carina just said is true. Call it fear, or paranoia, or her own distrust in herself, Maya’s own insecurities coupled with the stress. Of course, Carina is right that all this wedding stuff is stressing her out to her breaking point, because Carina knows her so well. And Maya feels like breaking, crumbling down under the pressure.

Seconds pass and neither of them say anything. Maya knows she’s not going to be able to avoid this forever but right now if she continues ‘talking’ about this she feels like she’s going to explode at Carina, and she doesn’t want that.

“I love you, Carina. I have to go though.” She sucks her lips into her mouth, so she doesn’t say anything else.

Carina sighs sadly but nods her head. “Okay. Bye.” She’s ready to be done with this stubborn conversation.

“Wait.” Maya says with alarm.

Carina raises an eyebrow. She thought Maya had to go.

“You have to say it.”

Carina rolls her eyes. “I love you.” She mumbles. “Anything else?” She says with disdain.

Maya shakes her head, suddenly feeling stupid with the way Carina is looking at her with a raised impatient eyebrow and a scowl.

“Bye.” Carina says and hangs up the video call.

Maya groans and throws her phone on the desk, it slides across the desktop and falls off the edge, clattering to the floor. “Fuck.” She pushes herself up from her chair and goes to change her clothes. Maya heads to the gym and gets on the treadmill to work out her anger and frustration. She’s mostly angry with herself. She’s anger that she’s falling into old patterns. She angry that she brought up a topic that they should be passed. But clearly, it’s still bothering Maya on some level.

Through her workout, the remainder of the morning, and all afternoon Maya can’t get Carina out of her head. Or the things she said to Carina. Accusing her of not getting married for the right reasons. Which the more that Maya thinks about it is such a dumb thing. There are many many circumstances and reasons people get married. Being in love and wanting to aren’t the only reason. And maybe Maya needs to stop thinking like that and broaden her mind to the different possibilities and not just what’s in front of her. Andy and Sullivan got married because Andy wanted her father to be there. And as far as Maya knows their marriage is going well. She knows they love each other, even if it is in their own ways. Maybe marriages can work where the main reason wasn’t just because they loved each other and wanted to get married.

And maybe that’s also one of Maya’s fears now that she’s forced to think about all this. What if, down the road, it doesn’t work? Or they fall out of love or grow apart. Maya rubs her hand over her chest at the thought. It physically hurts to think about something like that happening. She loves Carina with everything she’s got; so if that were to happen she knows it would totally destroy her. She sits at her desk and ponders the possibilities of their future together.

Do they continue living in the apartment? Do they buy a house one day? Do they have kids? Maya doesn’t think she can have kids, but she’s starting to wonder if that’s the one thing that will jeopardize their future. She knows they have to talk about it. She knows it’s not going to be an easy discussion, but Maya also knows that she doesn’t want to ruin Carina’s dream of having kids. If that’s what it is. If it’s truly something Carina wants. What is Maya going to do about it?

But those are all what if’s. And she’s never going to find out if she doesn’t do something now to change the way she’s acting. The therapy is helping but her thinking isn’t going to change in an instant.

She grabs the keys to the station truck and goes to find Andy.

As a way to apologize, Maya goes over to the apartment. Andy is in charge while she’s gone so she has to make this quick. It’s dinner time at the station so the crew isn’t going to miss her much, unless they get a call. In that case, she’ll have to run out of here and drive to the scene.

Letting herself in the building, she knocks on their apartment door, as strange as that is. All of Maya just vibrates to push that door open and step inside.

Carina scrambles, thinking one of their neighbors needs help. She puts a mask on and goes to the door. She’s not going to open it unless she absolutely has to. “Who is it?”

“It’s me. Don’t open the door.” Maya presses her cheek to the door. “I’m sorry that we argued.”

Carina smiles. She’s not upset or mad about it. People are going to disagree and argue. It’s normal. The only thing that bothered her was that Maya was still hung up on the reason behind them getting married.

“And I- I-“

“What bambina?”

“I needed to see you. It’s absolutely killing me.” She groans. “So, I have a mask on and I’m going to stand on the other side of the hallway. And I want you to open the door and then take a few steps back. Oh, and have a mask on.”

“It’s on.”

They are on day 10 of Carina’s quarantine. There have been no symptoms thus far, so Maya feels fairly confident that they are safe.

“Okay, I’m stepping back now.” Maya leans against the wall opposite their apartment door. And she’s glad that she is because as soon as Carina opens the door her breath catches and her knees get weak. Any front that Maya was putting on breaks in an instant so soon as she sees Carina from head to toe for the first time in almost six weeks. “I’m so sorry. I don’t want to be a pain in the ass. Or a bridezilla.” She scoffs. “Please, forgive me. I know you want to get married for real. I know that. I’m just so stuck in my own head sometimes. Making up stuff or negative situations because I can’t believe that I can be truly happy, that I deserve true happiness.”

“Oh, bambina. I wish I could hug you right now.” Carina reaches out her right hand.

“Me too.” Maya hangs her head.

“You deserve good things, Maya. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be married and have a family and be in love. All of it. You can have it. You can have anything you want. Anything you set your mind to.”

Maya nods simply. She just needed Carina to say it. She needed to hear it. “So, you’re not mad at me?”

“No, bella. Are you?”

“Mad at you? No.”

Carina smiles and Maya can see it in her eyes. “No, Maya. Are you mad at you?”

Maya hums. “Well, I spent an hour and a half in the gym this afternoon.”

Carina clicks her tongue. “You’ve got to stop punishing yourself like that.”

“I know. And I haven’t in a long time but then today I was- I came at you out of nowhere.”

“It’s not nowhere, bella. You are probably overtired, overworked-“ She tilts her head to the side. “-I know you’ve been working extra shifts. Overstressed about the wedding. Stressed about my quarantine and how I’m doing. You need to relax.”

Maya takes a deep breath. Carina is right about everything. “I know. I know.” It’s just not that easy for her. Before Carina, Maya didn’t rest. She never stopped to enjoy a day off. She never stopped so life wouldn’t catch up with her. She never rested because her father told her that rest was for the weak. “You’re right.”

“I usually am.” Carina smirks. “I love you, bambina. I can’t wait until the fourteen days are up. I can’t wait to marry you.”

Maya smiles, shyly. Carina can still get her with her sweet words. “I love you too. I can’t wait to get married.”

“How is your day going, otherwise?” Carina asks.

Maya shrugs as she stared at the brunette. Carina has a pair of leggings on and one of Maya’s button down shirts on with only a couple of the middle buttons done up, even though it’s August and hot outside. Though, Carina is inside completely, so it probably doesn’t matter to her that it’s hot outside. Maya thinks it looks extremely good on her. But then again, just about everything looks good on Carina. Maya thinks she could wears a plastic garbage bag and rock that look. “You look good.” She says like a big dummy.

Carina laughs. “You look good too, Captain.” She winks, always a sucker for Maya in uniform. Today is no exception.

“I’ve been trying to eat well. Take care of myself.”

Carina knows that isn’t always easy or automatic for Maya. “Good.”

Maya’s radio crackles. She reaches over and turns up the volume to hear the call. A fire at an assisted living facility. “I- I’m sorry.”

“Go, bella. My brave, strong fire captain. Go be a badass.” Carina sighs.

“I love you.” Maya says resolutely. “I love you so much.”

“I know. I love you, Maya. Now go.” She starts to close the door because she knows if she doesn’t Maya is going to continue to stand there. Maya waves as the door closes and she can see the grin behind Carina’s mask, it shines in her eyes. As soon as the door closes, Maya shifts and runs out of the building.

On day 14 Carina goes out and gets a test. She’s certain that it’s going to be negative, but she wants to make sure anyway. There were no covid symptoms at all in the 14 days. Which means two things, she’s been very vigilant, even at the hospital in Italy, to wear the appropriate protection. And two, she’s been lucky.

So, with a negative test, Carina heads to the one place she hasn’t been in such a long time. It feels like forever, really. She almost can’t remember the last time she was at the station.

She walks in the front door. Cutler is sitting at reception. She gives him a friendly wave. Carina doesn’t really know the guy, and other than exchanging polite hellos, they’ve never had a conversation. She looks to her left. She doesn’t see Maya or anyone in the captain’s office.

“They’re in the barn.” Cutler points.

“Thank you.” Carina smiles, even with a mask on. She heads into the barn.

She hears Maya barking orders as soon as she walks through the door. She grins and shakes her head. Lucky for her, as she enters the room, Maya has her back to her.

The first person to see Carina is Travis. He tries to pay attention to his boss as she runs through the newest equipment that the station has received to help fight fires, but a small smile tugs at his face.

Maya catches on to him not paying full attention. She needs her firefighters to pay attention and know how to use all their equipment or it could cost time and lives. “Travis.”

He snaps his head to attention. “Yes, Cap?”

“I would appreciate it if you paid attention.”

“I know.” He nods his head at the order. “But-“ He looks over in Carina’s direction briefly before finding Maya’s eyes again. This catches the attention of the rest of the crew that are standing on either side of Travis. They all glance over at Carina.

Maya sighs. “No buts Montgomery. This is important.”

“Captain.” Vic tries to step in.

“What? Don’t go defending his inattention. You both now I won’t stand for that.” She narrows her eyes at Vic.

“Maya.” Andy tries.

This totally riles Maya up. They are working, on the job, in the middle of a training session on equipment and Andy is using her first name. She’s starting to get the sense that she’s missing something. “What?” She says louder and stronger than she intends.

“You might want to turn around, Captain.” Carina says it.

Maya whips around faster than any of them have ever seen at the sound of Carina’s voice.

Carina walks over to her soon to be wife.

Maya stands there in shock. She saw Carina a few days ago, but this is different. She chews on her lip, nervously as Carina approaches her. The tears spring into her eyes as Carina gets closer.

Carina sees this. “It’s okay, bambina.” She whispers and wraps Maya in a tight hug. “I took a test. Negative.”

Maya sniffles, nods, and buries her face in Carina’s shoulder. She wraps her arms around Carina as tight as she can. “God, I missed you.” She whispers.

“I missed you too.” Carina says, louder than a whisper. She rubs on hand up and down Maya’s back.

There is a chorus on aww’s from the crew. Maya hides her face in the crook of Carina’s neck at that.

“Alright, guys.” Andy takes over. “We can finish this later.” She claps Maya on the back. “Everyone out.” She tells the crew. “Find something productive to do.”

The team disperses. Andy following everyone out of the barn.

“You almost got your ass chewed out.” Vic nudges Travis.

He raises an eyebrow, making a goofy face. “So did you.”

They both laugh.

“Bishop takes her demonstrations very seriously.” Jack adds. They all laugh.

“What are you doing here? I didn’t expect this.” Maya really can’t believe Carina is standing with her right now. It almost feels like a dream.

“Did you think that I could wait until tomorrow morning when you come home from work to see you?” Carina leans back so she can look in those big blue eyes that she adores so much. “As soon as the fourteen days were up, and as soon as I had a negative test, I was coming here. If you were out on a call I would have waited in your office. I would have waited hours and hours and hours to see you and hold you and kiss you.” At that, Carina leans in and gives Maya a soft kiss. “Don’t cry, baby.” She whispers as the tears leak out of Maya’s closed eyes. Carina wipes them away with her thumbs.

“No bambina?” Maya asks with a pout.

Carina chuckles lightly. “Come.” She reaches for Maya’s hands, finding them and taking a step back.

“Where are we going?”

Carina wiggles her eyebrows.

Maya gulps at the thought of some alone time with Carina.

Carina tugs Maya to her office and right into the bunk room. She sits down on the bed and Maya comes to stand between her legs. Maya reaches out, taking Carina’s face in her hands, staring into her warm caramel brown eyes. Carina smiles her warm, soft, happy only for Maya smile up at Maya and rests her hands on Maya’s hips.

When Maya smiles just the littlest bit, Carina slips her hands around to Maya’s back, tugging the tiniest bit. Maya gets the clue and lift her right leg and presses her knees into the mattress on Carina’s left side. She does the same with her other leg until she’s sitting in Carina’s lap. It’s a little surprising to Maya. Then again, she didn’t think she would be seeing Carina until tomorrow morning. This little afternoon visit is very much a surprise.

Her hands slip to the back of Carina’s neck, fingers pressing against the vertebrae in her spine one by one working their way up until her fingers are splayed in Carina’s hair. She runs her fingers through the hair, extending all the way to the ends, rolling some between her fingers. Her eyes shift from Carina’s to look over at her fingers in Carina’s hair. “I love your hair.”

Carina laughs, full. “Bambina.” She leans back, pulling Maya with her until they are both laying on the bed.

Maya settles at Carina’s side, one leg thrown over Carina’s. “I love your hair. I’ve missed it. I love your hair and your eyes. I love your smile, these lips.” Maya runs her thumb over Carina’s lips. “I love everything about you. And I’ve missed everything about you.”

“Just my body or-“

Maya hums. “Well, mostly everything. And not just your body. But that’s amazing. And not being able to touch you or hold you these last six weeks has been awful.” She puts her hand on Carina’s opposite hip, pulling until Carina moves to lay on her side. “But that doesn’t have anything to do with how your body looks.” She wraps her arm around Carina, pulling them flush together and closing her eyes at having Carina this close again.

“You’re so romantic, bella.” Carina teases lightly.

“Shut up.” Maya sighs. “You know what I mean. Just to be able to look at you, touch you, feel you, hear you, hold you in the same space is something I didn’t know was something that I needed. Or could feel like I was missing. I know what it’s like to miss someone when they are away, or you don’t see them for a while. But this, here, is not that. This is more.”

Carina leans her forehead against Maya’s never breaking eye contact. “Don’t worry. I feel it too.”

“Yeah?” Maya asks, optimist that Carina understands her silly rambles.

“Si, bambina. I crave to be close to you, to hold you, to lay with you, to smell the scent that is uniquely you, to look into those deep deep blue eyes. That’s why I’m came here to surprise you. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. I know that was the plan, but Maya six weeks is a long time to not be able to do all those things.” She tangles her fingers in Maya’s hair behind her ear, scratching lightly at her scalp. “I feel relief being here, in your arms. Do you know how scared I was when the possibility of me not being able to stay in this country with you arose? I was terrified. And that stayed with me the entire time I was in Italy. That fear. That stress. So, to be back here I feel like I can breathe normally again. That stress and anxiety and fear is gone. This is where I belong. I feel it in every bone, muscle, fiber of my being.”

Maya sighs, closing her eyes, taking in the words. “I’m so sorry, Carina. So sorry you had to feel all that.” She snuggles a little closer to the brunette. “Six weeks is too long. Let’s not do that again. Promise?”

Carina giggles and presses her lips to Maya. “Okay, I promise.”

“I wish we could lay here like this all day.”

“Just lay here?” Carina questions.

“Yes.” Maya is serious about that. She knows what Carina means. “As much as I want to make love to you, I want this more. And here and now are not the place for that. I’m gonna to need hours and hours and hours of you without any clothes on.”

“That sounds perfect, bella.” Carina kisses her again. “Only if you, also, do not have any clothes on.” This time Maya kisses her back with eagerness.

“Tomorrow.” Maya mumbles against Carina’s lips. “When I’m done with work.”

“Can I give you hours and hours and hours of orgasms?” Carina whispers.

Maya sighs. “I would love to say yes, but I’m not sure I can handle hours and hours and hours. But yes maybe one or two or three.”

“Or four or five or six.” Carina giggles.

Maya starts laughing too, feeling giddy and childish now. “Or maybe I’ll be the one giving you four or five or six.”

Carina laughs. “The number doesn’t matter, bella.” She starts pressing kisses all over Maya’s face. “I love you so sooooo much.”

“I love you even more.” Maya cheeses. “Will you stay here for a little while?”

“I’ll stay here as long as you want or until you need to go.” Carina whispers.

“You’re so beautiful. And stunning. I think I missed that too.”

Carina chuckles. “You are very sweet.”

“Like I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to how beautiful you are. Maybe I took that for granted before. But since you’ve been gone- you’ve got the most beautiful soul, the most beautiful presence. I’m not just talking about physical beauty.”

Carina gets a little shy at that. This isn’t something they’ve ever talked about. “Bambina.” She tucks her head under Maya’s chin, against her chest. “I don’t know what to say.”

Maya smirks. “You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to make sure I told you that. And that I appreciate you.”

“I’d marry you right now if I could.” Carina whispers and looks up. Maya’s eyebrows are raised at that statement. “Can we not fight about the timing of us getting married anymore?”

Maya shakes her head. “You won’t hear anything else about it from me.” She runs her index finger and thumb across her lips, zipping them shut. “That was my own self-doubt talking.”

“You are strong and smart and brave. And complicated. And full of tons of complex emotions. And I love that about you. I love seeing you start to tap into that. It makes you a better person, a better captain, and a better wife.”

Maya bites her lip. “I’m not your wife yet.”

“Just a few days, bella.”

Maya sighs. She’s happy that it’s only a few days. “But there’s so much to do yet.”

“And we will tackle all of that tomorrow and the day after. Don’t worry about it today. One day at a time.”

“That’s what Dr. Lewis says.” Maya smirks.

“Cuz she’s right. And so am I. Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Not today.” Carina runs her hand up and down Maya’s arm before tangling their fingers together. “No more talking.” She whispers.

“Yes, ma’am.” Maya grins. She’s more than happy to just lay her in silence with Carina, them exploring each other quietly, reigniting that silent love language that they have developed, that is hard to attain over the phone. They lay there for about forty minutes, until a call comes in and Maya has to actually go do her job.