44. Chapter 44

They get home and Maya pulls her heels off as soon as she’s in the door, leaving them there to deal with another time. She can’t be bothered to organize them or put them away right now.

Carina goes into the kitchen and gets two glasses of water, bringing one over to Maya. “Here, bambina. Drink.”

Maya eyes the water and then Carina. Carina tilts her head to the side and nods. Maya takes the glass with a huff and downs the whole thing. Carina smirks a little at Maya proving her point. Maya hands her back the empty glass and slips past Carina into the bedroom.

Carina’s not sure what kind of mood Maya is going to be in. She knows sad but other than that she’s not sure. She expects there to be anger at some point, whether that’s tonight or not, she doesn’t know. She sets the empty glass on the table and follows Maya into the bedroom.

She shakes her head when she enters. Maya is reaching around trying to get to the zipper on the back of her dress, but it’s sticking. She’s got it started but can’t get the zipper any further. “Let me.” Carina whispers.

Maya stops and turns around to look at Carina. She watches Carina walk towards her. She watches as she slips by her; fingertips brushing against her stomach as she moves. She watches as she sets her glass of water on the nightstand. And then as she comes back. The movement of Carina’s index finger as she twirls it in a little circle.

“Girati bella ragazza.”

Maya sighs. Carina always gets her with the Italian. She spins around, baring her back to Carina. She feels the delicate fingers grip at the zipper and then it is being pulled down. Maya sighs as the fabric loosens.

“How’d you get in this thing?” Carina asks in awe as her hands caress Maya’s hips over the skintight fabric.

Maya comes close to a chuckle but not quiet. “There’s a clasp at my neck.”

Carina sweeps Maya’s hair out of the way, and she sees it. Instead of undoing it, she moves around Maya so she’s in front of her. Arms then come up and reach for the clasp, unfastening it, letting the fabric fall. She puts her right hand on the back of Maya’s head, giving it a light scratch. Maya closes her eyes at the contact.

Carina’s left hand finds Maya’s hip as she surveys Maya’s face. The blonde is tense, her jaw clamped shut, her forehead wrinkled a bit, nostrils flared like she is holding something in. Carina knows she’s holding something or lots of something’s in. She shifts, taking a step back, looking at more of Maya now that she can see her. The top part of the blonde’s dress is flopped down revealing her boobs.

“So, that’s how you got these kitties in that dress?” Carina smirks, cupping Maya’s breast, running her thumbs over the pasties that cover Maya’s nipples.

She opens her eyes, sighing at Carina’s hands on her. “Puppies.” Maya shakes her head, looking down. She points at her crotch. “The kitty is down here.”

Carina grins. “I know, bella, I know. I’m just goofing you.”

Maya only hums in return.

Carina turns around, pointing over her shoulder at her back. Maya nods and pulls down the zipper on Carina’s jumpsuit. The brunette steps out of her outfit and turns to Maya. “I’m going to wash my face.” She runs her fingertips across Maya’s collarbone as she steps passed her.

Carina sighs as she looks into the bathroom mirror. She thinks about the day and Maya and what happened with the chief. She wants to talk with Maya about it, but knows that Maya probably doesn’t want to talk about it. She thinks about what she can do instead. What she can do to help the situation.

Maya then, wordlessly, goes into the bathroom when Carina is finished, having taken her dress off. She comes back and Carina is sitting on the end of the bed waiting for her. Carina tucks her finger into the front of the tiny white thong that Maya is wearing. “You were very beautiful today.” Carina whispers.

Maya hums and shakes her head. “I’m not in the mood.”

“I know.” Carina chuckles a bit. “I’m not trying to sex you right now.”

“Sex me?” Maya raises an eyebrow.

“Si.” Carina grins. “I just need you to know how beautiful you are, and were, today. Your dress was amazing. Your hair and makeup.” She reaches up with her other hand, putting it on Maya’s cheek. “Now you’re turn.” She smirks.

Maya looks down at the strapless bra that Carina is still wearing. “You are always beautiful, today was no exception. Your suit was very-“ Maya looks across the room at it, where it lays on the chair. “-perfect.”

Carina is more than satisfied with that. “I know you’re not in the mood but can I, at least, have a kiss.”

Maya smiles softly. “Of course.”

They meet for a soft slow kiss, relaxing in the easy feeling of the other’s lips.

“It’s alright tonight. I’ll let you fuck me tomorrow.”

Maya stares at her with her mouth hanging open. “You’ll let me?”

Carina nods with a grin.

Maya rolls her eyes and shakes her head. She holds out her hands, palms up. Carina puts her hands in Maya’s. Maya tugs, lifting Carina from the end of the bed. They move over to the side and Maya puts a knee on the mattress first, crawling into bed as she throws the blankets back at the same time. She lays on her side and waits for Carina.

Carina takes her strapless bra off before getting into bed, knowing that Maya is watching her every move. She lays down facing Maya, brushing Maya’s hair away from her face, tucking her fingers behind Maya’s ear. “I love you.” She whispers wanting Maya to know. She knows Maya knows, but just as a reminded. A reminder that no matter what happens she will love Maya.

“Come here.” Maya tries to wrap her arm around Carina and pull her closer, but Carina holds her hand out, pressing it against Maya’s stomach. She questions Carina with a wrinkle of her brow.

Carina slips her hand up Maya’s side, over her ribs, cupping her breast. “Let’s take these off.”

Maya looks down at the pasties covering her nipples. She forgot they were there. “Oh.”

“May I?” Carina’s fingers dance on the side of Maya’s boob.

Maya closes her eyes. “Y-yeah.” She sighs.

Carina works diligently to free the nipples. She kisses Maya’s cheek when she is done. She wants to do so much more than just kiss Maya’s cheek. She wants so much more than to use careful fingers across supple breasts. But Carina restrains herself and wraps her arm around Maya, finally giving Maya what she wanted earlier. To be held.

Carina wants to talk about the day. About their wedding. About the surprises. About the lack of vows. About the interruption towards the end. “Do you want to talk about today?”

Maya shakes her head, rubbing her cheek against the pillow.

Carina presses a kiss to her forward. “Can I just say something?”

“You can say whatever you would like.” She’s not trying to censor Carina in any way.

“Today was wonderful. And it was perfect up until that email. I want you to know that today isn’t a total loss in my opinion.” Carina tells her softly.

Maya groans. She feels like it’s such a loss. Like she lost so much. But then she’s got Carina wrapped around her right now and she feels like she won with that. And maybe the loss and the win even out?

“Thank you. You shouldn’t have had to put up with all the crap that happened today.”

“I shouldn’t?” Carina leans back to look into Maya’s eyes.

Maya shakes her head. “No, you shouldn’t.”

Carina smirks like she has a big secret that she’s about to clue Maya in on. “Well, whether I shouldn’t or not- that’s what I signed up for. Si? What’s all that traditional crap- in sickness and in healthy, for better or for worse.”

“Vows.” Maya sighs. She messed that up too today. She had something planned for vows. She forgot to write them down, and finalize them, and perfect them, and memorize them, but she had a general idea of what she wanted to say.

“Carina, my love, what I have discovered with you, I didn’t know that existed. I didn’t know a person could feel this way. I didn’t know I could love another person so much. I didn’t know that I could love myself. You have shown me so many things about myself, and about life, and about love. And I hope that I have, at the very least, been able to show you at least something in return. What we have is real, and true, and honest, and something that I never could have imagined for myself. You are the most wonderful, beautiful, all around amazing person I’ve ever met. I hope to be able to always give you the love that you give to me. It’s not perfect, but it’s ours. It’s our love. It’s our story. And I want to keep adding chapters to that story all my life. I love you and I choose you. Forever.”

“Maya.” She breaths out the name. She cradles Maya’s head in her hand, resting her forehead against the blonde’s. “Can I tell you mine?” Maya nods against her.

“Maya Bishop. Captain Maya Bishop. How you introduced yourself when we first met. I was impressed just by the title. But then I got to know you, I got to see you, and I was even more impressed and blown away. And we spent so much time in bed at first. Which I was fine with me because what’s a little fun among friends but that changed for me quicker than I expected. I fell in love with you, hard. So hard. And there was no separating friends and lovers anymore. I didn’t tell you because I could see you were scared, and you were dealing with so much. But I loved you. I love you. I’ll always love you. Nothing will ever change that. And the love and care you have for me is something I’ve never gotten before. I will cherish it everyday of the rest of my life, our life together. Me and you, bambina. Me and you.”

Maya breaths out a long breath. “Were you really going to say all that at the wedding?”

“I was going to speak from the heart. I had nothing prepared or planned. So, technically I don’t know what exact words would have come from my lips.” Carina smiles a little.

“Oh, okay.” Maya grips at Carina’s back, holding her tighter. “No more talking.” She’s done, absolutely spent.

Except, Maya can’t sleep. So, an hour or so after Carina falls asleep, she gets out of bed, taking her pillow with her, and goes to lay on the couch. She pulls the couch blanket over her legs and stares up at the ceiling through the dark. She feels so exhausted and so restless all at the same time. All she can think about is the chief and how she lost her job. Her rank as captain. It’s like it just disappeared into thin air.

Maya wonders if it was all a dream. A, too good to be true, dream that she’s been living and that she’s going to wake up tomorrow and it will all be gone. She’ll be sat in her parent’s house after returning from the London Olympics as her brother packs his things and leaves. And she doesn’t do anything to stop him because he told her not to and because she feels extremely guilty for the situation that Mason is in. Her apartment will be gone. Her career as a firefighter gone, let alone her role as captain. Andy and Vic and Travis, her whole team, gone. Her wife, Carina, gone. It’s a lonely feeling that she has in the darkness tonight.

And for the first time in a long time, she thinks about those clouds. About how soft they are. How nice they would feel if she could just reach out and touch them or lay on them. How nice it would feel to be free from all the crap in her life. To not have to face it or deal with it. So, for a little while she thinks about the clouds and how death could release her from her problems. Except…

The minutes tick by and then the hours. Maya knows she should be in bed. She knows she could be. But she can’t bother Carina. The woman should, at least, be able to get a peaceful night of sleep on her wedding night without Maya tossing and turning next to her.

She wants to run. That’s where the restlessness comes from. Maya’s legs want to run. She wants to get up, and put a pair of running shoes on, and go run for hours through the darkness and the streets of Seattle. But Maya stays put on the couch. She curls onto her side, her spine pressing against the back of the couch.

She hears Carina before she sees her. She hears her wife get out of bed. She hears her go to the bathroom. And she hears when the door opens and her bare feet pad across the apartment floor in her direction.

Carina squats in front of the couch. She puts a hand on Maya’s arm. Her eyes finding Maya’s as soon as she’s down on her level. Maya stares at her with sad eyes. “What are you doing out here?”

“I didn’t want to disturb you.” Maya tells her weakly.

“Have you slept at all?” Carina runs her hand over the side of Maya’s head, over her hair. The shake of Maya’s head is so small that, if Carina blinked, she would have missed it. “Okay.” Carina stands up and Maya wonders for a moment if that’s going to be it. Carina didn’t ask any other questions. Carina didn’t push her to say something she wasn’t ready for. It’s not very Carina-like. But then Carina is turning and sitting. “Scoot back, bella.” Maya tries to sit up as Carina sits between where her knees are and her elbows lay on the couch cushions. Carina puts a hand on Maya’s arm, guiding her to lay back down gently. Maya looks up at her with questioning eyes. “Scoot back.” Carina whispers and then moves to lay down in front of Maya. She settles and then reaches for Maya’s hand. “Now, put your arm around me.”

Maya lets herself be guided by Carina until they are laying on their sides with Maya curled around Carina from behind.

“What do you want to do now?” Carina asks.

“What do you mean?” Maya rubs her nose in Carina’s hair, taking in her unique scent.

“Right now. If you could do one thing, what would it be?”

A few options flash through Maya’s mind. Talk to the chief. Though, that didn’t work the first time. Go to the station, to her office. Or her former office. She suddenly thinks about getting up and going to clean out her office. Her legs move, shifting.

“I want to run.” She whispers.

Carina tenses at the words.

“Physically. I want to run.” Maya explains. “I want to go down to the firehouse.” She sighs. “I’m sorry.” Maya places a kiss to Carina’s head. “This isn’t how it should be. Today. Tonight. I’m sorry I can’t be happy. I’m sorry I can’t make you happy.”

Tears spring to Carina’s eyes. She gets up. Maya lets her go. She knows she blew it tonight, but there’s just so much going on that she can’t even fake being happy around Carina. They should have come home and got into bed and made sweet, sweet post-wedding love, but that didn’t happen.

She watches Carina for a moment as she just stands there. Maya thought she would just leave, go back to the bed, and leave her there until morning. That’s what Maya wants. To be left alone. That’s why she came out to the couch. To be alone. Alone with her thoughts. Alone with her feelings. In addition to not disturbing Carina, of course.

Carina watches Maya, her head tilted to the side slightly. She licks her lips, makes a decision, and kneels on the floor with one knee. She lifts Maya’s top arm and wiggles herself between Maya’s arms.

“What are you doing?” Maya wonders, though, she doesn’t stop Carina’s movements.

Carina doesn’t say anything though. She moves her legs until she has one knee between Maya’s knees. She cuddles into Maya’s chest, wrapping her arm around Maya’s back, holding onto her tightly. “I won’t stop you. If you want to go.” Carina sniffles, trying not to cry. “But hold onto me for a while before you do.”

Maya wraps herself tighter around Carina, holding on as tight as she can, trying to usher away Carina’s sadness. “I won’t.” Carina shakes her head against Maya’s collarbone. “I won’t go. I can’t do that. I won’t do that to you.” They both know what Maya is referring to. They both are thinking the same thing; thinking about how Maya ran to the station after their fight about her dad.

“That was my place.” Maya confesses. “The station. It was my place. My safe place. I started my career there and I spent so much of my time there. That was my whole life for the longest time. It was where I was most comfortable. It was where I felt safest. For the longest time. So, when something would happen outside of work, I would go to the fire station, and I would be there. I would work out in the gym or, I would stack firehoses, or I would wash and polish the trucks. It’s how I got to know that station up and down, and inside and out. I spent so much of my time there. When anything bad happened or something wasn’t going my way; I went to the station and I felt safe, protected, comfortable, around my people. They’d always think it was weird that I spent my off time there, but I needed to be there, so I didn’t do something stupid, something to destroy my life. I had to keep busy.”

Carina nods. It makes sense. It’s such a Maya thing to do.

“So, when we fought about my dad. I went there. There was so much else going on, but that was where I ended up, out of habit, and felt like I needed to be. I want to go there now, but not for those reasons. I want to run to do something with my body and this restlessness that I feel. I want to go to the station because I will have to clean out my office at some point. The cover of darkness, tonight, before word spreads of my firing, feels like the perfect time to me. But I won’t. I won’t go there now. I won’t run. Even though I want to.”

Maya takes a deep breath before the next part. “Because I need to be here. With you. And as much as I didn’t want to disturb your sleep and be in bed with you tonight this is my safe place now. You, our bed, our bedroom. That’s where I feel safest now.”

“Maya?” Carina raises her head and looks up at Maya.

“It’s complicated.” She has a pinched, pained look on her face.

“That doesn’t sound complicated at all.”

“What?” Maya shakes her head. “Really?”

Carina nods. “I get it.”

“Oh. Yeah?”

Carina nods. “Yeah.”

Maya hums. Carina has always understood her and what she was trying to say better than anyone else.

“Can I coax you back to bed now?” She reaches up and scratches her fingernails against the back of Maya’s head.

“You should go. You should sleep. I’ll stay here. I know I won’t sleep at all tonight.” Maya tries to get Carina to go back to sleep. She doesn’t need to be awake for no reason.

“Then I’ll stay here too.” Carina lays her head back down on Maya’s pillow. Maya opens her mouth to protest; but Carina kisses her so she doesn’t say anything. “I’m staying where you are.”

Maya sighs. Everything might be crap, but she has Carina. And Carina’s not going to let her implode on herself. “I fucking love you so much.”

Carina giggles a little. “I also love you so fucking much.”

“I like when you swear in English. It’s cute.” Maya manages a tiny smile.

Carina grins. “I know you do.”

“I’m sorry our wedding night was so shit.” Maya sighs.

“I’m sorry it was shit too.” Carina nuzzles her nose against Maya’s before kissing her. “But we’ll make up for it.”

“Oh?”

Carina nods. “Yeah. It’s not perfect but I got to marry you. That’s the part that really mattered.”

Maya closes her eyes. “It is.”

“Bambina, lets go back to bed. You’re going to have a kink in your neck or back in the morning and I don’t want that.” Carina pleads.

“Okay.” Maya isn’t going to argue with that. “You know just how to take care of me.” She’s beyond grateful for the woman in her arms.

“Si, bambina.” Carina untangles herself from Maya and shuffles off of the couch, holding her hand out to help Maya up. “I will take care of you every day until we are old and wrinkly and grey.”

Maya chuckles a little at that.

“There’s that brilliant smile that I love so much.” Carina grins at her wife.

Maya grins bashfully, Carina’s smile making her smile, as Carina tugs her along to the bedroom.

Carina wakes up in the morning. The bed is empty. She’s not surprised by that at all. Disappointed, yes. Surprised, no.

She goes out into the kitchen. The smell of coffee enticing her. She rubs the sleep from her eyes. Carina doesn’t see Maya anywhere in their apartment. She does find a note on the little island, though.

I ran went to the store. I’ll be back shortly.

Carina smiles at the little note and works on getting a cup of coffee for herself.

She’s sitting in one of the chairs in the living room, her feet tucked up underneath herself, when Maya comes through the door.

Maya sets the four bags of food on the floor and lets out a groan, shaking out the pain her hands from the weight of the bags.

“Are you planning on feeding a navy?” Carina smiles.

Maya whips around to face Carina. “You’re awake.” She looks back at the groceries on the floor. “Sorry, I wanted to get back before you woke up. But, uh, I didn’t make it.” She rubs her hand against the back of her neck and looks back to Carina.

“But, you left a note.” Carina reminds Maya just how thoughtful she was, even if she didn’t get back before she awoke.

Maya shrugs. “Just in case.” She’s a bit frazzled. Lack of sleep is a factor, but so is the situation with her job, and the situation with her mother. “I’ll put all this away.” She turns back to the groceries and brings them into the kitchen.

Carina gets up from her chair as Maya starts pulling items from the bags, and organizing them, and putting them where they belong in the kitchen. She goes over and stands on Maya’s left side, placing her right hand on Maya’s right hip. “What is all this for, bella?” It’s an innocent question. They weren’t in desperate need of groceries.

Maya nods. “Us.” She breathes out shakily.

“When are we going to eat all of this?”

Maya shrugs and then sighs; her shoulders sinking as she deflates.

“This is weeks’ worth of food.” Carina isn’t accusing her of anything. She just wants to point it out, in case Maya hadn’t realized.

“I’m sorry.” Maya mumbles. She knows some of the fresh food that she bought might go bad before they can eat it. “I’ll freeze some of this.”

“Okay. I do have one question though.” She looks over at Maya’s profile. “Why?”

Maya shakes her head. “I don’t know, Carina. I just thought- I don’t know what I thought. I thought since I’m suspended, or fired, or whatever I’ll have time to be at home and I’ll need to eat; and I can cook for you.”

Carina hums. “That’s very kind of you, Maya. But do you not expect to go back to work?”

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. I stepped down, but I don’t know what that means. Am I suspended until the investigation is done and, thus, can’t go to work? How long is that going to be? Am I suspended for a period of time and then can go back to work, even if the investigation isn’t over? When I do go back to work, is it as a lieutenant, a firefighter, a probie? I don’t know. I have to wait to see what the chief says. And you know how well I do with waiting.” Maya gestures at the groceries. “So food.”

Carina smiles softly. She squeezes Maya’s hip. “Patience is not your- how do you say-“ She can’t recall the word.

“Forte. It’s not.” Maya agrees. “So-“ She waves her hands at the food on the counter again. “-I bought all this. I’m taking a page out of your playbook.”

Carina expected anger, or denial, or demanding of answers from Maya but not this.

After breakfast, Carina asks Maya if she wants to go down to the station. She says she’ll go with if that’s what Maya wants.

They go down. C shift is on right now. Maya says hello to some of the crew as they walk in. A few of them congratulate Maya and Carina on getting married.

“I thought you were off for a few days, Cap?” One of them asks.

Maya was going to take two days off after the wedding to spend with Carina before both of them had to go back to work.

“Just stopping by for a bit.” She raises her joined hand with Carina. “Had to show off my new wife.” She jokes and pulls Carina along, not interested in small talk, or any talk for that matter.

Maya sits heavily in her desk chair. Carina comes around to the back of the desk and leans against it, facing Maya, she puts a hand on her wife’s shoulder. “What do you want to do?”

Maya wants to run, still. But she knows that what she’s going through is nothing compared to what some people are going through on a daily basis. It could be so much worse. She’s got her friends and her wife. Her amazing, kind, caring wife who deserves all the love and happiness in the world. Instead, they are in Maya’s office cleaning it out on the morning after they got married. They should be indulging. They should be holed up somewhere without any clothes on in a sex haze. They should be on a honeymoon.

Maya thinks of all the things she wanted to do with Carina at the station while she was in charge. Like cooking a big Italian feast. They haven’t done so yet because of Covid and everything else but she wanted to invite the community, show off her wife. There was sliding down the firepole, in secret, of course. Sex in the captain’s bunk. She knows she tainted that at some point but maybe one day it could’ve happened. Or going up to the roof at night to see the city lights.

None of those things can happen now.

“Jack’s going to be in charge now.” She scoffs. “At least on an interim basis.” Maya wonders if anyone knows that Andy got transferred. As far as she knows, Andy didn’t mention it at all last night after they got back to Kaminski’s. She looks at the hand on her shoulder. She reaches up and squeezes it. “I’ll be right back.” She stands and goes to the storage room to retrieve a box before coming back.

She starts to pack up all her things as Carina sits in the captain’s chair. Carina watches as Maya moves about the room. She thinks about saying something but doesn’t and lets Maya do her thing.

Maya sighs and hangs her head when she comes to it.

“What’s wrong, bella?”

Maya doesn’t feel beautiful or pretty or whatever other adjective Carina wants to throw at her. She spins around holding the box with her medal in her hands. It hasn’t felt the same as it used to. The medal. It used to fill her with tremendous pride but since she’s dug into her relationship with her father it feels different.

“Ah.” Carina nods. “Bring it here?”

Maya and the gold medal cross the room. She hands it over to Carina. She watches as Carina runs a finger over the cold metal, a fond smile on the Italian’s lips.

“I’ll have to put it in my new bunk. If I have a new bunk.” Maya looks over to the captain’s bunk.

Carina looks up from the box in her hands and sees Maya looking across the room “You could bring it home.”

Maya slowly turns her head back to look at Carina. She’s not sure if she likes the idea of having the medal in their apartment. Something doesn’t feel right about it. Logically, that’s probably where it belongs, but Maya doesn’t know if she could have it on display in their apartment. As a reminder of her fall from grace. Where she once was on top of the world, proudly the captain of the station and Olympic gold medalist; she doesn’t feel proud to display it anymore. All she was going to do is tuck it away in its box and hide it under her bunk in the bunk room. So she could do that at home too.

“Okay.” She pulls her lips to one side. “Put it in the box.” Maya moves over to the bunk and starts collecting her things. The clothes she has in the locker. The picture of her and Carina on the desk. Her pens and notebooks and clipboard. She gathers everything up in the office and shoves it in a box and they leave.

She closes the door with another sigh. It’ll be weird the next time, if it happens, that she steps in this room.

Carina drives them over to Kaminski’s. They have to clean up from the wedding, since they didn’t do it last night. The pair walk through the door and see Vic and Travis are there and have already started.

“I thought you two would be at home right now nursing hangovers.” Maya smirks.

“Maya.” Travis holds out his arms. He walks across the room and wraps Maya in a tight hug. “How was the wedding night?” He winks as she pulls out of the hug and moves to hug Carina just as enthusiastically.

Maya looks over at Carina, wanting her to answer, shoving her hands in her pockets.

“Oh.” Carina tries to think of the best thing to say. “We had a-“

“Travis, leave them alone.” Vic scolds him. “And get back over here to help me.”

“You can tell me all the sexy details another time.” He grins at Carina.

Carina nods and hums. Maya wonders if Travis has forgotten about what happened yesterday afternoon or if he didn’t and just assumed their wedding night carried on as if nothing happened.

Travis tips his head to the side. “I’ll have you know that I wasn’t drunk last night.” He heads back over to Vic.

Vic scoffs.

“Okay, maybe at one point I was, but-“ He waves his hand around, not wanting to bring up Maya’s demotion. “I sobered up after that. Had plenty of water.”

Maya gives him a tight lipped smile. She goes over and helps Travis take down the strings of lights that are hanging above the restaurant set up. Carina goes around to the tables and collects all the table decorations.

“Before you guys leave, my parents have the left over cake for you.” Vic tells the newlyweds.

“Si, grazie, Victoria.” Carina smiles. They’ll have to take it home and freeze a few pieces. Maya said they had to do that.

They get back home and Maya is still seeming sad but calm. Carina is starting to get agitated about that. She expected Maya to lash out or yell or scream or something but this weird calm from the blonde is kind of scary for Carina.

She tries to ask Maya about it.

“It’s fine, Carina.” Maya says in a monotone as she puts the cake in the fridge and two pieces in the freezer.

“No, Maya. It’s not. It’s not fine.” Carina throws her hands in the air and growls. “Fine? Fine? Nothing is fine.”

Maya turns around and furrows her brow at her wife. Carina is standing over by the table, hands on her hips, frustration on her face. “Okay, it’s not fine then.” Maya tries.

“It’s not fine. And it’s not fair.” Carina says and smashes one fist into the palm on the other hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” She yells across the room.

Maya doesn’t say anything, but she knows she did. She broke protocol.

“You saved a kid’s life and you’re being fired for that.” Carina throws her hands in the air.

“We don’t know if I was fired or just demoted yet. There’s still an investigation.” Maya reminds.

Carina stops, looks over at Maya, and then starts pacing the apartment. “We don’t know. We don’t know.” She waves a hand at Maya. “You don’t know. When are you going to know?”

“It’s Saturday. So probably Monday. Or maybe Tuesday.” Maya shrugs, keeping her level even, calm. There’s nothing she can do until she knows.

Carina scoffs, sticking her nose up in the air. Her pacing continues. “You saved a kid’s life. You should get an award for that. Something. Some sort of recognition. Not fired.” She throws a look in Maya’s direction as she stomps around the dining room table.

Maya hopes their downstairs neighbors aren’t home. After this, she’ll have to go down and see if they are and apologize for all the noise.

“Or demoted. Or reprimanded. If somebody dies, I don’t get fired. The kid lived and you’re being fired.”

“You don’t understand.” Maya tries.

Carina whips around at that. She points a finger to her chest. Jabbing at it repeatedly. “I don’t understand?” She bends at the waist, leaning forward. “I don’t? He doesn’t.” She points out to the side, away from her body. “The chief doesn’t understand.”

Maya knows now it was the wrong thing to say. “Carina, can you just calm down?”

Carina’s eyes go wide. She doesn’t say anything and starts pacing again.

The blonde watches her for a moment, trying to decipher Carina’s path, trying to figure out when to step in, or if she should.

Carina’s path deviates and Maya stands at the sink with arms folded loosely at her chest. She watches Carina, studying her. She’s only seen this behavior displayed one other time. When Andrew died and Carina paced back and forth her hand waving wildly in the air.

“You’ve done everything for that station, for that department, and this is how they treat you. You should be the captain. Who are they going to have as captain? Some new guy. Somebody from another station. Somebody from a rival station.”

Maya wrinkles up her brow. “There aren’t really rival stations.” They are all part of the Seattle Fire Department. Some stations might be liked more and others liked less and that’s up for discussion; but they aren’t rivals. They are all working together in the end for a common cause, towards a common goal.

“Not the point, Maya.” Carina clicks across the room again. “The point is that this isn’t fair. And yesterday of all days. Now. Whose decision was that? And for what? Cosa?”

Maya loses her when Carina switches to full Italian after that. She rants and raves and expresses her feelings through her pacing and her enthusiastic hand movements and Maya loves her even more for it.

Carina goes around the island again and back to the living room before coming back towards the kitchen. Maya unfolds her arms from her chest and steps out in Carina’s path, blocking it as Carina rounds the island. Maya grabs each of Carina’s upper arms in her hands. “Hey.” She tries to catch Carina’s eyes, but Carina is still looking around the room, trying to pace. “Look at me.” Carina’s eyes snap to Maya’s. “I’m fine.”

Carina tilts her head to the side, taking in Maya’s calm demeanor.

“I’m fine.”

She realizes that Maya is telling the truth. Carina sighs, her rigid posture deflating. “It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not.” Maya agrees.

“They ruined our wedding night.” Carina pouts.

“This is true.” Maya rubs her hands up and down Carina’s arms. “But I got to marry the woman I love. I got to do that. And that’s wonderful and beautiful and amazing. So, no, that part isn’t ruined.”

“But Maya.”

Maya rubs her hands up and down Carina’s arms a second time. Yes, she’s avoiding a real conversation about what happened with the chief, but Maya wants to wait to discuss it with Carina until she knows what’s going to happen with her job. There’s nothing concrete to discuss right now.

“Will you come to the park with me later?” Maya asks quietly.

“To run?” Carina raises an eyebrow.

“No. No running.” Maya sighs. “After dinner, later, to watch the sunset.”

Carina takes a deep breath. “Si.” She nods. “Si, si, si.”

“Okay. Good. Now, what should we do this afternoon? Should I call Emmett and we can look at all the photos he took? He was very excited about that.”

Carina chews on her lip. “Could we?”

Maya knew Carina would want to see them as soon as possible. “Of course, my love.” Maya gives Carina a soft kiss on the lips and goes to set something up with Emmett.