47. Chapter 47
Maya sent Dr. Lewis an email three days ago about setting up another appointment. So now she sits in the reception area waiting for her appointment time.
The door swing open. Dr. Lewis smiles kindly. “Good to see you again Maya.”
Maya stands and walks towards the doctor. “You too.” She feels a little awkward. It’s been a whiles since she’s seen the doctor. Maya wonders if the doctor is going to scold her for that or if that is a negative in the therapy world.
Dr. Lewis offers Maya a seat before going to sit in an arm chair a few feet away. “So, lets start out by you telling me why you stopped coming.”
There it is.
Maya sighs. The doctor making her feel guilty right away. “Well, I got married and demoted. On the same day. And then my mom came to live with me and my new wife two days later. There’s been a lot keeping me busy.”
Diane is shocked. “Wow, that’s a lot of change all at once.” She taps a pen against her knee.
“Yeah, that’s why I’m back. I could handle the marriage part. That’s the easy part. But it’s the other things like my mom, and by extension my dad, that are a problem. Also, everything with work.” Now that Maya is saying it out loud, she realizes just how much she’s been dealing with. It’s been a lot and it’s definitely weighed her down.
“That’s why I’m here. We can talk and work through it all.”
“Good, cuz I think it’s starting to worry Carina.” Maya admits. She doesn’t want Carina to have to worry about her or her mental health.
“How so?”
“Well-“ Maya rubs her hand on the back of her neck. “The other day I was drunk when she got home from work. That was an obvious concern. But like things are different and I wouldn’t say bad, but all this crap has, I feel like, affected our relationship. And I’m sure it’s going to. How can it not, right?”
Dr. Lewis hums. “I’m going to suggest something, and you don’t have to agree but would it be alright if we invited Carina to one of your sessions?”
“Yeah.” Maya doesn’t need time to think about the question. It’s an automatic answer.
“Okay. Next session then.” Dr. Lewis writes that down. “Do you want to ask her or should I?”
“I’ll do it.” Maya offers.
“Wonderful. Now let’s get back to you.”
Carina is slathering her body in lotion before bed. “How was your session today?”
“Good.” Maya says quickly. “There was lots to talk about.”
“So, it helped?” Carina caps her lotion and moves towards the bed.
Maya waggles a finger at her. “Don’t come at me all greasy like that. Put some clothes on.”
Carina laughs. “But, bambina, you love my body.”
“I do. Very much. But that doesn’t mean I like you rubbing your greasy lotion all over the sheets and me.” Maya holds the sheets down against the mattress on Carina’s side of the bed.
Carina shakes her head affectionately. She might never get over Maya and her intricacies. But she loves Maya’s intricacies, so it really doesn’t matter. She moves to put a t-shirt on and comes back to the bed.
Maya narrows her eye but is satisfied enough. She would also prefer pajama pants or shorts but beggars can’t be choosers. And if she wants her wife in bed with her, which she really does, than she’ll have to make a compromise. She flips the sheets up on Carina’s side of the bed and smiles.
Carina rolls her eyes playfully and slips into bed. She saddles up next to Maya, on her side, her hand slipping over Maya’s abdomen in the process. “I love you.” She whispers.
Maya hums. “And I love you.”
“And I’m super duper proud of you.” Carina rubs the tip of her nose against the upper part of Maya’s arm.
Maya smiles a little and Carina’s cute wording. “That I went to therapy?” Carina nods. Maya knows now is the time to bring up asking Carina to go with her to a session but for some reason the words don’t want to just come out of her mouth. There is a hesitation. There is reservation. There is something that Maya doesn’t want Carina to see about her in therapy. She knows it’s silly because Carina knows more about her than anyone else on this planet. Carina would never judge her but there just something that’s that little bit more vulnerable about having Carina there that gives her pause.
“Dr. Lewis, uh-“ She huffs out a frustrated breath. “Just say it.” She tells herself.
Carina quirks an eyebrow. The thought occurs to her that maybe Maya doesn’t want to tell her whatever happened in therapy today. She knows she shouldn’t push but she just wants to know that it went alright and that it was helpful. She just cares, that’s all.
Maya laces her fingers with Carina’s on her stomach. The small touch of Carina’s grip, the security of the handhold pushes her forward. “I want you to come to my next session.”
“Oh.” Carina didn’t think that was what Maya was trying to tell her. She sits up and frowns.
“No, no, no. Nothing bad.” Maya leans forward her back coming off the headboard. “You don’t have to- you don’t need to-“ Maya takes a deep breath, collecting her thoughts. “Dr. Lewis thought it would be a good idea. I do too.” Maya knows there are some things that Carina probably should know and that in therapy they can discuss them in that controlled environment with the help of Dr. Lewis. “Some things- you know I want to tell you stuff. Everything. But that doesn’t always come easy. And sometimes I can’t do it. And I’ve learned some things about myself in therapy that you should probably know. Nothing bad, or too bad, I don’t think. Not like I’m a secret serial killer or something.”
Carina smirks and rolls her eyes at that. She sighs and settles back down at Maya’s side.
Maya wraps an arm around her wife pulling her more onto her chest. “What do you say?”
She realizes that she didn’t give Maya an answer. “Of course, bambina.”
The blonde nods, resolutely. “I’ll set up a time that works for both of us.”
At first, it was weird not to see Andy every day. Vic would whine about it constantly. And every time she did, if Sullivan was in her presence, he would glare at Vic. Maya picked up on this, she noticed this. The thing about Maya is that very little gets past her. She’s intuitive. She’s very observant of her surroundings and the people in them. She’s got her own shit going on and she’s been treading lighter around everyone at the station, but she doesn’t miss anything. The dynamic is off with the team. That’s for sure. And it has been since their first shift after Maya and Carina’s wedding, even before Maya’s return.
Maya knows something is up though. Anytime anyone mentions Andy in recent weeks Sullivan is silent. He has zero to say about his wife. Maya definitely isn’t going to ask him about it. She has her suspicions, though. She thinks about asking Andy, but she hasn’t been in contact with Andy really. Which is a little sad, but Maya feels terrible for basically getting Andy restationed. If they had just stayed at the wedding, and not stormed the chief’s office, maybe they would both still have their former jobs. Maya doubts it though, at least on her end. But Andy could still be at 19.
It’s been a quiet morning at the station. Maya shoots off a text to Andy asking if they can meet up for coffee or breakfast or something.
Andy texts back almost immediately. And I thought you forgot about me.
Maya frowns. No. She types out and shakes her head. There’s just a lot going on. She sends the message. She doesn’t want Andy thinking it’s just some excuse, so she adds to it. With my mom moving in and living with us and being newly married and getting demoted and then my mom moved out. I’ve truly been busy.
Andy knows. She knows the shit that went down in the chief’s office. She knows it’s going to affect Maya. She replies. I truly can’t say I’ve been the same. So that excuse doesn’t work for me. I’m on shift now. You?
Yep. Maya texts back.
Andy knows what has to happen next. Meet for breakfast in the morning?
Maya smiles. Great. Prefect.
With that set, Maya then typed out a message to her wife. I’m having breakfast with Andy tomorrow morning so probably won’t see you before you go to work.
Carina texts back with a sad face emoji and then the words. I’m glad. Have a good time. Tell Andy I say hi.
“What are you smiling about, Bishop?” Beckett asks as he walks through the beanery. “That hot sexy doctor wife of yours send you some sexts.”
The legs of Mayas chair scrape against the floor as she gets up and crosses the room towards the captain. Dean is quick to chase after her; wrapping an arm around her midsection before she can reach Beckett and throw a punch or scratch his eyeballs out.
“Let go of me, Miller.” Maya yells.
Beckett calmly grabs an apple, biting into it. “Easy there, tiger.” He smirks.
“Don’t you dare talk about my wife like that.” Maya points an angry finger at him. She struggles against Dean’s hold on her.
“Or what?” He knows she can’t do anything to him without losing her job completely. He could have Maya fired so fast and they both know it.
Maya fumes. “She’s my wife.”
Beckett nods. “Got it.” She walks back to his office.
Dean waits until he is long out of sight. “Go cool off, Bishop.” He says and releases her.
Maya storms off, full of anger and rage at her captain. She changes and goes to the gym and gets on the treadmill. She runs and runs until she too tired to be physically angry anymore. She’s just got a permanent scowl on her face as she goes to shower quick and change back into her work uniform.
When she talks to Carina that night, she doesn’t do much talking. She just listens to Carina’s day and hums along.
Carina picks up on this. “What’s up, bambina? You’re very quiet tonight.”
Maya shrugs, feeling stupid about it now. “It’s nothing. It was just- something happened here this morning and it made me angry. But I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“Can you tell me?” Carina asks cautiously.
“No.” Maya let’s out a shaky breath. Carina is going to think worse things about her. First the asking her to therapy and telling her she’s not letting her know everything that’s going on and now not telling her this. “I really can’t. Cuz I’ll be angry all over again. And I don’t want that.”
“Are you alright?” Carina asks. She wishes she could just go down to the station and she would find Maya in her office, and they could just sit or they could lay in the bunk together. There’s no privacy for them at the station anymore.
“I’m okay. I feel okay.” Maya feels unsteady but she’s sort of felt that way on and off since their wedding. “I’m meeting Andy in the morning.”
“Good bambina. Good.” Carina pouts. “I’m sad I’ll miss you, though.”
“Me too. But I should be home when you get home from work tomorrow.”
Carina hums. “Molto bene.”
Maya closes her eyes at the Italian words. “Can you talk to me in Italian until I fall asleep?” Maya whispers to make sure no one else hears.
“Si, bella.”
Maya waits at the diner that they agreed to. She wonders what is taking Andy so long. She knows the woman has to travel a little further than she did but Maya’s been here for five minutes already. So expects Andy to be here by now.
The Latina rushes in two minutes later. “Sorry, I’m late.” She says in a flurry as she sits down.
Maya hums as she takes in Andy’s appearance. She seems a little different, but Maya doesn’t know why.
They don’t start up any serious conversation until after they order their breakfast.
“So, uh, I’ve been avoiding you.” Andy fesses up.
Maya wrinkles her eyebrows together. She had all of her stuff going on; but never thought for a moment that Andy could not be in contact for a reason.
“I was mad and avoiding you.”
“Mad?” Maya thinks about everything briefly. “At me?”
Andy chuckles at Maya’s confusion. “After your wedding-“ She realizes that Maya has no idea what she’s referring to. That Robert hasn’t confessed to anything. She shakes her head. It’s very much like him. He works with Maya on a daily basis and yet he has kept his mouth shut about the role he played in Maya getting demoted. Yes, she and Maya and Carina going to the chief’s office also had a role in that. But the initial act of having Maya removed as captain came after Robert went to the chief.
She knows now that she’s the only one who knows that the meeting between her husband and the chief even took place. Other than the two men.
Andy leans forward in her seat, hands folded together on the tabletop. “Maya, has Robert said anything to you about your demotion?”
“No.” Maya’s confusion only grows. They aren’t exactly friends. They are work colleagues and not much more, but Sullivan hasn’t brought it up. Neither has Maya because, other than right now, she hasn’t talked about her demotion with anyone but Carina.
Andy shakes her head, disappointed, but not surprised that she is the one to say something. He, as a man, should admit to his part in this but clearly, he hasn’t. “I have something I have to tell you.” Andy pauses. She knows telling Maya this is likely to send the woman into a tailspin or at the very least a fit of anger.
Maya sits forward now too. She’s not sure what Andy is about to say but she has a feeling that whatever it is involves the woman’s husband and her job and possibly Andy’s as well.
“I want to preface all this by saying that it was your wedding day, and I didn’t want to have that ruined in any way.”
“Well, it was anyway so whatever you are about to say just say it.”
“That morning, Sullivan told me that he had a meeting the previous day with the chief. Apparently, to discuss replacing you or something. I’m not entirely sure what was said between the two. But basically, he went in and said that 19 would be better off if he was running things. He was worried about me or my job or something. He’s stuck on this whole 19 is your house, your family, your legacy thing. Stupid men. So, he was going to save that. Something about the station possibly being shut down. I don’t know if that is true or not. But he volunteered himself to be the next captain at 19.”
Maya can’t believe this information. She can’t believe she didn’t know this until now. Months have passed since the wedding. She’s not sure if there is anything she can say right now.
“Whether that’s what the chief wanted to hear or not, I, also, don’t know.” Andy reaches across the table, a hand extended towards Maya. “But whatever he decided after that regarding you as captain was at the very least influenced by that conversation. In Sullivan’s eyes, I’m sure, he thought he was doing a good thing. For me, at least. But I didn’t ask him to do that, I didn’t want him to do that. And I want you to know Maya that, I did know about this conversation, but I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want it to ruin your big day.”
Maya nods at that. Maybe if she had found out that Andy knew the day of the wedding and that Andy didn’t tell her, she would’ve been mad about it, but not now. She understands where her friend is coming from. She understands that she was put in a difficult situation.
The blonde former captain thinks about Sullivan and how now, in hindsight, it seems like he’s been avoiding her. It’s not like they sat together and played card games or watched sports together, but he has been strangely absent from her presence.
“I was so mad at him.” Andy says. “That day. And pretty much every day since.”
Maya is astonished. She didn’t know any of this. And Sullivan and Andy have been keeping it from her for months.
“The chief asked him what he would do, and Sullivan offered himself up.” Andy adds, almost as an added afterthought.
“You keep saying Sullivan.” That isn’t lost on Maya.
Andy sighs heavily. “I’ve been dealing with my own shit. Not like you, but I don’t know if I can trust him. He says what he was doing was for me. But I live in the shadow of my father’s legacy whether I want to or not. So that hangs over this too. He tried to use that on me to get me on his side about going to the chief. I tried to use that legacy when we went to the chief to help you and look where it got us. I want to be done doing that. I want to do things that represent me, not my father, or Sullivan, or anyone else. I’m trying to keep my head down and put the work in at 23. Not ride on someone else’s coattails. If I become captain one day, I want it to be on my own merit, not because of my father, or because Sullivan got me the spot, or because everyone thinks I just automatically deserve it.”
Maya can appreciate that.
“I’m not speaking with him. I’m not anything with him. He went behind me back and your back and everyone’s back to put himself or me, I’m still not exactly sure what he’s angle was, in position of captain. He says one thing but I’m not sure if that’s the truth. Anyway, I- I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry, Andy.” Maya frowns hearing that her friend is having marriage problems.
Andy sighs. “It’s not your fault.”
Maya feels like maybe it is. But she doesn’t voice that opinion.
After that, they chat about how things are going at 23. Andy tells Maya it’s just a bunch or rowdy boys and that she’s surprised they can get anything accomplished. Andy asks how 19 is. Maya says it’s different without Andy there.
Maya goes home after and thinks about everything that Andy told her. She’s even more sad now than she was about losing her position before. She knows now that there were other factors, other influences than just the things she said and did. She’s not sure how she feels about that. She tells Carina about her conversation with Andy and everything she learned today as soon as Carina is in the door from work.
She also decides to sit on the information for a while. She doesn’t want to just go into work and air all her issues with Sullivan in front of everyone. She does think that everyone should know though. So they know who they are working with, what kind of man Sullivan is. But she’ll have to choose when and how she tells her crewmates carefully.
Carina is at work, in her office. Maya comes in on a day off and brings lunch for them. They eat at Carina’s desk with Maya sitting across from her.
“Are we going to do anything for Halloween?” Carina asks as the holiday quickly approaches.
“Do they celebrate Halloween in Italy?” Maya is serious about learning Carina’s culture.
The doctor shrugs one shoulder. “It’s mostly for kids. “They go tricking and treating.”
Maya grins at her cute wife. “So, no adult parties?”
Carina shrugs again. “Somewhere, probably, sure. But as an adult I never really went to any and then I moved here and the first Halloween I was shocked just how much Americans got into it.”
“It’s mostly an excuse for girls to dress up in costumes that they couldn’t get away with wearing out in public most of the time. Or an excuse for people to get wasted and less to do with Halloween itself.”
Carina challenges Maya. “Which is?” She smirks.
Maya opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. “You want me to define Halloween?”
Carina nods, eagerly. So Maya has to think for a moment. “All hollows eve. Followed by all saint’s day and then all souls day, in the church. So, I guess that’s where the ghosts and goblins come in, right?” She’s trying to suss out the definition of Halloween herself.
Carina asks again. “Are we, or the station, doing anything for Halloween?”
“Is the hospital?” Maya shoots back.
Carina smiles a hopeful little smile. “Just the staff, because of Covid. There is a little gathering for the staff and their families, all the kids from the daycare. Candy, masks, costumes, punch. In the cafeteria. On Halloween night.” Carina twists her hips a bit, biting her lip.
Maya takes her in, realizing what Carina is not saying. “You want me to come?” This would be a first. Maya coming to a hospital function as a family member, as Carina’s wife.
Carina shrugs. “It could be fun. You wouldn’t even have to dress up. You could just come in your fire turnouts. The kids will like that.”
Maya chuckles. “That would be dressing up.” She disagrees.
Carina tilts her head to the side. “Yes, but not as something else.” Carina wants to do this. They haven’t had a lot of fun in recent months. Since the wedding, really. It’s just a few hours, one night. “You’re not working that day, are you?” Carina already checked Maya’s schedule; she knows she’s not. The knowing smirk on Carina’s lips reveals that.
Maya grins, big. “You already know that I’m not.” She kicks her toe against the floor. This is kind of exhilarating right now. Flirting? Is she flirting with her wife? Is that what this is? Carina just nods and licks her lips. Maya finally catches on. Two can play at this game. “Are you asking me to the Halloween party, Ms. DeLuca?” Maya smiles her most charming, dazzling smile.
Carina raises an eyebrow. “I don’t know who that is. Who you are referring?”
Maya looks the name tag on Carina’s white lab coat. “Your name tag says DeLuca.”
Carina nods. “It also says doctor.” She points to her name and title. “But no Miss.” She shakes her finger at Maya.
“Mrs?” Maya bites her lip.
“Why are you asking?” Carina asks.
Maya throws her head back and groans playfully. “Ahh, you’re killing me.”
Carina laughs and gets up from her chair. She rounds the desk and stands next to the chair that Maya is sitting in. “Bambina?” She whispers. “Can we?”
Maya pulls her head back and looks at Carina. “Are you going to dress up?”
Carina holds her arms out at her sides. “As a hot doctor, duh.”
Maya moans. “And fulfill my every fantasy?”
Carina smirks. “Every?”
Maya nods.
“And is it really a fantasy?”
Maya shakes her head. “No.” She stands up and steps in front of Carina, putting a hand on her stomach, coaxing her backwards gently until the Italian is leaning against the edge of her desk. “Cuz I get the real deal. And nothing could be better than that.” She moves her hand to Carina’s hip. “Now could it?” She asks.
Carina shakes her head. Mesmerized by the blonde in front of her. The feel of Maya’s hand on her hip. The feel of Maya slowly pressing against her and moving in for a kiss. She closes her eyes in anticipation of a kiss. But it doesn’t happen.
Maya hovers there, her eyes flitting around to every inch of Carina’s face, taking in her beauty, her anticipation, how she has her eyes closed, her lips pursed. “You have yourself a date doctor.” Maya seals her words with a kiss.
Carina’s hands find Maya’s shoulders, holding her there, holding herself upright, holding on so she doesn’t lose all control. She hums against Maya’s lips. “Maya.” She mumbles.
Maya smirks and pulls away so she kind find those magnificent brown eyes. “Are you really going to dress up or come like this?” She looks down. Down from Carina’s face, down her slender neck, across the collar of her flowy blouse, between their bodies and the open lapels on Carina’s lab coat. “Or something else?”
“What do you want?” Carina quirks an eyebrow.
Maya’s eyes snap back up. She bites her lip. “You could wear a trash bag and I would be more than happy with that.”
Carina chuckles. “I love you, bambina.”
“Good. Cuz I kind of love you too.” Maya rolls her head to the side.
“Thank you for lunch.” Carina smiles thankfully. It just makes her feels so good when Maya does little things like bring lunch on her days off. Or when she rubs Carina’s feet after she’s been in surgeries all day. Or anything really.
Maya pouts. “Does that mean lunch is over?”
Carina pats lightly at Maya’s cheek. “Si, bambina. I have to get back to work. I have an appointment at one.”
Maya takes a deep breath and lets it out loudly. “Okay, I’ll see you at home tonight.” She slowly backs away from Carina, towards the door.
“Bye, have a good afternoon.” Carina gives a little wave.
“You too, Dr. DeLuca.” She winks and slips out of the room to the sound of Carina laughing lightly.
“Can we go on a honeymoon at some point?” Carina asks. “I know not now with Covid. But maybe after we can be vaccinated.”
Maya is silent. Not because she doesn’t like the idea. A honeymoon might be nice. But she never even thought about going on a honeymoon. Everything has been crazy and with Covid, it’s nearly impossible. “Where would we go?”
“Where would you like to go?”
Here Carina is yet again, asking Maya her thoughts and opinions and wants. She knows Carina enjoys warm vacations. She’s not going to go to the top of a mountain and be able to enjoy it.
Carina shimmies across the kitchen. A wooden spoon in her right hand, the left underneath it to catch any drips. She brings the spoon to Maya’s lips. “Assaggia questo.” Maya opens her lips and Carina dips the front edge of the spoon into Maya’s mouth.
Her eyes close as the flavors hit her tastebuds. “What’s that for?”
“It’s just sauce.” Carina shrugs.
Maya hums. Her eyes flicker over to the stove. She thinks maybe she should be helping. Or maybe she should know more about the ways Carina cooks and why. She makes a mental note to look into it after they are finished with this conversation.
“What about Hawaii?” Maya offers.
Slowly, Carina smiles. “That sounds lovely, bambina.”
Maya nods. Hawaii it is. She makes a note to look into that too. If she knew making vacation decisions with Carina was so easy maybe she would suggest it more often. It’s not like they can go now, but for the future.
Maya spends the rest of her morning looking up hotels and things to do in Hawaii. After bookmarking a bunch of websites to go over later with Carina; she moves on to looking into Italian cooking classes. Something that she could take as a beginner, something that will introduce her to the world of cooking, the world of Italian cooking. Maya wants to do something. Other than simple dishes, Maya isn’t much of a cook. She wants to know more about Carina’s culture too. What better way than a cooking class.