Chapter 7: How to disappear

Things went exactly as planned. Rion was recovering well and even though he needed rest to get better, he obediently stayed in bed and let Helena bring them food whenever she managed to sneak out of the castle. From what she has gathered, he still didn't remember who she was, and this knowledge hurt her more than she would like to admit. Sometimes Rachel would give her a worried look, to which she always responded with a smile, pretending that things were good just the way they were.

Rachel had trouble accepting the news of working under the best seamstress in the city. Not only did she feel the pressure of being employed by such a great person, but she also expressed her reluctance to work with strangers. To make the transition smoother, Helena started to take her out for walks to the city markets and little craftsmanship shops, where they pretended to be maids inquiring about products for their masters. Rachel, who never saw many people in her life, was slowly making progress but it seemed to cost her a lot. Once again, Helena felt guilty for imposing her will on these two siblings. Did she really know what was best for them?

Time was passing by quickly and before she realized it, it was time to send Rion to the farm. Helena wasn't sure why she had trouble explaining to him who she really was - perhaps because their relationship wasn't clearly defined, to begin with? She decided to pretend to be a messenger girl employed by the good Obranovic family who was eager to take him in. Rion tried his best to understand how exactly he came into the position of a stable boy and why would they treasure him this much to await him despite his condition; Helena also did her best to avoid the topic. Every day, her anxiety grew. They needed to part ways and she wasn't ready to let go.

''Rion'' she began on the last day before his departure. They were sitting next to each other and staring at the craking fire, lighting up the room. Everything worth anything was already packed, at the siblings prepared for their last night before going separate ways, at least for the time being. ''I'm confident you will be happy at the farm, and you can visit your sister at least every ten days, they assured me they will give you a free day. And if there is anything wrong, you can...''.

''Elena'' he interrupted her for the very first time. ''Have we met before?'' his eyebrows were frowning as if he tried to remember something he couldn't.

''Do you perhaps recall anything?''.

''I'm not sure'' he muttered. ''When I heard you talking about being happy and free, I felt like an old memory tried to come up to the surface''.

''Well, we did talk once about who we would like to be when we grow up, if we both had a chance to follow our wants''.

''We did?''.

''You told me you hoped to improve other people's lives. I thought your dream was beautiful'' she added shyly. Rion looked at her, his expression animated.

''I can't believe I told you this. I've never shared this with anyone'' before Helena had a chance to answer, Rachel entered the room, carrying a loaf of bread. ''Well, it's time for me'' Helena quickly got up and headed towards the door. ''We will stay in touch, I am sure of it'' she smiled and waved, just like she was taught to do. Deep inside, she wasn't sure of anything.

Her tenth birthday was just around the corner and her family began talking about her upcoming decade. She noticed that they would all gather without her, their faces tense. After a few days of deliberating, they finally invited her to join in, and Helena felt as if the decision has been made.

She sat next to her youngest brother, Pemos, and looked around. Both her mother and father looked stern; Pavel seemed to be lost in his thoughts while Olivia had a neutral expression, which she only assumed if she truly disliked something. Cesare avoided her gaze, his hand nervously rumbling on the table. Helena didn't like the sight of any of it.

''Helena'' her mother began softly. ''You're soon entering your teenage years. We have waited for too long. It is time to announce your engagement''.

''What?!'' she couldn't hold back her scream.

''We have a few promising candidates for you. We're considering sir Bretor from the House of Otera, sir Melider from the House of Barytor, but also his royal prince Ferranto''.

''I'm not getting married!''

''Helena'' her father's tone contained a warning. ''Being engaged doesn't mean that you are to marry this person immediately. It is time for you to start thinking about fulfilling your role within our family. You're not as pretty as Olivia'' Helena quivered ''nor are you as charismatic as Pavel. In fact, you're the most ordinary child, in every single aspect'' her eyes began to fill with tears. ''You will do as I say''. Helena once again looked around her siblings but seemed to find no empathy. Pavel's pensive eyes didn't leave her face, but there was no saving from him this time. Defeated, she got up from her chair abruptly.

''I would rather die than marry without love!''.

''Love, do you even know what love is? Your father and I didn't love each other at the time of your engagement, but we are content now.''

''You're not a little child anymore, it is time to think of others, too'' Cesare added quietly.

''If I am not a child then why do you treat me like one?''.

''We only want what is best for you''.

Seeing her family's position was unwavering, Helena ran out of the room, feeling even more lost.

Her chamber was small yet suited above the Southern Garden, which made it a beautiful dwelling. Helena loved her space but tonight, it felt like a trap. She looked at the mirror and her dark green eyes looked back at her. Castle staff used to say that she was a miniature copy of her beautiful sister Olivia who had long, brown hair and deep, green eyes. However, over the last few months, Helena noticed subtle signs of entering puberty. No one made remarks on her looks anymore and she knew why: she was by no means a beauty. Her hair looked dirty blond, her eyes couldn't decide if they were dark or hazel. Her nose seemed to be too big for her face, just like her forehead did. Compared to Rachel and Rion with black raven hair and blue eyes and their symmetrical faces, she looked ugly. If their clothing were exchanged, she could pretend to be their mad, serving her royal masters.

She turned back and collapsed onto her bed, crying. In the end, she was just an accessory, not even a pretty one. The names her family called meant nothing to her; she couldn't imagine her future if Rion wasn't by her side. She knew that as a woman, marrying into a family meant inevitably leaving her own and being integrated into someone else's. She would become someone's wife, someone's property. Right now, she didn't mind being ordered by her father and brother much, but could she say the same about her future husband, whom she didn't choose for?

A decisive knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

''May I enter, my little princes?''

''You may''. Pavel's face entered first and he gave her a big smile.

''Let's talk, little bee''.

''There is nothing to talk about, father sent you here to convince me for good''.

''Well, he does know that we have a soft spot for each other, don't we?'' his arms embraced her. Helena was still pouting. ''Why do you hate the idea of marriage so much? Perhaps there is... someone else in your heart?''.

Helena didn't answer, instead burying her face in his chest. Pavel chuckled and petted her head gently. ''Everyone will love you wherever you go, Helena''.

''You know it's not true'' she muttered into his shirt. ''I'm not as pretty as Olivia. You heard the father''.

''Being loveable is not only about being pretty. You can also be cute, charming, playful. I see great potential in you''' he laughed when Helena hit him with her small fist in response.

''Pavel'' she looked at him desperately. ''Is there anything we can do?'' his expression grew solemn.

''I'm afraid not'' he said. ''Time goes by fast if you are a royal family member. Negotiations take time, and believe it or not, our parents would also rather take the time to get to know your fiance first. The sooner we announce the engagement, the better''.

''Then... can't we just make it a pre-engagement first?''.

''What?'' Pavel chuckled. ''How would that look like?''.

''It would mean that it is not a binding contract... yet. It's a pre-promise, to let us get to know each other better. If there will be no obstacles, we will proceed with the marriage'' Helena was thinking fast. She needed to buy time.

Pavel didn't look too convinced. ''It doesn't seem very solid to me''.

''Pavel, please'' she was begging him. ''Olivia is almost 17 and she is only getting engaged now. I am still young. Can't I experience meeting the chosen boy first?''.

''Does it mean that you will go with whatever candidate we choose'' his expression grew sly. She gulped.

''Yes, it doesn't matter who he is. I will make sure that he is content with me'' with these words, she sealed her fate.