64 | My Son
3:45pm
: has anyone seen kara
: she's not answering my texts
: why
: because
: i wanna test out this new laser gun i found
: um excuse me
: find your own kryptonian to test weapons out on
: and kara isn't answering because she and lena are having a two year anniversary thing
: well i can't exactly shoot my very destructible team mates now can i
: winn's free right now, you can borrow him for target practice, sara
: alex!!!
: fantastic
: alex do you perchance... know where they are? geographically i mean
: roulette no way in hell am i going to tell you where they are just so you can third wheel you weirdo
: ugh you know me too well danvers
: though j'onn shapeshifting and acting as supergirl is a real mindfuck
: oh that explains why kara didn't high five me today
: winn you were there when he did it
: well i was tending to hammy
: who the hell is hammy
: our son, as winn proclaims, as of yesterday
: wait you guys have a kid called hammy
: who the fuck names their kid hammy
: man you guys are kinda dumb
: tread carefully, schott
: i know ten ways to to kill you without lifting a finger
: hammy is my new hamster son
: i put a camera in his cage so i can keep an eye on him when i'm at work
: he ate at the table with us this morning
: the... hamster ate at the table with you for breakfast...
: he's a person too!!
: hammy thoroughly enjoyed his pancakes
: yes that hamster did weirdly eat a lot...
: sorry but am i hallucinating
: you may be laughing now alex, but hammy may become a world leader one day!!
: i-
: he's right you know
: hamsters will rule the world once humans die out
: why is it that every time something strange happens, wynonna is here
: what can i say
: i'm all-knowing
: that's my wife!!!
: they will start a new civilianisation, a civilisation that will thrive under hamster rule, a civilisation where trade will bloom and the economy will prosper
: one in which there will be harmony between neighbouring societies of this hamster world
: ummm
: yeah gotta agree with danvers
: well this took an interesting turn
: it came to me in a dream when i was five
: ... should i enrol hammy in an ivy league university right now
: in order for young hammy to fulfil his full potential, you must allow him to be in control of his destiny
: he's a hamster
: set him free
: but he's my son!
: guys have you seen wynonna's phone??
: she lost it last night and we can't find it
: wait who the fuck is texting from her phone
: guys what the fUCK is happening???
: ahh you've found me out
: you're not my wife???
: is everyone super confused right now orrrrr
: who are you???
: hello father
: ....
: wait
: hammy!??
: well now i've seen it all
: and i'm definitely hallucinating right now
: yes it is i
: hammy
: wait no i prefer carl
: should i be concerned?
: because i am very concerned
: okay... carl
: what do you want from us
: hi carl, well my sister wants her phone back
: guys i'm pinching myself because i'm 100% sure this is a dream but nothing is working haha what a weird fucking dream
: gonna tell maggie about it when i wake up
: i want freedom
: well i'll be sad we have to part ways carl
: but i will carry out your wishes
: thank you, father
: you are a good man
: why am i not waking up
: talking hamsters???
: what's next??? me being in a committed heterosexual relationship???
: let me out of this dreamscape i beg
: guys i've got to run home, i'll be back?
: ... sure
: permission granted i guess
: i shall leave your friend's phone in my nest
: it was nice to interact with you humans
: i shall bid farewell, we may see each other again
: uhh bye carl
: bye carl...
: carl has been released
: oh god i hope he doesn't get run over
: we live in a city
: oh and i have wynonna's phone
: carl's written a bunch of poetry on the notes app
: fanatastic, a Shakespearean, talking hamster
: what else is my brain going to conjure up
: shush alex
: carl has a way with words
~~A/N
I'm really not quite sure where I was going with this one lmao
Ah well hope you guys are doing well!!