Reflection

I wonder once more through the forest, this forest of despair and disharmony - To find a lake with water shimmering so clear it resembled fresh glass. I reach the lake; it's a calm lake, a serene lake, a lake you want to enjoy. But that is not what I seek; My eyes are not for such simple pleasures. Wherever I look, there's a lake. This river is never ending; The rivers are always flowing. The river's are not the same; They're constantly changing, ever flowing. I reach the center of the pond; there's a center to this pond. I reach the deepest end; there's a deep pond.

I watch the lake and ponder, who am I truly? My real name is I don't know, but I am here is Joseph, Joesph Cottoneye. But who is Joseph Cottoneye? Is he a man who sits by a lake and watches? Is he a man who looks for himself, for the world to see? I search for myself, find myself but I'm not who I thought I was. I wonder what I am supposed to do? Is there a secret to it all? I wonder who I am supposed to be? Is it a name, a person, something else? Is it something in between? The question I seek to answer, the question I seek to discover - Who am I?

My heart has turned to lead. My eyes, so full of wonder and sight, are blinded with tears. My ears, so full of melody, are now mute. Who is Joseph Cottoneye? Who am I? I ask those questions yet I never hear an answer. I ask these questions, yet I never once seek to find an answer. I ponder, I wonder, and I am left with a lot of things but no answer. I can see a lot of things but I can't see my way out of this. I am a lost in a wilderness of despair and disharmony. I wonder where do I go from here? Who am I?

Some are called, yet others are chosen. Are they the same? Can they be both? Yes, there's a difference. Some are chosen and others are called. There are some who are called, then sent into a world so harsh. I'm just wondering - who am I? Am I just an outcast? Am I not? Is this something in between? Is there a difference? I don't understand it. I wonder why I'm the way I am? Who am I? There are many things I do not know. I wonder about myself.

In the silence, it is quiet; it is deafening.

The lake reflects my reflection back to me. The water appears clean and clear, like glass. I look at my reflection and see the same reflection I see in the pond. Yet it is not the same. I don't know what it means, but it is what it is. I search my soul, I search myself, I search my mind and body. My reflection reflects back to me. I feel as though it is a mirror that reflects my past. It is a mirror that reflects my present. And I feel as if I have become the person it shows. Am I truly me? Is this a reflection of my true self? I wonder if that is what this means, if this is what being the same is. It's confusing, I don't know what it means.

My name is Joseph Cottoneye, and I am lost in a forest of despair and disharmony.