Grief and The Loss

Aesther felt a small smile forming over her lips as she glanced at the setting sun. The golden lights cast shadows through the large windows.

After a luna, the alpha wolves were rare. In their current academic session, there were only five alphas and they were all formed into elite teams that included at least one alpha.

Nigel has his own squad.

So did Inez.

Things turned unexpectedly in the future and when Inez was denied her rightful position as the successor of Nigel only because she wasn't a man, she seized the position from Kazmir.

It happened in those times when Ezrahl became the biggest threat to Nesmeria. The heavenly cities were on the verge of war and Nesmeria needed a leader who was not confined within traditional bounds, someone fit to lead.

Aesther became her sword, reaching in places where Inez couldn't be. She became the true luna, being hailed as the savior and protector of the land.

She thought she could win like that. Everything was going right after all.

But Ezrahl… he…

He took it all.

Ezrahl abandoned Nesmeria on a fateful night. He had severed all ties and turned his back after the blood bath he caused. The massacre he did was deeply rooted in the hearts of many and the flames of resentment that burned within Aesther were shared by many.

After that, they didn't see him again for a long time.

Until…he returned.

The barrier against the dark realm was held together by two vital things, one was the spell cast by their arkhon and the other thing was the dragon pillar at the edge of the cliff. It was created by the former leader of the dragons in a way that only someone of her blood would be able to hold its strength.

But Ezrahl had massacred his entire clan in pursuit of power.

Years later, the barely repaired barrier was once again on the verge of collapsing. They all thought the end was near because Ezrahl had turned his back long ago.

But he came and offered to help.

No one could fully trust him after what he had done but what else option was there? The arkhon had passed away by that time and no one else was strong enough to cast a new barrier powerful enough to hold back the creatures of the dark.

Gradually Ezrahl did gain some favor. He was despised but there were many who admired his strength and power, they feared him, yes, but it won't be wrong to say that a lot of people desired to be where he was.

Aesther never talked to him in those times.

She couldn't understand him, nor bring herself to even see him after all he had done. But perhaps a part of her was still too weak. The fleeting intimacy they shared in the past, and the way he helped Nesmeria in those dreadful times despite having nothing to gain… it made her hatred a little less.

The tension between them eased a little more with time.

Inez asked Aesther to not worry, she used to think that there might be a reason for all Ezrahl had done. Perhaps there was a truth they couldn't see, because how else could he do something as sinful as killing his own people?

She was too optimistic.

Sometimes she would invite him to her and Aesther's shared meals. She was kind to him even though he deserved none of it. And it was only because Aesther had faith in Inez's judgment, and because she too secretly hoped Ezrahl wasn't the devil she thought him to be…it was only this that made Aesther a little less wary.

Often when they shared dinner, Inez would make sweet dumplings for them.

She was a horrible cook actually but dumplings were something she excelled in. Inez always cooked them for Aesther in their earlier days together.

Whenever Aesther was feeling down, her mood lifted up because of those. She didn't like sweet things but when Inez offered them with such a sincere and genuine smile, Aesther felt unable to resist.

She begins to love them.

Perhaps Inez liked offering dumplings to people she liked because they were the only thing she could cook well and no matter how much Aesther hated sweet things, those dumplings were scrumptiously delicious.

Later after Ezrahl returned, for the time being, Inez started making them again.

Aesther soon realized, with a heavy heart, that it was possible Inez had feelings for Ezrahl. The way she looked at him was always with admiration, sometimes sad, but she never hated him even when everyone did.

On the flip side, Ezrahl was as unpredictable as ever. His eyes were mysterious as if carrying the secrets of the world and it was always unreadable.

Yet Inez saw something in him that no one else could.

And her views were gravely proven wrong when the barrier collapsed one night.

The council had been trying to create something to replace the barrier, something that won't require Ezrahl to be there. He could still not be trusted after all.

The plan failed.

There was a large rift in the skies, bigger than anything anyone had ever seen.

All warriors took their stand and fought to save all that remained.

Ezrahl had to keep the barrier from worsening while also trying to fix it up. The others were hesitant in giving him a hand at such a grave time. They were still somehow afraid of him.

Inez rushed to his side and while he used the essence of the dragon in his blood to hold the dragon pillar enact, Inez took charge of repairing the barrier.

Aesther had to fend off the escaped ghouls. She was too far to react in time when one of the barriers begin to react strangely. The condensed mana within them rushed to repair the rift, but the force was so strong that it caused an explosion.

Everyone who was close to it couldn't survive.

But Ezrahl did.

And he remained there silently, watching as Inez collapsed. He did nothing even when she took her last breath. He just stood there calmly like the cold-hearted devil he was.

She was the last person close to Aesther, she was like a family she never had. And Ezrahl let her die despite how kind and considering she was to him, to everyone else.

The grief overwhelmed Aesther and for days she couldn't move from the mausoleum where Inez's coffin was placed. She had no water and no food, just her solitude and the pang of her heart.

Perhaps Ezrahl thought he could still mend things and while she was succumbing to her loss, he went to the kitchens. She found him making dumplings as if his actions could be forgiven just like that.

How dare he do something Inez had done? After betraying them again and again?

She was dead and he could have saved her if he wanted.

Aesther stormed inside and knocked everything over. She wanted to ruin him the way he had stolen everything from her, mercilessly.

And that evening, everything took for the worse. Things were never going to be the same again.

"Oh, come on!" Inez drawled out and brought Aesther out of her thoughts, "Guess what?"

Her hands carried something round wrapped in white muslin. The warm smile on her lips and the gleam in her eyes told Aesther about it without any word being exchanged.

"Dumpling?"

"It's dango!" Inez exclaimed, her smile remaining, "They originated from Akamori, remember?"

Aesther ignored that fact Inez repeated for the nth time. She took a big bite of the soft dumpling and felt the sweetness melt into her mouth in nostalgic bliss. It was surprising how such a small thing could bring happiness to her.

But when she had cried her eyes out at the hostile behaviour on her first day at Alkazar, it was Inez's dumpling that showed her there was someone in this foreign place who cared for her.

Aesther was thankful for the shadows that now stretched across the hallway. It was dimly lit with the fading and Inez couldn't see the shift in Aesther's gaze, their raw hatred and flicker of pain that was hard to hide.

"Nez," Aesther murmured.

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

Inez paused, her smile was a little sad for some reason but then she chuckled gently.

"It's just a dumpling."

Aesther looked away to hide the glistening tears in her eyes. She couldn't describe the ecstasy she felt by being reunited with those she deeply loved. The nights she was slowly killed from the gnawing emptiness were too many and no matter how strong she became from the outside, her soul was never able to heal from these scars,

It was all because of Ezrahl.

Thinking about him alone made her joy turn into fury. She kept her emotions concealed but swore inside.

In this lifetime, she will make him pay for everything.