Flying paper planes

I laid on my bed as the birds chirped around. Yesterday was something. Something really happened.

All my days were the same. Everyday begins when I wake up. Yeah, I don't have a specific time to wake up. The later you get up, the less time you have for the day. Then breakfast, books, painting, snacks, more painting, more books and crying to sleep.

Those birds are now tapping on my window. I am cursed. Go away. I don't want to wake up now. Precisely, I don't even want to wake up anymore. I can even predict what is going to happen today. Besides, I didn't sleep last night. The events were flashing in front of my mind. Her hazel eyes and her rosy cheeks were all that in my mind and it is not going to leave me anytime soon. Wish I could see her in my dreams.

The tapping continued and it is now more aggressive. How dare you annoy me in my own room? I turned myself to glare at the birds that are outside my window. When I turned over, I saw the one tapping my window was not a bird, it was a paper plane.

I rolled myself out of my bed and rushed over to the window. I opened it a little and allowed it to fly inside. It softly landed on my mattress. It unfolded itself. For a second, I was scared, but then changed into a frown. A Bunch of balloons? It's only 9 in the morning! Who is not in their right piece of mind to_? Oh!

It's Emma!

I rushed over to the window again, knocking over so many things on my way and tripping down a few times. I threw my window wide open as it collided with a bang to the wall causing the birds to fly away. Outside I saw a very nervous Emma looking around her. She saw me from the corner of her eye and looked at me. She giggled. I smiled and waved with so much excitement. Of course, I am not looking my best now. But what did she expect, it's only 9. I am not an early bird.

She waved back. She came back for me. She forgave my parents for their behaviour. She came back. I can't believe my eyes. I never expected to see her again. I even drew a rough sketch of her face on one of my canvases. I am going to draw her. I don't want to forget even a tiny detail of her. I don't know why but my eyes began to fill with tears. I turned around and dried them. She can't see me miserable.

I never felt so desperate for anyone. I don't even know what I am feeling. She is making me weak and strong at the same time.

I was doing a lot of thinking last night. If I was able to do any sort of magic, it would be so useful. Even though it is some dark magic. I was so useless yesterday. I just stood there and saw her being dragged away from me. I didn't do anything. I should have protected her. But I was there, watching the scene unfold before me. I am such a waste of space. I can't even protect someone I love. If I was strong enough to save her from the humiliation…

I went over and took out a paper. I sat by the window to let her know that I am drawing back. What should I draw back? I am feeling so hungry right now. I would draw a cupcake for her. She is going to smile when she sees this. I love to see her smile. It's beautiful. I can watch it all day. And I wish to.

I am on the third floor and she is even outside the walls. There are so many things separating us right now. But we are not letting those thoughts stop us from having a good time. I want to be the only person she is close to. I want her to be comfortable around me to be so. I want to make her mine forever. No one else is allowed around her. She is my friend. No one else's.

We exchanged so many planes. Drawing random things we see. She is now sitting on the ground and drawing. I was sitting on the window and feeling the morning air. I never woke up this early. I don't have anything to do or anywhere to be. I am living because I am not dead yet. I should ask her to get me something to do. I am going to rot in this room.

In the very next letter, I said I am going to be bored if she leaves. She replied she will get me something in the evening. She is on her way to school and she will come back when the school time is over.

My dad is going to work soon. I can't risk him catching us. She is going to be in much trouble then. This time I am not even there to keep him away from her. And from what I know about her, she is going to be more worried about my dad's feelings than about her safety. This girl is going to be the death of me. But she is my only hope now.

I waved her goodbye and watched her fade away. But this time I am sure she will come back to me. She always comes back. I hope she will.

She just gave me a thread to hang on for the rest of the day. What is she going to get me? I wish I had a puppy here. It would have given me company. But that's not possible. I don't want it to suffer here either. Some sort of games or puzzles will be nice. It is going to keep me occupied all day.

I went to my bathroom and started brushing my teeth. I can't hold back the smile that was forming on my lips. I smiled at myself in the mirror. I look disgusting right now. But I don't care. She made my whole day with just a simple painting that both me and her considered dump just yesterday. Her effect on me is pretty good yet disturbing. Now I have a meaning to life.

The day began to seem to be more interesting. I started to draw her picture. I am looking over books that talk about magic. I have no idea what I am looking for. But I am looking for something that even I can do. It may be impossible because no one was born before me who is unable to do magic. But it won't hurt to try, will it?

She came after school and got me a small jar. It had an insect in it. Great. I don't know what it is. But I thanked her either way. She just shrugged. She knows that I haven't got the slightest idea what it is. She didn't even care to explain. Whatever. I watched it all the way to the night. When I got bored I went to bed. She doesn't know how to get a gift for someone. I sighed remembering my expectations. I shouldn't have held hope. Maybe hope is not meant for me.

Darkness creeped into the world and I began to feel extremely lonely and scared. I curled into a ball in my bed and let the feelings consume me. I just need someone to be near me right now and comfort me. I don't care if it is even my dad. I just want to know that I am not alone in this mess. I am scared of the dark. It makes my room look like a haunted house. Even my canvases and curtains scare me. There is complete silence and darkness. Why is this city so scary? Why?

A tear dropped from my eye to the mattress. I want someone. To be sitting next to me and comfort me. To tell me that this too shall pass, even if it's a lie. I am tired of comforting myself. I can't take it anymore. I am tired of all these. I want a way out of it. Please help me… Save me…

Then it happened. Something began to glow and I figured out it was the insect she got me. It illuminates.

It's a firefly!

I watched as the room began to brighten up whenever it shines. It's no longer darker and scary. I am no longer alone in the dark. She is here even though she is not. It's not as dark as before. I was wrong about her. She knew exactly what I needed, instead of what I wanted. She knew I needed some light in the dark and she got me some…

My life is going to change, I am sure. She is changing me. I am not going to let anyone take her away from me. She is an angel sent from above for me when He heard my constant prayers. She is slowly taking away the darkness in my life. It is not the same as before. There is light and hope, emotions and love. I am being cared. That's all I ever wished for. Maybe I needed some empathy. I didn't want her empathy. I needed her empathy. And she felt it...

What is she doing to me?