The letter

Dear Austin,

I know you are angry at me. I was so guilty because I just let you go away on your own. I should have come after you and brought you back to your home. I am so sorry for making you sad. I am so stupid to assume that you are not going to get angry.

I know you are thinking that I never loved you. But I want you to know that I have always been loving you. I know it's too late now. But my conscience is killing me. Honestly, I don't expect you to return. But if you are reading this right now, I am so grateful that you returned to me. I don't deserve to tell you how much I love you.

I hurt you.

Austin, I have always loved you. I can't say I fell in love the moment I saw you. I just felt pity. When I realised you are strong and didn't allow the solitude to consume you, I started to admire you. I would have gone mad if I were you. You still had hope inside you. You even stood up to your parents. Do you have any idea how cool you looked then? It is a lie if I say I was not impressed when you showed me your paintings.

You have no idea how much effort I put into each painting I drew. I can't impress you with my drawing skills. But I just want you to know that I at least tried to. I think you knew that too.

My marriage was fixed. I had no choice. Dad knew that I love you, but he was helpless. Don't blame him or get angry with him. He didn't have any choice either. And I accepted the proposal in the first place. He is depressed already. Don't make him more sad and make his life miserable.

I want you to visit my dad once in a while. He can't stand all this alone. He may lose his mind. I don't want him to become a burden to anyone. Please comfort him. He is alone.

My marriage didn't happen, by the way. That money lender was killed by a beast the exact day you left. I never knew beast is allowed to roam around and kill people. I was scared when I heard the news. If he had died a day before, nothing of this sort would have happened. We would have been together. Maybe even God doesn't want us to be together.

Your mom came. She was looking for you. Go back to your home when you return. She cares for you. Because she still hasn't accepted the fact that you are no longer with her. She is still believing that you are at your home. This city also believes so.

You are still in your room, drawing pictures of the sky.

I know you are out there somewhere trying to find the meaning of your life. I am so sorry that I am not there for you. I am so sorry that I left you alone in this world on your own. I should have been with you helping you paint. I know it is what you wanted to do. You will be a great painter. I have seen the sparkle in your eyes whenever you talk about your paintings. Wish I could see them more.

I can't be saved, Austin. Don't try to play the hero. I am stuck in this mess. I don't have any way out of this. I am the reason for the curse. You know what, there is a prophecy in my name too!

Your dad came here yesterday to talk about it. My dad is now so scared. He is crying in the other room. He is so hurt. He thinks that I can't hear it. I can hear it, sitting in this dining room. I still remember that day when we danced around in here. I was so happy then. You gave me a lot of good memories, Austin.

Please ask your parents not to hurt my dad anymore. He is so hurt and your dad made it worse. That moment I knew how absurd it was for us to love each other. We won't stand a chance. We will be torn apart. We both are cursed. Ours is a cursed love. The whole world is against us.

I want you to move on, find someone else, live the rest of your life happily and peacefully like you always wished. Seems like I won't be there to see it. That doesn't matter.

Guess I will go to the torture room. There is no way out if so. I can't be saved, can i? I am scared, Austin. How does it feel? Alone in a room, with lots of lost dreams and regret; in pain.

Please pray for me to die fast.

I know you are not returning. But I am just writing it anyway. You are happy somewhere. I know. I am happy that I got to save a life before dying. I had a purpose. Live forever, Austin. You deserve it. Live for me and the life you lost in that locked room. You shouldn't know about me. I am a cruel person. I am meant to die. What I did to you was unforgivable.

Forgive me.

With love,

Emma Moonstone.