I would like to see him again

I awoke to the warm sunshine on my skin. My tears had dried on my cheeks making them stiff and uncomfortable. But I felt rested for the first time in quite a while. I got up and went over to wash my face and prepare for the day, enjoying this feeling of peace and comfort. But Nurse Nevi's words rang in my head from the night before.

I went over to my desk and started to brush my hair and think. I was still deeply hurt by His Majesty's actions, there was no doubt about it. He did seem to be remorseful though and I was so conflicted about what I should do to move on, if these feelings would fade over time or if I should meet him again to let out the unspoken words I still wanted to tell him.

There was a knock at my door as Little Livian entered in the midst of my feelings. She smiled at me and asked to use my washroom for herself again.

"Of course, when you are done, can we go somewhere today?" I asked her. She nodded and disappeared behind that door at the edge of my room again. I gave her some privacy and waited until she was ready to decide where to go.

"Okay My Lady, we can go somewhere today, where do you want to go?" She asked me, still adjusting her hair as it was drying. She looked so refreshed and calm again, it was such a relief.

"Somewhere peaceful," I replied. I needed to get out for a while. I was tired of being cooped up in a room crying through the nights and only worrying about busy work during the day. I saw her smile as she picked out a beautiful flowing dress. The front section was white while the back gradually turned to a deep ocean blue. She quickly helped me dress but refused to tell me exactly where we were going for the day.

We started walking outside of the small palace and past the garden. Thankfully, the Empress wasn't there at the moment and I let out a sigh of relief. Since we didn't call for a carriage I knew it must be a short walk from here as I followed her. It still ached to walk far, but I was getting much stronger as I was able to keep up with Little Livian. I followed her through the trails of the palace.

After passing the Lover's Garden, we hiked up a large hill with a grand tree. I was almost out of the breath by the time we reached the top and there was a beautiful overlook of the meadow just down the hill, untouched by any buildings. The tree that provided us shade was fitted with a red swing to look and relax at the beauty of nature just ahead. Little Livian pulled out the swing for me as I sat down and stared for a while in silence.

"Do you think I should meet with him again?" I asked her. She is smarter than she lets on, and I knew she would give me carefully weighed advice.

"What?" She was genuinely surprised that I was even considering it. I couldn't blame her for being so surprised. I was myself as well, but this feeling was nagging at me lately and I just wanted something to change.

"I have so many things I want to say and I am so conflicted lately. Why on earth would he do so many terrible things only to be so exceptionally remorseful? Does he think I'll believe he became somebody else overnight? I-I just need to know more," I explained to her. She was silent for a moment as she pondered her response.

"I wouldn't meet with him only to yell at him again. I know love makes us want to do crazy things, as do you," she smirked a bit as I turned my head away in embarassement. "but, it still isn't easy to move past all of what he did. However," she paused again. I knew she was struggling herself what to say. "It would be nice if the Emperor could believe in mercy. What he did isn't okay, but he is making an effort every day in leaving you be, I think, if you put him on the right path, it would be good for the Empire," She explained. It was very logical. If he isn't sure how to treat others correctly and isn't given a second chance, would he ever give anyone else? If he controls our empire, that answer could affect millions of lives.

I sighed. She was right, even though I was still deeply upset at him, it might be good to see him again solely to resolve our issues for the good of the empire. Maybe I'll even sleep better without needing to cry again as an added bonus. I looked up at the sky to see it wasn't quite evening yet.

"Tell His Majesty I would like to see him again, today if possible please Little Livian,"

"Yes my lady, but first, let's return to your palace. I don't want you to get hurt by yourself please," She said. I nodded and followed her back to my chambers. She ran off to alert His Majesty as I waited anxiously. I tapped my fingers against my teacups, trying to release this built-up energy I had, questioning if I was making a mistake in seeing him again.

I went over to my mirror to adjust my hair and makeup. I put my hair up into an elegant updo with my bangs on the side of my face and my lips shined a brilliant pink. I wanted to look my best to show him I was still doing fine without him or anyone else in my life, even if it was a lie. My golden eyes shined back at me with the sadness I still felt in my heart, I looked away from the mirror, unable to bear it further.

I heard someone outside of my door but they hadn't yet knocked. I heard the sound of someone adjusting their clothes and taking a deep breath. It was definitely His Majesty. I waited patiently for him to knock and then opened the door for him. He was obviously nervous and he seemed surprised I opened the door at all, even though I invited him here. I moved aside so he could enter and we went over to my seating area.

Even though it had only been a few days, he still seemed taller than I remembered as he towered over me. I was only as tall as his chest when I stood close to him. He was wearing one of his white suits again today while his eyes showed the true extent of his nervousness and, excitement? He mostly just seemed confused as he awkwardly manuverued himself to the sofa in front of me. After he sat he waited to see if I would say something first. I held my breath, unable to think.

"Wh-What did you want to talk about today, Lady Viola?" He asked me finally.