Muscle memory

I was surprised at this revelation. I guess I shouldn't be surprised much anymore, considering I can't seem to remember much of anything. Everything I thought was that important turned out to be a lie and I still can't recall how exactly I ended up in a coma.

When I stared closer at the painting I saw all the fine details I put into every little detail. It was an oil painting blended masterfully. I wonder if I try to paint again if something would come back to me. I ventured out of my room and started to explore further down the palace wing to see the other rooms. The whole palace was just one floor. There was a kitchen, the servant's quarters, and standard washing rooms, but it wasn't until I circled around close to where the exit was I found one last room I never explored before.

I knocked on the door softly at first. There was no answer, I knocked a little harder. Still nothing. Carefully, I opened the door slowly in case there was someone there. The night had set by now so I really shouldn't be exploring like this but my curiosity got the best of me. In the moonlight, I saw the room was filled with many stored boxes, easels, and books. They haven't been put away completely yet, it looks like the room was under construction.

I found a candle and a match so I lit a candle and searched around the room carefully. I started to open some of the boxes, most of them covered in a heavy coat of dust. Many contained children's books and some fiction books. I came across a beautiful array of new and old paint bottles with many brushes scattered loosely in a painted box. It felt familiar and I could remember painting the waves along the box some years ago in brief flashes.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a small wooden box filled with letters. I set down the candle on a holder and started to look through the box. It was full of letters and the handwriting looked like mine. These were letters I wrote before my coma. I picked up one and started reading aloud.

"My dear Leo, I hope we will never part. I have missed you these days," I stopped before I could read anymore and I threw the letter to the side. I skimmed through the others. They were all love letters I exchanged with Leo. I had both the ones I had sent and received, someone must have found them and put them here. I wanted to throw up after looking at this side of my past knowing the truth now. I couldn't believe I wasted so many years with him. It still hurt to remember how he wasn't what I believed in.

I gathered all the love letters I could find and grabbed my candle. I crept back to my room and stood in front of my fireplace. It was the end of August and it was still humid at night, but I didn't care. I lit one of the love letters with the candle and threw it in the fireplace. It immediately caught fire with the standard kindling there. I saw the edges of the letters wilt up, and I smiled as I lit another.

I repeated this process until they were all burning up in front of me. I felt satisfied to see this part of my past literally burn before my eyes. The fire was hypnotic. I sat and watched it for a while before sneaking around to that storage room again. I grabbed that box of paints and a small easel. I wanted to try and find myself. Something about myself that was only mine.

I set up the easel I found and sat on a stool. I watched the fire and started making quick, aggressive brush strokes of what I saw before me as it was dying out. It was unbearably hot in my room, but it was all worth it with what I had finished. I constructed a beautiful piece of fire, burning up the mistakes of my past. I learned my lesson well enough I didn't need any reminders. My muscle memory had given me a sense of belonging I can't remember feeling before as I smiled with pride. I signed my piece just like the others in my room.

Satisfied with the day, I quickly washed the paint off of me and went to sleep. I slept late into the morning and woke up to Little Livian stroking my hair.

"Good morning my lady," She said sweetly as she sat on my bed. I opened my arms, excited to see her again. She gave me a nice hug as I stroked her back and got up. I looked over and saw I didn't completely clean up my mess but was still beaming with pride at my work. "You remembered some more didn't you?" She asked me with excitement. I nodded my head. I could remember what it felt like to feel peace within myself.

I yawned and rubbed my eyes as she began explaining to me the plans for the day. We were interrupted by a pigeon carrying a note chirping at my window. I went over and grabbed the note. It had the imperial family seal on it.

"Good morning Lady Viola. May I send you a gift? If so, tell me what you would like! Signed, Kache," I read aloud. Little Livian was excited for me as I still felt uneasy about communicating with him. Second chances are supposed to be good though. With what little faith I had I wrote back,

"Good morning, Kache," It still felt strange, "I would appreciate it if you could have the storage room at this palace finished so I may have a space to paint comfortably. Yours truly, Lady Viola," I had Little Livian check it before she nodded and we sent the pigeon on its way. It was very strange indeed.

Little Livian and I got ready together again to prepare for the day. Countess Carolina should be arriving today so we quickly started preparations for her. We asked the kitchen to prepare some fine sweets to her liking that Little Livian told me about. She apparently loves macaroons in pink so we had a few extra made and put on a cute little stand.

In the midst of our arranging, we heard a commotion outside. We looked out of my window to see the Empress was obnoxiously engaging with a woman of tall stature dressed in a fine pink and gold silk dress. She must be the Countess. Her aura screamed elegance and status while the Empress was imposing on her personal space. We decided to go outside to help the Countess.

"Countess Carolina! What a surprise to see you here! Would you care to join me for tea?" The Empress was requesting while beckoning her to follow her as if guiding a dog.

"I am afraid I have, other arrangements. Maybe another day Empress Cecera," She gracefully explained, exporting masking her disgust at the Empress's rude actions. I walked out of the palace doors and gave a curtsey to the Countess with Little Livian perfectly timed at my side.

"Welcome to the Northwestern palace Countess Carolina, we are pleased to make your acquaintance today," We spoke in sync and separated to invite her into the palace doors between us. It came so naturally, even without remembering how I was trained for this.

"My my Lady Viola, you haven't changed a bit, my dear! Even with your unfortunate circumstances," she told me proudly. She came up to me and kissed my cheek than Little Livian's before following us inside. As I turned around I saw the Empress was bright red with rage as she turned her back to me and kicked a rock like a child.