Chapter 11

If the world were different, if it were known to you sooner or later, if you remember one day what happened to us; maybe you could call me. There she was with all the cards on the table with the internal desire settled in her heart and the idiotic hope that everything was just a bad joke. It was unfortunate that everything he had heard came from the mouth of the person who claimed to love him more than anything.

•••

The door in front of her opened and Marianna Miller looked at her in surprise; she gave him a small smile and after a second she spoke.

She looked uncomfortable, and somewhat bewildered.

Gabe's not here honey, he and Ian are practicing on the beach, you know, for the open water competition they're having in a few months.

She dismissed him with a wave of her hands.

“You know those two are crazy about qualifying for the Olympics and all they can think about is swimming.

Grace couldn't help it, she let out a loud laugh, that's why no one saw Marianna as the crazy and calculating she was, so kind, so cute with that hateful blonde hair and eyes just like Ian's, it was impossible to compare her with Lera, certainly Lera was beautiful, too, but cold and perfect. Marianna seemed distracted and free"

“I'm not here for them, in fact I want to talk to you about something that Roland Miller, your ex-husband, said a few days ago at the firm"

Marianna paled, she hadn't been married to Roland for more than six years, but she had kept her last name, everything between them had been ruined eighteen years ago by irreconcilable differences. She moved away and he popped into Wraysbury from time to time, he never wanted to live far from the city so that just drove them away; plus all the things unsaid and mistakes swept under the rug.

"I think I should not talk to you about Roland Miller.

Marianna smiled at him and started to close the door.

Grace stopped before she managed to do so; no joke Marianna was going to escape this conversation"

"Well, I think so, what's more, I think Ian would love to know that his best friend is also his half brother"

This seemed to set off Marianna's alarms, and she let Grace enter the house without further hindrance.

The woman who could not have been more than forty-eight years old looked at her before reaching the room, Grace could see the terror on her face, the fear that Ian already knew, Grace was not stupid, there were still a few tricks to go before tell him, nothing was that easy; she had to get her hands dirty first.

"Who else knows?"

asked a desperate Marianna.

“For your own good I hope you don't even think of telling any of this; there are things that remain secret for a reason"

Grace rolled her eyes and brushed her aside without paying much attention to the woman's angry look, there was nothing that bothered her more than someone's victim airs; she was made to go back in time to her mother and she hated it.

"Did you know? Save it, this; as you say, it is a tangle of lies that only serves to continue your adventure with Carson and that Ian continues to see you as the poor and defenseless Marianna, when it was because of your deceit that Roland left you, you were the cause that he marriage will not work with your father"

She smirked.

"Well, what father? If the truth is, you have lived lying to him all his life"

Grace didn't see it coming when Marianna moved closer to her, but the sharp burning of her cheek from her slap; It made her angrier than she already was. Sometimes she wondered how much Carson was worth and if she deserved this treatment or just oblivion.

"I am not threatened by a presumptuous girl like you, besides this goes from part to part, honey, I also know your thing with Carson if you want to share secrets I could also tell Gabe your little secret."

Marianna paced back and forth across the room, she was trapped and would use everything in her power to keep Ian from learning the truth, if it meant she had to throw some dirt on the Fullers as well, then she would drag him down. the mud.

“No one here has the right to throw dirt on anyone.

That was falling low Grace thought, Marianna was no fool, she was a full-fledged viper"

Both women smiled at each other, this was not what either of them had thought of the other, but Marianna was an adult so she wanted to start making everything clear before that girl started imagining stories. Truthful Grace, Marianna began narrating. Carson and I have more material to cut together than him and Lera, ours was and no, it was for years, before Lera, before Roland and of course long before you.

The blonde hair moved as Marianna walked to the furniture and invited Grace to take a seat next to her, Grace wasn't sure what to do, she was scared but at the same time she wanted to hear what Marianna had to say. Carson never told her about him; or anything he did to himself outside a room.

He was a kind dad to everyone, to everyone including her, but he never told her about her life beyond Lera.

»I know you're with him now and that's why you're here, more than for Ian it's for you, I know a little about that too; I wanted to do it a year ago, tell Lera, face her and tell the truth, but I was always going to be the other one, he will never leave Lera for anyone, he feels too guilty for that.

Grace thought she saw a little nostalgia in Marianna, at first she wanted to feel sorry for her but inside her there was nothing but anger and envy. There was no room for another invasive feeling, which hurt, but it was all she could offer Marianna now.

"He's in love with you, I know"

Those words came out of Grace's mouth so poisoned that she was surprised not to see any reaction on the face of the woman in front of her, Marianna only looked at her between her lashes and shook her head, almost with an expression of compassion.

"Linda, Carson is not capable of loving anyone but himself. I have known him since we were children, we grew up next to each other in London, we lived in the same apartment building, him with his father and I with my mother and my sister, his mother died when he was a baby and my mother was always willing to give him that love. We were teenage sweethearts until he moved to Liverpool"

So there was more to the story than Carson let her see, Grace was now counting down the minutes until this whole fiasco was over.

"What about you now?"

"They keep seeing each other and although you don't want to believe it, he loves you, but me; I'm just a cardboard girl."

Her words got stuck in her throat, she also raised her head and looked proudly at Marianna, she didn't need anyone's pity.

"There is nothing but memories between Carson and me, I do not deny that sometimes we have good times together, but on my part it is only old and rusty spite, only common memories. Very late I realized that Roland was everything I ever dreamed of, it's easy to fall in love with Carson, but it's so painful to live in love with him."

She reached for her hand, Grace jerked it away.

"I gave up. He's going to stay with Lera because if there's one thing that hurts Carson, it's Lera.

Grace couldn't understand why she kept telling him that, Lera was beautiful and all, but he wasn't with Lera, not really"

Marianna seemed to read the question in Grace's eyes and took her hand this time being faster than the girl, yet she yanked her away and crossed her arms over her chest. She didn't want any sympathy, least of all from Marianna.

"Lera is and will be Carson's pain, his only mistake.

Marianna frowned as if she was remembering something especially annoying."

“When she was pregnant for the first time, Carson caused a car accident, they were both fighting because he didn't get to sleep, he was with me. He wanted her to shut up and suddenly stopped the car, another car hit them, Lera was not wearing her seat belt and she was thrown from the car. She was in a coma for a while.

Grace's hands began to shake, how could she have done that to Lera, but she then pushed her thoughts away, it had just been an accident, Marianna was telling the story with more drama than she really had."

"I was four months pregnant at the time; Time passed and she didn't wake up, Carson was desperate and Roland wasn't there to take care of me, he had to travel, the delivery was a few weeks early, Ian was also with Roland so I went to the hospital alone"

Grace did not understand anything, she was not following the line of the stories or did not understand the relationship between the two. Marianna let out a few tears and then continued talking

“When I had the baby Carson came and threatened me, he said that if he didn't give him my baby he would tell Roland that Ian wasn't his son, he would take them both. At the time I wasn't sure my baby was Roland's and I couldn't lose both of them and Roland as well. It would break me, so Carson took care with one of the doctors that the papers of Lera's loss had my name and mine had hers, I could only name it, with Roland we mourned a baby that we had lost each in their own way that was the beginning of the end with Roland and a month later she woke up"

It all made sense in Grace's head now, how different they were, the fights between them, how protective Lera was of her children and how she constantly pushed her away from Gabe.

"Gabe is not their son, he is yours"

Grace yelled in surprise, her discovery almost shocking her

"I don't understand, how Lera never realized anything?

It was illogical how she wasn't going to realize that they were so different, of course, Gabe had blue eyes like Lera's or well like Roland"

"When Lera woke up she was scared, she was no longer pregnant and she had a nervous breakdown, no one was with her at that time, a while later Carson arrived and found her scared and crying, he told her about the coma and that the baby was fine, that she had spent eight months in a coma; Lera was three months pregnant when the accident happened and Gabe was already close to two months. So she just decided to believe it I guess. He convinced her that they had been able to keep her pregnant until Gabe was born."

Grace was more than surprised angry, very angry, not only with Carson but with Marianna and Lera for all the lies that surrounded them; they seemed to just rotate around them.

“So you just dumped Gabe…and that's it."

Marianna glared at her, and her hands balled into fists until her knuckles were white.

"I convinced Roland to move here when Lera and Carson did it from Liverpool, to be close to Gabe I became friends with Lera, Carson insisted that I stay away from his family, but the coexistence around him…"

"You fell again, right?"

How silly, silly Marianna, there are only one time mistakes she kept falling into the same hole all the time.

"Carson says what everyone wants to hear and my marriage was a prison, it was so bad that I only believed... if I could get him to divorce Lera I would have my son back, but all I got was Roland noticing and provoking my own divorce, he's never going to let anyone find out about that. I think he knows deep down that Gabe is not his son"

"Isn't he?"

Grace asked, feigning surprise. How much could that information destroy the Fullers? because although Carson might suspect that Gabe wasn't his, he loved him, it couldn't be denied, the problem with Carson was that he didn't know how to love without hurting.

"Come on Grace, you just need to see it and if it's still not enough to know him, he doesn't have a hair of Fuller, of course you don't know Roland, but they are so similar. If Lera one day finds out that he gave her another baby she will not only be mad at him for causing her accident because she remembers that Carson was the one who caused it, she told me once. She will be angry for cheating on her for so many years"

Maybe that's why Lera's expression of hatred towards her husband, maybe deep down she felt that he wanted her to lose the baby, maybe that's why Gabe is so protected by her. He is afraid of losing it, again.

"What happens that you don't say anything?"

Grace blurted out reproachfully. So many years keeping a secret, this was more than her children, still upset with Carson, Marianna had chosen him over herself and her children.

“I have more to lose than I am going to gain. If I talk I lose both Ian and Gabe, neither of them will trust me, they will have so many reasons to hate me"

She could hear the regret in Marianna's voice, what a pity that she was not going to be able to keep the secret from her, she needed to destroy all the Fullers, not just Carson, they were a lie and she was going to show it to everyone because Carson Fuller he deserved it and sometimes the just pay for sinners.

Grace got up and started walking to the entrance.

“I'm telling you because I know you wouldn't hurt Gabe, you love him, I know. Even if Carson got under your skin, it's my son you love and Grace, for your sake no one should know about this; If I find out that my children know something, I'm going to hurt you. Don't think I won't, you'll regret sticking your nose in my business"

Marianna's menacing expression only made her laugh inside her, but following her impassive expression in front of her, she nodded and walked away from her down the hall.

Of course she wanted Gabe, so much, but what was wanting but destroying? What was love but to break? What was love if in the end it didn't leave you in pieces?

“Hello Ian, how are you, so you got my message"

She greeted when she found Ian in the middle of the corridor with red eyes and very angry, she looked back but Marianna had already left and had not noticed that her son was right there hidden behind the shelf that led to the living room.

Grace walked past the petrified Ian, she hadn't said a word, she just told Ian to be in the right place at the right time. So she did come out of the Miller house triumphant after all. How fun it was to throw the saw over the gas line, she had almost forgotten the feeling but once she got out of there the images of her calling the police to report the landlord for drug trafficking came back to her head.

Tim was a good guy, he shared his food with her and he asked nothing more than to let him in the apartment when his mother was so drunk that she couldn't even remember her name, Tim told her to lock herself in the bathroom and then she heard the muffled screams of his mother and as she asked for help, begged him to stop, Tim never did.

And Grace could only think as she huddled and cried on the broken tiles of the bathroom, "better her than me" the next day her mother thought it was a nightmare although Grace saw her tremble and shake every moment, when she asked about why she was sore or bruised Grace would say:

"That's how you arrived last night, maybe it was at the bar"

When her mother left her she asked Lewis, the owner of the stripper bar, for a favor, if he got her three kilos of cocaine she would take the place that her mother had left. He agreed and she just had to get them into Tim's apartment.

It was six hours of planning and a week to ask for the trade, one week for the trade to be approved, ten minutes for the police to arrive, and when he saw Tim crying as he begged to be let go, that it wasn't his, he thought, what It felt good to see the world burn.

She couldn't help but smile at the thought of her, they would all get what they deserved…and if Gabe had unfortunately also let her down and that gave her a place in the world she had just set on fire.