Forty-six

It was coming from the bridge. I crept over, trying not to draw attention. I saw a dark figure moving towards the edge of the bridge. There wasn't enough light to make out who it was. When I realized what they were doing I called out to them.

"Hey, w-what the hell are you doing?!" I yelled in a hushed voice, hoping not to startle them. Their head snapped toward me. They quickly back up from the edge. I approached slowly, hoping to see their face. I pulled out my phone and guarded it against the rain while using it as a source of light. It seemed like the world had frozen over when I saw who it was standing there. It was Yibo, he was covered head to toe in cuts and bruises.

"Yibo?" I called in disbelief. He looked tired, scared, and sad. Rain soaked his hair and ran down his cheeks, but even then I still could tell he'd been crying, the puffiness under his eyes gave it away. I found my body moving towards him on its own, but as I approached he stepped backward. He stumbled onto the ground whimpering from the pain. He scrambled backward on the ground, trying to get away from me, but I had no idea why. He can't be this scared of me after I snapped at him, right? It's not like I pushed him hard enough to hurt him. right? Even though I knew he didn't want me near him I could stop myself from moving. He curled up, and backed into a pole.

"I-I'm sorry!" He repeatedly cried looking up at me, frightened. Even after all that's happened my heart ached to see him like this. When I got close enough I saw that he was shaking violently. He was soaked from head to toe, his clothes sticking to his frame. I felt a lump in my throat as I saw how bad the extent of his cuts and bruises were. I knelt in front of him and wrapped my arms around his quivering body. He stiffened at first then began to relax as we sat like that for a while, though his cries became more pronounced, staining my shirt as he laid his face onto my chest. I placed my jacket over him to keep him warm. His small hands grasped at the front of my shirt as I slowly moved a hand up and down his back. My reality seemed to crack seeing him in such a poor state. Is this my fault?

Could I have been wrong about him? Was I the reason he was trying to take his life? I don't know... I guess I'll find out soon enough. All I could do right now was hold him tight. I couldn't fathom the thought of someone taking their life... especially if I'm involved.

"C'mon, let me take you home." I said softly.

"Let me do this Zhan... let me finish what I came here to do." He whimpered, tightening his grip on my shirt.

"Y-you can't!" I replied nervously. Why would he want to go through with this?

"Why not?" He said, noticeably upset.

"Think about all of the things you have to live for... think about all of the people who would be sad if you took your life." I tried to convince him.

"I have." He responded after a silent moment, with more tears following soon after. I pondered for a second and realized what he meant, this was already the outcome of what I told him to consider. I pulled him closer, trying not to touch any of his cuts.

"Just... let me end this." He choked.

"No."

"Please! There's nothing left for me here..." He begged. Even so, I could tell deep down he didn't want this, no one did.

"Yibo, I'll give you something to live for." I promised, though I had no idea what I was going to do, I just wanted him to feel better, I wanted him to have hope.

"Just... let me bring you to the hospital at least." I sighed, worried he wouldn't accept. He didn't, he refused with a silent head shake.

Time passed as we sat under the pouring rain. The cold drops hitting my back became almost non-existent, as did everything else, besides Yibo in my arms. It was completely night, nothing was visible other than the boy in front of me.

"Zhan." He sobbed.

"Yes?" I answered quietly.

"Zhan." He repeated this time his voice growing softer.

"I'm here." I assured him. He repeated my name, only this time it was barely audible.

I held him and rubbed his back gently until his body went limp in my arms. He fell asleep. I took that opportunity to carry him back to my car. I noticed how tired he looked as I was carrying him, almost like he'd been through hell and back. I managed to pop the car door open with both of my hands full. I lowered Yibo into the passenger seat and buckled him up. He looked so peaceful laying there. I started the engine after getting into the car myself then pulled off the side of the road. It was a quiet drive. Yibo was sleeping peacefully. I still felt uneasy about all of this, like, what's even going on?

I took Yibo back to my place. I had no idea where else I could bring him, though he could probably use a doctor, he's in pretty bad shape. I pulled into the driveway and lifted Yibo out of the car. I carried him down the walkway to the front door. A memory of him walking beside me while admiring the flowers played in my head. I struggled to twist the door handle with him in my arms, he ended up waking, but I didn't set him down. I got the door open and carried him in.

"Oh my goodness, what happened?" My mom gasped, running over to us.

"It's a long story. Can you bring some towels and a first-aid kit to my room?" I asked, readjusting my hold on Yibo to make him feel more comfortable.

"Oh sure dear." She said before scrambling around the house for the requested items. I carried Yibo up the stairs and to my bedroom. I sat him on the edge of my bed and took a seat beside him. He sat there, not saying a single word. I could tell he had more energy than before but he still looked worn out.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, hoping to start a conversation, but to no avail. He continued sitting there silent with his head hung low.

"I found the first-aid kit and a few towels." My mom said, opening the door to my room.

"Thanks mom." I gave her a small smile. It was hard trying to be positive, I felt awful, not nearly as bad as Yibo was feeling though.

"Call me if you need anything else." My mom returned the smile before leaving the room.

Yibo and I sat like that for a few minutes. I remembered both of us were drenched. I handed Yibo a towel to dry himself while I did the same. I peeled the soaked shirt off of my body, I was about to continue but noticed Yibo still hadn't moved an inch, the towel sat beside him untouched.

"Here, let me help." I took hold of his hand and lifted him from the bed. He finally moved, lifting his gaze to mine. His eyes looked empty, almost soulless. We stood there like that for a moment, what broke it was him lowering his head once again. I turned him around by his shoulder so that I had better reach over him. I placed my hands at his waist and slid them up his shirt line. The shirt moved with my hands as I removed it from Yibo's torso. He made an effort by lifting his hands above his head. As I brought the shirt above his head his back pressed into my stomach. The chill of his skin sent shivers through me. I bet I felt like an oven to him. I wanted to wrap him in my arms and warm him up, but I know it would probably be awkward for him.

"Yibo... can you remove your pants?" I sighed. I wouldn't cross that line, without his permission of course.

"Look, I'll get you something to replace them." I told him, yet he stood there like a statue.

"I don't want to do this boo, not without your permission." I tried to convince. I wouldn't mind him leaving them on if it weren't for them soaking everything they touch, there was even a large wet circle left on my bed where he sat. He was unresponsive but after a while, he began lifting his hands to the waist of his pants. I say pants but they were closer to shorts. He played with the waistband of his shorts until he decided to cooperate. He slid his fingers under the fabric and hesitantly

lowered them to the floor. I tried to look away so he felt more comfortable doing so but I couldn't pull my eyes away from him. I felt my heart flutter when his shorts were lowered enough to reveal his adorable light blue penguin briefs. When he was down to his underwear he stood in the middle of the floor awkwardly, rubbing his arm. It broke my heart to see all of the gashes and cuts over his pale, fragile body. I still had to ask him about this.

I handed him his towel to dry himself off but he just watched it as if it were going to do something interesting.

"Here, I got this." I sighed, taking the towel from his hand. I unfolded it and placed it over his head, drying his hair. He moved with the motion of my hands, I found it kinda cute. I took the towel and quickly brushed it over his body, not wanting to make him too uncomfortable.

"You can sit on my bed while I find you

something to wear." I said, heading over to my closet. I slid the door open and picked out the smallest pieces of clothing I could find since I'm a much larger size than he is. He sat on my bed and wrapped himself in my covers. My heart ached from both what he was going through and how much I wanted him. That happy, goofy boy I fell in love with didn't seem to be present which broke my heart. Of course, I still don't know whether or not that was an act. but I doubt it is.

I placed the change of clothes on the bed but he just glanced at them and then wrapped himself in the covers even more. He was still freezing, I guess I can't blame him.

"Here let me patch you up... or try at least." I sighed again, kneeling on the floor with the first-aid kit next to me. He refused to go to the hospital so I couldn't leave him like this. Even though I hated reading instructions, I made this an exception. While I read through them Yibo sat on my bed, watching me.

"Alright." I muttered to myself. It took me a while but I finally got the gist of what I was supposed to be doing. To my surprise, Yibo loosened the covers to make this a little easier for me. I pulled out a little bottle of anti-bacterial spray and sprayed it on a cut. Upon further examination, I realized he would have to get stitches for some of the cuts. Some of them were so severe that a mere band-aid wouldn't cut it. After spraying the cuts I wrapped them in bandages and band-aids. Having him sit right in front of me in nothing but his penguin briefs were distracting. I wouldn't be surprised if I was red from head to toe. Placing the band-aids on his thighs was one of the most challenging things I've had to do. Whenever my hand touched his soft cherry skin, it would leave behind a mark. The thoughts in my head were far from decent, but I did my best to suppress them.

"You're gonna have to go to the hospital," I informed him. He just shook his head dismissively.

"C'mon boo, you can't stay like this, you need stitches." I told him, but he didn't respond.

"What.. happened to you anyway?" I asked, looking over his cuts. "And tell me the truth." I demanded sternly. He looked up at me with his empty eyes filled with fear. I didn't mean to scare him, I just wanted to know what happened. I was about to apologize but he spoke first, for the first time since he was conscious.

"M-my father, he... he got angry with me, a-and..." He began to shake, struggling with his words.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm sorry I asked." I apologized, placing a hand on his shoulder. He relaxed a bit but still looked sad and frightened. This was his father's doing? he must be a scumbag if he did something like this to his son.

"Yibo, let me take you to the hospital." I said one more time. He still refused. Just as I was about to give up an idea popped into my head.

"I'll be right back." I notified him before heading downstairs. I went looking for my mom, in hopes she could contact our family doctor.

"Mom, can you call Dr. Artson?" I asked. finding her sitting at the kitchen counter.

"Oh goodness, is it that bad?" She asked,

coving her mouth.

"He'll be fine, he just needs some stitches." I assured her. She let out a sigh of relief.

"Okay, I'll see when Dr. Artson can come over." She said before disappearing into the other room.

While I was in the kitchen I decided to bring Yibo something to eat. I grabbed a plate of leftover dinner and heated it up before returning to my room. He was still sitting up in bed and hadn't dressed yet.

"I brought you something to eat, in case you're hungry.' " I told him. He looked up at me, then at the plate.

"Should I leave it over there?" I asked, nudging my head to the nightstand. He didn't speak, instead, he reached out his hands towards the plate. I carefully handed it to him. He pulled it into his lap and looked at it. It was a while before he decided to eat it, but I'm glad he was eating at all. I left him to it while I sat at my desk searching the web on my laptop. The room was silent aside from the clicks of my mouse and gentle taps of the fork against his plate.

"Zhan..." Yibo's voice rang behind me. I turned around in my seat to see what he needed.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"I.." He started and went quiet again. I waited patiently for him to speak.

"I-I didn't... I had no part in anything that's

happening around school." He said, in a broken voice.

"I swear it on my life." He continued. I couldn't help but believe him, especially since he was just trying to take his life. Some things still didn't add up though.

"Then why did Cindy say you were responsible... Was it a misunderstanding?" I asked.

"We both know that's not true." He replied quickly and quietly. "But I still don't understand why she said that... she knows I'm innocent." He pondered to himself.

"What were you doing in my locker?" I questioned. I noticed him tense, he began playing with his fork. Silence swept over the room once more.

He sighed and turned his gaze to me, looking much more alive than he did earlier.

"Zhan... I.." He struggled.

"Zhan... I like you.... Like, I really like you." He mumbled with his face noticeably flushing a dark shade of red.