Chapter eleven

I don't know how, but I manage to leave the palace without being seen. It must be partly because my wolf was more in control than I was.

I take off my shoes and lifting the skirt of the dress I sprint toward my home. I wanted to run in my wolf form but I didn't want to risk someone finding my dress abandoned outside the palace. It would raise suspicion.

I growl lowly, clenching my jaw, trying to control my emotions but I was heartbroken and now I couldn't hold the tears anymore. I felt rejected, I felt abandoned, and the images of that night came rushing in front of my mind and I let out a scream.

There were a lot of emotions fueling my run and tears. Anger. Despair. Sadness. Pain. I could feel a heat that I have never felt before spreading around my chest and I started to get scared but held it in.

I run hidden by the shadow of the forest surrounding the kingdom and my pack. I didn't want anyone to find me. I felt humiliated. My own mate is going to mate with a chosen female and I felt embarrassed. I knew it was too good to be true.

Me? Mated with the royal prince? Ha! It even sounds ridiculous. How could I let myself fall for that?

I growl furiously, feeling the pain growing and spreading. It hurt so much! My wolf wanted to retreat into a silent and dark corner, but she also didn't want to leave me alone, because I am as hurt as she is. We only have each other. We always had. From the beginning.

When I arrive at the packhouse I run to my room to take everything off me and then jump out of the window of my room to shift into my wolf and start running again. I knew as soon as they realize I was gone, they will come looking for me here and I just wasn't ready to face anyone. I just disappointed my whole family. I picture their happy faces at the news that I have found my mate, none other but one from the royal family, someone close to the family. I just didn't want to see those smiles fading when they hear I wasn't wanted by my own mate. And I can't blame him.

Oh, Alec. My Alec. My beautiful prince charming.

That bitch was right. He would obviously choose someone like her, someone with a title and power. A lycan. Not a mere werewolf that spent almost half her life living like a human. I have nothing to offer to him. I would only bring disgrace to the royal family.

I growl with anger. Why didn't he tell me from the beginning? I would have tried to not get attached to him. I wouldn't have pictured our future together already. I wouldn't...

A growl comes out of me and stops dead in my tracks breathing heavily. My whole body was tense. I was hot all over, there was a warm sensation running through my body and I didn't know what that was. It made me feel more on edge, more furious.

Scared of this new feeling I shift back and hug my knees against my chest and hide my face in the hole that the position created and I cry.

I just wanted a stable life, one with not too many turns. I wanted to know what I am going to wake up to the next morning. Not knowing what tomorrow awaited scared the shit out of me. Everything was overwhelming and I felt like pulling my hair out.

I wanted my mate to comfort me, to hug me, to tell me that everything was going to be okay, but he is not here, and probably never will.

***

My wolf and I had a hard time getting our bearings, and it didn't occur to me that would be much more difficult for me to get oriented on my pack land. It is clear that the territory changed in the past decades. There were new scents, clearly. The vegetation grew and changed.

I knew it was selfish and unrealistic to expect everything to stay the same but... didn't expect to feel so foreign in my homeland. I felt like a stranger and it pained my wolf. Everything felt different, strange and I was so afraid to start all over. What if they reject me? What if my family doesn't like the person I have become? After all, I wasn't the innocent and gullible little girl of twelve anymore.

No. Now I have ghosts with me.

I guess it was just hard to get to the conclusion that everyone and everything moved on since my disappearing. Everything changed. Nothing was the same anymore and suddenly, I was overcome with sorrow.

I missed so much, so many experiences and memories with my family. I wasn't there when my brothers found their mates, I wasn't there to see their expressions. I wasn't there when Noah ascended to the alpha position, one of the most important days in someone's life. I wasn't there...

"I wasn't there!" I find myself screaming into the air. Breathing hard, I discover I was crying furiously. "It's all my fault!" I scream with all I got, and when that wasn't enough, I started punching a tree, barely aware of the scratches and my knuckles that were starting to bleed. "I did this to myself!"

Remembering how much hurt I brought my family with the consequences of my reckless action of going into the woods alone.

I was about to punch the tree's bark again when two strong arms surround my mid-section trapping my arms to my side.

"No! Let me go!" I yell struggling and kicking but the person behind me wasn't giving in. I stop fighting when I start feeling the sparks all over my body, enlightening my skin, and even if I should stayed away from him, I gave in to his touch just because I needed him to ease the pain in my heart.

I turn in his arms and bury my head in his chest, and cry like a little girl while he tightens his grip on me.

"Please" I beg between sobs. "Take the pain away".

I feel him kissing the top of my head, sighing.

"Shh" Alec soothes me "Everything will be fine. You are safe now. I'm right here" he comforts me with a soft voice.

I couldn't believe I had to swallow my pride because the only one that could ease the pain in my heart and calm my hurtful thoughts, was the person that broke my heart.

He picks me up and starts carrying me, I'm guessing to the palace. I stay in his arms reluctantly. I hide my face in his neck, too embarrassed to face anyone.

I don't move from my hiding spot, not even when I feel that air change signaling we weren't outside anymore. I just enjoy the feeling of his closeness and how insanely good he smelled. I only do when Alec deposits me on a cold surface making me yelp. I keep my eyes down, in a nonexistent spot on the white ceramic floor. I don't even try to cover my nakedness. It would be pointless. It was pretty clear he has already seen everything that was there to be seen.

I only raise my gaze when I feel him leaving the room and discover we were in a huge bathroom. Was it his? It was pristine white with some gold and black. It seemed to be equipped with the last technology and besides, it smelled like him.

I lower my face when he enters, drown in my dull mood. I felt a hole inside me, an empty space that a mate leaves when he or she rejects you.

He then proceeds to dress me up. First putting my arms through the whole of a shirt and then my head, and then he pulls up a pair of black and tight briefs over my legs and I instinctively push myself up so he could fit the briefs correctly.

My heart jumps and the butterflies in my stomach take flight. How am I supposed to not fall in love with someone that takes care of me so well and gently? Why is he doing this? I already know the truth!

But I say nothing, too tired and hurt to mutter a word.

Alec then proceeds to clean the wounds on my hands and I can't stop myself from crying silently. This was so painful, but I had no energy to fight him. I think I might need some type of closure if I wanted to bear the pain that comes with rejection, and I guess tonight we could have a proper goodbye. Maybe was that what he is thinking as well.

Alec must think I'm crying because of my damaged knuckles hurt, because he brings them to his mouth to kiss my wounds. I close my eyes, preparing myself to be tossed aside like nothing.

After he bandaged my hands, carries me back to a huge king-sized bed, where he lies me and covers me with the dark covert of the bed and follow me to hug me from behind, burring his face in my neck and I have to breathe in deeply, still shocked at the sensations he awakes in me.

"Why did you run away?" he asks in a low voice, kissing my neck. I don't answer. I just close my eyes and try to fall asleep. I hear him sigh. "You don't have to hide your pain from me" he says giving me a squeeze.

I say nothing.

That was what I was good at. Hiding my emotions, keeping all to myself. Is not because I didn't trust people, but because I didn't want to be a burthen. That and because I didn't have real friends I felt comfortable enough to tell my secrets to.

So that night I fall asleep in the arms of the only person that was meant to love me but wasn't willing to.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Are those hearts breaking that I hear?

Feel free to hate Elena, I hate her too (:

Do you have any thoughts you wanna share? I'm all ears! Or rather... I'm all eyes.... *laughs at her own bad joke*

How are you, by the way? I arrived from classes a little bit frustrated. These teachers now days want everything their way. Can't do a work how it's supposed to be but how it's supposed to be considering how he/she thinks and his/her thoughts! Arghhg

At least I arrive to my beautiful baby (my cat)