5. HIM AND MAMA

''Life is full of surprises, but this one was shockprising''.

I crawled towards the door, where the kissing sound was coming from. It was late at night but I was awake and was learning in the living room because I did not want to disturb my brothers' sleep. I was surprised when I heard those disgusting noises because, I thought everyone was asleep. Well, I had not checked Mama's room and I wished with all my heart that it would not be her, but if wishes were horses, beggars like us would have rode. As I got nearer, the sound became clearer, then I saw two feet, a man's and a woman's. I knew who those slippers belonged to, but I just wanted to be sure. With every courage I could muster, I looked briefly at their faces and quickly crawled back in horror. I knew it, I was right, it was her, it was Mama. I was not surprised though, I had seen her with that bulky man looking suspicious. I was just shocked that she would go as far as bringing him to our house. As meek as a mouse, I packed my books, turned off the flashlight I was using because I did not want to waste electricity, and walked slowly but steadily into the room I shared with my brothers. I laid gently between them and tried very hard not to cry. 'Has it not been just four years since Papa passed away?' I thought. 'Did Mama not loose her mind for a whole year out of the love she claims to have for him? How could she, his wife move on soo quickly whiles me, his daughter had still not recovered from the shock of losing him?'. 'Wait!'. I thought. Maybe I am dreaming and so I pinched myself sharply on my arm. ''Ouch!''. I exclaimed. ''It hurts''. I said, rubbing my arm. ''What hurts?''. Jay equivocated. ''Hush. It is nothing, go back to sleep''. I replied in a haste, scared that Mama would hear us. ''Okay''. He said going right back to sleep. ''Oh God!''. I breathed. ''What did I just witness? Was it a mistake? An experiment? A kissing spree? An ongoing or upcoming fling? What at all was that about?''. My brain was fried from the lack of answers to the questions cramped in my head. Two things were certain that night. One, It was going to be a long night since I was not going to be able to sleep and two, things are definitely not going to be the same again, it will probably be worse.

''Breakfast is ready boys''. Mama called, ignoring me as usual. Well for today, I was grateful for that. My name has sort of become a taboo and hearing it from her would have been a bad day. Since she only says it when she is in a bad mood. ''And girl''. Jay added. She appeared real calm and happy. 'Wow! This woman can pretend'. I thought and I kept wondering if last night was an illusion, but the red spot on her neck, a hickey, confirmed it was real. ''Someone is real quiet today''. Joe noted. ''I am glad she is learning sense''. Mama said. ''And it is soo sad someone seems to be losing hers''. I replied softly. ''Excuse me?'' She asked. ''You have got some mouth there, you little brat. Remember, I am still your mother and not some whore''. She smirked and that did it. I just saw red and the blood in my veins boiled with anger. I slammed my fists on the table, startling everyone and stood up. ''Not a whore you say, Mama? Then act like not one. Where the monkey's butt is your dignity? Wait let me guess, stacked away like Papa's books filled with cobwebs''. Mama swinged her arms to slap me, but thank goodness I had better reflexes and immediately dodged out her way. ''Excuse me?'' Mama asked again. ''I would not listen to you talk rubbish, you little demon''. Mama thundered. ''And neither would I''. I said, walking out on her. ''Come back and finish your food now''. Mama ordered. ''No thanks, I do not know what those hands of yours touched last night and I am not ready to catch some disease passed on by some bulky ass of a man''. I said whiles walking. ''What just happened?'' I heard someone ask behind me, but I did not turn to answer. I was furious and was shaking as well, so I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. Far away from my family, far away from my new old house, far away from my probably disease infested breakfast and far away from the stranger who was once my mother.

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I felt a hand on my leg, moving up to my thighs. I closed my eyes my tighter and wondered who it could be. My brothers had gone out for a football game and Mama was out with friends. I had less sleep last night and decided to take a nap this afternoon. I am a light sleeper and was really surprised when I heard footsteps in the room, but now, I am scared to feel foreign hands on my body. I was lying face down but strong masculine hands turned me around and I was now facing the predator. I felt hot breath on my cheeks and he spoke, ''I know you are awake, so open those nice legs for me and let's get it over with. I opened my eyes in shock. How dare him! My mother's new boyfriend. The bulky fool I caught with my mom, who has been staying with us for two months now.

I still remember that dreadful day, he first came. I had just turned fifteen and was relaxing on our little hill. Though we do not stay here anymore, I still come here from time to time to relax and think. It is a little far from home but it is worth the walk. I heard my name being called from a distance and I climbed down. Jay hugged me when he saw me and kissed me on the lips. We are grown ups now but he insists on doing that, because to him, I would forever be his little angel. ''Do not freak out okay? But there is something going on back home and you have to see it''. Joe said, freaking me out already. I followed them and when we got home, I heard a masculine laugh and looked at my brothers with questions in my eyes. ''Yes dear, it is him. The bulky man you told us about, we are awfully sorry for not believing you.'' Jay said, holding my hands. ''Not only is he a fool and pushy as you said, he is also obnoxious and rude. Joe added. We entered then and I was met with a gross sight. Mother sat beside him on the couch we brought when moving in. The one she ordered us not to go near it, not even her beloved boys. She was feeding him with her mouth and he had his filthy feet on my books on the table in front of him. ''Ew!'' I said out loud. Their laughter ceased and they turned to look at us. Mama stood up and so did he. ''So, this is my third born and only girl child''. Mama introduced me to the man. ''The one with the anger issues?'' He asked. ''The very one''. Mama replied, looking annoyed. ''Gosh, she is pretty as you, but hotter and will probably be more spicy''. He said licking his lips. I looked at him up and down and Jay's hands balled into fists but Joe stepped between us and thundered, ''Do not speak about her that way, you stupid son of a - ''. ''Dog''. Jay and I said in unison, cutting Joe of. We all waited for his reaction but he just clapped and laughed out loud with Mama joining him. ''Yo, Mama, you laughing too?'' Joe asked in disbelieve. ''Of course, I am son. He is just joking. Is he not a darling?'' Mama asked wrapping her arms around him. ''Darling my foot!'' Joe stomped and walked out with us trailing behind. I could not shake this feeling of being watched, so I turned and saw that pig staring me down. He just winked when he saw me looking at him and I felt weird. I had this feeling that made me feel scared, vulnerable and made me want to wear trousers, tight jeans anytime he was around. Guess today is his lucky day because I thought he had gone out and had taken a nap in one of Joe's big shirts. But little did I know the calamity that awaits me, that awaited us.

I struggled to get up, but he had me pinned down on the bed with his heavy weight. ''Be quiet and comply and I promise to be gentle''. He said smiling wickedly. ''Some guts you have, you snorty pig. Get off me now!'' I screamed but he just covered my mouth with his big hand and tore my shirt open, revealing the tube and shorts I wore underneath. I had not realized I was crying till I felt the tears enter my ears. ''Please. Don't do this, don't ruin my life this way. Please''. I tried pleading heartedly, but my voice broke. ''Why are you begging me? Is this thing not normal for teens? I thought you just turned fifteen, so why are you behaving this way?'' He foolishly asked. ''And so? Being a teenager does not make you a whore or some one who is willing to sleep or be slept with. Teenage is just part of growing up''. I wailed, but the bastard just laughed and continued with his evil deed. I was helpless and prayed fervently that someone, anyone would come to my rescue quickly. Luckily, the odds were in my favor and I heard the front door open. I took a deep breath and screamed my lungs out. He covered my mouth again but it was too late. The person quickened the pace and the door flung open. ''What is going on here?''. Mama asked in shock. I looked at her with scared, pleading eyes. It took her a few seconds to get was about to happen and when she did, she snapped. ''Get off my daughter you imbecile''. She shouted and tried with all her might to pull him off me. I saw anger flashed in his eyes and before I could warn her, he got off me, pushed her hardly and her head hit the wall. The impact was hard, blood started oozing out and I ran to her screaming her name. ''Mama, No!''. But she looked at me with pain and regret. She fell to the floor and I knelt besides her, placing her head on my laps with her blood coloring me red. '' I am sorry, my dear''. She whispered. ''Sorry for everything. I love you''. She said as she breathed her last and slipped out of consciousness. ''Mama, please look at me, talk to me, scold me, slap me anything you want just don't leave me please. Not you too''. I sobbed uncontrollably. ''Look at what you have made me do, you witch. But sadly, you won't live to tell this tale''. And with that being said, he pushed me onto the bed, squatted on me and started strangling me. I fought back with all my strength but his hold was tight and I couldn't breath. Soon I felt myself loosing consciousness too, then I heard a loud bang and the pig of a man fell off me. Jay hugged me tightly and Joe dropped the stick he was holding. ''Mama. He killed Mama''. I said in between sobs pointing to where she lay. They rushed to her and checked her pulse. ''No! Mama''. They cried in agony. With rage, I got up and took the stick, ready to smash the bastard's head to pieces. But Joe stopped me in time and I struggled against him. ''I will kill him. He tried to rape me and killed mother too. He deserves to die too. Leave me alone''. I said in anguish. Jay tried talking some sense to me but I heard a buzz in my ears and immediately felt like sleeping. I slumped to the floor and the last thing I saw was Mama's lifeless body with her face twisted in pain. 'Oh! Mama'. I thought as the darkness took over.