FRAGILE HEARTS-BOOK # 1: ROSES & THORNS45.10%

Chapter 43: Fear of the Past

I felt like I did something bad. I hurt someone before they could hurt me

He's a playboy, he's only playing with you... But is he though?

My thoughts confused me as I waited for Taylor to come see me. I closed my eyes and fell asleep on my couch before I felt someone put a cushion under my head and make me more comfortable. I opened my eyes slightly and saw Lance and Gareth.

I got up and sat straight to look at them.

"Hey.. Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you up." Gareth said as he sat down.

"It's okay I fell asleep waiting for Taylor."

"Are you okay?" Lance asked me, taking my hand and rubbing it softly.

I let out a breath and looked at both of them

"Not really.. I fucked things up... again." I told them and saw their expressions soften before Gareth opened his arms and I sat next to him while he hugged me.

"What did you do?" Lance asked me concerned, making himself comfortable in the couch across us.

"I'm afraid Lance. And I know you are too. I saw it in your eyes this morning and reality came crashing down on me." I said to him and he ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm not stopping you B, I'm just afraid... for you.. I saw you back then.. I can't see you like that again.. That's all." He answered and sighed. "And also because Adam Thorne is an ass." Gareth said and chuckled and I giggled.

"I saw the way he looked at you... the way you looked at him... It's not right for me to stop you. I trust your judgement, but I'm afraid for you." Lance said to me and tensed.

"I know.. I like him too. He told me he like me... And he asked me to be his real girlfriend and forget the whole whole fake-dating thing." I told him.

"Fake-dating?" He asked me and looked at Gareth who shook his head and then I remembered I hadn't told them about that, so I told him everything. They just sat silently and nodded.

"So now he asked you to be his real girlfriend? After one date?" Gareth asked me confused.

"Yeah.. I told him I needed time to think and he said okay." I told them and Lance visibly relaxed.

"Good. Don't rush into anything your'e not sure about. Okay?" Lance told me

I nodded at him.

"And as far as you say you fucked up, what did you do?" I sighed and told them everything including the fact that I told Adam that he was the problem.

Lance and Gareth sat silently then looked at each other before Lance spoke after a while.

"That's not good. If I know one thing, you didn't mean it. Tell him that. And as far as the past goes, forget about it. Move on. That's the only thing you can do. And I'll be with you every step of the way. Okay?'

I sighed and nodded. "Thank you so much.. I needed to hear this."

"I love you B, and I'm willing to destroy worlds to see you smile. That's how much you mean to me so trust me when I tell you this; everything is going to be okay." He looked into my eyes and I relaxed.

"I believe you." and I smiled at him, him smiling back at me.

I heard a chime on my phone and picked it up to see a message from Taylor and one from Adam. and I opened Taylor's.

"I'm so sorry Belle, I got caught up in work.. Can I come tomorrow?"

I told her it was okay and then taking a deep breath I opened Adam's message.

"I'm sorry for crossing the line."

I gulped and looked at Gareth looking at my phone screen with his jaw clenched. He looked up at me and gave me a small smile. "Answer him. And fix things."

I answered the message.

"I'm sorry for snapping like that. Can you come over to my place tonight? We need to talk about a few things."

I hit send and waited for an answer. The phone chimed and I saw his message.

"Alright. I'll be there at 8."

I closed my phone sighing and relaxing into Gareth's embrace.

"I have some work to catch up on. See you Gareth." Lance got up and left and didn't know when I fell asleep in Gareth's arms.

I woke up to someone clearing their throat and opened my eyes slightly to see Adam standing over me. I looked around, blinking a few times and saw myself lying beside Gareth on the couch. My back facing his chest while he slept peacefully with his arms around me, and my leg on top of his, a blanket barely covering us. It was a compromising position to be honest, and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks.

I whispered slowly. "Gareth... Gareth.. Wake up.." He turned a bit and looked at me before smiling then looking above his head at Adam staring down at us with his jaw clenched and anger clear in his eyes.

He groaned in frustration. "Belle, I can see the devil in my dreams. You're there too." He whispered to me and I giggled.

"You're not dreaming. I'm here. Get up." Adam said through clenched teeth making me chuckle and Gareth stirred, getting up slowly and holding me close so I wouldn't fall.

"I slept well, didn't you Bee?" He asked me innocently and I could feel Adam glaring daggers in Gareth's head.

"Hush Gareth. And get up, you've been drooling all over my couch." I laughed at him and shoved him away playfully when Adam cleared his throat again.

"I f I may have your attention, I need to speak with Rose immediately." He said and walked over to us.

Rose.. He called me Rose again.

"Alright, alright, I'm going." He got up and looked at me. "Fix it. I'll be in Arthur's room raiding his closet if you need me." I smiled at him before he left, facing Adam and giving him all my attention. He sat down on the couch opposite me and looked at me intently.

"Thank you for coming. I need to apologize first.. About how I acted today in the office. Something came over me and I didn't mean what I said."I said and looked at him.

"You didn't?" He asked me confused.

"No.. truth is.. I'm afraid.. of you.." I didn't look him in the eyes this time but I felt him come over and sit beside me. He spoke after a while.

"Why are you afraid of me?" He asked slowly.

I thought about my next words carefully. I didn't want to hurt him.

"You're amazing... and I can't stop thinking about you.. but... I'm afraid of caring and feeling more than I'm supposed to." When he didn't answer I continued on.

Time to rip the band-aid off.

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