4. Incident

When we arrive at school, it's already crowded. It's 8 am and school hadn't started yet.

Mark walks again with me inside, till he sees some friends and takes off. But I already had seen Shelly.

Taking my stuff from my locker. I go to my first class today. It's math, and I'm sitting in the front, till I feel so much pain in my stomach that I crimp inside. The teacher is looking at me but lets it pass and goes further with his class. I hear a girl screaming behind me that there is blood on my seat. The other students are all laughing at me. I see in a panic that the white dress that I am just wearing for the first time is soaked. The teacher screams at me to go to the nurse. With a head so red as a tomato, I walk to the class door. I hear everybody calling me "Bloody Rachel" with tears in my eyes I go to the nurse. The nurse is telling me that I have my period. I don't know a thing about a sort of period. When I told her that, she was shocked that I never had my period before. She tries to tell me what I can do to prevent the bleeding to go on my clothes, by some kind of insert that I have to put in my underwear. I look at my dress that's ruined.

The nurse helps me to take the blood out of it, and give me some spare clothes that she has in the locker behind her. The clothes are too big, but it's better than walking in a bloody dress. I step into the hallway, and everybody already knew about the accident. Shelly comes running to me to hug me.

"Why did you not use a menstrual pad."

The look on my face, let her shut up, and we go back to our next class. Again is Rob in the class, that had seen everything, and he was the one that started the rumor I heard from Shelly. I'm so ashamed, in the next class I try to hear behind the whispers and to concentrate on what the teacher is telling me, but I can't, only hear Rob and more rumors spreading about me. In the hallway, the next rumor from him is already lurking. I see Mark coming my way.

"Who told us that we are a couple?"

"What! I don't know."

"Father can't find this out, understand?"

But the rumor gets dirtier with the hour. He's thirteen years old! I'm not sleeping with him, what I yell at them. But he is also good-looking, he has almost the same looks as his older brother Rob, only he is not as muscular as his brother, they could have been twins. Only Pieter is looking different with his black hair, which is very short. All three boys have green eyes. But Rob's green eyes make me the weakest.

In the cafeteria, I hear everybody yet whisperer what happened today to me and the clothes that I'm wearing now, they are so big. That everybody laughs about it. When we are eating, the three of us. I see the beautiful guy walking to our table. He stops at Shelly's back and whispers some things in her ear.

"Stop it, Brian, no you can't get more money from me!"

He sees me looking at him, and he looks back at me.

"Is she the girl everybody is talking about?"

"None of your business, go back to your ass of a friend."

Not listening to Shelly, he takes place next to me.

"I'm Brian and you must be Rachel."

I knick with my head. And look desperate to Shelly. But before he can say a thing, Rob is standing behind him. And slaps him on the back of his head."

Come, they are losers. Exactly bloody Rachel there."

Rob is the only one that is laughing, Brian looks very uncomfortable from the words that Rob had said to me.

"I see you another time."

I don't look at him again, don't want any trouble with Rob, more than that I have now. The day passes by. Happy that I can go back home again. But when I stand with Mark, I see only us two standing waiting for Chris.

"Where are your brothers?"

He pointed his finger to Pieter that is kissing a girl, but when he sees the car of his father he goes to stand with us. Still not a sign of Rob. Chris is looking past us to see if Rob is anywhere. When we step inside the car, I feel the uncomfortable quiet out here. It's almost like everybody is tense that there is going to happen. At the house, we go all upstairs. When Chris screams upstairs that the food is ready, we walk all together downstairs. Here at the diner table, the temperature almost feels like freezing. Why is Rob still not home? All the boys eat fast food and go back to study upstairs, I think that they do that. They are so fast away. When Chris didn't have spoke and I feel he is very angry, I also walked upstairs. In the night, I hear screams from downstairs. I hear them throwing things. I want to go to see it. But Mark is at my door, he immediately throws my door back shut and takes me back to the bed. He is holding me when I hear beating and crying from pain. It's Rob that is screaming. I'm so afraid, of what happens.

"Father gets some time very angry Rachel, and Rob has gone too far this time."

I look at him in disgust.

"Why don't you guys do a thing? "

He looks at me as if I'm a fool.

"Rachel, he beats everybody that is standing in his way, this is the awful side of our father."

When the screaming is keeping echoing upstairs, I'm still holding Mark, scared of what he can do to me. I feel good in the arms of Mark, he feels so warm and comfy. He's taller than me, I feel a little puppy in his arms, he is younger but looks older than I look. When the loud noises stop, he runs again to his room. We can't be seen together if we get that treatment also as Rob gets. Back trying to sleep in my bed, it's hard. I still hear the voice of Rob in hurt in my head, echoing.

I hear my alarm clock the next day. Almost forget what happened last night until I see Rob passing me in the hallway. He had a broken lip and his eye is turning purple. He says nothing about what happened, and I don't dare to ask. At the table, everybody is dead silent. I was happy we all step inside to drive to school. Where I could escape the silence. In school, rumors of Rob and his broken lip and blue-eyed are going in the round. They are saying he was fighting at the bar. I don't dare to say anything. if Shelly asked me about it, I still keep shutting my mouth, what had happened last night. I don't want to be beaten up too. Shelly looks at my outfit and praised me for it. I looked at myself and indeed I look good, the short hair due I had finally figured out, how I can get it to look the best with it. I had taken some gel from the mall and laid it what messy, and it looks wild, but I feel great about it. Furthermore, I wear a yellow skirt with a white blouse, almost all buttoned to my neck. And my flat shoes are yellow also. Shelly wears jeans and pants with an overdressed big pull. Her brown hair is taken together in a ponytail. We walked together to the next class when her brother stops us again.

"Sorry, Rachel, that Rob is saying those things about you yesterday."

"When did you get a thought from yourself, your puppet," Shelly telling to her brother.

But he didn't listen to her.

"Forget about it."

Saying to him, he laughs at me and goes with us to the next class. Till Rob spots him and takes him with him to the back of the class. When that day passes, I'm waiting with Mark and Pieter for Chris to pick us up. Rob is not here again, what if what yesterday happened, today again will happen? But before Chris is here, I see Rob running to us. Not speaking of course to me, only to Pieter. When Chris finally arrives, I step in and go sit next to Rob and Mark on the other side of me. I feel Rob's thigh to mine, and it makes me warm inside. I have feelings I never felt before. Mark's thigh is also to mine, but for him, I don't feel butterflies, like with Rob. As we are home, I miss the feeling of Rob next to me. In my room, I try to dance a little before I go to sleep. But before I shower and go to sleep, I write first in my journal. Where I write about the feelings I had felt in the car for Rob, and what I feel for Marc only as a sister. Pieter and Rob, I hear whispering in Rob's room, and that can't be good. Rob hates me, and Pieter and I are not on good foot either.

As I walk downstairs to eat, it's so quiet at the dinner table that I still can feel the anger that Chris is feelings toward Rob. When we all walk upstairs, Rob is pushing me to the staircase, where I almost fell if Marc didn't catch me up. What an ass! Why do I feel those things for him? I had never kissed a boy before, why have I these feelings for a boy whom I never can be with? Because I live with him that's point number one, and he's an ass point number two and of course, he hates my point number three. I go to sleep and wake up by the alarm clock, and I go for a shower and return to my room.

It feels that something is wrong, but I can't tell what. With a feeling in my gut that something is going to happen, I go to school.

And of course, I see everybody again laughing at me. What did Rob now do? Not long after I see the girls laugh, I see where they're laughing at. I hold a paper from my diaries in my hand. Not the one where I tell about my feeling for Robert no, one where I tell my feelings for Marc.

Dear Diary;

I love Marc, he makes me feel at home here. We are now living together, and he makes it here for me bearable, not like his brothers that make a fool out of me. He is sweet and comforts me when I cry or feel bad about what they did or do to me. But I can't just say what my feelings are, but they feel pleasant. Oh, no! Not that. That's just a part of the story where I tell in the next chapter that my feelings are like a sister, and not as a lover. How can he do this to me, if Chris finds this out? He would hurt me and Marc. But Marc did nothing wrong, but be there for me. Marc walks with the page he found on the ground to me.

"What's this, Rachel?"

Oh no, he is not angry, I hope.

"Rob stole a page of my diary, I'm so sorry."

"Do you love me?"

"Not in that kind of way, but of course, he had that page not spread around the school."

He laughs at me hugging me, what another rumor is spreading about? That I have a loving relationship with my brother, but he is not really my brother even. Everybody is looking if I'm nasty and a hooker.

"Don't let them break you! Ok?"

I nod and he goes back to class. When I step into the class, everybody stopped talking, and I walk straight to Rob.

"How could you! Did you read all of my diaries?" He laughs and winks at me.

"Yes I did, and there are more sexy thoughts about my brother, maybe I spread them tomorrow."

I'm getting angry! I want to slap him, but before I can, the teacher yells at me to go out of the class to the principal. In the office with the principal, I take a seat in front of him.

"Hello miss. Johnson."

I look at the principal with my face pointing to the ground.

"I hear you are misbehaving in class and also want to hit a student."

My eyes are still pointed at the ground, and he goes further lecturing me, of all the papers that were spread and that mister Williams has let me into his house and I must have some respect for that.

"Oh and misses Johnson, this is your first time. I'm going to let you go without any penalty, but you have to promise me you're going to behave."

I nod and go straight out of the door. To go back to class. Rob wants to tell me something, but I don't want to listen to him.

From now on I stop listening to him! He can't get me in more trouble than I already had. I have to step up to him, but not now, Later.