The house is eerily quiet when I entered, but I didn't mind. There are so many things that are going inside my mind to even bother.
It seems to me like I'm carrying the weight of the entire galaxy. It felt like my chest would explode any minute now. This is all Lance's fault. If he didn't come back, I would never feel the need to runaway. Or, would I?
Who am I kidding? I felt it even before he mercilessly stepped inside my world again. I already know that I can't possibly lie to Rico about how I feel. But I can never bring myself to cancel the wedding, or more importantly, hurt Rico.
With a shaky sigh, I slouched in the sofa near the fireplace and embraced my knees, keeping myself together.
"Irish? Honey?" I heard mom whisper beside me. I didn't respond. I don't have the energy to talk about the flowers, catering, gowns, and all the other details of the wedding. I needed to be alone.
Then, I felt a movement on the space beside me, my mom probably sat there.
"What's the problem?" mom asked and caressed my hair. I looked up and faced her, my tears welling.
"Mom… I can't take it anymore!" I cried out loud, sobbing. "Why did he have to come back? He left me! He left me for unknown reason; he didn't make his presence known for eight years! Eight years mom! He didn't even write or tried to keep in touch with me! Mom… I almost died from despair! And when everything is okay, he has to come back… he has to make me feel that I still love him! Why?" I broke down, feeling the need to cut open my chest and rip my heart out just to lessen the pain. Mom hugged me tight as I cried on her shoulder. We cried together.
"This is all my fault…" she whispered. Pulling away, I looked at her, confused. She sighed hard. I felt something weird from the way she looked, like something I didn't want to hear, or something that will definitely ill the last of what's left in my heart. With tears running down her cheeks, he explained.
"Honey… please… don't despise me for this… I only want what's best for you… and at that time, I thought that what I'm doing for you is for your own sake… I can see now that I was dead wrong… it did the opposite…" she stopped and searched my eyes for the strength to say the next words. I just kept silent.
She stood up and walked nearer to the fireplace and crossed her arms as if she's cold, her back facing me.
"Eight years ago, a week before Lance left… I asked him to meet me at a diner…" she stopped shortly. I remember that these words are the ones that Lance said back at the church but didn't manage to continue. A chill stung me with its sharp fangs, fearing for her next words, but I don't know why. With trembling voice, she told me what really happened before.
FLASHBACK
It was a fine afternoon on October; Mrs. Rivera called Lance and asked him to meet her. Overjoyed, Lance immediately complied, oblivious to the cold way Blaze's mom talked to him. He knows for a fact that her mom doesn't like him, but he never told Blaze about it, because her mom acts differently when she's around.
That day, he thought that Mrs. Rivera finally accepted him as Blaze's boy friend, only to be tangled in an agreement that he didn't even want to be a part of.
He came an hour earlier before the agreed time. The afternoon sun is shining on a 75 degrees angle on the clear sky. He took that as a good sign. After 50 minutes of waiting, Mrs. Rivera finally showed up. Lance smiled as wide as he can and pulled her chair for her.
Without acknowledging his chivalry, she took her seat wearing a cold look. Lance just shook it off and went back to his seat.
"Let's just get to the point…" she suddenly said, looking away. "I called you and asked to meet here to say just one thing…" she continued. Lance seem to feel where their conversation is heading by the way he froze.
"Stay away from my daughter…" she added with conviction, using all the power her cold eyes have over him. Lance's throat went dry.
"M-ma'am I…" he tried to reason out but was cut off by Mrs. Rivera.
"I know how much you love my daughter, and I appreciate that…" she said softly but firmly, "But what kind of future can you possibly give her? I don't want to be rude… but what can your amateur piano skills bring my daughter? You don't even have a college degree…" she continued. Her words struck Lance like falling tons of bricks from the sky.
"M-ma'am… I love her… I'm willing to give her anything, everything in my power… I'll work hard just to deserve her…"
"Hmm… okay… I'm not that cruel you know? That's why I'll give you an ultimatum…" she handed him a heavy paper. He gulped hard as realization slowly sank in him. It was the approved scholarship application from the Julliard School for the arts where he applied. They already emailed him and said that he passed and he just has to wait for the approved papers. He wracked his brain for reasons on how Mrs. Rivera got her hands on those papers.
"Avail this scholarship, without telling Irish about it of course… come back here with that diploma, I'll welcome you with open arms, and approved of you to be my son-in-law…"
"Ma'am… I can't possibly do that… I have already decided, even before knowing about this scholarship… Blaze, I can't leave her…"
"Yes you can… this is for her own sake… and if you really do love her, you will…" her words were like knives slashing Lance, but he stood up for himself and for Blaze's as well.
"Ma'am, I know that you are doing this for Blaze…but ma'am, I know that she will be hurt… she might be a total wreck if I leave… ma'am, for her sake… I will stay…" he said without tearing his gaze off of Mrs. Rivera. Sighing hard, she answered sternly.
"Well, whatever you say… but either way, you'll be apart from each other… I'll take her away… send her to another country… and I tell you, YOU WILL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN… so choose…" she stopped shortly and placed her hands on the table, making sure that he would understand her next words.
"Leave, be back and be together again, or stay, and I'll take her away forever… that's the only choice you have…" she continued. Lance seem to be trapped between a deep ocean and a scorching dessert, either way, whatever he choose, both of them will be hurt, both of them will suffer. He felt his chest tighten as the tears threaten to fall, feeling so helplessly torn, he answered.
"Ma'am, just… please make sure that she'll be okay… don't let anything bad happen to her… I'll be back… I'll surely come back for her…" after saying those tearful words, he stood up with his head hanging low, took the papers, and stalked out of the diner.
That's the start of the never-ending rain in both of their lives.
END OF FLASHBACK
She finished the story with tears soaking her blouse. And I? Well I couldn't look away, nor could I make any sound or reaction or something. I looked at my mom with puffy red eyes, willing and pleading her to say that all of that was a joke, that Lance just left because he wants to.
Mom tried to reach for my hand but stopped when I flinched.
"H-how? W-why?" we're the only words I managed to croak while shaking my head no. I took some steps backward, willing my legs to runaway, far from all these things, far from all the hurt and tears.
Without a second thought, I ran towards the door and out of my home, knowing there is only one place I wanted to go.