43. Blur (6)

I and Toni stumble into the apartment after somehow properly ransacking her purse for the keys. Black-one greets us with a bark.

"Sh… go back to sleep," Toni shushes him.

"You sound very drunk," I chuckle.

"Right? What a great moment to do… something… crazy," she says while bopping her head sideways at each word.

"I'm in. Fuck it. We don't really get to enjoy that much."

"I know… what a waste!"

"Let's do something crazy. But no one gets hurt."

"Ugh! Come on, Varon! You don't trust me?"

"Nope."

"Ah… fine. I agree. It can involve a little pain."

"As I suspected. You naughty, naughty… girl."

"But it'll be quite nice to do."

"Do what?"

"I want to lose my virginity, as planned."

"Ring-ring… Skott. Where are you?"

"Not Skott," Toni says in a normal tone, and I look at her.

"What?" I ask, even when I understood and feel myself pulling towards her, in a blur.

We enter her room while kissing each other. Our hands shivering and moving at each other's sides of the face. And our lips… there was no way in my dashing mind, to give a sentence to define it.

I push her down to her bed, and she lets me. My hands try to leave her face but I was too afraid to… even when I felt my own drunk state, now fading because of her.

"No," I say, while moving my hands ever so slightly and pushing my lips away just for a split second from hers. "Toni," I say and push my hands to her chest. "This…"

We stop kissing and gasp at each other's faces. Toni more than me.

"Are you scared that you'll hold them too hard? I feel nothing, you aren't really holding them," Toni says, staring between my hands and my face.

I just wiggle my fingers as if attempting to… but I was unable to let myself to. But I stare towards her dressed chest.

"I'm not sure," I say.

Toni holds my chin, lifting my face up. And she pecks a few times with barely a moment in between. Then she kisses in between both my lips, bopping to my upper lip, and I feel like biting her lower lip, feeling the plump dancing at mine.

I hold the sides of her waist, and she holds me by my shoulder to move back and forth from the rhythmic kiss. I grip at her pants, in a position to push them down and remove them in a swipe, while she holds the centre of my shirt: wanting to rip it open from sideways… I don't mind. But both of us fail to do it.

"So close," Toni says, not blinking her eyes and looking into mine. "So fucking…" her hand slides towards my waist, and I hold my breath. "Close."

"Are we stopping?"

"Just a pause. I'm not sure if we can stop."

"Let's…" I say, switching my urge and pushing her pants upwards, and push her a little away from me. "Let's pause then."

"I think I'm sober."

"I'm still wanting to lose my mind," I whisper.

"We are so close."

"It'd be so simple to just… rip our clothes and do it."

"So easy… even if one of us just thinks on it for longer than the other. So doable."

"Then why aren't we? Is it because of Antonia? I could… I could just… I want this more. Even if it is just me of this moment who thinks so."

"Come here," Toni grabs my hand.

I go ahead and kiss her lips again, but as I reach to her face, she slaps it away.

"No touching," Toni strictly warns.

She holds both my hands and I fall forward to kiss her. We grip at each other's hands tightly. I almost feel myself putting all the strength I could in it. I could easily just leave this grip and… do more than just this.

Toni pushes me to her side and makes me fall on the bed. She moves up my thigh… and taps on it.

"Sit up."

I shake away the few ideas I get, and sit up. Without moving too close to her.

"We can… do it. But… would it be worth it?"

I just… don't have an answer. "You'd want the first time to be better."

"This is a treat," Toni says. "You are… everything I could want or wish for with all my present knowledge. But… what all options are there?"

"Quite… a lot?"

Toni nods. "We have all night," she says, making me feel a little shiver. "But can we really go all night?"

"You… are suggesting we do?" I feel my blur but I squeeze it out of me.

"I'm not sure… I surely want to. But could we really?"

"There always is tomorrow."

"Thought of it… but what if we fill with regret? What if this right here… this night is all we have, Varon?"

"What are you suggesting?"

"Let's weigh our options… talk about all that we can do."

"You mean…"

"What all can we continue after the kiss? Let's paint the picture and… make it all we could surely want. We have all night…"

"I want to… weigh my body on yours."

"That's so lustful," Toni chuckles. "Is that all you got?"

"I can't think straight, Toni."

"Fine… I'll take the weighing your body on mine as the answer."

"You mean… we are going to start with that?"

"I'm not sure I want to be… under. Or over, per say. How about…" Toni says and looks at me while pondering. "Sit your back against the top-end of the bed, at the wall."

I do that, and Toni crawls to sit upon my lap.

"Toni… can I touch you?"

"Not really. We are… weighing our options. Before you can weigh your body."

"Then why are we…"

"I'm explaining it to you… practically. I want to be able to look at you… neither while looking up or down. Face-to-face. It feels like we both are equals, if you don't mind me saying that."

"It feels like a good position."

Toni presses her palm below my chin… lifting my head, and starts kissing me.

"Easy to reach the lips. Quite close and far. Nice, isn't it?"

"But I think my legs should be lifted," I say and arc an upside-down V with my legs. "And yours should…" I say and push her legs behind me, where she almost forms the same shape, but with more… wider spread legs. "This way."

"You get the idea… is it okay to be this way? I feel your… bulge. Not inappropriate, considering everything… but, does it feel uncomfortable, because I'm sitting?"

"No… you have to sit on it later anyway."

"We will see about that," Toni strictly says and continues kissing me.

"The way you hold against my chin and kiss…" I say, and Toni looks at me. "It feels… nice. As if you are savouring it, as if it is something sacred."

"I'm glad you like it. But let's test…" Toni says and moves up and down on my legs. "This way… slow… but fast… pacing as it feels right, when we're at it."

"I would lose control and push faster," I confess.

"You can… and end it. But do you want to end it?" Toni asks and throws a kiss.

"You testing my libido?"

"You're drunk… and so am I. How long can we even find for this? Let's not take our chances… I wouldn't really love that."

"I would love to give you a hickey. Can I give you a hickey?"

"Are you asking? Well, I'll answer it after I give you one…"

Toni moves to my neck and breaths there, making my neck tingle. Then she kisses once, and bites the bottom of my ear.

"That's biting, not a hickey."

"Well, show me how to then."

"Not your neck. I'd give you a hickey at other places… places which would shine with red marks around them. Places I could savour with a hickey… places you'd love my ideas on."

"Well, show me where," Toni says and goes to lift her top off, but I hold her hand.

"Let's not just get naked and test our control."

Toni smirks. "I'm quite curious if you'd really lose control when looking at me naked. You couldn't even… hold them."

"I could hold it all you want, when we are doing it."

"Now we are getting to the talk… let's keep the pace. I want one of your hand on my stomach, pushing me backwards whenever I move forward."

"That seems like the right thing to do. But grip me enough so that I can still hold your breasts… or I might be struck to your back."

"You should've held them when you had a chance," Toni puts her tongue out and teases me. Then we get to twisting our tongue together.

I put my hands to her chest, and she doesn't protest. She places her palms on my chest too. But I hold her from her back.

"I'd eat you out," I declare.

"After you put your own dick in me? That sounds gross," Toni chuckles.

"I don't care. I'd go with the moment. I want to just eat you out."

Toni scales my eyes, to see if I really meant it maybe. "I do wonder too… it seems gross to put such a thing in my mouth… but I've wondered."

"Maybe we can do it at a time, to not feel lesser. It is possible, you know."

"But where's the fun? If I'm going to do it… I want to be sure you're pleasured. I'd want to know how you feel at each moment of it."

"I wonder how I'd make you feel too. I want to eat you in a way that you want to push away from it… so I have to hold your legs to hold you steady… making sure you don't push away. Making sure you are well sated. I want you to still try to escape from my grasp, because it feels uncontrollable. I won't let you. I wonder… how you'd sound."

"I think I really want that right now," Toni says, kissing my lips like the very first time we had… as if it is all we want.

I hold the back of her head and push forward… bending her down to the bed again.

"This is a face-to-face too… in a way. And I don't have to worry about holding you from your back."

"I would allow it."

"I think after here is when I would go down on you… kissing your whole body like it is a piece of art."

"Endearing."

"You smell nice," I say.

"Then… are you hungry? You could begin."

I push Toni's top up… and feel my blur again. So I kiss her again to let it be the last thing I could remember, if that was inevitable. And when I do… I see something from the corner of my eye, as I make my move to go lower. But I had other intentions… to continue.

"Let's make the most of the night," I say.

"I'm waking you up if you sleep."

"I'll be sure to continue as much as I can. But don't think I'll go very easy. You've messed my mind quite a lot."

"That was the plan," Toni says and pushes me. "Let me understand this first."

"Toni," I say, feeling my face heat up even after all of that… and Toni rules over my impending blur. Losing my mind over her. "I really will make you cry at my turn."

---

(Speed) Pack fact 10:-

This is the last chapter of this Season.

See you next Season! Wait on the Epilogue!