Lick and stick

***Taylor's POV***

Ross gets out his papers and places one in between my fingers he then places the tobacco inside. He pulls out a small tin and puts some of that powder on top of the tobacco.

He places his hands around mine and shows me the motion.

"So like this you just kinda pinch it between your fingers" he says

"Make sure you move up and down and roll the whole thing" he instructs

"Perfect" he says watching me. I smile over at him.

He watches my hands for a few minute and I get insecure, am i doing it all wrong ? He smiles eventually and placed his hands back over mine again.

"Okay now you should be good to fold it under"

He shows me how to do it and then unravels it slightly and lets me copy.

"a bit tighter babe" he says. Something about him calling me that jogs my head. Where is Matty? I wonder. Maybe I should look for him.

I try again and roll it over, it's good.

"Now all you have to do is lick and stick" he says.

I lick it and it's done.

He takes it from me inspecting it. Turns to me smiling. "Perfect, you're a quick learner"

He lights it up, passes it straight to me and I take a pull. I remember the sting and burn of it. Ross has resumed his position laying back rubbing my back. We spend the time chilling with each other, sharing silly jokes and inevitably talking books.

Eventually Matty comes into the kitchen again, I don't know how much time has gone by. His leather jacket is back on and he swoops his hair back.

He comes over to us giving nothing away.

"Let me know when you wanna make a move babe" he says when he reaches me.

"I rolled this" I say to him showing him my creation. I feel like a child looking for approval.

"That's your first roll!?" He says amazed.

He takes it from me and I feel like I just earned a gold star. He takes a pull.

"Perfect babe" he says.

"You should have seen my first, Ross taught me and it was shocking. Un-smokable." He laughs with Ross.

"She's a great learner" Ross says

"Patient" he continues "and a good listener"

I lean forward slightly and Ross sits over.

I yearn for Matty to tell me what's going on and why he was gone so long. I feel incredibly needy.

But for now we just share the smoke I made. Matty sits on the counter at one side of me, hand resting on my thigh. Ross the other side drink in hand. I do not demand Matty tells me anything, I do not mention it at all, this is not the right time whatsoever plus he seems a little tense. He relaxes next to me and moves his hand up and down my thigh feeling my tights and playing with them.

"Can I rip them off" he chuckles clearly forgetting that Ross is literally right there, or just not caring whatsoever.

I pass Ross the cigarette. I feel like I'm two timing both of them right in front of each other maybe I'm going to need to distance myself from both of them. Surely not, I can't.

I lay back slightly, on the wall contemplating how I got here. To this place in my life. Now 18 years old and sitting on a kitchen counter smoking and drinking in between two guys laps. How is this going to work when uni starts?

I can't possibly do this when study starts.

I turn to look at Matty, "right now I really wouldn't mind whatsoever, had you of asked me like 4 hours ago I would of said no" I laugh. Maybe I'm high. I have never been high. I've never had drugs.

It's completely the most chilled I've ever been in my life, I feel like I'm melting. I don't know the time, I don't know where I am, I am just here. In the moment.

He laughs, it's a beautiful sound.

He pulls at my tights playing with them. It feels oddly nice.

"Are you all good?" I ask him

"Me don't worry about me? How are you babe" he says back.

"I'm great Ross kept me company and he showed me how to roll" I say placing my spare hand on Ross' knee.

"I'll bet he did" Matty says

No I didn't mean it like that. I can't take it back. I want to amend what I said. I don't want him thinking I was flirting with him. Was I?

Well he left me for ages, what was he doing?

"So what's the plan babe, you know it's like half 12" he says to me

"I want to dance" I say back to him without any thought.

He laughs.

"You are more than welcome to do that again, you wanna do that here or at mine? My mum called me to tell me she was off to Steve's and some other stuff" Matty admits.

So he was talking to his mum, the whole time? I don't know where the others are, Jen has disappeared. Malachi, Rhea and Pippa and Rach are dancing around the kitchen.

"Both" I say to him.

He chuckles.

"You can stand okay right?" He lowers himself off the counter to grab my hand and steady me as I've already started to try and get off.

He takes me over to Rhea, who welcomes me in a big hug. We begin dancing.

Matty goes to leave, "no not happening" I tell him pulling him close to me.

"You are not leaving me here again" I whisper in his ear.

Ross comes over his shirt is now off.

Matty obliges smiling at me, he takes off his leather jacket and Rhea whoops at him chanting take it off. My head falls back with laughter.

Matty watches my hips swaying and pulls me into him holding me by my waist.