A proper I love you

I've never seen Matty act so refined, taking me to art shops and holding my hand through cobbled streets.

We arrive at the next place on Matty's list of things to show me today. Going in I see the walls are lined with guitars, electric and acoustic. On the ceiling there are Violins and violas hanging down and I briefly think how daring the owner must be to hang them from their scrolls at that height considering their value.

There are stacks of sheet music from all genres of classic to rock and modern.

And of course there is a large grand black piano on a raised platform at the back in the corner, not looking ostentatious at all. A note on the top reads "please feel free to play". It makes me smile.

Seeing me smile like all my dreams have come true Matty laughs.

"You're fucking beautiful" he whispers really quietly in my ear.

"I love that expression" he says.

"Even more when I've put it there" he chuckles. Briefly kissing me on the lips before letting me run loose in the shop.

I end up trying out a few of the guitars. I do take advantage of the feel free to play sign and give the piano a go, I mean I briefly learnt a small amount when I took piano lessons when I was younger. Matty sits next to me. Watching my fingers touch the keys.

"I mean is there anything that you can't do" he chuckles. I try to show him some basic scales and he places his fingers under mine trying so hard to get it right. I think it's probably the sweetest he's ever looked concentrating and focusing on what he's doing.

I end up purchasing a few books and some plectrums. All to practice with for when I'm sitting in Matty's kitchen later.

When we leave I feel like I'm on a high. He kisses me outside the shop and I'm sure we have given the young shop clerk enough to be embarrassed about for a few years.

"You hungry yet?" he asks me smiling.

"Yes I could definitely eat, but please let me get this one" I tell him.

"I'm buying you lunch" he smiles "don't argue with me I will win" he laughs and winks at me.

He takes me to a small cafe down the road. We order our lunch it is delicious and the we sit for a while outside, him with a black coffee and me with a diet coke.

He lights my cigarette for me and then his own.

"This place is a dream Matty" I tell him.

"It's nice right babe, I thought you would like it" he laughs.

"You're not like everyone else you don't always have to be in a busy place with internet access and your phone on at all times" he continues.

"Yeah I like it a lot I feel relaxed here" I say.

"I like seeing you smile in case you hadn't noticed" he says.

"Well you usually succeed in doing that mostly all the time" I laugh.

"Taylor?" He says tentatively after a pause.

What's he going to say this sounds important. My tummy starts flipping. And blood rushes to my face.

I'm sure I just flushed bright red.

"Yes" it's such a weak response but it's all I can muster. I know him so well already, yet he still makes me nervous at times.

He turns to face me and holds my hands in his. Please don't hurt me I think. I can't take that now after all of this.

"I think you are the most beautiful person I've ever met and that still doesn't cover it. I know that we are young and only 18, I get that we haven't known each other long either. But I've never met anyone that I click with like I do with you." He says and I think I'm about to cry. Yet again happy tears.

"I always want to know what you're thinking when you go quiet. It's maddening that I can't always tell what you're thinking. I don't think I've met anyone that I've wanted to impress so much" he laughs.

"And I know I am nowhere near a perfect guy. But I don't want to ever lose what we have. You completely ground me, when everything was going crazy the other day and I felt like I'd fucked everything up you kept me together. You literally make me a better person Tay" he says.

I start to cry, I have no emotional control when he's like this. I want to touch him and tell him how I feel but I will let him finish first.

"What I'm trying to say is I love you. So much. I hope that's enough. I'm really shit with words but I mean them when I say them. I want to be with you in every way and I would be honoured if you would call me your partner. I have thought of us as exclusive for ages but I'm shit at properly expressing myself" he says. "So yeah I said I told you I would make it up to you, you deserve a proper I love you, you deserve to remember this moment rather than have it mixed in with all of the drama." He explains green eyes watching mine. He swoops his hair out of his eyes.

I feel lost for words. I pull him towards me and kiss him. Not sure I could feel closer to him. I don't think I realised how much I needed to hear him say any of this until now.