Up on the rooftop, Gerald sat dejectedly against the wall, throwing daggers at Zurra with his eyes.
"You know, Zuri, blackmail is the lowest form of persuasion."
Zurra gave a self-satisfied smile as she fanned herself with the worn Mead spiral notebook she held in her hands. Flipping it open to a frayed page, she read aloud. "'I am half-dragon and half god, with just one of my little fingers I can punch through planets, my muscles are so big not even death can contain me, I am Amazing All-Powerful Super-Muscley Manly Man!...'"
"Okay, okay, that's enough," Gerald called out, his face bright red.
"Such marvelous prose for a grade-schooler," she teased.
"I thought that thing disappeared years ago."
"It did, right into my hope chest."
"You always did have sticky fingers."
"Do I?" Zurra stuck her thumb and forefinger together, then pulled them apart like taffy.
"Very funny, so what do I have to do to keep this off the school network?"
She held out the Tupperware happily. "You can start by eating the lunch I made for you."
Gerald cracked it open and examined the pleasantly steaming contents. Sweet and Sour Chicken, ham-fried rice, and steamed vegetables. Gerald poked at it suspiciously with his fork. "You realize I'm breaking my fast for this?"
Zurra cleared her throat and cracked open the book again. "'He screamed and became even more powerful, his muscles doubling in size. His enemy fell to his knees; he knew he could never beat him. A thousand princesses wept at his feet. You have ruined us. We can never be satisfied with any other man now. He leapt atop a great black spider and rode her like a mount...'"
"Okay, okay, stop it!"
Zurra grinned cutely. "Don't bite the hand that burns the bridge."
"Man, I can't believe how painful it is to hear that stuff read out loud."
"You've always been like this," she said with adoring eyes. "You can weather the hatred of the whole universe without flinching, but threaten to expose your private writings and you curl up like a pill bug."
"'Like a pill bug?' That isn't even a saying. Where do you get this stuff?"
Zurra smiled lovingly as she rolled up the notebook and placed it in her pocket, then handed him a spork.
"Hey, a KFC spork," Gerald said, brightening up. "I haven't seen one of these in years."
"I have all sorts of earth stuff back in my room. Come by later and I'll show them to you."
"Let's just have lunch for now," he cautioned.
"For now," she emphasized. "He who lives by the sword will pay the piper."
Gerald scooped up a piece of chicken and placed it in his mouth. He chewed it cautiously, then his expression brightened.
"How is it?" she asked worriedly.
"It's good."
"Really?"
He nodded. Yeah, it's really really good, actually. You've gotten a lot better."
Zurra squeaked with joy and hugged him around the neck. "I told you I'd practice. I haven't forgotten our promise to one another."
"Promise, wha..."
He was cut off when she tried to kiss him on the lips.
"Zuri! Stop, wha... what are you doing?"
The Tupperware fell from his hands, the contents spilling on the ground. After a moment of struggling, he finally managed to place his hand in between her face and his.
"What's wrong?" she asked, hurt.
"What's wrong? Are you trying to get me arrested or something?"
She released him and tilted her head like a puppy.
"You're just a kid. People see you trying to kiss me they'll think I'm some pedophile or something. I'll spend the rest of my life in the spice mines of Kessel or whatever they have around here."
She threw her head back and laughed. "Is that all?"
"Is... that... all?" he asked as she laughed. "Yes, I'd consider a lifetime of incarceration to be a very big thing."
She was laughing so hard she could barely breathe. "No," she said, shaking her head. "I mean this."
She reformed herself into an older version of herself. Still completely pink, she now looked like a human female in her early twenties wearing overalls.
"See? Problem solved."
Gerald was stunned. Watching the tomboy he grew up with suddenly change into a beautiful woman was something his brain was completely unprepared for. What had been scraggily hair was now long, silky femininity. What were once cute little freckles on her nose and cheeks were now a sultry dusting on beautiful, glowing skin. The overalls had resized themselves along with her, but now their hard straight lines strained deliciously, hinting at soft curved hips beneath.
She hooded her eyelids in that irresistible way that made his heart pound in his chest. She arched her back naughtily, emphasizing her deliciously soft curves. "Is this better?" she asked, her voice now low and husky, yet still enchantingly feminine.
"H... holy cow," was all he could say. He was blushing from head to toe.
Leaning forward, Zurra closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his. He yelped in surprise, but she wrapped herself around him, enveloping him in a blanket of pink as she kissed him passionately.
When she finally released him, he was frozen in place.
Zurra giggled. "I can feel your heartbeat."
Gerald looked confused.
"Was that your first kiss?" She tittered at his awkwardness
Gerald struggled and she released him. "Of course it was!" he said, trying to catch his breath.
"Did you like it?" She asked with a naughty smile
"Honestly?" He asked, wiping his mouth off with his sleeve.
"Honestly."
"It was amazing."
"I knew you'd like it," she said with an impish wink
"...which is why I'm never doing it again."
"Wha?"
"I'm training to be a priest, you idiot! That's where my focus is. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to confession."
Gerald got up and ran off, leaving a very confused Zurinite behind.
"Huh... well, that is a reaction I wouldn't have expected," she said aloud.
Zurra grinned devilishly. "But, as long as I have this, I can make him do whatever I want."
She cackled maniacally and thrust her hand in her pocket, but found nothing.
"Hey, where'd it go?" She looked around fruitlessly. "When did he?"
* * *
As Gerald ran across the quad, he tossed the mead notebook into a waste receptacle. There was a flash from within as the paper was atomized.
* * *
"Oh, that sneaky sneak!" Zurra yelled back on the rooftop.
She rolled back into a ball and paced back and forth. "Guess that just means I'll have to try harder." She paused and formed a fist that thrust up defiantly into the air. "All good things come to she who makes the fat lady sing!"