Grass eater

At the end of morning classes, Cha'Rolette had barely begun levitating her tablets into her backpack when Zurra rolled over to her desk and again took on the shape of a twelve-year-old girl.

"What do you want?"

Zurra locked her fingers behind her back and rocked from side to side adorably. "I think we got off on the wrong hoof, I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier."

The other students nearby nodded to each other, considering this a reasonable thing to say. Somewhat odd, but reasonable.

Cha'Rolette looked her over suspiciously, then sighed. "I suppose it is the responsibility of the elite to give an example of patience to the commoners."

Zurra tapped a control on Cha'Rolette's desk, indicating they wanted to have a discreet conversation. The floor formed up around them into a privacy chamber.

As soon as they were out of sight, Zurra's countenance changed. She slammed her hands down on the desk.

"Are you ready for round one?" She smirked confidently.

Cha'Rolette was unaffected. "Are you trying to pick a fight with me?"

"Oh no," Zurra said, waving her hand. "Because if I did, you would lose."

Cha'Rolette gave a mental snort. "I am a Ssykes. We do not allow ourselves to be goaded into action by some vagabond bourgeoisie. If you must compete, you'll be doing it alone."

Zurra crinkled her freckled nose. "Good, I'll have that printed on our wedding invitations after I steal Gerald away from you."

Cha'Rolette snarled. "You... you... little ball of snot. Do you realize I could, with the slightest effort, erase your memories, or make you think you're a toadstool for the rest of your life?"

Zurra laughed. "Go ahead and try it." To emphasize her point, she took her own fist and rammed it into her ear, shoving it inside her head up to her elbow. She rooted her arm around inside her own head, stretching it this way and that. "You see? I don't even have a brain."

"That's really not something to boast about."

The privacy chamber came back down and Zurra happily skipped away back to her own desk.

"What was that all about?" Ilrica asked as she came over and sat down next to Cha'Rolette.

"She has exposed her animus to peculate Mr. Dyson."

Ilrica furrowed her brow. "She's going to what his what?"

Cha'Rolette sighed. "She was serious about courting Dyson."

"Oh, okay, because that sounded nasty for a second."

Cha'Rolette scoffed. "To you, everything is innuendo."

"Remind me again who was trying to get him to look down her shirt in the cafeteria? Sounds pretty trashy to me."

"Shut up, Faolan."

"You shut up."

The two of them glared at each other and then watched as Zurra triumphantly pulled out a small Tupperware from her backpack and presented it to Gerald.

"What is that?"

Cha'Rolette's eyes widened. "She made him a home-cooked lunch. She's better than I thought."

"Is that significant?" Trahzi asked.

Both girls jumped with fright, then turned around to find Trahzi standing behind them.

"Frakk, you scared me. How long have you been standing there?"

"We are always here," Trahzi answered ominously.

Ilrica and Cha'Rolette looked at each other. "She is totally creeping me out."

"But to answer your question, yes, making food for the male is a basic courtship ritual amongst... well almost everybody. The database in Central says humans are no different."

Zurra giggled leaned in and whispered something to Gerald.

"What is she saying?" asked Ilrica.

"She's asking him to have lunch with her on the roof" answered Cha'Rolette.

Ilrica scoffed. "She's outta luck then. Dyson is a total grass-eater. He'd never accept an offer to..."

Gerald accepted Zurra's offer, and the two of them got up and walked off together.

The three girls couldn't believe what they were seeing.

As Zurra walked by, she leaned over and boasted. "Face it girls, you've already lost. I've known Gerald for years, you don't stand a chance. You should just give up now."

As she left with Gerald, Cha'Rolette's stylus snapped in her grip. "Well... I... NEVER!"

Ilrica gave off a low growl. "I'm having her planet moved to the top of the list."

Trahzi tapped her finger against her luscious lips. "Fascinating. So the fight to secure love follows the same patterns as warfare."

"She's not completely wrong, though. As his childhood friend, she has a definite advantage" said Cha'Rolette.

"But she's just a child," Trahzi observed. "Surely he'd be more attracted to a woman."

"Yeah, but flirting, kissing, sexy outfits, none of that stuff will work on him" said Cha'Rolette.

"What else is there?" asked Trahzi.

Cha'Rolette balled her fists. "Dyson doesn't see us as sexual objects, he just looks at us as respected classmates."

"I hate that about him."

A moment of sadness passed over Cha'Rolette's face. Unconsciously, she ran her fingers over her flawlessly toned stomach. "He's such a jerk. I spend a lot of time polishing my figure. The least he could do is notice once in a while. He's never even tried to hold my hand."

Ilrica leaned forward, a twinkle in her eye. "So... you do want him to hold your hand?"

Cha'Rolette snapped out of it. "Of... of course not. I'd kill him if he tried."

Trahzi regarded her own figure, looking a little unsure. "Perhaps human men don't like large breasts."

"Yeah, in the end all those globs of fat do is slow you down." Ilrica slapped one of her muscular thighs. "What males want is a lean woman who can keep up with the rest of the pack."

Trahzi was offended. "They are not globs of fat, do not call them that."

"Fine, they're bags of fatty meat. Good for eating, bad for lugging around. Throws off your center of balance, makes you clumsy and sluggish. You can't take down a mymmota with a pair of those flapping about."

Tomar coughed loudly from his desk. "Is this really an appropriate conversation for the classroom?"

"Quite right."

"Besides," Tomar added, "breasts are not filled with fatty meat."

"They're not?"

Tomar's orange eyes became distant and dreamy. "No, they are filled with the hopes and dreams of men everywhere."

Several of the male students nodded in agreement.

All the female students scowled at Tomar, cowing him into submission. He put his head down and quietly read his book.

Trahzi turned to Ilrica harshly. "Faolan, you have managed to offend us."

"Finally." Ilrica licked her fingers and swiped them through the air. A scoreboard made of light appeared, giving her ten more points.

"We did not think it was possible to do so" said Trahzi.

"With Faolan, all things are possible" said Cha'Rolette.

Ilrica scratched behind her ear with her hind paw. "If he were a Bertulf, I'd just release a musk into the air to indicate that I was willing to mate."

Trahzi and Cha'Rolette looked at her with disgust on their faces.

"What? It's no grosser than the stuff you guys do."

Tomar snored loudly, a trickle of drool falling from the corner of his mouth.

"It would help if we knew more about Gerald," Trahzi observed. "Most men we can learn everything we need to know about them by what they store in their external memory, the posts and videos they upload, their voting and purchasing histories, sites visited; but Gerald is completely off the grid."

Cha'Rolette was aghast. "Do you know how much the fines are if you get caught slicing into someone's private footprint like that?"

Trahzi shrugged. "We have no need for money."

"I knew there was a reason I didn't like you."

Ilrica flicked her tail around. "But if he's off the net that still leaves us nowhere. I mean, who else even knows him?"

The three of them looked up.