Realisation

Damien looked at Liam through his hooded eyes as Liam tried to slowly grasp the comical situation that occurred in the theatre. The more he listened to Damien's fumbling explanation the more his pretty pink lips twisted into suppressed smile. It was as if Liam was trying hard to contain his laughter. Soon his apparent resolve to not laugh at Damien's face faltered and Liam broke into a full blown laugh. His small body shook with the force of his giggles as he wiped tears of laughter from his eyes.

Damien looked at Liam transfixed. It was the first time he had seen Liam laugh so freely. The sound of Liam's laughter was like a music to his ears. He couldn't believe that he could be more besotted with the boy. But here he was drinking in the sound of his giggle like a parched man. Part of him was agitated by his own reactions. The part of his brain which was still in denial send him signals that this was so not him. But the majority of his intellect snickered at him making him realise he had become a pawn in his own game of chess ready to be sacrificed by his king at a moment's notice.

To save what little dignity he had he scowled at Liam.

"What's so funny?" Said Damien trying to school is besotted expression.

Liam hiccuped trying to control himself. He must have to be mad to find Damien so endearing. Looking at his flushed face Liam said, "nah! Nothing, just that it was sweet of you to go out of your way for this…. Ummm..date?"

Damien glared at him, "I am not sweet, nothing about it was sweet!"

Liam's smile faltered, his eyes became anxious. "Are…are you angry?" He asked in a small voice not looking at Damien, concentrating on his fingers on his lap.

'No….no….no…., look at me, smile again, don't look sad, I can't take it when you are upset.' Damien thought desperately but he said none of that.

"I am not angry, so don't look like that, said Damien, pausing a little he added, "I don't like seeing you upset, so no I am …ahem! Not angry." He couldn't look at Liam in the eyes. What was happening to him? What the fuck was happening to him?

Liam sat still inside the car. What did Damien mean by he didn't like seeing him upset? He was held again his will, raped, and beaten. He was a prisoner in the mansion, he still was. Does Damien think that a moment of kindness or a mere outing would make him forget everything? His life had taken a monumental turn. He sometimes didn't recognise himself. The Liam he was before would never be able to sit so comfortably in the same car with his tormentor, but there he was laughing at Damien's antics as if it was the most natural thing to do.

Damien noticed the change in Liam's mood. The boy's eyes were the mirror of his soul. Now that his eyes lost some of its spark Damien felt strange tightness in his heart. He wanted to know what was going on in his head, he wanted to right all the wrong in the universe to restore the spark in Liam's eyes. What could he do, he thought desperately. Should he ask Liam directly? But didn't that mean he was too perceptive of Liam? Should he pretend not to notice the change in Liam's mood? But then how would he know what got Liam upset? Agghhhh!!!!! Damien wanted to rip off his own hair. These feelings were so confusing and foreign. If only he had someone to confide in and ask about these troubling thoughts. But at the end he chose to remain silent, at least for then.

"Let's go somewhere to eat, what do you want for dinner?" Asked Damien still hoping Liam would look at him.

"I am not hungry, can we go back?" Said Liam playing with his fingers absentmindedly.

Damien said nothing but instructed Jacob to take them back. There was silence in the car as each of its four occupants were lost in their own thoughts.

Jacob was relieved, somewhat happy for the small change in Damien that was taking place. He had been with Damien since Damien was twelve years old and Jacob nineteen. Jacob had just joined Bishop International then as the personal guard for Damien.

He knew Damien inside out. Though younger than him Jacob was in awe of the young master's charisma. He watched as Damien delivered a perfect kill without shaking, without blinking and he also watched Damien smiling graciously at their business associates after mere minutes of that kill transforming into a different person. Jacob was also the witness of the cruelty that shaped the man Damien was. He clenched his jaw as he remembered the punishments for the smallest of the errors the teenage boy did. It was so cruel, so inhuman that the mere thought of it raised all the hairs in his arms.

At times he thought Damien would not make it out alive from the brutality Adrian bestowed on him. But Damien surprised him by becoming stronger and fiercer. Somewhere along the way during his so called 'training' Damien lost all his humanity. He became the perfect human weapon that Adrian created and Everard, the senior Bishop polished into perfection.

Jacob still remembered the day when a scared Damien had asked him to hide his pet bunny somewhere where Adrian wouldn't be able to reach. He remembered the desperate call for help from that teenage boy who was frightened as he was thrown into dungeons infested with rodents without food and water. He remembered the old Damien who still shed tears for his mother and hoped for a different life. Jacob wished one day Damien would realise that what was drilled as normal into him was not how life should be. He truly hoped someone would elicit the emotions that was long buried within him.

Luke was silently contemplating the situation. He was surprised to see Liam so comfortable with Damien. From what he heard Liam was subjected to gruesome tortures. But watching Liam dozing off at the back, his head resting on Damien's chest perplexed him. Did he misjudge the situation? What could change Liam so much? From what he had learned from Philip Liam was very soft and fragile. So how could he be so at ease with Damien? What did he miss?

Not only that there was another confusing feeling rising in his heart whenever he was with Liam. The boy's antics, naughtiness as he tried to prank Luke, his laughter, his smile created havoc in his heart. He had always been capable of hiding his emotions expertly so nothing ever reflected in his face. But it was getting truly hard control the ugly jealousy which kept on sprouting in his heart whenever Damien touched Liam. He wanted to rip off Damien's hand from Liam and hide the boy from the monster. He kept on reminding himself that Liam was just a job for which he was paid handsomely but unfortunately his brain decided Liam was his and the boy should only be in his arms not Damien's.

It seemed he needed to speed up his plans if he didn't want Liam to get more used to Damien.

Damien held the softly snoring boy in his arms with fierce possessiveness. His heart rhythmically lub dubbed 'mine…mine….mine'. He tenderly stroked Liam's cheeks as he drew the boy closer to his heart inhaling the familiar strawberry scent and a musk that was purely Liam. Liam was sleeping peacefully. His right palm resting on Damien's chest where his heart was. His long eyelashes fluttering as he dreamt of something or someone Damien thought anxiously. His soft pink lips parted as he almost smiled in his sleep.

What was he thinking? Damien thought desperately. Liam was smiling in his dreams. So it must someone who….who is not a monster like him, right? Someone who didn't treat him so cruelly, someone who didn't rape him brutally, someone who didn't make him cry. There was someone else in his dreams, not Damien. He might have the boy in his arms but he was not in his heart, in his mind.

Damien closed his eyes. After many years for the first time he felt lost, he felt exhaustion settling within him. What he did was how he was taught. He wanted something or someone he got that by any means necessary. He wanted to have Liam he had him within his grasp. But that was not enough.

Damien slowly opened his eyes. Yessssss....that was not enough. Having Liam in his arms was not enough. He wanted to be in his mind, he wanted to be the only one in his dreams. He wanted to be in his heart, because Liam was in his.