A GLIMPSE FROM THE PAST

It was a hot summer afternoon. I got down from my school

bus and walked towards my home when I saw two police cars

pulling up in front of my home and I saw a few police officers

come out along with a lean boy with his hands cuffed. It was

Hamza. My brother. He was looking down and his shoulders

were shaking as if crying. My dad's car pulled in front of my

home too. He came out and had a brief conversation with the

police officers before they uncuffed my brother's hands. I

walked inside.

I later got to know that Hamza had been caught consuming

drugs. He was in his final year of high school, and it was a

common thing over here in the states. I was sitting in my

bedroom. I could hear loud noises coming from the living

room. I peeked out of my bedroom.

"How could you do this to me, Hamza?" my mom yelled

through her tears.

"Don't cry, Nafeesa."

She was sitting on the couch and dad was sitting beside her

rubbing her back.

"You've tarnished the honor that your dad has built up with

his blood, sweat and tears? Did you not think of him even

once? Your grandfather had left the business in ruins when

your father took over it. He built it back again with his

dedication and hard work. All of this for what? To be called

from the police one day and inform him that his son was

caught consuming drugs. Is this what he worked hard for?

Huh?" my mom yelled angrily.

Suddenly she started coughing badly and I rushed out of my

bedroom to fetch a glass of water for her. I poured warm

water in a glass and ran towards her.

"Will you do it too?" she asked me angrily once she gulped

down the water.

"Huh?" I asked her genuinely feeling confused.

"Will you tarnish the family's honor too once you're older?"

she yelled and I flinched back.

"Romi, go to your room." Daddy calmly ordered me but I

wasn't having it.

"Why are you yelling at me? What did I do? Your one child has

done a crime that doesn't mean your other child would do it

too."

My mom looked at me wide eyed before she burst into sobs.

"Look at the way she's speaking to me, Ali." she spoke

between her hiccups.

I didn't mean to make her cry.

"Romaisa, go to your room. Now." daddy yelled loudly.

I looked at Hamza. He was standing in a corner with his head

bowed down. I felt angry all of a sudden. Hamza was a

mischievous kid. Always going around and creating trouble

for himself and everyone. My mom was a short-tempered

woman and she would lose her calm all the time. Once,

Hamza had broken some beautiful dishes in a fit of his anger

and when mom asked us what had happened, he had taken

my name. Mom immediately lost her temper and without

investigating the matter she had beaten me badly. When dad

came home that evening, I explained to him what had actually

happened and then he had fought wildly with mom. After that

incident mom had avoided me like a plague. I didn't

understand what was my fault in it but one thing was for sure

and that was Hamza was the root cause of all the problems.

After the drug incident our family had become quite distant

with each other. We had stopped eating together as a family

and those little trips that daddy would take us on had now

become sweet memories.

It was like everyone was living their own life. Mom and dad

had their own lives to take care of. Hamza would barely be

present at home. We were a so-called family now.

Daniyal was a blessing. He wasn't much bothered by any of

this. He would always bring serenity everywhere he went. I

had turned to him when I felt that I was alone. I had turned to

him when I felt I wasn't safe. I had turned to him when I had

to take life changing decisions. I had turned to him when my

parents had refused when I announced to them that I wanted

to pursue B. Arch. Likewise I had supported him when he was

feeling down and alone. I would cheer him up when he would

cry. I was a weak person; I could not cry. I had not cried when

my granny had passed away even though I loved her dearly.

Daniyal and I were each other's support. Sometimes I would

imagine what life would be like without him and that thought

always gave me goosebumps.

"I am going to San Diego." Daniyal told me one day casually

while we were having dinner.

I looked at him intensely searching for any signs of joking on

his face. When I didn't find any, I stood up and walked to the

balcony.

He followed me. I rested my hands against the railing. He

took my hand in his large warm ones. I retreated my hand

back and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Explain yourself." I spoke in a very rude tone.

He sighed.

"I applied for residency at various hospitals, Romi. Rady

Children's hospital in San Diego has accepted my application."

I didn't say anything and looked away.

"I have to go, Romi. This is what I want to do. This is what I

love to do."

I sighed deeply and smiled sadly.

"I know and I support you even if no one does. I just..." I

stopped not knowing what to say.

"I know." He smiled.

"You'll miss me." he stated.

"Why would I miss you?" I laughed.

"Just make sure you deliver Hershey's kisses and a bouquet of

peonies and lilacs every week."

He chuckled deeply and engulfed me into a warm hug.

"I will, Romi. I will."

I did not cry when I went to see him off at the airport but I felt

empty inside when he was gone. Sure, I had friends but no

one could replace him. I did not eat mine and his favorite food

while he was away. I did not watch the movies that we loved to

watch together while he was away. In the early days of his

residency, he got so busy but he would always try to call me at

night. After a few months he was able to take some time off

work and drive to Los Angeles to meet me but only for a few

hours. I would also drive to San Diego at night during the

weekdays but he wasn't very pleased with the idea of me

travelling alone at night. So, we had decided to meet during

the weekends.

I always had dreams at night. Dreams of spending beautiful

time with my family. But when I woke up the same silence

would greet me. I missed my family eating together, I missed

my family going for short trips, I missed how daddy would

play video games with us, I missed how we used to bake cakes

and cookies with mum. I missed everything.