Fake and Cheap Art

"Name?"

"August Pranda."

"Occupation?"

"Cultivator."

"Not that! I mean, what do you specialize in? Like, are you a demonic cultivator, a wandering buddhist searching for enlightenment or a freelance alchemist??"

"Oh, I specialize in...uhm, I'm not sure actually...I just started my cultivation journey last week."

"Huh?! You started cultivating without any heart sutras or cultivation manuals?! Impossible!"

'We ran through this question before, August. Just repeat what I've taught you and you'll be fine.'

"Oh, a wandering cultivator saved me from bandits last week. After that, he told me that I have destiny with the Heavenly Dao and asked me to cultivate as soon as possible so that my chances of reaching incredible heights increases. He even passed me a book to read, see?" Speaking up to this point, August took out an unremarkable, cheap looking cultivation manual before handing it to the guard to check.

"Godly Lurking Manual? What the f**k is this shit?!" the guard asked August with a baffled expression.

"It's a book that a wandering cultivator gave me after he noticed that I have cultivating talent. He said that it was a priceless treasure that even the Heavens were jealous of and that as long as I read it everyday, I'll reach the peak of the Martial Dao and become a Celestial!" August enthusiastically replied.

"Wandering cultivator?? Are you-" Seeing the obvious excitement written on August's face when he conveyed the words of that mysterious wandering cultivator, the guard didn't have the heart to criticize him anymore and instead gave August some heartfelt advice.

Human town, Perak

'That son of a bitch! Dare called my life long perfected cultivation art cheap and fake?! If I was there in the flesh, I would have f**ked him up a million times over using a real cheap and fake cultivation art!!! Caonima! That puny Qi Condensation bastard is just looking for death!' [Sion]

The death threats and curses that flowed from the Undead King, Sion were all being absorbed and stored within August's memory.

August's mind was becoming a dictionary for curses and swear words even though he's only been in the Mortal realm for a week.

"So Sion, where do I go next?" [August]

'I bet that retard has never seen a proper cultivation manual before! Calling my blood, sweat and tears fake...!' [Sion]

Seeing that his calls were being ignored by Sion who was still cursing at that ignorant guard, August could only sigh dejectedly before he made his way over to a building with a beer sign.

It was either a winery or a tavern.

Pushing the wooden door forward, the smell of grilled meat coupled with the sweet fragrance of alcohol madly assaulted August's nostrils before he was greeted by a young maiden as fair as snow.

Looking around the place, August noticed that there were plenty of people that were drinking and laughing around small tables in front of a bar.

'So this was a human tavern, although their design is different from us demons, the scene of a lively crowd drinking and laughing happily never changes.' August thought to himself.

"Good day to you, mr...?" The fair skin maiden awaited August's introduction.

"My family name's Pranda. You can call me Mr. Pranda."

"Alright Mr. Pranda, are you here to eat or are you here to stay the night? If you're here to stay the night, we offer the normal bed and breakfast package, the room only package, the long stay package, and the special night service.

If you are going to stay in Vladrered for a while, I'll suggest that Mr. Pranda will choose the long stay package since there are special rates and benefits for long stays of 10 nights and above!

Not only will you get daily breakfast and supper for free, you will also receive a 20% discount off on all food & beverage purchased within our establishment and our other services spanned across the town...."

The fair skinned maiden kept on going and going till another colleague of hers had to clamp one hand on her mouth while another hand was used to show August to an empty table.

The fair skinned maiden came back to apologize after she had cooled down.

"Hahaha, don't mind it...You were just doing your job. Ah, speaking of which, I'll purchase the Long Stay Package since I will be staying in this town for 13 days. Now, can you take my order? I'm starving." [August]

"Hm? Ah sorry, I'll take your order now! What would you like to have, Mr. Pranda?"

"Hm....I'm not sure. Why don't you suggest some dishes?" Having already forgotten that this fair skinned maiden in front of him had a long tongue, it took August a whole hour before he could actually order his food.

The fair skinned maiden in front of him used a whole hour to introduce each of their tavern's popular dishes as well as the promo sets that came with free booze with it.

At least the fair skinned maiden had a pleasant voice, else August really felt that this torture would be no different than what his Demon Kingdom had to offer.

When the food came, he couldn't help but wept.

As the tears streamed down his pale cheeks, August couldn't help but recall those bittersweet memories from a week ago.

6 days earlier...

Amused by his lord's surprised reaction, Undead King Sion couldn't help but let out a chuckle. 'Surprised , you are? Hm, well...it has been 300 years since I've used this name.'

"I had my doubts about your real identity before but, you said your name was Sion?!" Augustus X was shocked.

The name 'Sion' was famous throughout the Underworld as the sole human cultivator to enter and leave the realm of the dead as he pleased.

Sion was not only a powerful ghost cultivator, he was friends with the Eastern Ghost King, Yama as well as the Greek God of the Underworld, Hades.

At the young age of 13 thousand years old, Sion has already transcended the bounds of the Underworld and became a Ghost God!

He became the new ruler of the Eastern Underworld when the first Ghost King, Yami ran off with his first love.

He reigned supreme for another 30 thousand years before he mysteriously disappeared one year later.

Never did Augustus think that the legendary Ghost God Sion would run over to his Demon Kingdom and become one of his ministers.

This was simply too shocking even for Augustus X the ex-Devil himself!