6. Trust

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is not mine. Woo Hoo! The strike is over:)

The next day.

Meredith woke up the next morning still in the familiar embrace of Derek's arms. She gently wiggled her body around to face him. Apparently, he had gotten used to her snoring, seeing as he was still asleep beside her. She curled up closer to him and buried her face into his warm chest, breathing in the scent that belonged solely to Derek.

After several minutes, Meredith felt the need to stand up and stretch her body. She gently replaced her body with a pillow for him to wrap his arm around. Derek moved slightly but remained sleeping. Meredith tiptoed out and walked downstairs to the kitchen after using the bathroom.

"Oh. Hi, Meredith. I was just making coffee. I hope you don't mind. I, um…", Lexie said meekly when she noticed Meredith enter the kitchen.

"It's fine", Meredith said with a small smile. "Thank you", she said as she took a seat at the island.

"Would you like some?", Lexie asked kindly.

"Sure. Thanks", Meredith said with a small nod.

"Are you off today?", Lexie asked as she poured the coffee, in an attempt to make conversation.

Meredith nodded. "Yeah."

"Me too. Actually, um, George and I were going to look for an apartment", Lexie said, wondering if Meredith would get angry over the news.

"Really?", Meredith asked with a smile. "That's good."

"Yeah. I feel bad, you know, spending so much time over here", Lexie told her.

"It's okay. I don't mind. There's always people here", Meredith joked. "It's normal."

"It's just that I can't live at home anymore. My dad—", Lexie started before stopping herself. "Uh, our, um, dad…I have to live my own life. I can't spend all of my time taking care of him."

"Yeah", Meredith said softly, knowing that any talk of Thatcher was bound to be an awkward, uncomfortable conversation.

"I'm sorry", Lexie said, shaking her head. "I know that it's—"

"I get it", Meredith said with an assuring nod. After a few moments of silence, Meredith spoke again. "This probably shouldn't feel so awkward. It's not your fault that…I can't blame you for what happened. I don't. It's just…"

Lexie nodded and kept her eyes fixed on her coffee cup. "I know. I guess it seems like I got your life…the life you should have had. Molly and I…we didn't even know we had another sister until my mom— If we did, we would have made them…", she said softly.

"I know. It's okay. I know it's hard to believe, but I don't hate you", Meredith said as the two made eye contact. "You're actually okay for being someone I'm semi-related to", she admitted with a slight laugh.

"Yeah. It's good to have someone whose sort of family, even though, well, the whole estranged father thing kind of puts a damper on it", Lexie said sadly.

"Yeah", Meredith agreed. "I guess it does."

"We can be friends, I mean, if you wanted to. I don't expect us to be all sister-y at first. But, I'd like to think that maybe one day, we could be close", Lexie said with a look of hope in her eyes.

"Okay. Yeah", Meredith said softly.

"Really?", Lexie asked, somewhat surprised by Meredith's answer.

"Yeah. That would be…yeah, I would like that", Meredith admitted with a small smile.

"Okay", Lexie said with a slight nod.

The two drank their coffee in a comfortable silence for several minutes before George entered the kitchen and poured himself a cup.

"Hey George", Meredith smiled.

"Morning", George greeted warmly. "Why are you up so early?"

Meredith shrugged. "I went to bed at 10:00 last night."

"Seriously?", George asked with a slight laugh.

"Yeah. I wasn't feeling well", Meredith said.

"Are you okay?", Lexie asked concernedly.

"Oh. Yeah. I'm fine", Meredith said with a nod.

"You sure?", George asked as he felt her forehead.

Meredith rolled her eyes and laughed. "Yes. I'm sure."

"Okay. Well, we have to get going", George told Lexie. "We're looking for an apartment", he said to Meredith.

"I heard. I'm happy for you", Meredith said with a smile. "Good luck, guys."

"Thanks", Lexie said kindly. "See you, Meredith."

"Bye", Meredith smiled.

After George and Lexie left, Meredith poured herself and Derek two cups of coffee and made her way back upstairs. She placed them on her nightstand and got back into bed with him. "Hey", Meredith said softly as she rubbed his arm.

Derek opened his eyes and looked up at her. "Hey", he said with a small smile.

"Coffee?", she yawned as she handed him the cup.

"Thanks", he said as he sat up in bed and took the cup from her hands. "How you feeling, sweetie?"

"Uh, I feel a little better…what's with the 'sweetie' thing?", she asked with raised brows.

Derek smiled at her. "It's a term of endearment. I figured we could use them. Might be fun", he said with a shrug.

"Right. Okay", Meredith smirked.

"What?", he asked with a smile.

"Nothing…dear", Meredith joked.

"Now you're mocking me", he laughed.

"I would never…", she said before Derek cut her off.

"You would", Derek said with a nod. "That's okay. I love you anyway", he said before kissing her on the cheek.

"Love you too", Meredith said softly. "So, what did you want to do today?"

"Stay in bed", Derek told her.

"No, Derek. We don't have to. I feel better, really", she said with a big nod.

Derek shrugged. "Either way, all I want to do is lay in bed with you today."

"Okay", Meredith said with a small smile.

"This coffee is good. Did you make it?", he asked.

"Um, actually, Lexie made it", Meredith told him.

"Oh, so, were you two…talking?", Derek asked her.

"Yeah", Meredith said softly. "She's nice."

"What did you talk about?"

Meredith shrugged. "Family crap."

"Oh", Derek said with a curious nod.

"She wants us to be…sisters. Or maybe not 'sister sisters', but get to the point where it won't be so awkward to be sort of like sisters", Meredith rambled.

"What?"

"I don't know. Never mind", Meredith yawned.

"Do you want to be sisters with your sister?", Derek asked.

"Yeah. I do I guess, sort of. There's just a lot of stuff that comes along with that. Like my father…", Meredith said rolling her eyes.

"Did you want to talk to me about it?", Derek asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

"No", Meredith said immediately.

Derek just tilted his head and looked at her.

"Don't do that", Meredith told him.

"Do what?"

"Look at me like that. Every time you do that, I give in", Meredith said frankly.

"Why do you think I do that?", Derek asked with a smirk.

"You're an ass", she laughed as she nudged his shoulder.

Derek wrapped his arm around her and kissed her on the cheek. "Fine. I'm an ass. But I still think we should talk about your family. I think it would be good for you."

"Fine", Meredith said taking a deep breath. After several moments of silence, Meredith spoke again. "I've never done this before. I don't know where to start."

"Start at the beginning. I really don't know a lot about you…which is…I don't know. I just think I should know more about you than I do", Derek said softly.

"Okay. Uh…", Meredith said, trying to think of something to say. "I knew", she said softly.

"Knew what?"

"I knew what was going on. Well, not the whole story, because I didn't really get it when I was five, but…in my kid logic, I knew about my mom and the Chief", Meredith said softly.

Derek looked at her and nodded, willing her to continue. He knew this wasn't easy for her, but he was thankful that she was making the effort.

Meredith shrugged. "I guess I thought it would get better. I tried to pretend I didn't hear the fighting. My dad never let on that anything was wrong. He always made sure I was happy. But my mother…she didn't check to see if I was okay", she said, tears building in her eyes.

"And that never really changed. Even after the two of us moved to Boston, she…she didn't care", Meredith said simply. "So I stopped caring. It was easier not to, you know? My father obviously didn't care. He knew what she was like. And he let it happen. I guess he was afraid of her. But I was the kid. I didn't know what was happening to my family and nobody ever stopped to ask me how I felt", she said as a few tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks.

Derek didn't know what to say so he just wiped her tears away with his thumb.

"So I learned to live with it. High school, college, med school, I was alone. But…", she said with a small smile appearing despite the tears. "…then I came back here. And it all sort of turned out okay."

Derek reached for her hand and took it in his own. "I'm sorry", he said as tears pricked in his eyes. "I'm sorry you had a childhood like that. No one deserves that, Meredith. I promise that I'm going to try to make up for it. I never want you to feel like that…lonely or sad. And I know I made you feel that way before, but I'm here now. I'm here and I love you. I'll always be here, Meredith. Okay? I promise", he said sincerely as he hugged her tightly.

"My severe abandonment issues don't have you running for the hills?", she joked through her tears.

"Nope", he said as he kissed her on the top of her head. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Thanks", she said softly.

"Thank you for talking to me. I know it's not easy for you to talk about things like that, especially your family. But, I appreciate it", he said, wrapping his arms around her.

Meredith nodded as she hugged him back. They both sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the familiar comfort of each other's arms.

"I promised myself a long time ago that if I ever had kids, I wouldn't do that to them", she said softly.

"You won't do that, because you lived it. You know what that kind of life is like. You'll be better than your parents, Meredith", Derek assured her.

"Okay", she said, a trusting look in her eyes.

"Okay", Derek repeated with a small smile.

"How are you always so sure that things will turn out?", Meredith asked him.

Derek shrugged. "Sometimes you just have to trust that it'll all be okay. There's really no logic behind it. There's no big secret. You just have to have faith. I think the fact that you and I managed to make it through everything we've been through is reason enough to believe", he explained softly.

"Yeah", Meredith said with a small smile. "I guess it is."

"I love you", he said before kissing her deeply and passionately, wanting her to know just how much he cared for her.

"I love you too", she said breathlessly as they pulled back.

Derek smiled at her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm tired", she said sleepily.

"Go back to sleep", Derek said as he laid them back in bed.

"You're not tired", Meredith pointed out.

"I'll lay here until you fall asleep. Then I'll go get a shower and we can order lunch", he said with a smile.

"Mmm, I think I like this whole being lazy in bed thing", she giggled.

"Me too", he said with a nod.

Meredith curled up close to him and he wrapped his arms protectively around her. Derek knew that crying and expressing feelings always took a lot out of her. But he was thankful that she was finally opening up to him. The 'evolving' as she called it was progressing little by little every day. Both of them were willing to do whatever it took to make this work.

Derek soothed her and rubbed her back, and within minutes, Meredith had fallen asleep in his arms. Apparently the caffeine in the two cups of coffee she had consumed had no effect on her. As he laid there holding her, he felt sorry for her. For all she had to go through. For her sad childhood. He couldn't imagine going through that. It made him appreciate his own family. Because, well, he had one. He grew up with loving parents and sisters that adore him.

Meredith didn't have that. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if she could have had someone to share in the sadness with, like a brother or sister. But she was alone. All alone. Five years old. One day she had a family, and the next day it was gone. And because of it, Meredith built up walls. Walls that would protect her from feeling the pain of her loneliness. Walls that kept her safe from those that hurt her. The walls that were just beginning to be knocked down. She was beginning to trust those around her. It was slow, but it was progress.

As he held her, the guilt slowly came over him. He lied to her. And just as she was starting to let her guard down, all of her trust in him was taken away. He had accused her, forced her into being ready, told her he didn't want to breathe for her, told her that she couldn't trust anybody. It wasn't really a big secret as to why she didn't swim or that her trust in him had completely faltered. It was partially his fault and he took responsibility for it. And her parents were no better. To grow up in a home without a father, and with no love, support or encouragement from your emotionally distant mother certainly isn't an easy thing to cope with.

He looked down at her sleeping form, which was blurry because of the tears in his eyes. In that moment, he made a silent vow to her that he would always be there. He wouldn't be just another person on her list of those that gave up on her. Instead, he would be the one that would show her how to trust in life. To have faith that sometimes, despite all odds and all logic, just believing it would all be okay was reason enough.

After Derek showered, he ordered lunch and the two spent the whole day relaxing in bed. They took full advantage of their day off.

"You know what I think?", Meredith asked with a mouth full of spaghetti. "I think we should both quit and stay in bed every day and eat, just eat."

Derek laughed at her. "You know you could never quit being a surgeon. It's in your blood."

"Yeah I guess. But this is pretty damn good too", Meredith joked.

"It is", Derek agreed.

"Here. Eat this. It's good'", she said as she shoved a buttered roll into his mouth.

"Mer, there's like, a whole stick of butter on this thing", Derek said as he attempted to chew.

Meredith nodded. "Mhm. I love butter."

"I can see that", Derek said with a smile as she ate her own roll.

"This is what couples do, right?", Meredith asked with a grin.

"Clog their arteries from butter overload? Yeah, couples do that", he joked.

"Okay. Good", Meredith giggled.

"I love that", Derek said with a smile.

"What?", she asked.

"Your laugh", he shrugged. "It's just…I love it", he said, kissing her on the cheek.

Meredith just smiled at him. "When you say things like that to me, it makes me want to take you right here and now."

"It's true", he said with smile. "And I love you."

"I love you too", she said as she kissed him softly on the lips, still giggling softly.

"…dear", Meredith said as they pulled back.

Derek looked at her and pretended to be insulted. "Again with the mocking. You're so mean to me", he joked.

"Get used to it", she said as she continued to laugh.

This was the Meredith he once knew. The ballsy one that bossed him around and kept him in line. He didn't mind the mocking. In fact, he loved it. He loved that she was happy and comfortable around him. She trusted him enough to let her guard down in front of him.

She could be Meredith. And he could be Derek. And that was how it should be.

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