92. She Looks Like Us

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I really appreciate it. Based on your opinions, I'll most likely be continuing this beyond the birth, as long as there's still interest in it.

The clock on Derek's desk told him it was just after two in the morning, and he knew that being on call, his pager could go off at any second, so he should really be taking advantage of the silence and getting some sleep in their cozy pullout bed in his office. Except it wasn't silent. Meredith was lying next to him, fast asleep, but she was making noises. They started off as happy sounding sighs, but had gotten progressively more... sexy. Sighs, and pants, and moans, and now she was rolling around under the covers, which was no easy task with her ever-expanding belly getting in the way of everything.

He hesitated for a few minutes before waking her. It didn't sound like she was in pain, but he couldn't be absolutely sure that she was okay until he woke her up. Derek placed a tentative hand on her shoulder and shook her gently. "Mer," he whispered. "Meredith, wake up. You okay?"

"Mmm," Meredith moaned, licking her lips. "Derek..."

"Meredith," he said again, a little louder this time.

Her eyes opened and she laid there for a few seconds, as if trying to piece everything together into coherence. "Hmm, what?" Meredith croaked, her voice raspy and full of sleep.

"You were making noises," Derek told her.

"Noises?"

"Yeah. Like... moaning and stuff. You're not in any pain, right?" Derek asked, splaying his palm over her belly.

Meredith blinked a few times as her brain finally began to cooperate, and then she blushed. "Oh. Oh, God. It happened again?"

"What?"

"A sex dream. I had one a few days ago, too," Meredith said, arching her back uncomfortably as she rolled onto her side.

Derek slipped a pillow under her stomach so her skin didn't pull from the gravity of it, and smiled. "A sex dream, huh?"

"Mmhmm," Meredith murmured, burying her face into the pillow under her head. "But you interrupted it."

"Want me to make it up to you?" he asked, though there was a voice in his head that advised him to forgo sex for the time being and sleep, or they'd regret it in the morning. But still, Meredith moaning in her sleep had admittedly turned him on, even when he was half asleep in the middle of the night.

Meredith opened one eye and looked at him. "Now?"

"We can wait." Derek kissed her forehead and smoothed some hair off her face. "Let's sleep."

He'd only closed his eyes for a nanosecond when Meredith slipped her hand into his scrub pants and stroked him. Derek sucked in a breath. "What're you doing?"

"Trying to have sex. You woke me up right when I was about to cross the finish line. And now I can't fall back to sleep until I get the orgasm you just deprived me of," Meredith said as she continued her ministrations.

Derek swallowed thickly and moaned. "Okay," he choked out. He regretfully pulled her hand from his pants, afraid that if she kept doing what she was doing, something embarrassing would happen.

They undressed quickly, well aware that on-call sex often got interrupted by pagers going off. Long love making sessions rarely happened within the four walls of the hospital, and over the years, they'd come to expect it. Meredith bit her lip as Derek shed his boxers, leaving them both naked and on display for each other's eyes.

"Do you want to be on top?" Derek asked. Sex was still frequent, even now that Meredith was thirty-two weeks pregnant; it just required more maneuvering than before. "Or we can try me on top, but I don't know."

"We can, um... the spooning thing," Meredith said. "Remember? From the book? The spooning thing?"

Derek grinned, all traces of tiredness gone from both of them. "That's a new one."

"We're quick learners," she smiled at him, her hands gripping his shoulders as she leaned in and kissed her husband. Once their daughter was born, they'd be up in the middle of the night, but for entirely different reasons. From sporadic three AM sex, to crying and dirty diapers, so they decided to make the next eight weeks count.

And it was glorious.

Except when the alarm blared at six in the morning. Derek shut it off with a groan, and pulled Meredith's still naked body into his arms, neither of them having the energy to get dressed after their pre-dawn romp earlier that morning. "No no no," Meredith said into her pillow. "Not yet."

"Five more minutes," Derek yawned.

"We have rounds. And a sonogram at nine," she reminded him, but still making no attempt to get up. Until Derek got out of their warm, soft cocoon, she was staying put. "You have no idea how lucky you are that you get coffee."

"Sorry," Derek said, kissing the back of her head.

"Hmm," Meredith hummed. "'S okay, I guess."

After a few more moments of blissful morning quiet, Derek disentangled himself from her and sat up. "Rise and shine," he yawned, rubbing his eyes before standing up to redress.

Meredith pulled his pillow over her head and breathed in his scent. Woodsy and fresh and comforting, the Derek-y smell that helped identify him. "You go; I'll stay here."

"I would be fine with that, except you're the pregnant one. I can't have the ultrasound for you," Derek chuckled. He slipped his scrub shirt over his head, then leaned over the bed, slowly peeling the pillow away from Meredith's face. "How about I go get you a hot chocolate and a bagel from the breakfast cart, then meet you back up here in ten minutes... give you a chance to wake up a bit," he offered.

After he kissed her, Meredith scrunched her nose. "Okay, but brush your teeth first. Your morning breath is not attractive right now."

Derek laughed. "Okay."

By the time he returned with her breakfast, Meredith was finally dressed and combing out her hair with the brush she kept in Derek's desk drawer, which was progress, considering she'd almost fallen asleep brushing her own teeth a few minutes ago in the attending lounge down the hall. She smiled when he entered. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Derek said, setting down their food and drinks on his desk where she was seated while he folded their bed back into the couch. Though he knew it was a touchy subject, he knew it would probably be brought up at their appointment today, so Derek decided to dive in. "So, if Dr. Halloran asks you about maternity leave today, what're you gonna say?" he asked gently.

Meredith smirked at him. "I knew you were going to bring that up," she said, spreading cream cheese over her cinnamon raisin bagel with the plastic knife. "I have eight weeks to go still."

"Yes, but she's not going to clear you for work at forty weeks," Derek chuckled, tossing the throw pillows back onto the couch.

"I know," she sighed. "Stupid HR policies..."

"Which are for your own health," Derek added. He leaned against his desk and took a sip of his coffee. "Maybe you could stop a month from now? Thirty-six weeks? That way you could take the whole ninth month off," he suggested.

Meredith bit into her bagel and nodded. "If that's what's best for Lilly, that's what I'm going to do," she agreed.

"Okay," Derek smiled, glancing at his watch. "Ready?"

"Yeah." Meredith hoisted herself up out of Derek's desk chair and groaned. "Eight more weeks and I already feel like I'm housing a watermelon."

Derek kissed her temple and laughed. "She's not a blueberry anymore."

"No, definitely not," Meredith said as she gathered her breakfast into her arms with the intention of finishing it before they rounded. "She'll probably be a nine pounder like you. And then guess what?"

"No more sex, ever?" Derek guessed, holding the door open for her.

Meredith smiled. "See? Quick learner."

...

After rounds and two brain biopsies, they barely made it to the OB wing for their appointment on time. Derek quickly signed them in on the chart just as the hour hand hit nine on the clock. "Made it," he sighed, dropping down next to Meredith in a waiting room chair.

"I could already use a nap," Meredith joked, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes.

Derek smiled sympathetically at his wife as he trailed his hand along her arm. He knew how grueling residency was, but being pregnant in the midst of all the hustle and bustle made it even harder. Which is why he was grateful that she was willing to take her maternity leave in a few weeks, and not stick it out until week forty. That would do her no good. "If you want, I could get another resident to scrub in with me this afternoon. You can rest if you want to," he offered.

"No, I'm good. I want to log as much OR time as I can so I don't fall that far behind the others. Maternity leave is already going to keep me from finishing residency on time," Meredith said, shrugging. "But that's okay."

"Not necessarily," Derek argued. "You can always log neuro hours with Nelson while I'm home with Lilly. We can make it work."

"We'll see," Meredith replied. "If I have to sacrifice one, I'd rather it be work. Lilly comes first."

Derek squeezed her hand and smiled at her. She was already so different from her own mother, and their baby wasn't even born yet. Even if she never gave herself enough credit, he was proud of her. "Okay."

"Meredith," Dr. Halloran called from the doorway leading to the patient rooms. "You can come on back now."

The two followed the obstetrician back into an exam room, and Derek took her hand as she hopped up onto the table. "So, thirty-two weeks now. How are you doing?" Dr. Halloran asked as she took the blood pressure cuff and wrapped it around Meredith's arm.

"Good. Really good," Meredith replied.

"Good," the doctor echoed. "115 over 75 for your blood pressure, which is normal, too." She documented it in Meredith's chart then looked up at her. "No spotting or cramping, right?"

Meredith shook her head. "Nope, none."

"Any pain or bleeding during or after sex?" she asked.

"No. We're... definitely good in that area," Meredith said, glancing over at Derek whose face was turning red at her admission, especially given this morning's new position discovery.

"Okay, very good," Dr. Halloran laughed. "And how about the baby? Do you still feel her frequently?"

Meredith smiled. "All the time. Lots of kicking."

"Excellent," she replied, writing the information down. "Normally between thirty-two and thirty-three weeks is when babies peak in movement. After that, they're officially starting to run out of room, so you won't feel her kicking as much. You'll still know when she's moving around, but in the fetal position, she's basically hugging herself in the womb to save space," Dr. Halloran explained.

"Okay," Meredith replied, as she and Derek both took mental notes. All of this was information they'd learned back in med. school, but it was nice to have these refresher courses with each appointment, filing away every tidbit of knowledge they could.

Dr. Halloran set Meredith's chart down on the countertop. "Could you lie back for me? I just want to feel her, make sure she's where she should be," the doctor requested.

"Yeah," Meredith nodded, letting go of Derek's hand as Dr. Halloran reclined the exam table and extended the foot rest to make Meredith more comfortable. She lifted up her scrub top and tucked it just below her bra.

Dr. Halloran palpated Meredith's abdomen, feeling the position of the baby with her fingers. "Her butt is over here, and then her back... feet just below your ribs." She moved her fingers lower toward Meredith's pubic bone and pressed down gently. "And her head is down, which is good. She's right on track. So unless she decides to do any fancy acrobatics and shifts her body around, you should be absolutely fine for a vaginal delivery."

Meredith breathed a sigh of relief, glad that Lilly was cooperating. "Okay, good."

"We can get started on the ultrasound now," Dr. Halloran said as she began to turn on the monitor. "We can get some measurements, see how she's doing in there." She squirt some blue gel over Meredith's stomach and spread it out with the wand. The 4-d video flashed over the computer screen, and they both smiled when they saw their daughter.

"She's so big," Derek said softly, a grin coming over his face that reached his eyes.

"Yep. She's around four pounds now," Dr. Halloran said as she clicked the mouse to take a measurement of the baby's height. "She looks to be about... seventeen inches."

"Seventeen?" Meredith gasped. "I was eighteen inches when I was born. So she's almost done growing height-wise, right?"

Dr. Halloran nodded. "Most babies are between eighteen and twenty-two inches long, so she's not going to be growing that much more. But she'll keep gaining weight until delivery. Sometimes genetics tie into this, as well. Do either of you know how much you weighed at birth?"

"I was a few weeks early, so I was around five. And Derek was almost nine," Meredith said.

"Well, by that average, she should be about seven pounds. But she looks petite to me. I'm guessing she'll be around six, which is good news for you. Obviously larger babies increase the chances of C-sections or episiotomies, but I won't scare you with that," Dr. Halloran said, laughing. "You're young, healthy, and fit. I think you'll be just fine."

"I hope so," Meredith sighed amusedly. She focused her eyes on the screen and smiled at her daughter. "So, she looks good then, right?"

"Definitely," Dr. Halloran nodded. "Developmentally right on track." She zoomed in on Lilly's face and traced her finger of the baby's features. "Eyes, nose, lips. See how she's blinking?"

"She blinks," Meredith giggled, her eyes stinging with tears. "Holy crap. Derek, look at her face."

Derek wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "I know. She looks like you, Mer. Her nose and her lips are just like yours."

"Your chin," Meredith pointed out. "Definitely your chin."

Lilly tucked her foot under her chin and Meredith smiled some more. "And your feet..."

"My feet?" he chuckled.

"Her foot is arched. I have flat feet. So yes, she has your feet," Meredith said, letting out a breath. "She looks like us. How crazy is that?"

"Genetically speaking, not that much of a stretch," Derek winked, teasing her.

Meredith smacked his arm lightly with her hand. "You know what I mean."

Dr. Halloran laughed, then pointed to Lilly's hand as it waved over the screen. "She has fingernails and toenails, too. And not just peach fuzz on top of her head anymore. She has real hair now. It's tough to see hair on ultrasounds, but by now, she definitely has it."

"She'll have his hair," Meredith said assuredly. "Every Shepherd has that hair."

"She seems to be a good mix of both of you," Dr. Halloran smiled. She set the wand down on the cart and began wiping the gel off Meredith's belly. "Everything looks great. You're healthy. Baby is healthy. You really couldn't ask for a better pregnancy."

With Derek's help, Meredith sat up on the table and smoothed her scrub shirt over her stomach, then smiled at her doctor. "I'm relieved. Especially that she's not transverse or breech. I want to avoid a C-section at all costs. I hear the recovery is hell."

"It's major abdominal surgery," Dr. Halloran concurred, printing out a stack of ultrasound pictures for them, and loading the footage onto a video. "Unless it's absolutely necessary, I always encourage my patients to opt for vaginal delivery. And like I said, barring any complications, I think you'll be good to go."

"Good," Meredith said softly.

"So," Dr. Halloran began, "have you given any thought to maternity leave?"

"Yeah. I think I want to stop once I hit thirty-six weeks. I know I could probably push it to thirty-seven, but if it's safer for both of us, I want to do what's best," Meredith said, trailing a hand over her belly.

"I was going to advise thirty-six weeks, especially for a job like this, when so much time is spent on your feet. All of the walking around and standing for long hours could result in premature labor because of all that pressure from the baby on your cervix. So we definitely want to avoid that. And by that point, most women are ready to stop. Your body is preparing for birth, so resting is the best thing for you," Dr. Halloran said wisely.

"That's what I'll do then," Meredith agreed. "And Derek can wait on me hand and foot."

Dr. Halloran laughed, handing Meredith the photos and the video. "That sounds like a good plan to me."

...

"She's the cutest baby I've ever seen," Izzie gushed as Meredith and her friends sat at their lunch table, ultrasound pictures being passed around. "Look at her tiny fingers!"

"Yeah," Meredith giggled. "She's pretty awesome."

Alex sipped soda through his straw when Cristina passed him a picture, and he smiled. "She kinda looks like you - like a blobby, baby version."

"She does. It's creepy," Cristina agreed, taking a bite of her tuna salad.

"Don't listen to them, Mer. She's beautiful," George said.

"Thank you, George," Meredith replied, patting his arm. Just as she was about to bite into her sandwich, she felt a swift kick in her ribs that nearly took her breath away in surprise. "Oh!" she gasped, massaging her hand over her belly. "Lilly, those are my ribs. I know they're in your way. Just... gentler, please."

The four others at the lunch table stared at her. "Does she really kick that hard?" Izzie asked.

"Yes," Meredith answered. "It doesn't hurt, but she's... powerful. Especially when I'm not expecting it. Wanna feel?"

"Me first!" George said, tossing his fork onto his plate.

Meredith took his hand and placed on her belly, right below her ribcage. "She's moving right now. Feel her?"

"Are those her feet?" George asked excitedly. "Iz, feel," he instructed, taking Izzie's hand and replacing his with hers.

"Yep, those are her feet, which are arched, by the way. She has Derek's feet," Meredith said proudly, leaning back in her chair while her friends touched her scrub covered belly. "Oh, and his chin. See?" She picked up a picture of the baby's face from the table and showed it off to them.

"Damn, she does," Cristina said. "Wait, but now that you know what she looks like, doesn't that take the fun out of the whole stupid, magical birth part you two get so gooey over?"

"No," Meredith laughed. "We can't wait to see her for the first time."

Cristina looked over at her. "Even when she's all covered in blood and goo?"

"Of course," Meredith said, smiling as Lilly continued to move around, something she seemed to do a lot of while Meredith ate, following by a sleepy period for a few hours after her stomach was full. Every move of Lilly's still fascinated her, and they felt comfortably in sync. "She's our baby."

"What if one of us is assigned to OB that day? Well, not me. But one of them..." she said, motioning to the other three with her spoon.

Meredith peeled off the lid to her pudding cup and giggled. "Ideally, Derek would be the one delivering the baby, so no one else would see me... down there. But since he's a neurosurgeon and not an obstetrician, that's not happening. I'm not adding salt to the wound by having one of you guys in the room. I love you all, but... no."

"Well, if you need an extra birthing coach, I'm available," Izzie offered eagerly.

Meredith just smiled. "Okay, I'll keep that in mind."

...

"Can you get the Raisinets, Der?" Meredith called into the kitchen, a bowl of popcorn balanced on her belly as she set up the DVD with the remote. It was only 7:30, and to be home from work, showered, and settled in so early was rare, so they decided to put the time to good use. "Oh, and more of that peach juice, please?" she requested.

"Coming right up," Derek replied.

Meredith smiled. As far as husbands go, she'd gotten pretty damn lucky. "Thank you."

Derek walked into the living room with two glasses and the box of candy, and dropped down next to her on the couch. "Need anything else before we start?" he asked.

"No, I'm good." She snuggled into him and yawned. "But thank you. I know I'm a pregnant pain in the ass," Meredith giggled.

"You're not a pregnant pain in the ass," he assured her, chuckling. "Lilly relies on you, so I want you to rely on me."

She leaned into him and kissed him. "Love you."

"I love you, too," he whispered.

"Ready for the movie?" Meredith asked, ripping open the yellow candy box and dumping some Raisinets into the popcorn bowl.

Derek picked up the remote from the top of the blanket that covered them and hit the play button. "Yep. Sure you don't need to pee first?"

"No," Meredith smirked. "I just went a few minutes ago. I should be good for the next half hour or so."

"Okay," Derek replied, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Just checking."

Midway into the film, Meredith was in the middle of crunching on some popcorn when the bowl that was still conveniently sitting on her belly wobbled a little bit upward. It happened again a few seconds later, and she looked down it. "What?" she asked. "Der, pause it."

Derek pressed pause and looked over at her. "Everything okay?"

"I... look," Meredith said, gasping slightly when the popcorn bowl bounced again. Realization hit her and she smiled. "I think she has the hiccups."

"Yeah?" he removed the popcorn bowl and lifted her shirt up, hoping he could see it through her belly. Lilly hiccupped again and he laughed, spreading his hand over her skin. "Oh my God."

"It's probably from all the popcorn. I read that somewhere," Meredith said excitedly. She put her hand next to his and they waited. "Holy crap!"

"What does it feel like?" Derek asked.

Meredith felt it happen again and she laughed. "Kind of like gas bubbles. Mommy's sorry, Lilly. Hiccups suck," she said. "I wish I knew how to get rid of them for her."

"But it's so cool," Derek couldn't help but point out. "Just a few more minutes."

"Mean father," she teased, but still leaned back on the couch, her hand planted next to his. "Pregnancy is so weird. It's things like this that make me realize I'm sharing my body with someone. We made this tiny person who gets the hiccups and kicks me."

"It's incredible," Derek whispered. He kissed her belly and grinned, trying to soak in these last few weeks of pregnancy. He knew that he'd be holding Lilly in his arms before he knew it, and two blinks later, she'd be going off to college. "She's still inside you, and she's fascinating. I can't imagine what it'll be like when she walks and talks and tells us that she loves us."

Meredith sniffled. Damn hormones, getting the best of her once again. "Stop; you're gonna make me cry."

"Too late," Derek chuckled. "Wanna try eating some peanut butter? I remember my sisters doing that. It's an old wives tale, but apparently, it works," he suggested.

"Yeah, I'll try it," Meredith replied. "This is one of the coolest things she's ever done, but I want her to be comfy so she can sleep in there. Otherwise, she'll be kicking me all night," she yawned. "And Mommy has a big surgery-filled day tomorrow, so I need to sleep."

Derek got up off the couch and went into the kitchen, returning seconds later with the jar of peanut butter and a spoon. "Here you go."

"Thank you." Meredith took a spoonful and put it in her mouth, moaning. "Mmm, God I love peanut butter. Peanut butter and popcorn would be so good together..."

"You're adorable," Derek grinned, kissing her temple.

"Am not," Meredith replied, peanut butter sticking to the roof of her mouth. She rested her head on his shoulder and ate another heaping spoonful. "This is going to make me so constipated, but it's so freaking worth it."

"Wow," Derek replied, nothing short of amused at her disclosure. "Nothing is off limits anymore, is it?"

Meredith shrugged. "We made a baby together. You've seen everything. And you're going to watch me give birth," she said, dropping a few pieces of popcorn and several Raisinets onto her peanut butter spoon. "If that's not closeness, I don't know what is."

Derek hugged her closer to him and kissed her cheek, laughing against her skin. "Good point."