102. It's Called Labor for a Reason

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's. I just love it.

I know I sound like a broken record, but thanks so much for all the reviews! It's awesome to know how excited everyone is. And as usual, I'm sorry about the wait. College really sucks sometimes. Enjoy!

Pain. That's really all Meredith felt. Pain so annoyingly intense that being drugged into oblivion sounded pretty damn good. She lifted Derek's hand and checked the time on his watch. 8:14. Six hours of on and off sleep, give or take. Shooting pains made that really hard to do. The faintest slivers of sunshine slipped through the closed blinds of the window. Meredith smiled through her pain. Lilly would be born on a rare, bright, sunny day in Seattle.

"Derek," she said softly, not wanting to startle him.

Derek's eyes popped open, and he sat up. "Everything okay?"

"I…" Meredith breathed out of her mouth. "Hang on a sec." She squeezed Derek's hand and focused on him while she waited for the contraction to end.

"Really bad?"

Meredith nodded, dropping her head to his shoulder. Once the pain passed, she leaned into him. "Can you get the doctor? I want her to check me."

"Yeah." Derek helped her off her side and onto her back so she would be more comfortable, then disappeared into the hallway, returning within seconds with Dr. Halloran by his side.

"Good morning," Dr. Halloran said cheerfully. "Seems like labor has picked up a lot these past few hours…"

"Yeah," Meredith replied. "I really hope I dilated more. Otherwise, I might need you to drug me."

Dr. Halloran smiled, grabbing a pair of gloves off the counter after washing her hands. "Okay, let's check you out, see if you've made any progress." She sat at the edge of Meredith's bed and lifted the blanket off her legs so she could examine her.

Meredith breathed, in and out, in and out, keeping her eyes trained on Derek. This wasn't pleasant, either, especially now that her labor was getting worse. "Please tell me I'm ready to push…" she joked.

"Not quite there yet," the doctor laughed. "You're at three now, and your water is still intact. Normally, epidurals are given between four and five centimeters, and I think you'll be there soon—if you were thinking about an epidural, of course."

"Maybe," Meredith said. "That's safe for the baby, right?"

"If you opt for it, baby will be just fine," Dr. Halloran replied. "In the mean time, you could try walking around a little, which usually helps the cervix dilate."

"Okay." Meredith ran a hand over her belly. "And can I eat? I know there's all these myths about not eating during labor, but I'm hungry, and ice chips aren't gonna cut it until I push her out."

"Appetite is good. You need to keep your energy up," Dr. Halloran encouraged, washing her hands then drying them off with a paper towel. "Nothing heavy, but sure, you can eat."

Meredith smiled. "Okay, good."

"You're doing a great job, Meredith. Baby's heart rate is nice and strong, too. I'll be back to check on you in a little while," Dr. Halloran said.

"Thank you," Meredith said.

Dr. Halloran left the room and Meredith adjusted her bed to a sitting position. "Three centimeters…"

"I know. That's good," Derek said, leaning over the bed to kiss the top of her head. "Are you hungry? I could get you something."

"Yeah, just some dry cereal or something. I'm kinda nauseous from the pain," Meredith said, taking a sip from her cup of water.

Derek frowned, worried. "You are?"

"It's normal," Meredith assured him, swinging her legs over the bed. "It might just be because I haven't eaten anything in a while."

"What're you doing?"

"I need to pee," she said. "My bladder feels like it's going to explode."

There was a brief knock at the door, followed by the bustle of five people trying to enter at once. Derek turned around and saw their friends standing there, looks of shock on each of their faces. "What the hell? Mer's in labor and no one calls us?" Izzie spoke for the group.

"We got here at one this morning. Would you really have wanted a phone call?" Derek asked, leaning against the wall next to the bathroom door in case Meredith needed help.

"Yes," Lexie replied. "How is she?" She glanced around the room in horror. "Wait, Lilly wasn't born yet, right?"

"No," Derek chuckled. "Mer's only three centimeters. Her water didn't even break yet."

"So this is for real, then? She's gonna pop the kid out today?" Cristina asked.

Derek smirked. "You mean give birth to our daughter? Yes, she is."

Meredith left the bathroom, smiling in surprise when she saw her friends in her room. "Hey. What're you all doing here?"

Izzie gestured to the room. "Uh, you're in labor…"

"Yeah, I am. Is one of you on Dr. Halloran's service today?" Meredith asked. "Please tell me no."

Alex shrugged. "I was supposed to be, but you're like my sister, and I don't really wanna see your girl parts, so I switched for the pit instead."

"Thank you, Alex. That was sweet," Meredith smiled, amused. "I don't want you seeing my girl parts either."

"Are you okay, Mer? Do you need anything?" George asked.

"Derek's getting me food," Meredith said, walking back over to the bed. "But if you could sneak me into an OR gallery, that'd be nice."

"No surgery," Derek laughed. He took her hand and helped her get resettled into bed, then kissed her. "I'll be back."

"Thank you."

"Are you drugged or something?" Cristina asked.

"What? No, I'm not drugged," Meredith replied as she fixed her ponytail. "Why?"

"You're really… calm," Lexie pointed out. "Aren't you supposed to be panting like an animal, threatening our lives?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "No. I'm being… Zen or whatever."

"Zen?" George echoed.

"Yes, Zen. This is a calm environment." Another contraction sprang up on her, and she dropped her head back onto the pillows. "Holy crap."

"What?" Lexie asked.

"Contraction," Meredith breathed. "Ouch ouch ouch…" she groaned.

Izzie stuck her hand out. "Here. Squeeze."

Meredith grabbed hold of Izzie's hand and held on tight until the contraction passed. "These things are getting more and more freaking intense," she sighed. "Thanks for the hand, Iz."

"Are you getting an epidural?" Alex asked.

"I don't know yet," Meredith said. "My plan was to be all hardcore and do it without pain meds., but labor is called labor for a reason. It sucks."

"I say get the epidural," Cristina shrugged. "I wouldn't want to feel a baby shooting out of my vagina either."

"That requires me making it to ten centimeters, and my water breaking. The waiting is the hardest part. A baby shooting out of my hoohoo is the goal. Dr. Halloran said sometime this afternoon. Maybe early tonight," Meredith said, taking a drink from her pink water cup.

Lexie gasped. "Crap! Please tell me you and Derek packed a camera. The camera on my phone sucks."

"Yes, we have a camera," Meredith laughed.

"We need to get primo window space at the nursery. All of the pushy grandparents always hog it," Izzie said. "Oh, that reminds me… I have Team Lilly pins in my cubby."

Meredith blinked. "You have what?"

"Did you say pins? Like, to wear?" Cristina asked.

"Yes. And we're all wearing one," Izzie told them. "Sloan's already wearing his. I even gave him a few to hand out."

"How the hell did you manage that?" Alex asked.

"Where have you been these past nine months?" Izzie joked, refilling Meredith's water cup without Meredith even asking. "I'm surprised he didn't have tee shirts made."

"I'm surprised you didn't," Cristina retorted.

Derek reentered the room holding a box of Cheerios, a granola bar, and a banana, smiling in relief when he saw that Meredith was pain-free for the moment. "Hey. I figured you might want variety, so I got you these," he said, putting the food down on the nightstand.

Meredith saw the pin fastened to his shirt and smiled. "Nice pin."

"Oh. Yeah. I saw Mark downstairs and he gave it to me," Derek grinned, looking down at the pink and yellow pin adorned with glitter. "By the way, thanks Stevens. Very thoughtful."

Izzie smiled. "I've had the idea ever since you guys got pregnant."

"No, we're not pregnant. I'm pregnant. Until Derek puts on a hospital gown and pushes a baby out of his nether region, I'm the pregnant one," Meredith smirked.

"Fair enough," Izzie laughed. "But yeah, you're all wearing a pin."

"Why aren't you wearing one?" Lexie asked.

"It's in my pocket. I have to scrub in with Hunt in ten minutes, so I'd have to take it off anyway," Izzie shrugged. "By the way, the Ziploc bag is sitting on top of the stack of books in my cubby. I'm sure Meredith would appreciate it if you all wore one," she said, using Meredith's name to sound more convincing.

"Yes, I would," Meredith echoed.

Alex glanced down at his watch and sighed. "Crap, we should go."

"If Bailey finds us all in here, she'll probably kill us," Lexie said, getting up off the couch. She patted Derek's shoulder. "Congratulations, you guys. And keep us in the loop, please."

"We will," Derek promised. "Thanks for coming by. We appreciate it."

"Oh, we'll be back," Izzie said. "What's your balloon color preference? Pink? Purple? Variety?"

"Derek will do that. You don't have to," Meredith said.

Izzie cocked her head at them and smiled. "Shut up and pick a color," she said.

"Pink would be great," Meredith replied just to appease her. "Thanks, Iz."

She left the room, trailing after the others, and shut the door on her way out. Derek walked over to Meredith and sat on the edge of her bed. "Sorry. They all barged in at once. I had no warning," he joked.

"It's okay. I figured they'd stop by for a visit eventually. And I'd rather it be now than when I'm pushing." Meredith pointed to her bag sitting on the couch. "Can you get my shorts? I want to put them on, then we can walk around."

"Yeah," Derek said.

After he pulled them from her bag, Meredith slipped them on under her hospital gown. "I should probably let my nurse do this, but whatever. Surgeon trumps nurse," she said, unfastening the fetal monitor strapped around her belly.

"You're not a surgeon today. You're a patient," he smirked, taking her hand and helping her out of bed.

"Irrelevant."

He laughed. "Okay."

Meredith grabbed his hands when a contraction snuck up on her unexpectedly, and she dropped back down onto the bed because the pain coursing through her was that intense. She leaned into Derek, trying to find the words to form a sentence but couldn't even do that. It felt like she was being stabbed from the inside out, and all she could do was moan, trying to force the pain out of her.

Derek knelt down in front of her, his stomach twisting in knots when he saw the look of agony etched all over her face. "Almost over," he whispered, letting her squeeze his hands as hard as she wanted to. "That's it; there you go."

The pain finally went away, and she blinked at the tears pooled in her eyes, not realizing they were there until Derek became blurry in her line of vision.

"You're crying," Derek said worriedly, reaching for a tissue from the box on her nightstand and handing one to her. "Is the pain that bad? Want me to call Dr. Halloran back in?"

"No, I'm okay," Meredith breathed. "It just hurts. It's supposed to hurt."

"It doesn't have to hurt," Derek said. "They can probably give you something."

Meredith shook her head. "I need to dilate more before I get the epidural. Let's walk."

"You sure?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay now. We don't have to walk far; just up and down the hall or something," she said, reaching for the box of Cheerios on the tray table. "I'll bring these."

"Good; you and Lilly need to eat." Derek kissed her forehead, then took her hand, helping her stand up again.

"Lilly needs to be born," Meredith retorted, finding her footing. She slipped her feet into her flip flops and looped her arm through Derek's. "Okay, let's go."

"Okay."

They trekked out into the hall and turned right, walking toward the nursery. The OB ward was generally quiet earlier in the day, new parents and babies still asleep, except for the occasional laboring mothers, or those in the process of pushing.

A nurse wheeled a newborn boy wrapped in a blue blanket toward a nearby patient room, and gently knocked on the door before entering. Both Meredith and Derek snuck a peek at him as they walked down the corridor and smiled.

"He's so tiny," Meredith whispered, opening her cereal box so she could finally get some food in her stomach. "And blonde. Lilly's not going to be blonde…"

Derek laughed. "Maybe. You were blonde when you were born," he said. "It's not impossible."

"I think she's going to come out with a head full of this," Meredith said, combing her fingers through his hair. "Thick and dark and curly."

"Yeah?"

"Mother's intuition," Meredith defended, sprinkling a handful of Cheerios into her mouth. "Plus, they say heartburn during pregnancy means your baby will have lots of hair. Lilly better have your hair; otherwise, all of the heartburn will have been for nothing."

"Or it could've been from all that Taco Bell…" Derek joked.

"So I craved a lot of spicy food. I also craved multiple rounds of sex most nights, and not once did you protest that," Meredith reminded him.

Derek smirked at her. "Why would I protest?"

"Crap, it's happening again," Meredith winced. She shoved the box of cereal at Derek and gripped onto the wood paneling along the wall of the hallway. Her knuckles went white at how hard she held on.

"Deep breaths," Derek coached, rubbing his hand up and down her back as he shielded her from potential onlookers roaming around. "It'll be over soon."

The pain that she felt tearing through her was replaced with a wet feeling trailing down her legs. She looked down at the floor and saw a small puddle at her feet. "Crap."

"What?"

"My…" Meredith exhaled. "My water just broke."

"Alright, that's okay," Derek said. "Just get through the contraction."

Within a few seconds, the contraction ended, and Meredith leaned against the wall, taking a few deep breaths to build up the energy she needed to walk back to her room. "I hate your penis," she said. "I mean, usually I love it. But right now, I'm starting to resent its existence, just a little bit."

"You're allowed to hate my penis today," Derek said, kissing her forehead.

"Thanks," she said softly.

"Want to head back so you can change?" Derek asked.

"Yeah." Meredith took his hand and side stepped the puddle on the floor. She looked down at it, biting her lip. "Remind me to tip the custodians a lot this Christmas. I wouldn't want to clean that up."

Derek chuckled, letting her lean into him as they took the short walk back to her room. "I'm sure it happens a lot in this part of the hospital."

While Meredith was changing into a fresh hospital gown, Derek went to the nurses' station and smiled at Stephanie, who was doing something on the computer. "Hi," he greeted. "My wife's water just broke in the hallway, near 3625."

"That's the second time that's happened this week. Don't worry about it," Stephanie smiled, reaching for the phone. "We'll take care of it for you. And I'll page Dr. Halloran. She should just be finishing up rounds now."

"Okay, thank you," Derek nodded.

He went back into Meredith's room and found her in the bathroom, slipping on a new gown. "Hey. Can you tie this?"

"Yeah," he replied, making quick bows out of each set of strings that hung from the loose material. "Dr. Halloran should be here any minute."

"Okay." Meredith draped her arms over his shoulders and pressed her forehead against his. "Thank you."

"You're the one doing all the work. I'm just the secretary," Derek said playfully, an attempt to make her feel better. He'd never seen her in this much pain before, but still, she was handling it way better than he ever could.

"Impregnator-slash-secretary," Meredith corrected as they left the bathroom. "You're good at both of those."

"Impregnator?"

"Well, you did knock me up," she laughed. "If you hadn't, we wouldn't be here right now."

"True," he said, helping her get back into bed and refastening the fetal monitor around her belly.

Meredith leaned into the pillows and brushed some stray strands off her face. "Seriously, how can sex be so awesome, but labor be so horrible. Damn catch-22."

"Labor leads to a baby. That's a good catch-22," Derek countered, dropping down into his chair next to her bed. "Cheerios?"

"Your optimism is annoying," she laughed, taking the yellow box from him.

"How are we doing?" Dr. Halloran asked, knocking twice before stepping into the room. "I heard your water broke. Now your labor should really pick up." She washed her hands and pulled on some gloves. "I'll check you again to see if you're any farther along, and make sure the amniotic sac completely ruptured."

"Okay," Meredith said, smiling when Derek reached for her hand and held it.

"Alright, let's see…" Dr. Halloran said as she began her brief exam. "You're at four, almost five now. Your cervix is thinning out, and the baby is coming down."

"Almost five?" Derek asked. "Wow."

"Yep. And your water is fully broken. Labor is going to pick up in intensity now," Dr. Halloran said, checking her watch. "It's almost eleven now. If your labor gains some speed and you keep dilating, I'd say you'll be pushing by three or four o'clock this afternoon."

Meredith squeezed Derek's hand and let out a breath. "Okay," she smiled.

"You're also able to get an epidural now, if you wanted one. Feel free to talk it over. Stephanie can page the anesthesiologist for you, and we'll also start you on some Pitocin to keep your cervix dilating," Dr. Halloran said as she washed her hands. "You're doing a great job. Only a few more hours now."

"Thank you," Meredith said, reopening her cereal box after Dr. Halloran left.

"Are you getting one?" Derek asked.

"I don't—" She dropped the cereal box into her lap and curled her knees toward her when a contraction came along. "Owww," Meredith groaned, rolling onto her side.

Derek glanced at the clock on the wall and frowned. Meredith's contractions were getting closer and more painful. Even though she was close to five centimeters, that was only halfway, and the other half would probably be worse. He rubbed his hand over her shoulder.

Meredith closed her eyes tiredly. "This really freaking hurts."

"If you want the epidural, I say go for it. You shouldn't have to be in pain if you don't need to be," Derek said, picking the cereal box up before it fell off the bed and onto the floor.

"Lilly will be okay, right?" Meredith asked. "I know I'm a doctor but my irrational mommy brain trumps that right now. I've read a lot of horror stories online about getting one…"

"Dr. Halloran trumps Dr. Google," Derek said. "Lilly is just fine. You'll be fine, too, even if you don't get one. I'm just saying I want you to be comfortable and be able to get some rest before you have to push. But it's your decision, Mer. Whatever you want to do."

The thought of more frequent and magnified pain literally made her nauseous, and she swallowed. If the hellish stabbing feeling going on inside her could go away for a while, it would be nice. Meredith pressed the call button for the nurses' station.

"I'm still hardcore," she said. "But if this pain doesn't stop, I might start yelling. And because you're standing right here, the yelling would be directed at you."

Derek leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "I wouldn't mind. And yes, you're still hardcore."

…

"Whatever genius came up with the epidural is really my hero," Meredith said, finally enjoying her box of Cheerios without the intermittent searing pain ripping through her.

"That would be John Bonica," he said, flipping through crappy Saturday afternoon TV shows on the basic cable channels the hospital offered.

"You would know that," she accused, smirking at him.

"I'm a neurosurgeon and a pain specialist. Of course I know that," he laughed.

"He's dead, right?"

"Died in '94," Derek replied.

"Shame," Meredith sighed. "If he was alive, I'd seriously send him a fruit basket or something."

Derek leaned back in his chair and smiled at her. "Epidural really kicked in, huh?"

"Hmm, yes," she said happily. "I can't feel anything from the waist down. It's kind of awesome."

"You're having a contraction right now," Derek said, noticing the spike in the monitor.

"Am I?" Meredith glanced down at her belly and bit her lip. "This is weird."

A knock at the door interrupted them, and they looked over at it. "Come in," Meredith called out.

Bailey and Mark entered the room, smiles on both of their faces. "Heard you were in labor," Bailey said. "I just wanted to stop by to say congratulations."

"I was just bored and figured you could use the distraction," Mark grinned, dropping down onto the couch under the window.

"I just got an epidural, so I'm feeling pretty good right now. I'm about halfway there. Just a few more hours… I hope," Meredith said. She saw the Team Lilly pins on both of their white jackets and smiled. "Nice pins."

"Stevens handed me one before she went into surgery with Hunt," Bailey said, patting it with her hand. "Figured I'd wear it before she gave me a guilt trip…"

Meredith laughed. "No, I'm flattered. My daughter has a posse."

"Apparently, she's in competition with all the other babies in the nursery," Derek said. "Even though she's not born yet."

"Competition? No such thing; she'll have them all beat," Mark said confidently. "My goddaughter is gonna be gorgeous."

Meredith smiled at that. "Thank you, Mark."

"So, have you threatened to castrate him yet?" Bailey asked Meredith, cocking her head toward Derek.

"I told him I hated his penis when my water broke in the hall earlier," Meredith said.

"Your water broke in the hall?" Mark asked. "Damn. I wish I could've been there for that."

"But ever since the epidural, I've been a happy camper. If I were to pee myself, I wouldn't know, and wouldn't care," Meredith said with a smile.

Mark narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously, and glanced at her IV bag. "You sure they didn't dope you up with morphine? Because you were pretty out of it that day..."

"Aah, yes. Appendectomy '06," Derek grinned. "I'll never forget that."

"You were high as a kite, Grey," Bailey admitted.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Okay, I have to push a baby out of a very small part of my body in a few hours. Can we not make fun of me? And it's not morphine in the IV; it's Pitocin."

"Have you picked up the dog yet?" Derek asked.

"Bridget's picking him up after work," Mark said, checking his watch. "She should be getting him soon."

"Don't be surprised if he hops in bed with you. He likes to cuddle," Meredith said before crunching on some ice chips from her pink plastic cup.

Mark groaned. "Great."

"Oh, and if you leave a newspaper lying around, he will find it, and tear it to shreds for fun," Meredith warned him. "So, don't do that."

"And have him out to pee by seven, or he'll lick your face until you get up," Derek added.

"Anything else I need to know about Lassie?" Mark asked.

"No, I think that covers it," Meredith said. "Thank you, Mark. We appreciate you guys watching him for a few days."

"I get first dibs on holding the baby… you know, as a favor," Mark decided.

Bailey laughed. "You might have to fight Stevens for that privilege."

"Oh, someone tell her that there's to be no loitering outside the door while I'm pushing, please. That'll just freak me out," Meredith said.

"Not even me?" Mark asked.

"I'll keep them all away," Bailey promised. Her pager beeped and she pulled it from her pocket. "I have to go. There's an emergency coming into the pit. Come on, Sloan."

"I wasn't paged," Mark replied.

Bailey pointed toward the door. "I don't care. Up," she said, like a mother would address her child.

Mark hoisted himself off the couch and sighed. "Fine. But I'll be back."

"We know," Meredith and Derek said in unison.

The door clicked shut behind them, effectively taking away the current entertainment, and Meredith fidgeted to a more comfortable position in the bed as best she could, being numb from the waist down. She glanced at Derek, who smiled at her.

"What?" he asked.

Meredith bit her lip before speaking. "Should I call my dad?"

"Up to you," Derek said, muting the TV and turning toward her. "Might be nice, I guess. Or you could have Lexie call him, if that would be easier for you."

"You think she would?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah," Derek nodded. "Or I could—if you wanted me to. I think he'd want to see you and Lilly after she's born."

"And you," Meredith added.

"I just meant…" he pursed his lips into a thin line, as if he was trying to choose the right words. "You're his daughter, and Lilly's his granddaughter. If I were him, I'd want to know. He cares about you."

"I know," she yawned, her relaxed body finally overcome with the need to sleep after all the pain she'd gone through for hours.

"How about I call him, and you try to sleep a little? It'll be good for you," he said.

"Okay," Meredith agreed. "I guess… just tell him he can stop by tomorrow if he wants. I kind of want tonight to be our night with her, you know, after we kick all our friends out..."

Derek leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Sure."

"Thank you."

He smiled. "Happy to do it."

…

Sleep lasted a blissful two hours before the pain began churning deep inside Meredith again, more acute this time than before. She blinked her eyes open and found Derek sitting by her bedside, rubbing her arm idly while he read a parenting magazine he'd probably snatched from the waiting room.

"Ouch," she croaked, running her hand over her face.

Derek turned toward her. "Hey, you're up," he said. "You okay?"

"Epidural is wearing off," Meredith said. She licked her dry lips and reached for her cup of water. "What time is it?"

"2:51," Derek replied, checking his watch. "You might need them to give you another dose of the meds."

Meredith shifted to a different position in bed, and her breath hitched in her throat. Pain and pressure. Heaping spoonfuls of both. She winced. "Crap."

"What?"

"I feel like I need to push," Meredith said.

Derek's eyes widened. "Yeah?"

"Hmm," she hummed in agreement, gripping onto the bedrails. "Can you get—"

"Going right now," Derek said, flinging the forgotten magazine onto the couch. He kissed her forehead. "I'll be right back, I promise."

Meredith dropped her head back onto the pillows and concentrated on the ceiling tiles. She only counted to fifteen by the time Derek came back in the room with Dr. Halloran, and sighed in relief.

"Feeling the urge to push?" Dr. Halloran asked, quickly washing her hands and putting on a pair of gloves.

"Yeah." She reached for Derek's hand and he took it almost instantly. "A lot," Meredith said.

"Okay, well let's see. You might be able to," Dr. Halloran said. "Just keep taking deep breaths." After she examined Meredith, she smiled. "Wow, I'm impressed. You went from five to ten, and your cervix is fully thinned out."

"So she's ready to push?" Derek asked.

Dr. Halloran pulled her gloves off and nodded. "Yes she is. The baby's head is down very low. I don't think you'll be pushing that long," she told Meredith.

"Holy crap," Meredith breathed, squeezing Derek's hand tightly.

"We'll get you all set up, then you're going to start pushing, okay?" Dr. Halloran said.

Meredith nodded. "Okay."

Derek blinked back the tears in his eyes and cupped her cheeks in his hands. "This is it, Mer," he said before kissing her.

Meredith kissed him back and smiled. "Yeah."

I know. I suck. I'm sorry. If it's any consolation, the title of the next chapter is "Lilly." Make of that what you will. And I'm on spring break all next week, which hopefully means lots of writing time and more frequent updates. ;)