113. Back to Work

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Thanks for your patience. I know I say that every time, but I really mean it. You guys are the best. Enjoy!

The sun was barely risen when the blaring of the alarm broke through the peaceful silence of their bedroom. It only beeped twice before Derek turned it off, not wanting to wake Lilly. Derek groaned into his pillow and draped his arm over Lilly, resting his face by hers.

"Daddy doesn't want to go to work, Lilly," he said softly, his eyes still closed.

Meredith rubbed her nose as she stirred, blinking a few times as her eyes adjusted to the light. "Morning," she mumbled.

"Morning."

"Are you gonna get up?" Meredith asked him.

"Do I have to?" he asked back.

Meredith smiled sleepily. "Probably. You know, if you'd like to keep your job."

Derek breathed in Lilly's baby smell and kissed above her ear. "Hmm, I like you two much more than work."

"When's your first surgery?" she asked.

"At eight. I should be finished around noon," Derek said, regretfully sitting up, wanting nothing more than to lie down and go back to sleep.

"We'll visit you. Lilly and I will bring lunch," Meredith said. Lilly yawned widely, then opened her eyes, gazing up sleepily at both of them. "Sorry, peanut."

Derek smiled and scooped Lilly up, cradling her against his chest. "Did we wake you up? Or did you just want to say goodbye before I left for the day?" he asked, rubbing her cheek with his finger. "Think anyone would care if I brought my baby to work?"

Meredith laughed. "I don't think Babybjorns are welcome in the OR, but you could try," she said. "That's more fun than running errands, which is what I get to do today."

"Where do you have to go?" Derek asked, shuffling out of bed holding Lilly.

"Lilly needs more diaper cream, and we need cereal, toothpaste, and soap for the dishwasher, so we're going to the grocery store. Then we're going to buy stamps at the post office so we can finally mail thank you notes to your mom and sisters, and then we need to swing by the bank," Meredith said, leaning against the headboard. She sighed. "All I need is a minivan."

"I'm pretty sure you did all of those things before Lilly was born, too," Derek pointed out playfully. Lilly started rubbing her nose into Derek's shirt, and he smiled at her. "Hungry, princess?"

"After I buy my mom jeans, Lilly and I will pick up lunch. How about that little sandwich shop near the hospital?" Meredith suggested, propping a pillow on her lap, then adjusting her tee shirt. She reached for Lilly and held her close. "I'll feed you, Lillybug."

"Yeah, that sounds good," Derek said as he walked into the bathroom. "We also need to make sure we show Lilly off around the hospital. Apparently, the cafeteria ladies have been pestering Mark about when they get to meet her," he chuckled.

Meredith smiled down at her daughter, who was peacefully nursing, her eyes slipping shut again. "Hear that? You're famous."

"That'll help when she's applying for her surgical internship twenty-five years from now," Derek joked while he brushed his teeth. "She'll be a shoo-in."

"And because she's brilliant," Meredith added.

Derek spit into the sink and popped his head out of the bathroom, smiling. "I thought that was understood."

...

After hugging Lilly for a solid ten minutes before he left, Meredith watched as Derek finally pulled out of the driveway. She was sad to see him go, because the last few weeks of being home together was like living in their own blissful bubble of parenthood, but she knew that he had to go back to work. Lives had to be saved, and bills had to be paid. There was no way around it.

Meredith kissed the top of Lilly's head and walked toward the stairs. "Since the sun is just coming up now, how about you and I go back to sleep for a while?" she said before yawning.

She climbed the stairs, and trekked back down the hallway, where her warm bed awaited her. When Charlie heard Meredith enter the room, he looked at her briefly from his spot at the foot of the bed then rolled over. Meredith laughed. "You're the laziest dog ever," she said, crawling back under the covers.

"Come here, Charlie," she said, patting Derek's empty side of the bed. Charlie got up and walked over to her, spinning in a circle before plopping down, resting his head on Derek's pillow.

Meredith got herself settled in bed, then let Lilly lie on her chest, placing a protective hand over her back. Lilly nuzzled her face into Meredith's breasts, and closed her eyes within seconds. "I love you, Lilly," she said, closing her eyes, too. She reached over to pet Charlie. "You too, buddy."

Thirty minutes passed before Meredith was awoken by a faint smell, and she scrunched her nose. She opened her eyes, then peeked into the back of Lilly's diaper, unsurprisingly finding the source. As gently and quietly as she could manage, Meredith sat up, and placed Lilly in front of her, hoping she could change her diaper without waking her up.

She leaned over and grabbed a fresh diaper, the powder, and the pack of wipes from Lilly's bassinet, set them next to her, and pulled off Lilly's green pajama pants. After peeling back the adhesive, Meredith worked as quickly as she could, wiping, powdering, and securing a fresh diaper in record time. She bit her lip as she shimmied the baby's pants back up her legs. Diaper changing was an art form, and over the last few weeks, she'd mastered the skill.

Meredith tossed her supplies back into the bassinet, and put the dirty diaper on the nightstand. Just as she was about to pick Lilly up once again, Lilly's blue eyes opened, and she looked at Meredith.

"It's okay. Go back to sleep," Meredith cooed, scooping her off the bed. She put Lilly back on her chest, hoping she would fall back to sleep; but instead, Lilly just wriggled her tiny arms and legs, uninterested in the prospect of sleeping, no matter how much Meredith wished otherwise.

Meredith leaned down and kissed her head. "You're just like Daddy, huh? Once you decide you're up, you're up for good," she said, laughing softly. She glanced over at the clock. 7:18. Earlier than she would've liked to get up, enjoying taking advantage of sleeping in during her leave, but she just shrugged. "Well, we may as well be productive, then."

She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, Lilly cradled in her arm. Charlie made no effort to move, so Meredith just shook her head, amused. "You get this king sized mattress all to yourself. Enjoy it," Meredith said, scratching behind his ears.

Meredith got Lilly's bouncy seat from the nursery, then lugged it back into the en-suite bathroom off their bedroom, and set it on top of the cushy bath mat on the floor. "Okay, Mommy's going to take a shower," Meredith said, laying Lilly in her seat, and fastening the buckle. She pressed the power button, and it began bobbing gently up and down.

When Lilly's thumb went to her mouth, and she began contentedly sucking, Meredith nodded in satisfaction. "Okay, good," she said, kissing her nose. "I promise, I'll only be ten minutes."

She turned on the water faucets in the shower, then stripped off her clothes, tossing them in the hamper next to the towel rack. "I'll just be on the other side of the curtain," Meredith said as she stepped over the side.

The warm water hit her skin, and she closed her eyes. Since her post-baby celibacy, Meredith had to find pleasure in other forms of recreation, mostly showering and home-cooked meals, which really were the next best thing to orgasms. She managed to wash her body and her hair without protest from Lilly, peeking out of the curtain every thirty seconds to check on her.

When Meredith spotted her razor sitting in the caddy, she checked on Lilly again. "Can Mommy shave her legs real quick?" she asked. Lilly just looked up at her and continued sucking her thumb, and Meredith smiled. "I'll take that as a yes. Thank you, peanut."

After shaving, Meredith was rinsing off, and ready to turn off the water faucets, but stopped when she poked her head out of the curtain to check on Lilly again. "Uh oh," she said when she noticed Lilly had spit up all over the front of her pajamas. "Okay, uh..." She stepped over the side, dripping wet, and carefully undressed Lilly, taking off her soiled pajamas, then her diaper.

"Rather than getting your tub set up, I'll just wash you off in here, instead," Meredith said, stepping back into the shower. She held Lilly close to her chest, away from the water spray. "Please don't freak out."

Lilly blinked her eyes at the warm, misty water, and looked around curiously, her hand by Meredith's neck. "See? Isn't this fun?" Meredith asked, gently running the wash cloth over Lilly's body. "Daddy and I love the shower," she said before biting her lip. "Crap, I probably shouldn't be telling you that."

But Lilly just rested her head on Meredith's breasts, knowing she was safe in her mother's arms. Meredith smiled when she saw that Lilly's eyes were getting heavy. "Oh sure, now you're sleepy..." she giggled.

Meredith rocked her back and forth, kissing the top of her wet head. "That's okay, you can sleep. I've got you," she whispered. "By the way, if Daddy were here, he'd find all of this very amusing."

...

Derek leaned against the desk at the nurses' station, finishing off the last of his coffee before he was scheduled to go into surgery. He was startled when he felt someone clap him on the back, and he quickly turned around, interrupted from scribbling notes in his patient's chart.

"Hey, man! How's it feel to be back?" Mark asked with a grin on his face, Owen next to him.

Derek smiled. "Hey," he replied. "Uh, the surgeon in me is excited to be back. But the father and husband in me would much rather be at home with Lilly and Mer. I could barely muster the willpower to leave the house this morning. I swear, I've been looking at pictures of Lilly on my phone every five minutes," he chuckled, reaching for it on the desk. He showed them a picture of Lilly in a purple romper, propped up against Charlie on the living room floor, and they both smiled.

"Prettier and prettier every day. Send me that picture," Mark said.

"She's beautiful, Shepherd," Owen complimented. "I think I'd rather be home, too."

"Mer's bringing her up today so we can have lunch. That's getting me through the next few hours," Derek said after sending the picture to Mark's phone. He squirt a few drops of Visine into each eye then blinked, rubbing off the excess with the back of his hand.

"Tired?" Mark guessed.

"After weeks off, you get used to sleeping in. It's an adjustment, getting back into the swing of things," he said, downing the last of his coffee, then tossing the cup in the trashcan. His pager beeped, and he pulled it from the clip on his pants. "They're ready for me in the OR. I should be out by noon, but if I'm not, can one of you call Meredith? Or if you see her, just tell her to hang around, and I'll find her?"

"Got it," Owen nodded.

"Alright, thanks," Derek waved as he walked off toward the OR, his first day back to being a surgeon since before Lilly was born. He got a text from Meredith, and felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. When he saw that she sent him a picture message, he quickly opened it. Lilly wrapped in an over-sized bath towel, with a wet head, sound asleep in her bouncy seat.

Good luck. We love you. :) - L & M, read the message underneath.

He smiled widely, and texted them back, then tucked the phone back into his pocket. He walked into the OR after scrubbing in, and was greeted with happy hellos from his coworkers. "Welcome back, Shep!" called out the anesthesiologist from beneath his mask.

Derek grinned at the OR team, the picture of his daughter instantly brightening his mood for the day. "Thank you. Good to be back."

...

The automatic doors of the hospital's front entrance opened with a swoosh, and Meredith walked through, Lilly in one arm, and lunch in the other. She saw Alex approaching and she smiled. "Hey," she said.

"Hey. Hunt asked me to tell you that Derek's surgery is running long. The chick on the table is pregnant and the baby's BP dropped, so he had to stop operating until the OB doc could get it back under control. But he should be finishing up soon," Alex said.

"Okay."

Lilly looked at Alex, and he waved at her. "Hey, kid," he said. "You know, you look more and more like your mom every time I see you."

"I think Uncle Alex wants to hold her," Meredith said, rocking back and forth on her heels.

"Oh, no that's..." Alex started to say.

Meredith held Lilly out toward him temptingly. "Yes, you do," she said. "Come on. Bond."

"Fine," Alex said, taking Lilly and holding her in his arm. "Damn, she still weighs practically nothing. You sure you're feeding her enough?" he teased.

Meredith laughed. "Believe me, she's a good eater. She gets that from me. I feel like I nurse her all day, every day. I barely even wear a bra anymore," she said as the two walked toward the elevators.

"Hmm, sweet," Alex grinned at her. "So how have you been? It's weird without you here."

"Aww, you miss me?" Meredith giggled. She pressed the arrow up button and readjusted her purse on her shoulder. "I'm good. I love being home with Lilly. Honestly, I've barely thought about work. I'm in twenty-four-seven mommy mode now. Well, that, and I'm sex-deprived."

"Still no feeding of the beast?" Alex asked, stepping onto the elevator after Meredith.

"I go next week to see Dr. Halloran. I'm probably going to mount Derek the second I get home," Meredith said before shaking her head in spite of herself. "Sorry, I shouldn't be telling you all this. I know you don't care about yeast cream and tingling feelings..."

"Nah, go ahead. I'm already holding a newborn. You can talk chick to me... tell me all the porny details," Alex said.

"Not much on the porn report. Next week, though? I'll reveal all," Meredith joked, fixing Lilly's strappy, pink sandal.

"Looking forward to it," Alex said.

The elevator doors opened, and Derek stood there, phone to his ear. When he saw Meredith and Lilly inside, he ended the call and slipped his phone back into the pocket of his scrubs. "Hey, I was just calling to let you know that I was out of surgery," he said, stepping aside so they could get off.

"Yeah, Alex said it ran long," Meredith said, smiling when Derek kissed her cheek.

"Altman's doing a surgery in OR 2, so I'm gonna go meet Izzie in the gallery," Alex said, gently handing Lilly over to Derek. "Let Iz know about next week."

"Okay, I will," Meredith replied.

"Next week? What's next week?" Derek asked confusedly, propping Lilly over his shoulder and pressing kisses to her forehead.

Meredith smiled. "The end of our sex drought. They might watch Lilly for us overnight," she said. "You know, so she doesn't have to listen to all the noise."

"Oh, God," Derek groaned, his face flushed with embarrassment. "Well, uh, yeah... we'll let you know."

Alex smiled at Lilly and shook her tiny hand. "See you later, beautiful," he said. He waved at the two of them. "See you, guys."

"Bye," they said in unison, walking down the hall toward Derek's office to eat lunch.

The smile didn't leave Derek's face as he hugged Lilly to him, reminiscent of how he was this morning before he left for work. "Daddy missed you so, so much, Lillybug," he said.

Meredith couldn't help but laugh. "You saw her, like, seven hours ago..."

"Yeah, you just wait until you have to come back. Seven hours is an eternity," Derek chuckled.

"Yeah," Meredith said, biting her lip. She still hadn't told him about the possibility of extended leave, or even taking time off, and as her maternity leave dwindled down each day, the less she liked to think about it. It hurt her that Derek had to go back to work; the thought of both of them leaving Lilly was unbearable.

She played with the hem of her shirt as they walked. "So, uh, how's your day been?"

"Good. Surgery was a success. I showed the whole OR team Lilly's picture from this morning. She's the cutest baby they've ever seen. The vote was unanimous," Derek bragged, taking his key ring from his pocket and unlocking the door to his office.

"Well, good. Otherwise, we'd have a problem," Meredith laughed. "I knew it was tough for you this morning, going back to work, so I thought a picture might cheer you up."

"Made my whole morning. Thank you," Derek said as they dropped down onto the couch under the window. "Were you in the tub today?"

"Actually, she got her first shower," Meredith said, pulling the sandwiches she'd purchased from the deli out of the plastic bag.

"Shower?"

Meredith nodded. "I was in the shower, and she spit up all over her pajamas. And since you were off being a neurosurgeon hero, I had to be creative," she said, tickling the bottom of Lilly's foot after taking off her sandals and smiling when Lilly kicked her leg in response.

"Neurosurgeon hero. I love that you think that highly of me," Derek smirked. "So, how was she?" he asked, reaching for his sandwich.

"She liked it, actually. I expected protest, but she let me wash her," Meredith said.

Derek cradled Lilly in his left arm so he could eat with his right, and smiled at his daughter. "High five," he said, tapping her fist with his palm.

"She liked it so much, in fact, that she fell asleep while I was holding her," Meredith laughed. "Apparently, she won't just fall asleep in the tub. Showers work, too."

"Which reminds me, one week until you and I can have our soapy shower time," Derek said before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"We've had soapy shower time since Lilly was born... well, usually because we're too tired and don't feel like waiting for the other to finish, so we both just jump in," Meredith admitted, smiling when Lilly nuzzled her nose into Derek's shoulder and closed her eyes.

"Exactly. I'm talking about the kind that ends with me holding you up against the shower wall," Derek said.

Meredith cocked her head toward Lilly, eyes wide. "Derek."

"Hey, enjoy the days when we can have grown up conversations with her in the room. Before you know it, she'll be asking us what S-E-X is," Derek pointed out.

"Or even worse, she walks in on us," Meredith said, cringing slightly, licking some mustard off her finger.

Derek frowned. "Yeah, we'll have to install a lock at some point. Can't take any chances."

"Speaking of not taking any chances, when I go for my appointment next week, I was thinking of getting an IUD," Meredith said.

"Yeah?" Derek asked.

"Yeah. We need to use some form of birth control, and after going condom-less for so long, I don't want to go back. It's so much better without them—for both of us. And with Lilly and work, I know I'd forget to take the pill every day. An IUD just makes the most sense. Once it's in, we're good for up to five years. No muss, no fuss," Meredith said.

"Five years?"

"I know we're not waiting five years to have another baby. I just mean we'd be protected for as long as we wanted to," Meredith shrugged, unscrewing the cap to her bottle of water. "Once the doctor takes it out, we can start trying again right away."

"Whatever you feel the most comfortable with is fine with me," Derek said.

"Bridget's had one for a couple years, and has no complaints. She actually gave me the idea," Meredith said. "It'll just be easier, I think."

"Okay," Derek nodded.

"Hear that, Lilly? Now you're guaranteed to be an only child for at least a little while," Meredith said. She opened her small pouch of chips and popped one into her mouth. "How long do we want to wait? I mean, ballpark?"

Derek mulled the question over as he chewed. "I don't know. What do you think?" he asked.

"I was thinking we could start trying again when Lilly was one and a half, maybe start trying that January or February before," Meredith replied. "It took a few months for me to get pregnant last time, so I figured by the time the second baby was born, Lilly would nearly be three, maybe a little younger. She'd be a toddler, and potty trained, which would make it easier. Plus, she'd be really helpful. And I'd be done my residency, so I'd have a lighter schedule."

"Wow. You've put some thought into this, huh?" Derek teased her.

Meredith flung a chip at him but smiled. "I really just want them close in age how you and your sisters are. I didn't have that growing up, and I want that for Lilly and her down the line brother or sister."

"Me, too. And if we're set on having two kids, I guess we shouldn't wait too long. It'll just be harder if Lilly's already in grade school, and then we have a newborn. If they're close in age, they'll be right behind one another, you know? It just makes sense, as far as timing it," Derek said.

"Exactly."

"Okay, then," Derek grinned. He kissed Lilly's cheek. "How's that sound, Princess? Is that a plan?"

"Look at us, planning our future during your lunch break. We're very efficient," Meredith said.

"It's not over yet," Derek said, attempting to peel off the lid to his yogurt with one hand, the other holding Lilly.

Meredith took it from him and easily opened it. "What do you mean?"

"I wasn't kidding about the cafeteria ladies. This morning, I went down for coffee and told them you were coming in with Lilly. If we don't go show her off, I'll have to suffer their wrath," he chuckled, smiling when she handed him his yogurt back. "Thank you."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. Plus, they usually give me free breakfast and coffee whenever I'm here early," Derek said. "I don't want that to end."

"So, you're basically whoring out our baby for free pastries?" she laughed.

"Well, it sounds bad when you put it like that."

Meredith narrowed her eyes playfully at him. "You are unbelievable."