117. No Need for Wishes

Disclaimer: If I owned it, Meredith and Derek would be allowed to be happy once in a while. So clearly, Grey's doesn't belong to me.

Derek pressed Lilly's tiny bare hand into the pink ink pad, and then onto Meredith's birthday card, opened on the coffee table. "That's it. Keep your fingers spread," he said, gently pushing her hand onto the card, next to where he signed both of their names.

He pulled her hand away, smiling at how it turned out. "Beautiful," he said, taking a wipe from the pack and cleaning the ink off her hand. "Good job, Princess."

Derek glanced at his watch. One hour until Meredith's twenty-four hour shift ended at noon, which meant he had to start getting them both ready to go. He got up off the couch, Lilly cradled in his arm. "Alright, let's get you dressed," he said, heading toward the stairs. "You, Mommy and I are going out to lunch today, so how about we ditch the pajamas for something more fancy?"

Lilly just put her thumb in her mouth, seemingly unconcerned by whatever outfit Derek wanted to dress her in. Derek laughed. "Okay, I'll pick, then," he said, opening her closet doors. He shuffled through the rack, and pulled out a sleeveless dress. "How about this? Yellow, summery, flowery. I think Mommy picked this out when she was pregnant with you."

He laid Lilly down on the changing table and unsnapped her pajamas. "Today is all about Mommy. I know she's been working a lot, and that it's hard for her to be away from us, but she's gotten better in the last two weeks," he said, taking off her old diaper.

After cleaning her, Derek slid a fresh diaper under her bottom and fastened it around her waist. "You and I are doing just fine though. We have fun. Bottles whenever you want, always a clean diaper, our daily tummy time and Elmo's World," Derek said with a smile, slipping Lilly's dress over her head. "I never thought I'd be a semi-stay-at-home dad, but I really do love being home with you."

He leaned down to kiss Lilly's forehead, then reached for her sandals in the plastic bin under the changing table. "How about these? White, strappy? Mommy would approve, right?" he asked. "I think so."

Derek put her sandals on her tiny feet and secured the buckle, making sure they weren't too tight. "Not to brag, but I'm getting good at putting your outfits together. And doing your hair," he said, grabbing a white bow and clipping it on a tuft of her dark hair.

"Beautiful," Derek said, picking her up and holding her to his chest. "Ready to go? Maybe we can sneak Mommy out a little early."

Lilly looked up at him and he grinned. "Alright, then. You can be my partner in crime."

...

They arrived at the hospital right around noon, then walked toward the elevators to meet Meredith upstairs. It arrived just as he pushed the up button, and much to Derek's surprise, Meredith was inside, dressed and ready to go. "Hey," he greeted.

Meredith smiled as she stepped off, immediately reaching for Lilly. "Hey," she said. "Hi, peanut."

"Happy birthday," Derek said, putting his hands on her cheeks and kissing her.

"Mmm, thank you," Meredith replied. She took his hand, and they started heading toward the exit and back to the car. "Still taking me on a hot date?" she teased.

"Well, it's the end of July, so yes, temperature-wise; but considering Lilly is with us, we might have to save the steamy romance for tonight," Derek smirked, pulling his keys from his pocket.

Meredith laughed. "I can live with that," she said.

He unlocked the doors and slipped into the driver's seat, while Meredith secured Lilly into her car seat in the back. "So, did everyone decorate your cubby, even though you told them not to?"

"Of course. Izzie insists on doing it every year," Meredith said, getting into the passenger seat. "When I walked into the resident lounge to brush my teeth after I woke up this morning, there were already balloons and a birthday sign on it. But it was okay. My neuro surgery got rescheduled, so Mark let me assist on a hemiglossectomy. His gift to me."

"That makes lunch at Camparo's seem pretty lame," Derek joked as he backed out of the parking spot and drove toward the main road.

Meredith shook her head. "The last thing I ate was a breakfast bar and coffee five hours ago. I'm ready to chew my hand off. Believe me, I'd trade surgery for some fettuccine right now," she said. "How was Lilly last night?"

"She was good. She woke up twice to eat, and once for a diaper change. No problems," Derek said.

"I missed sleeping next to her. She's so warm and squishy, and she has that baby smell. I had to hug onto a pillow last night as a replacement. Not the same at all," she said.

"We can sleep in as late as you want tomorrow, all three of us," Derek said.

"Good. I've barely slept at all this week. And you and I haven't even had sex in eight days. Eight days, Derek. Not counting the five weeks after I had Lilly, that's probably the longest we've gone without. So yeah, we're having lots of birthday sex tonight," Meredith said.

"Shower, bed, counter top. You name it. You're the birthday girl," he grinned, checking his mirror as he switched lanes.

Meredith reached for his hand across the console. "Romantic," she said. "You're not working tomorrow night, right?"

"No, Sunday. I go in for two surgeries in the morning. I should be home by three," Derek said.

"So, we really get a whole uninterrupted Saturday to ourselves?" Meredith said, turning around to check on Lilly in her car seat. "This is probably my favorite birthday ever, especially because you're here now," she told her daughter.

Derek smiled. "This time last year, she didn't even exist. Not even an embryo."

"How weird is that?"

"Weird," Derek laughed.

"You were just a distant sperm and egg, Lillybug," Meredith said.

"Eww."

"What? It's true," she shrugged. "I miss being pregnant with her. I mean, going into week forty-one, I was getting a little antsy, but still. I even miss the way she'd headbutt me in the bladder and kick me in the ribs."

"That was incredible—not you being uncomfortable, but just... I don't know. Knowing that we made a person that moved and breathed and had tiny hands and feet. I understand the science of it, but the miracle part? I don't think I'll ever get over that," Derek said.

"Me either."

"And lucky for you, I fully intend on knocking you up again, so we can enjoy it all a second time," Derek said, glancing over at her and smiling.

Meredith giggled. "That's not part of your birthday present tonight, right? Because I think I'm good with one baby for now."

"No. At some point, yes. But not tonight," he assured her.

"Okay, good," Meredith said. "You know, Mark offered to watch Lilly this afternoon while we went out to lunch. Maybe we should've taken him up on that..."

"Oh, yeah? Why is that?" Derek asked.

"Because talking about birthday sex is making me horny, and I think it's culturally frowned upon to have sex in the car while your baby is in the backseat," Meredith teased.

"Replace sex with fettuccine and breadsticks. And cheese. Lots of parmesan cheese. Oh, and your favorite, chocolate mousse," Derek said.

"Mmm," she moaned, closing her eyes at the thought. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd trade sex for all of that right now."

"Well, that's a nice kick in the ego," Derek said, feigning hurt.

"No offense. You know I always choose sex over food, just not when I'm starving. There will always be a special place in my heart for your penis," Meredith said before pausing. "Okay, I didn't mean for that to sound creepy and disgusting, I swear."

Derek smirked. "Believe me, I know where that special place is. I visit there often," he said.

"Okay, now you're just being mean," Meredith said.

"Sorry," Derek smiled as he turned right into Camparo's parking lot. He pulled into a parking spot close to the entrance, and cut the engine. "But we're here now, so we can put a pin in this conversation."

"Thank God," Meredith said, unbuckling her seatbelt. She looked to the backseat. "I guess we should bring the whole car seat in with us, so we can clip it to a high chair. They have high chairs here, right?"

"Yeah, I asked when I made the reservation," Derek said, both of them getting out of the car.

Meredith opened the backseat door and Derek unclipped the car seat from the base, then took it out, Lilly buckled inside. "Good. Although, I can't imagine people bringing their babies here often."

"Who cares? Lilly's a good baby. She deserves lunch at a fancy restaurant as much as you do," Derek chuckled. "Even though she can't eat any of it."

"That reminds me, she's not hungry, right?" Meredith asked, holding the restaurant door open for him because he was carrying Lilly in the car seat.

He shook his head. "No, I gave her a bottle about an hour ago. She's good."

"Okay," Meredith said.

"Hi, welcome to Camparo's. Do you have a reservation?" the hostess asked politely.

"Yes, 12:00 under Shepherd," Derek said.

The woman looked down at her book and spotted their name on the list. "Okay, great," she said, grabbing two menus. "If you would follow me, I'll take you to your table. Would you like a highchair?"

"Yes, thank you," Meredith said.

They followed the hostess to their table on the patio covered by an awning, and still well ventilated enough that the warm July heat wouldn't be uncomfortable. She set the menus on the table, and the high chair next to it. "Your server will be with you shortly. Enjoy your meal," she said. "By the way, your daughter is gorgeous."

"Oh, thank you. We think so, too," Derek grinned, fastening the car seat to the high chair. He unbuckled Lilly and picked her up. "Taking a baby to a restaurant is a lot of work, Lillybug."

"I know. Remember when it was just get up and go?" Meredith said, sitting down in her chair. "Now we have a checklist of a million things."

Derek sat down across from her, Lilly cradled in his arm. "Wouldn't trade that for anything," he said, kissing the baby's forehead.

"Okay, my turn," Meredith said, reaching her hands across the table.

"Oh, come on. I've only had her for ten seconds," he chuckled, but still passing Lilly over to Meredith.

"I thought I was the birthday girl," she countered, pressing kisses to Lilly's cheek. "You look very pretty."

Derek opened his menu and smiled at her. "I remember you picking out that dress when we went shopping back in April or May when you were pregnant. I knew it was one of your favorites."

"And her hair and the shoes... I'm impressed," Meredith said, flipping open her own menu with her free hand.

"Having four girly sisters and nine nieces taught me a lot over the years," Derek chuckled.

Meredith smiled. "I guess it's a good thing we had a girl," she said. "You know, I really thought we were having a boy."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I don't know why. I mean, it's pretty clear that girls dominate the Grey and Shepherd gene pools. We both only have sisters, and a lot more nieces than nephews. But I still thought there was a boy in there," Meredith said, rubbing Lilly's arm with her finger. "But when we saw her little girl parts on the sonogram, I was so happy. I never really had a mother-daughter whatever, and I knew that now, I could. Either way, I would've been thrilled, but I'm really happy we made a girl."

"Me, too," Derek said softly. "And I knew it all along."

Meredith sighed playfully. "Yes, you did."

Their meal was practically finished when Lilly got fidgety, and started wriggling in Meredith's arm. Meredith bounced her gently, trying to keep her from having a full-blown meltdown. Lilly didn't cry often, but when she did, she made it a point to show that she was upset. "Hey, you're okay. Are you bored?" Meredith asked her.

"Want me to take her?" Derek asked after he swallowed a piece of his steak.

Lilly let out a wail, and her face scrunched up in wrinkles. "Uh oh," Meredith said, dropping her fork onto her plate so she could hug Lilly to her chest, letting her look over her shoulder. "What's wrong, peanut?" she asked, lifting up her dress to peek into the back of her diaper. "She peed, but she doesn't usually cry over that. Maybe she's just tired?"

"Maybe," Derek said, noticing the glances they were getting from nearby restaurant patrons. "She got a shorter nap than usual because of lunch today."

"I would nurse her, but I'm wearing a dress, so I can't really do it discreetly in here. Can you get me a bottle from the bag?" Meredith asked.

Derek nodded, reaching down to grab the diaper bag next to his chair. He pulled one out and shook it, hoping it was warm enough for her so she'd drink it. "Here you go," he said.

"Thanks," Meredith said as she took it from him. She switched Lilly to a cradled position in her arm again and placed the bottle nipple against Lilly's lips. Lilly sucked tentatively for a few seconds before she spit it out, and continued to cry, nuzzling her face into Meredith's chest. "I think she prefers my boob."

"Can't say I blame her," Derek chuckled.

Meredith rolled her eyes at him, managing to laugh despite her frustration at not being able to quell Lilly's tears. "Shut up," she said. "Okay, just, uh... get the check."

"What? What about your chocolate mousse?" Derek asked.

"Lilly trumps chocolate mousse," Meredith said, getting up from her chair. She grabbed the diaper bag, and kissed Derek. "We already ate dinner. We can get dessert later."

Derek smirked. "Is that a euphemism?"

"I didn't mean for it to be, but yeah, I guess it kind of is," she said. "Meet you in the car?"

"Yeah," Derek agreed, pulling his wallet from his back pocket. "I'll be there in a few."

"Okay."

Meredith slung her own bag over her shoulder and rummaged for her keys as she walked out of the restaurant. When she spotted the car in the lot, she pressed the unlock button on the key fob, then opened the passenger side door. "One second, Lilly. Let me start the car so I can turn the air on," she said, turning the key in the ignition, and blasting the air conditioner in the hot car.

Once the car started to cool off, Meredith took two blankets from Lilly's bag, wrapping one around her daughter so she wouldn't be cold, and draping the other over her shoulder after pushing down the strap of her dress. "All set, Lilly," she said, guiding the baby to her breast.

Lilly immediately latched on, her hand going on top. She didn't suck fast, like she normally did when she was hungry; she was gentle, as though all she wanted was Meredith's warmth and comfort. Tears burned Meredith's eyes at the thought, mommy guilt hitting her like a lightning bolt.

"I know I haven't been around to nurse you as often as we'd both like. I'm sorry about that, Lilly," she said, smiling when Lilly looked up at her with the blue-green eyes that she'd gotten from both her parents.

"You know, you haven't even been here for two months, and I can't imagine you not being here. Like Daddy said, this time last year, you didn't even exist. On my last birthday, I wished for a baby when I blew out the candles—which I know is superstitious and tacky, but I figured we could use all the help we could get. We'd only been trying for a few months, but that was enough to make me paranoid, like maybe it wasn't meant to happen. But then it did. I peed on a stick while Daddy held my dress, and we finally got a positive. I'll never forget that night, Lilly. You were the size of a pea, and Daddy and I were completely in love with you."

Meredith leaned down and kissed Lilly's forehead. "Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that. You'll hear that story a thousand more times as you grow up, but I just thought it would be good to tell you that today. I don't need to make a wish on birthday candles ever again, because you're here," she said, wiping under her eyes. "I never thought my life would turn out like this, Lilly, and I'm grateful for it every day."

Derek opened the driver's side door and slipped inside, holding a takeout bag in his hand. "Hey. How's she doing?" he asked.

"She's fine. I think she just wanted to nurse," Meredith said. "What's in the bag?"

"Chocolate mousse."

Meredith turned her head toward him. "We didn't order that."

"The waitress asked where you went. I said our daughter was getting fussy, so we had to leave before dessert. And when I told her it was your birthday, she comped us a free chocolate mousse," Derek said.

Meredith smiled. "That was sweet," she said. "I would eat it right now, except I feel like I'm going to explode."

"Later, then. During our break of marathon birthday sexing," Derek said, kissing her cheek before putting the bag in the backseat next to Lilly's car seat.

"Deal."

"Maybe Camparo's wasn't such a good idea," Derek said.

"Are you kidding? After eating practically nothing but hospital food all week, I couldn't wait," Meredith countered. "Interrupted sex, interrupted lunch... just part of being a parent."

"Don't jinx us for tonight," Derek teased.

"Eight days, remember? We will have sex," Meredith said.

Derek smirked. "Well, someone's eager."

"Damn right, I am," she agreed, looking down at Lilly as she pulled off her breast. "All done, Lillybug?"

"I'll burp her," Derek said. He reached for Lilly and kissed held her to his chest. "Hey, Princess. Can you burp for me?"

Meredith laughed. "The sooner you burp, the sooner we can leave the parking lot."

...

A pile of opened presents sat stacked next to Meredith on the couch. Nothing extravagant, but just little things Derek knew she wanted or needed. And when he handed her the final gift, Meredith shook her head, amused. "Derek, really, you're already getting sex tonight. You don't need to butter me up with presents," she giggled.

"There's no buttering," Derek said. "Although, that might be fun..."

"Gross."

"Just open it," Derek chuckled, combing his fingers through Lilly's hair, still wet from her bath.

Meredith peeled off the wrapping paper and smiled at what she saw. A dark purple scrub cap with white lilies printed on it. She turned to Derek. "Where did you get this?" she asked, holding it up so she could look at it more closely.

"A scrub store opened up in the same shopping center as the supermarket. I stopped in with Lilly last week just to see if they had anything good. When I saw that, I thought of you. I know you're not going to be an attending for eleven more months, but I figured this could be the start to your collection. You're gonna need them. Purple is your favorite color, and the lilies, well, I figured that was obvious."

"I love it," Meredith said.

"Yeah?"

"Yes." She dropped the scrub cap in her lap and put her hands on his cheeks. "Thank you," she said, kissing him.

"You got me my Clash one, which is my favorite, by the way," Derek said. "You needed one, too."

"It's your favorite?" Meredith asked.

Derek smiled. "You got it for me. Plus, Lilly has the tee shirt to match. Of course it's my favorite," he said.

"I can't wait to wear this," she said, leaning over to kiss Lilly's nose. "Thank you, Lillybug."

"Wanna open your card? It's homemade," Derek said, taking it from the table and giving it to her. "Lilly and I worked on it this morning."

Meredith took the card and ripped the flap of the envelope with her finger, then pulled it out. "Happy Birthday, Mommy," Meredith said, reading the front, written in Derek's best attempt at fancy script, despite his penchant for doctorish chicken scrawl. She opened the card and read the note. "We know you don't like poetry or sappy messages, so we took a picture for you instead," she said, smiling at the photo of Lilly and Derek..

She saw his name signed to the bottom, next to Lilly's stamped hand print in pink ink, still as tiny as it was when she was born. "Did you take this today?"

"Yeah, this morning after she woke up. That's why she in her monkey pajamas, and not her dress," Derek chuckled.

Meredith peeled the tape off the back of it and removed it from the card. "I'll put it in my cubby on Monday. I wanted more pictures in there to look at during the day."

"There's also a framed copy on your dresser," Derek said.

"We need to start hanging all our pictures on a wall. We're running out of room on every surface."

"That's how my desk looks at work. There's eight Lilly pictures sitting on it, along with the ones I have of the two of us," he replied, gently patting Lilly's diapered bottom with his hand, which always relaxed her.

Meredith laughed, crumpling up a wad of wrapping paper and tossing it to Charlie, who caught it in his mouth and started playing with it. "How do you fit that many pictures on your desk?" she asked.

"They're pictures of the three of us. Mostly you and her," Derek said. He kissed Meredith's temple and she leaned into him. "They're worth making room for."

"My cubby is basically a collage now. I think I used a whole thing of scotch tape hanging pictures up in it. Lilly's ultrasound pictures are still in there, too. Cristina makes fun of it. She calls it the 'Shepherd Family Portrait Studio.' But I don't care. Every time I see it, it makes me happy. I remember why I'm there, and that I'm doing it for Lilly," Meredith said, taking hold of Lilly's little bare foot.

"Hence the ten plus pictures I have on my desk," Derek said with a smile, looking down at Lilly. "What do you say, Lilly? Want to give Mommy her cake before you fall asleep?"

Meredith raised her eyebrows at him. "You're not going to sing to me, are you?"

"Fine. I won't sing to you. But next year, when Lilly's talking, all bets are off. We're both singing to you, whether you like it or not," Derek compromised.

"Fine," Meredith said as she took Lilly from Derek so he could get the cake from the kitchen.

Derek returned a few seconds later, holding two plates, two forks, and a vanilla frosted cake with Happy Birthday, Meredith written on it in icing letters. He set it on the coffee table, then struck a match to light the scattering of candles on it. After they were lit, he smiled at her. "Okay, make a wish."

"I don't think I have one," Meredith said, looking down at her daughter. "I think I have everything I need."

"Well, you have to wish for something..."

"Fine, since I can't wish for three year maternity leave, I'll wish for uninterrupted sex tonight. That's pretty rare these says," Meredith giggled.

Derek grinned. "I second that, even though it's your birthday."

"Okay," Meredith said. She leaned toward the table and blew out the candles, careful to keep Lilly away from the small flames.

When they were all extinguished, Derek clapped his hands together in celebration. "Happy Birthday, Mer," he said. "Do you wanna cut it, or do you want me to?"

"No, go ahead," Meredith said. "What kind of cake is it?"

"Chocolate chip. Homemade this morning."

"Wow. You and Lilly accomplished a lot before noon, huh?" Meredith asked.

Derek cut her a slice and handed it to her on a plate. "She woke me up at seven with a dirty diaper, so we had a good head start," he said.

"Up at seven, and a short nap? Maybe we will get some uninterrupted time tonight," Meredith said, smiling at Lilly whose eyelids were becoming heavy. She took a bite of the cake and moaned. "Oh, wow. Screw sex; I'll just sit here and eat the whole cake."

"Good enough to choose over sex?"

"Yes, but I won't, because I've waited eight freaking days already," Meredith said. "Speaking of that, the chocolate mousse sitting in the fridge? I want to eat that off of you..."

"Like I said: your birthday, your rules."

"I want you to eat it off me, too," Meredith said, licking some frosting from her finger.

He cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her. "God, I love you."