170. Game Plan

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Thursday's flawless episode gave me the extra inspiration I needed to finish this chapter in time for the weekend! Seriously, can every episode be like that one from now on? Anyway, enjoy!

Cristina blinked at Meredith in confusion, repeating her question for the third time. "Home birth?"

"Yes."

"Actually having the baby at home?" Cristina clarified.

"That would be a home birth, yes," Meredith nodded, Lilly holding her hand as they walked down the hall.

Cristina held the door open for them as they entered the attending lounge, her curiosity still unsatisfied. "Okay, you know you have my full support, but... childbirth is scary. Blood gushing everywhere and screaming and stitches where no one wants stitches. Childbirth makes heart transplants seem like a walk in the park."

"My birth with Lilly had none of those three things. And I know it's scary, but it's not like Derek is delivering the baby himself on our kitchen table like in the olden days," Meredith reminded her.

"It's a shame Derek isn't an OB. Who better to deliver your baby than the person who knows your hoo-hoo better than anyone?" Cristina said.

Meredith laughed, handing Lilly her stethoscope from her cubby to play with. "I know you're just mocking me, but that would actually be ideal."

"It's eight in the morning. Can we save the hoo-hoo talk until after I've had caffeine?" Alex asked with a yawn, watching as the Keurig machine dispensed coffee into his mug.

"What's the matter with you? Normally you encourage the hoo-hoo talk," Cristina said as she dropped down onto the couch.

"I got pulled into the pit last night when I was on call and delivered a ten pound baby. The mom ended up with third degree tearing. My mind needs to recover from that image before I can talk about hoo-hoos again," Alex explained.

Cristina waved her arm in his direction to prove her point further. "Another reason childbirth is terrifying."

"My birth with Lilly didn't have that, either," Meredith said.

Lilly walked up to Alex and placed the diaphragm of the stethoscope on his leg. "Beep beep!"

"Hey, pretty girl," he said, keeping his leg still for her while he rummaged in the fridge. "Crap, someone finished the last of the coffee creamer. Do either of you have those powder packets?"

"Pregnant. Off coffee," Meredith said. "I do have breast milk, though. You're welcome to substitute with that."

"Gross."

"Fine, your loss," Meredith shrugged. "Anyway, Derek and I have an appointment with Dr. Halloran to talk about all the home birth stuff. We only have two months, so we need to get started planning everything."

As if on cue, Izzie pushed open the door to the lounge, arms piled high with baked goods. Before she even said a word, Meredith knew what her friend was up to, and she crossed her arms over her belly. "Hey, Iz. What's all this?"

"Just a little something to show you how much your friendship means to me. Nothing more, nothing less," Izzie replied casually, setting the stacks of Tupperware containers on the table.

"Uh huh. You're sure it's not bribery muffins, cupcakes, and cobbler to convince me to let you deliver my baby?" Meredith asked.

"Absolutely not."

Meredith smirked, nodding her head. "Right. Okay."

"But..." Izzie interjected. "You know I'd be more than happy to."

"Really? You don't think it'd be weird, being that up close and personal with—Alex, cover your ears—with Mer's vagina?" Cristina asked her.

"Like I said before, I slept across the hall from her and Derek for a long time. Their sex life was no secret... with the moaning and shouting and porny antics every night. As far as up close and personal goes, nothing would faze me," Izzie said.

"As much as I love taking those awkward strolls down memory lane, Derek and I still want to discuss everything with Dr. Halloran first, just to make sure I'm even a good candidate for home birth. He's in surgery with Mark now, but when he's finished, we're going to see her," Meredith said, unable to keep from taking a blueberry muffin from the container. When the taste hit her tongue, she sighed in delight. "Crap, these are good."

Izzie smiled at her small victory. "Tomorrow, I was going to make that apple cinnamon bread that you love."

"Evil," Meredith accused.

"Okay, I'm on board with however you decide to have your baby, but do you know what's worse than pooping on the delivery table? Pooping in your own bed," Cristina couldn't help but add.

"Mama poo?" Lilly asked.

Meredith laughed, breaking off a small piece of her muffin and handing it to Lilly. "Nope, Mama's not going to poo," she assured her. "I didn't poop when I had you. Not planning on it when I have Jellybean, either."

...

"Home birth? Really?" Mark asked, repairing their patient's skull while Derek resected the man's tumor.

"Yeah. Meredith brought it up a week or so ago, and we've been doing research on it. It scared me at first, but we've both gotten more at ease with the idea the more we read about it. Just being home, having Lilly there, making Mer as comfortable as possible," Derek explained.

"Makes sense, I guess. I just never figured hardcore, raised in the hospital Grey would be open to home birth," Mark said.

Derek laughed. "That was my first thought, too. She's in charge, though. Whatever she wants to do, I'm on board with."

"Isn't Stevens certified in home births?" Mark recalled.

"Yeah. Mer's actually open to letting her deliver the baby, which would be fine with me. But if Izzie's there, Cristina will insist in being there. Then Lexie will want to be there. And before you know it, I'm kicked to the hallway because my bedroom is at max capacity," Derek predicted.

"Should I reserve my floor space now, then?" Mark joked, causing Derek to scowl at him. "Oh, relax. I'm kidding. Grey's like my little sister. That would be the height of creepiness."

"Agreed," Meredith said into the gallery intercom, Lilly on her hip.

Derek and Mark both looked up at them, and Derek grinned from ear to ear when he saw his wife and daughter. "Hey, good morning."

"Dada!" Lilly clapped.

"Yeah, Dada and Uncle Mark are pulling a guy's face off, fixing his brain, then putting his face back on," Meredith said before biting her lip. "I'm hoping you're too little to remember this, and the image won't haunt you for life."

"I thought you'd be joining us for this one, Grey," Mark said.

Meredith made sure the gallery intercom was set in the 'on' mode, then sat down in one of the blue chairs in the front row, putting Lilly next to her. "I wanted to, but you both insisted on starting at 5:00 this morning. My intern days are over. No more 3:30 wake-up calls."

"Lightweight," Mark teased.

"In case you've forgotten, I'm growing a human being in my body. I chose sleep," Meredith upheld, peeling off the seal of a yogurt container.

Lilly smiled at Meredith from her chair. "Mommy seep."

"Yeah, Mommy needs all the sleep she can get to grow Jellybean," Meredith nodded. "See? Those of us with uteruses understand. Thank you for having my back, Lillybug."

"My u-tus," Lilly said proudly, pointing to her belly.

"That's right. You have a uterus, too," Meredith nodded.

"Looks like you might be raising the future captain of the vagina squad," Mark commented.

Before Meredith or Derek could reply, Lilly took the opportunity to verbalize the new word she'd just learned. "Bagina," she echoed.

"Every father's dream, hearing that word leave his daughter's mouth. Thanks, Mark," Derek said, checking the monitor.

"Bagina, Ma," Lilly smiled.

"Yeah, you learned a fun, new word. Very good, peanut," Meredith praised, narrowing her eyes at Mark.

"Oh, come on. Isn't it better than she knows the correct term than some slang word for it on the playground?" Mark asked.

"She's a year and a half, Mark. Not many sex talks happening in the sandbox at that age," Derek pointed out.

Meredith fed Lilly a spoonful of yogurt, hoping food would distract her from repeating her brand new word. "It's fine. Just don't say P-E-N-I-S in front of her. One anatomy lesson per day."

"So, Grey... homebirth, huh? Like in the bathtub, floating placenta and all that?" Mark asked.

"You paint a beautiful picture with words, but I'm not sure there's going to floating placentas involved," Meredith said. "Maybe I'll labor in the tub, though. I hear that's supposed to help with the pain."

"Me tubby?" Lilly asked.

"Of course. You get a tubby every night," Meredith nodded, noticing the concealed laughter of a group of interns down in the OR. "Yes, I'm a mommy and I say words like tubby, but I'm still a hardcore surgeon who could easily put you all on scut for a month. Pay attention to the brain in front of you."

The interns quickly dropped their smiles and focused on the surgical field, much to Meredith's delight. She knew they weren't really mocking her mommy-isms, but to know she could put the fear of God into them with a single sentence filled her with a sense of power.

"Hey, where are they? I've been scrubbed in next door with Bailey in all morning. I didn't miss it all, did I?" Lexie asked, dropping down into the chair on the other side of Lilly.

"Hey. No, they're still resecting," Meredith said when she noticed the banana nut muffin in Lexie's lap. "Is that one of Izzie's bribery muffins?"

"Yeah, she has a whole Tupperware container of them sitting at the nurses' station. So, is it true? You're doing a home birth?" Lexie asked, kissing the top of Lilly's head. "Hi, Lillybug."

Meredith was beginning to feel like a broken record each time she answered the question, but knew her friends were going to be curious. So, rather than brushing it off, she simply answered it. Again. "Thinking about it, yeah. We just want Lilly to be included, and if we had the baby here, she wouldn't really get to spend that time with us. I mean, she'd be able to visit, but not stay with us overnight. We want all four of us to be together the whole time."

"I think it's great," Lexie said.

"Yeah?"

Lexie nodded. "Yeah. Molly wanted a home birth with Laura, but when they found out she might be a high risk delivery, they opted for the C-section just in case. Barring any crazy complications, home deliveries are pretty safe. There's actually a lot of articles published about it in the AJOG in the research library. Blue cover, 2013, page 119. That's the most recent one, but there's at least a dozen more," she spouted off, giving Lilly a bite of her muffin.

"I really hope Lilly and Jellybean inherited the photographic memory gene in the Grey DNA like you did," Meredith said.

Lilly smiled up at Meredith as she munched on the muffin. "Bagina."

"Did she just say..." Lexie asked.

Meredith sighed, stealing a piece of the muffin in Lexie's hand. "Yeah, she did."

...

Meredith and Derek sat in Dr. Halloran's office waiting for her to arrive. They would have been bored as they waited, except Lilly was keeping them entertained as she played with the plastic model of the female reproductive system, complete with detachable fetus and organs.

She pointed to the pink, balloon-like structure that contained the fetus in curiosity. "Dat?" she asked.

"That's a uterus. That's where Jellybean lives in Mommy," Meredith explained.

Lilly's mouth formed a tiny 'o' shape as she made the connection, and she pointed to her own belly. "My u-tus!"

"Yeah, just like Lilly and Mommy have," Meredith agreed.

"Dada?" Lilly asked.

Meredith patted Derek's shoulder on cue. "You're the boy. You explain the boy parts."

Deciding to keep it simple, Derek simply shook his head. "No, Dada doesn't have a uterus. Dada has... other parts," he skirted. "What else is on there, Lilly?"

Lilly pointed to a small circle that resembled a raspberry. "A dis?"

"That's called an ovary, where lots of tiny gigis live. That's where you and Jellybean started out before Dada came to help make you," Meredith said before wincing at her own wording. "Okay, that sounded wrong."

"So dirty, Dr. Grey," Derek smirked.

"Obury," Lilly said, her mind absorbing all of her newfound words. She pointed to a thin, tube-like structure attached to the ovary. "Dis?"

"That's a fallopian tube," Meredith said.

Lilly wrinkled her forehead at the strange word, but did her best to repeat it back. "Fopian."

"Very good! You're so smart, do you know that?" Meredith praised her.

Lilly pulled the small, plastic fetus from the plastic uterus, cradling it in her arms as if it were real. "Baby, Ma," she whispered.

"Yeah, that's what Jellybean looks like right now. He'll be a little bit bigger than that when he's born, but he's still going to be very small like you were," Derek said, watching how gently Lilly held the fake baby. "Look at you. You're already a pro. Jellybean is so lucky to have you."

"Baby poo?" Lilly asked, flipping the baby over to check its bottom.

Meredith laughed. "This baby doesn't poo, but Jellybean will. If she's anything like you, she'll poop a lot."

"And you're gonna help change Jellybean's diapers, right?" Derek asked.

"I do," Lilly nodded.

Dr. Halloran entered her office with Meredith's chart under her arm, smiling at the three of them. "Good afternoon," she greeted. "Is that you, Lilly? I can't believe how big you're getting."

"I big," Lilly said with enthusiasm, the fake fetus still tucked in her arm.

"Yes, you are. And pretty soon, you'll have a real baby to hold," Dr. Halloran said as she sat down in the swivel chair behind her desk. "Thirty weeks now. Only ten to go. And I hear you've been thinking about a home birth this time around."

"Yeah. We know it's kind of late in the game to be planning all of this, but the more we look into it, the more interested we get. And because you're certified, we felt even more comfortable pursuing it," Meredith said, her hand draped over her belly. "We loved everything about Lilly's birth. You supported us the whole time, and let us do what felt right for us. We just really trust you, so if you're willing, we'd love to have you deliver this one, too."

Dr. Halloran nodded in gratitude. "I'm so glad you feel that way. Of course I would."

"Thank you. That means so much to both of us. We've been doing our research, but we're still kind of in the dark about exactly what we'll need, how any emergencies would be handled, all of that. Having you on board is a huge weight off our shoulders," Derek said sincerely.

"I'm happy to do it," Dr. Halloran reassured them, handing them a large packet full of information. "Here's what I give to all of my home birth patients. I know it seems like a lot, but we'll go over all of it now, just so you know what to expect when the day comes."

Meredith exhaled in relief, armed with her notebook full of questions and a pen to write down just as many answers. "You're the best; thank you."

"So, the minute you think you might be going into labor, day or night, I want you to call me and start timing your contractions. With most low-risk pregnancy patients like yourself, I won't arrive to your house until you're in a normal labor pattern, usually when your contractions are about five minutes apart. When I get there, I'll check your cervix and put you on a fetal monitor for a few minutes to make sure the baby's heart rate is strong and in good variability with your contractions," Dr. Halloran explained.

"Okay," Meredith nodded, hastily writing down all of the information. "So, it'll just be you there, or do you usually bring someone else along, too?"

"Every nurse in my practice is certified in home birth. So, once you're in a good labor pattern and we know the baby is coming for sure, I'll page whoever is on-call that day, and we'll both come to the house with all of the supplies for the birth and afterward, like any emergency medications you might need, as well as the Vitamin K, Hep. B, erythromycin, cord clamp, suction bulb, caps, and blankets for the baby," Dr. Halloran said.

"Okay, good. That was my next question," Meredith said as she checked it off her list. "And as far as pain relief goes, I'm kind of screwed, right?" she asked before biting her lip. "Sorry, I probably could've phrased that a little more gracefully."

Dr. Halloran laughed. "Hey, this is about you. You can ask whatever you want," she said. "Typically with home births, standard forms of pain relief aren't used, just because they're such high-risk meds. We always bring IV kits in case of emergencies, but with home births, IVs usually aren't used at all, which means the normal pain relief meds. like Stadol or Nubain won't be an option. And obviously because there's no anesthesiologist, an epidural isn't an option, either."

While Meredith knew this already from the research she'd done, hearing it out loud somehow made it more frightening. Though Lilly would be two in a few months, Meredith still hadn't fully forgotten the pain of labor, or the extreme relief that came when the epidural took it all away. Dr. Halloran must have sensed her anxiety, because she smiled at Meredith in understanding.

"Yeah, that's how most women feel, especially when they've had epidurals before and know how great they are. I felt the same way when I had my kids. When I was in labor with my first and felt that first really powerful, painful contraction, I had an epidural five minutes later. But with my second, I was determined to do it all naturally, just to see if I could, and I did. It hurts, and it's exhausting, but it can be done. And there's always alternative forms of pain relief you can try, like the tub or shower or massage. You'll find what works for you. Even just being at home in your own environment is helpful," Dr. Halloran said in support.

"That makes me feel better. Thank you," Meredith said.

"Of course. And while we're on the topic of scary stuff, we may as well have the 'in case of emergency' talk now, to get it out of the way," Dr. Halloran suggested.

Derek swallowed thickly, sitting up straighter in his chair. As a surgeon, he was used to anticipating the worst case scenarios, but when it came to Meredith and their unborn baby, even the smallest risks were terrifying.

"Yeah, that's our biggest concern. Meredith's pregnancy and birth with Lilly were textbook. We're hoping for a smooth delivery again this time around, but there's no way of knowing until it's happening. We want to be prepared for everything," he said.

"Exactly. Safety of mom and baby is always the priority. Like I said, I always bring emergency supplies to every birth. 99% of the time, I don't need to use any of it, but I always have it on hand. Saline, emergency IM injections for postpartum hemorrhage, oxygen and O2 masks in adult and newborn sizes, and suture kits," Dr. Halloran said.

"Okay," Meredith nodded, Lilly climbing into her lap.

"In the event that your labor stalls out, or the baby starts having decels, we may be able to drive you to the hospital depending on your labor stage, or we'd have you airlifted. Same goes if any complications were to arise afterward with you or the baby. I always have the hospital's helicopter on stand-by that day, which is Seattle Grace's policy, since I'm contracted through them. Again, I've never had a single patient need to use it, and I know it sounds scary, but it's best to cover all of our bases, especially since you don't live around the corner," Dr. Halloran said.

"We were going to ask about the helicopter, actually. That makes me feel better, knowing it's ready to go if we needed it," Derek replied.

"Yes, it is. The transport team will know where you live ahead of time, and the quickest route to get to your house," Dr. Halloran added.

Meredith hugged Lilly to her as best she could with her belly in the way, feeling more relaxed as the logistics were ironed out, putting her mind more at ease about the whole process. "Good. That's good," she said softly.

"You're young and healthy, and your pregnancy is considered very low risk. There's no reason not to expect a textbook delivery with this baby, too. The closer you get to your due date, I'll check to make sure the baby's head is down in your pelvis for a vaginal delivery. Then we just wait for labor," Dr. Halloran finished. "Do either of you have questions for me?"

"Yeah, as far as Lilly goes, could she stay with us throughout the day? Obviously, if things got too intense, or I were in a lot of pain, we wouldn't want her to get upset, so we'd have someone there to hang out with her, just in case. But we'd really like her there for the actual birth and when the baby is out. We're going to be getting a lot of pictures and videos, and we want her included in all of that," Meredith said.

"Of course. This is your birth in your house. You get to do whatever feels comfortable for you," Dr. Halloran replied.

"Okay, because we were also thinking of having Izzie there to assist with the birth, if that's okay with you. We haven't given her a definite answer yet, because we wanted to clear it with you first. It's just that she's like family to us, and Lilly's very comfortable with her," Meredith said, combing her fingers through Lilly's hair.

"Absolutely. Having a familiar face in the room is great, especially the baby's godmother," Dr. Halloran agreed.

Derek laughed. "She tells you a lot, huh?"

"Oh, yeah. She loves your kids. She gushes about Lilly all the time," Dr. Halloran shared.

"Zeezee?" Lilly asked.

"Yeah, Zeezee is going to be there when Jellybean is born. Isn't that cool?" Meredith asked her.

"I've done home births where there were siblings, grandparents, and all kinds of family members in the room. You can invite whoever you want," Dr. Halloran told them.

Meredith shook her head. "There won't be a room full of people, trust me. The only ones who get front row seats to my vagina are you and him," she said, patting Derek's knee.

Derek felt his face heat in a hot blush at her unfiltered statement, and it only intensified when Lilly decided to chime in, too.

"Bagina," she said happily.

"Oh, my God," he mumbled.

"She learned that word today. It was just a matter of time, really," Meredith shrugged.

"Brains, beauty and personality. You've got a heart breaker on your hands," Dr. Halloran complimented.

Derek smiled at Lilly as she crawled into his lap, leaning against his chest. "Yes, we do."

...

As promised, Lilly was topping off her eventful day with a bath. She sat amidst the bubbles and rubber ducks, splashing the water's surface in delight. "I spash!"

Derek blinked when water flew at his face, and he wiped his eyes with his shirtsleeve. "Yeah, you're a good splasher. Pretty soon, there'll be more water on me than in the tub," he chuckled.

"That's okay with me. I like when you're dripping wet," Meredith said.

"Do you?"

"I do. Plus, your junk is spectacular. I'm a very lucky girl," she boasted, her pregnant self eyeing him like a piece of candy.

Derek smirked. "Junk, huh?"

"I almost said P-E-N-I-S, but stopped myself. Lady Chatterly here doesn't need to learn any more body parts today," Meredith said.

"It was a good day. Lilly's vocabulary now includes the female reproductive system, we mapped out a game plan for the home birth, and we got to make Izzie very happy," Derek said.

"Didn't expect her to cry that much... or at all, really," Meredith admitted as she squirt some of Lilly's bath soap onto a wash cloth. "But after all the hugging, we got to take home a bakery's worth of pastries, so it worked out."

Derek grinned, taking the wash cloth from Meredith, so she wouldn't have to lean over the tub. "It'll be good, though, having her here. She'll really just be tag-teaming with Dr. Halloran after the baby is born, so during labor, she can help us out with Lilly."

"Yeah, I feel good about it. Especially because I'm really gonna need you. I might be a hardcore surgeon, but going through childbirth without meds? Kinda freaks me out," Meredith said, the baby stretching in her belly. "This little guy's already running out of room, and he still has ten more weeks of growing to do."

"You've survived a bomb, a near-drowning, and meeting my entire family. If anyone can conquer natural childbirth, it's Meredith Grey," Derek said with sincerity.

"You think so?"

"I know so. Right, Lilly? Tell Mommy she can do it," Derek said as he washed Lilly's back.

Lilly pointed at Meredith, her finger covered in suds. "Mama do!"

"Thank you, peanut," Meredith smiled, skimming the fireman duck along the water's surface. "Are you going to be Zeezee's helper?"

"Tiss Bean," Lilly answered, kissing one of her rubber ducks to show them.

"You're such a good big sister," Meredith said.

She watched as Lilly kicked her legs in the tub, the same way the baby was currently kicking in her belly. It was probably just the mommy hormones, but the thought of having two babies in just a few weeks, two babies who wouldn't remember life without each other, and would be built-in best friends, formed a lump in her throat, and she felt her eyes burn.

She blotted her eyes with the corner of Lilly's bath towel, and Derek frowned in worry when he noticed. "Hey, you okay?" he asked.

Meredith nodded. "I think it's just hitting me lately, you know? There's really two of them. I love them so much," she said as Lilly extended her arms, ready to end her bath time. She easily scooped her out of the water, quick to wrap her up in the warm towel. "You know that, Lilly? I love you and Jellybean so, so much. And I'm so happy you'll get to be there when our baby comes."

"Me, too. We need you, Lillybug," Derek said as he wrapped his arms around both of them. "Cheering Mama on and holding her hand."

Lilly reached for Meredith's hand and squeezed it, already showing her support. "My Mama."

"You're gonna dethrone me for best birthing coach, aren't you, Princess?" Derek chuckled.

"Oh, I think she's already winning," Meredith told him, patting his arm in consolation.

Lilly smiled at her Dad as the three of them left the bathroom. "I win."