102. Chapter 102

After Veritas

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Truly, I own no Castle. Rating: K Time: See Above

Author's note: Yes. Another one out of order.

Castle found Kate curled up on their bed. "You okay?" He asked.

"Just thinking."

"About?"

"Bracken. He's not done yet. He's got friends, and not just friends, but people who'll go down with him if he goes down. He's got access to…Millions of dollars? Tens of millions? Hundreds of millions?"

Castle nodded. "Sure, but Smith has surfaced. He's got lot of evidence on Bracken. Nothing that would convict Bracken of anything, but it'll point investigators in the right direction. And a lot of people are jumping ship. Agreeing to testify against Bracken in return for leniency. The more people who make deals, the more pressure there is on the others to make a deal while they still can. "

"I know."

Castle joined Kate on the bed. "Are you that worried?"

She shook her head. "Not really. That's just the starting point for my thoughts."

"A penny for your thoughts, then."

"A penny, Castle? Richard Castle, multimillionaire author and man about town, offers me a penny?" Kate teased.

Castle sighed, over dramatically. "What can I offer you, Kate? Diamonds, rubies, yachts, perhaps your own island in the Caribbean?"

"I want a kiss." She snuggled up to him and kissed him, softly and then with more passion. Finally, she broke the kiss. "Do you remember me telling you that I didn't believe that people could change?"

"Yes. Several times. But you're wrong. I've changed since I met you."

She shook her head. "I don't think so. Alexis proves that the concerned, compassionate and very caring Richard Castle was always there. Your books prove that the intelligent, complex and knowledgeable Richard Castle that helped me with so many cases was there all the time."

"And your point is?" he asked, becoming more curious.

"I've changed. I've changed a lot. You changed me."

He smiled at her. "I'd like to take all of the credit for that, but I'm afraid that…"

She put her hand to his lips. "Let me finish. I didn't like you at all when we first met. But I did respect your abilities. You solved the Tisdale murder, not me. But, in that first year we were working together, I saw a very different side to you. One that never made it onto Page Six. One that interested me. But I had this wall around me and I couldn't change that. So I tried to have more of a social life."

"The fireman and Demming." Castle said.

"But they weren't you."

Castle groaned. "I know what happened. I invited you to the Hamptons, you broke up with Demming so you could go and I showed up with Gina. Kate, you know how sorry I was about that. And still am. I am going to make it up to you, I promise."

"Make up what? I pushed you away as hard as I could. I got a boyfriend. What happened to me was my fault. But when you left with Gina, that's when I realized I was falling in love with you. That's when I really staretd to push you away with Josh."

"Maybe, but…"

"No maybes about it, Rick. You were with Gina and I was with Josh. I wanted something, someone. What I wanted was you, but it never quite worked out, did it?"

"Kate, I want…"

She cut him off. "It hurt you to see me with another man, didn't it? Because you were in love with me, weren't you?"

"You know I was."

"And then you finally told me you loved me."

"Yeah. The winner of the Worst Possible Timing Award goes to Richard Castle."

"I loved you and you loved me, and what did I do? I lied to you about it for a solid year. What kind of a cold blooded bitch lies to the man she loves about the most important thing in their lives? "

"Hey! You're talking about the woman I love. Watch your mouth."

She smiled and kissed him again. "And that lie came close to destroying what we had. My lie."

"You had a lot to deal with. I know, I was there, remember?"

"Other people have dealt with the death of a loved one without becoming…What I became. Officer Ann Hastings? Her dad was murdered, she became a cop, but she was still capable of love."

"And there are people who fell apart even worse than you. So what?"

"Even after we get together, I kept secrets from you. The job in DC. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have been surveilling Simmons and Marks. And I shouldn't have kept that from you. When you asked me to marry you, you said that I didn't let people in. That that was who I was. Who I still am."

"And I asked you to marry me and I still want to marry you. And I will marry you."

"But I see a pattern in our relationship over the past five years, Rick. Richard Castle only wants Kate Beckett to be safe and be happy. And he does whatever he can to see that she is. Everything from bringing her coffee every day, to standing aside so she can be in nowhere relationships with men she doesn't love, to standing with her in a gunfight, to helping her take down her mother's murderer. "

"Castle, in the last five years, our relationship has been all about me. I pushed you away for a year, because I was afraid of any kind of emotional commitment. Then I tried to convince myself that Josh was the one, when it was you. And I knew it. I lied to you for a year, because Kate Beckett had to keep everything inside her. She had to solve her problems all by herself. She couldn't ask the one man who would do anything to help her for help."

"I think you're wrong. I lied to you about Michael Smith, remember? The problems weren't all yours."

"You lied to protect me. To keep me safe. I lied to you because I was afraid. There's a difference."

"I'm not sure I see it that way. A lie is a lie."

"I see it differently. And I want to change. I want to be what you've been for the last five years. Someone whose only desire is to make Richard Castle happy."

"Fine. You've already done that. You make me happier than anyone I've ever met, Kate."

Kate took a deep breath. "I'm thinking of resigning from the NYPD."

"What?" Rick was shocked. "What will you do?"

"I want to spend a couple of years doing what I should have been doing since I started falling in love with you. I want to be your friend, your best friend, your girlfriend, your lover, your fiancé, and the best wife anyone ever had. I want to go to baseball games with you. I want to go see Forbidden Planet with you and sit in the back and make out with you. I want to go on book signing tours with you and tell everyone how much I love Richard Castle and how much I love being the inspiration for Nikki Heat."

"Kate, I know you. That wouldn't be enough for you."

She nodded. "I know. So after a while, I'd like to go back to college and finish my degree, then go on to law school. I want to be a lawyer like my mom was." She smiled at him. "And you know, I'd need a real good investigator to help me."

He laughed. "One who works cheap? Who's happy just to be around you?"

"I think I know someone, too."

"You know a guy?" He teased.

"I love a guy."

"This is a big change."

"No, Rick. This may be a big change. We're making this decision, together. And we're in no rush. I'm not making any more decisions without you."

Her phone rang and she answered it. "Espo! I have the day off." She paused. "A multiple homicide? Okay, 23rd and Lex. We'll be there."

She hopped off the bed and headed for the door. Then turned around and smiled. "Coming, Castle?"

"Always."