337. Chapter 337

After Poof, You're Dead

Episode 3. 12

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Bro, I don't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Author's note: This is the fifth After Poof, You're Dead that I've written. If this story stops in the middle of a sentence, you'll know that I finally ran out of imagination.

"What are you going to do, Kiddo?"

Castle looked up with an amused, and curious, look on his face. "Do? About what?"

"You've broken up with Gina. Not that that's any surprise. So what are you going to do now?"

Castle made a show of thinking deeply, which didn't fool his mother for a second. "Do now?" He stroked his jaw, then smiled. "I'll try for the Nobel Prize for Literature, see if the Yankees need a new shortstop and I'll roller skate up Mount Everest. That should keep me busy."

Martha did not return his smile. "Very funny, Richard. You've broken up with Gina, which is what I expected would happen. In addition, in the past two years or so, you've had a fling with that awful actress who only wanted you to recommend her for the part of Nikki Heat, and one other date. Or should I say a half a date with bachelorette number…whatever. However, you have been following a beautiful, intelligent, tough and determined detective around almost daily. So, I ask you again. What are you going to do now?"

"Maybe I shouldn't try to roller skate up Mount Everest?" Castle tried to move to his office, but Martha moved to block his path.

"Kate Beckett." Martha said sharply. "What are you going to do about her?"

Castle sighed. "Nothing."

"That doesn't sound like much of a plan. Not that your plans are ever much better than that."

"Thank you for your confidence in me, Mother. But there's not much I can do. She has a boyfriend. A pretty serious one, from what I can tell. She's made it very clear to me that I'm not in the running for the Kate Beckett Boyfriend position."

"She told you this, straight out?" Martha asked, skeptically.

"I saw her with Demming. She was closer to him in a few days than she's been to me in two years. I haven't really seen the new boyfriend, but she seems very happy with him. More than she is with me around."

"That's it?"

"It's subtext, mother. The message is implied, not openly stated."

Martha shook her head. "Richard, you obviously have feelings for Katherine. I have never seen you go so long without a woman, or more likely, many women around you. There's only one reason you'd do that, and the reason's name is Kate Beckett. Have you thought that subtext is not a good idea? Perhaps you could just tell her you want more than a partnership?"

"And how would I do that? She has a boyfriend. Are you suggesting that I walk in and say, "Hey, Beckett! Drop your boyfriend and date me. Is that okay with you?" She'd kick me to the curb so fast I wouldn't know what hit me. Maybe if I'd said something a long time ago, it might have worked, but not now."

"You're a writer. You have a splendid imagination, or so you keep telling everyone. Can't you think of anything?"

"You could call her using a phony accent and tell her she's won a date with Richard Castle." That brought only a glare from Martha. "I have used my splendid imagination and I've come up with nothing. So, I'll do nothing. Who knows? Maybe something will happen."

"Yeah. You'll get old."

Later in the afternoon, Alexis sat down next to her father. "So, you and Gina are over?"

"So they say."

"What are you going to do now?"

"Am I required to do something? Is there some breakup ritual that has escaped my notice? Should I sacrifice a chicken at the full moon and read its entrails?"

"Eww! Gross!" Alexis made a face.

"We could sacrifice some ice cream?" Castle said hopefully.

Alexis shook her head. "You need a girlfriend. You don't like to be lonely. I know that. You used to go out all the time. You need a date. You need to be with a woman."

"I'm with Beckett all the time. Problem solved."

"You need to be with someone other than Detective Beckett." Alexis said sharply.

"Whoa! I thought you liked Beckett. What happened?"

"I do like Beckett, as a person. But since you've been with her, you've been shot at by some Nigerian warlord, rushed into her burning apartment, been in a gun battle with a serial killer, you were tied up by 3XK, and…And just too many things have happened to you. You and Grams are all I have. I can't lose you, Dad. And if you keep hanging around with a woman who doesn't care for you, something will happen. Something bad."

Rick pulled Alexis into a hug. "Nothing's going to happen to me, Pumpkin. As for Beckett…It's complicated."

Alexis hugged her father back. "Think about dating another woman, please. And think about moving on and away from Beckett."

"I can't promise anything, Alexis."

Alexis kissed her dad's cheek and left,

I love Beckett. And it's more than I felt for Kyra, or Meredith, or Gina or anyone else. Even Alexis and mother come in behind Kate. But she doesn't feel the same way. But can she change? She doesn't believe in people changing. I can't leave her, no matter what happens. All I can do is hang around her and gradually get more and more miserable when she's with other men. So that's exactly what I'll do.

Kate was tired when she got home and wanted only to lay down and relax. But, someone was knocking at her door. She got a shock when she opened the door.

"Ms. Beckett? You may not remember me, but I'm…"

"Gina. Castle's ex-wife." Kate finished for her. "Won't you come in? Would you like some wine or something?"

Gina shook her head. "No. I won't be long. Did you hear that Rick and I have broken up again?"

Kate thought about lying, but decided not to. "I accidentally overheard Castle on the phone with you. I know."

"In spite of the breakup, I do have a business relationship with Rick that is very important to me. And I still like Rick, even if we're not together."

"I'm glad to hear that." Kate had no idea where this conversation was going.

"I understand that you're seeing someone? That you're quite close to?"

Kate nodded. She did not want to discuss her relationship with Josh with Gina or anyone else.

"Then you should know that Rick is in love with you."

Kate almost fell over when she heard that. "No. That's not possible. He's my partner, he's a friend, I'm sure he'd like to be my lover, if I'd let him, but Richard Castle does not love me. Not as I understand the term love."

Gina shook her head. "He's been with you for two years. He's hardly dated at all since he met you. Just a few meaningless flings. And I include our brief relationship this summer in that category."

"Castle is doing research for the Nikki Heat books." Kate said calmly. More calmly than she felt.

Gina shook her head again. "I was married to him. I handled the paperwork for tax purposes when he did research for the Derrick Storm books. Research takes him a few days, maybe a week or so. Once, an entire month. I'm his publisher. I know how long it takes to research a story. It doesn't take two years."

"He enjoys solving cases with me. He finds something that excites him in bringing a murderer to justice."

"He's followed cops before. And CIA agents. He followed a LAPD SWAT sniper for a while once. He followed a Native American tracker working for the Border Patrol, but he never wanted to help them solve crimes. He does find something that excites him, though. It's you. I know this not because I'm his publisher, or because I know about research. I know he loves you because I was married to Rick and I spent the last summer with him. I know the signs."

Kate could hardly speak. Finally she managed to do so. "I think you're wrong."

Gina shrugged. "Perhaps I'm wrong. But, if he's not in love with you, and you're not in love with him, I think you should tell him so. Give him a chance to leave you with some dignity and before something happens to him. He really shouldn't be going out with you to arrest dangerous felons."

Gina smiled at Kate. "It's been nice talking to you. And please think about letting him down easily before something happens. I'm still kind of fond of him." Gina turned and left.

Castle is not in love with me. At least not in the sense that my parents loved each other. Not in the sense that I want to be loved. I know Castle. He just is not that kind of person. If I let myself love him, he'll just break my heart. He's done that once already when he left with Gina. Kate stopped and something horrible crossed her mind. If he can break my heart, does that mean I do love him?

Kate sat down on her couch. We're not in love. I know that. But I can't ask him to leave. He's my partner. He's…important to me. It would break my heart if he left me again. And if leaving would break my heart….What am I going to do?