338. Chapter 338

AU After Knockdown

Episode 3.13

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Put my head in a bucket of ice water if I say I own Castle. Rating: M Time: See above.

Castle noted that Kate had been very quiet the whole morning after the takedown of Hal Lockwood. She was very busy, of course. Both Ryan and Esposito had come in for work, only to be sent home very firmly by Captain Montgomery. And seeing a guy who's about to talk to you about your mom's murder get shot and then getting into a gun battle with a bunch of killers would be enough to ruin anyone's day. Castle thought. Even though I truly hate paperwork, I'll sit with her for the whole day if I have to. Like I said, I'm her partner. And plucky sidekick, of course.

Seeing that Castle was getting bored, Kate asked him to go over some reports on the murder of Bob Arman. That lasted until about noon.

"Castle, I have to go." Kate got up and grabbed her coat. Castle stood and grabbed his as well. "Castle, I have to do something personal. I'd like you to wait here, okay? Be here when I get back?"

He nodded. "Sure." He was afraid that whatever she was going to do wasn't personal, but he didn't want to call her on it. She left and he sat back down to read some more boring police files.

Kate came back in a little more than an hour. "Get whatever it was done?" He asked, trying to sound as disinterested as he could.

"I did." She replied. Castle decided she didn't want to talk about it. He went back to reading reports. He found absolutely nothing of interest.

The day dragged on until it was almost five o'clock. "Beckett, I should probably go home, okay?"

She looked up suddenly. "What? Um, no. Could you stay a few minutes longer? We need to talk and I don't want to talk in the bullpen."

He shrugged. "Fine with me."

Kate was done in about five more minutes. She got up without a word, grabbed her coat and headed for the elevator. Castle followed her to her car and got in. "Where are we going?"

"My apartment." She said. Castle waited to see if she'd say more, but she didn't.

Once at Kate's apartment, they sat down. Rick looked at Kate and Kate looked at Rick. Castle wondered if she was ever going to say anything.

"I broke up with Josh today. That's where I was at lunch. I went to his NGO and talked to him in Africa. That was a cold way to end things, but it had to be done. It's dangerous to be around me now. I can't expose Josh to that kind of danger."

Castle thought and then nodded. "I'm sorry. I thought you two had something." That was as much sorrow as he could work up for the breakup.

"I'm breaking up with you as well." She said sharply. "You can't follow me any more, Castle."

"Forget it. I'm your partner."

"Not any more." She took a deep breath and looked at the floor, gathering her thoughts. "My mother's murder has dominated my life. I'm afraid that it's badly warped my judgment where you're concerned. You have to leave."

He shook his head. "No way. I'm your partner, like it or not."

"Castle, you could have been killed when we went to see Raglan. That bullet went through him. If he'd picked a different booth, it could have gone through him and into you. I took you into a gunfight with a bunch of professional killers last night. You don't even have a gun. I must have been out of my mind to risk your life like that."

"I risked my life, Kate. Willingly. And I'm going to keep risking my life for you. End of discussion."

"Castle, mayor or no mayor, I can get you kicked to the curb."

"Which will keep me out of the 12th, but you can't stop me from following you everywhere you go, every day. I'm serious, Kate."

Kate knew he was serious. He is serious. But I still have some cards to play. She reached over and put her hand on his thigh and started stroking it, her hand moving further up with every stroke. "Just because you're not my partner, doesn't mean we can't be friends. And more." She leaned against him and nuzzled his neck.

Castle took her hand and moved it off of his thigh. "You're willing to sleep with me if I stop being your partner? No deal. If you got killed because I wasn't there, I'd never forgive myself. Hell, I'd never forgive myself at all if you got killed."

"And I'd never forgive myself if you got killed." She said softly.

"Standoff."

I have one more card to play. I hate having to do this, but one way or another, this has to be done and done now. "Castle, you know I hate it when you lie to me."

"What? When did I lie to you?"

"When we kissed, you said it was amazing. You weren't talking about how I took that goon down, were you? Tell the truth."

Castle didn't know what to do. Tell her the truth? She wants me gone anyway. Maybe I should just tell her. But if I do, things will be different from now on. Very different. Can we handle it? Can I handle it? "The kiss was amazing. The kiss was fantastic. Unbelievable. Spectacular. Incredible. Extraordinary. Remarkable. I was kissing you and it was the best kiss of my life. Is that what you wanted?"

She nodded. "For starters. Now, answer the question I asked the other day. Why are you here, Rick? Tell me the truth."

A kiss is one thing. He thought. But the truth? Can I tell her the truth? Now?

"I'm a detective, Castle. I already know the truth, but I need to hear it from you. Please?"

Castle took a deep breath and decided to throw caution to the winds. If she knows… "I'm here because I love you, Kate. More in love than I've ever been in my life. That's why I can't leave."

She relaxed and rested her head on his chest, running her hand over his chest. "I've been fighting against falling in love with you for some time now. After my mom was murdered, I built a wall around myself so I'd never be hurt like that again. And I've made solving my mom's murder my whole life. If I let myself fall in love with you, and I lost you, it would destroy me. And I know that if I let myself love you, I'd have to put you first in my life. I'd have to love you as you deserve to be loved. And I can't let my mom down like that. If you love me, please walk away. For the time being. Until I can love you."

Castle ran his hands through Kate's hair, then tipped her face up so he could look in her eyes. "If I walk away and you live through this…whatever this is, we've lost…years? Probably years together. And if you get killed, then it's my turn. I'm rich. I know people. Both Coonan and McCallister said whoever is behind this is untouchable. I know people who can touch anyone."

Kate was shocked. "Rick, I refuse to let you do anything illegal."

"And if you're dead, how are you going to stop me? Besides, from the sound of it, you're already in love with me, Kate. Just accept it." He stroked her hair. "I love you, Kate." He whispered in her ear.

They sat there for long minutes. Kate got up and took his hand, leading him to her bedroom.

"Kate, I said I won't sleep with you in return for giving up on your mom's case and leaving you."

She turned and kissed him softly. "If we're going to go risk our lives together tomorrow, I want to make tonight special. Come on."

"Can I undress you?" He asked when they were in her bedroom. She smiled. He pulled her top over her head, then unhooked her bra and let it fall. He lightly stroked her breasts, stroking her nipples to tautness. He put her down on the bed in a sitting position and took off her shoes and stockings. He undid her belt and her pants' zipper, lifted her up a bit and slid her pants off, then pulled her panties down her long, beautiful legs. She lay back, and spread her legs, smiling up at him.

He undressed as fast as he could and lay down beside her. "I want to examine every part of you." He kissed her forehead, then worked his way down to her lips, trailing kissed as he went. He ran his tongue over her lips, but pulled away when she opened her mouth for him. "I want to see every part of you."

He cupped one boob and then the other. "Beautiful. Just beautiful." He teased her nipples again so that they stood up straight up on her boobs. He kissed each nipple, gently running his tongue around each one. He rested his head on her shoulder and ran his hand down her flat stomach, running a finger around her belly button, then down to the patch of pubic hair above her slit. Then he ran his finger along the slit, pushing his finger inside her for just a moment. She moaned softly. Then he moved his head down to rest on her boobs and slid his hand over her smooth, muscular thighs. "You have gorgeous legs." He whispered.

She rolled over so she was face down. "My best features are my legs and my ass. Do you like it?"

He kneaded the firm globes of her ass. "Perfect, but not your best feature. Your best feature is your mind."

She giggled, something he had never heard before. "You love me for my mind?"

"I love you for your everything."

She giggled again, then ran her hand down his chest and grasped his erection. "Now. Please. I can't wait."

He rolled on top of her and positioned himself at her wet opening. Then he slowly entered her. He pushed into her to the limit and remained there.

"You're big." She whispered.

"Too much?" He began to pull back.

She put her arms around him and then wrapped her long legs around his waist. "What did I tell you? Now! Please."

He moved slowly in and out of her, then gradually increased his pace.

She could feel the heat and wetness building between her legs and knew an orgasm wasn't far off. "God! I've waited so long for this. I need this so badly." She began moaning in his ear. "Rick! Rick! More, lover. I'm so close. So close. So….There! God! Castle! So good! So good, lover."

He slowed own and she realized he hadn't come yet. She began kissing him, thrusting her boobs into his chest, scraping her nipples against him. She lifted her ass off of the bed to get him as far into her as possible. She felt more wetness inside her and knew he had come. She relaxed a bit, holding him.

"That was amazing." They said together and laughed.

She lifted herself up and checked her alarm clock. "We need to get some sleep. We have a conspiracy to unravel tomorrow." She said.

"Can I stay the night?" He asked.

"Don't you dare try to leave."

They held each other in their arms.

"Rick, thank you. For putting up with me for all this time. I know it hasn't been easy for you."

"You're so worth the wait." He whispered in her ear.

"I'll try to make sure it always is."

"Always? I like always."

"Me too."