504. Chapter 504

After Dial M for Mayor

Episode 4.12

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Just call me up and I'll tell you I don't own Castle. Rating: K+ Time: See above.

"You can't be serious."

Captain Victoria Gates was perhaps the most serious person in the whole of the NYPD. She glared at Beckett. "Of course I'm serious." She said, taking off her glasses. "Why would you think I wasn't?"

"I was just surprised, sir." Kate mumbled.

Gates nodded. "I suppose it is an unusual undercover assignment." She glanced over at Mr. Castle who obviously could hardly contain his glee. "And, of course, your partner will be going undercover with you."

Gates had no trouble containing the glee she felt when she saw Castle's jaw drop.

"But, sir. I have no qualifications. I'm a man."

"Duly noted, Mr. Castle." She said coldly. "However, Phone Phantasies is a full service phone sex operation. They cater to all sorts. Heterosexual males who would want to talk to Detective Beckett, heterosexual females who would like to talk to you. And gay men who would want to talk to you, plus transvestites, bisexuals and others." She gave Castle a superior smile. "You do wish to solve Mr. Bordelon's murder, don't you?"

"Of course." Castle said through gritted teeth.

George Bordelon had been a voice actor who worked sporadically for video game producers providing voice characterizations for everything from teenaged zombies to aged extraterrestrials. However, to pay his bills, he worked at Phone Phantasies, where he could appear over the phone to be anything from a Southern teenager, of either sex, to a distinguished member of the British aristocracy. However, he'd reported getting phone calls at home from an obsessed caller whom he'd talked to at work. Phone Phantasies had looked into it, but before they got too far, Bordelon was found dead in his apartment. The phone used to contact Bordelon, both at work and at home, was an untraceable burner phone. But, someone in Phone Phantasies was probably the one who had given out Bordelon's personal phone number. He had been very careful to keep his two jobs separate. Hence, the undercover work.

Kate was much happier now that she would be going under cover with Castle. Happy for a number of reasons. For one, Castle would never dare say anything about her working as a phone sex operator if he did so too.

"So, you're going to be a phone sex operator?" Espo asked, with a wide, salacious grin.

"And if anyone calls me that sounds even remotely like a cop, there are certain things that I can tell everyone about you, Espo."When Ryan grinned, she turned to him. "And do you remember Sergeant Carlson's retirement party, Ryan? The champagne bottle?" Ryan's grin faded at once.

"What's this about Ryan and a champagne bottle?" Castle asked.

"Oh, nothing you could use in any of your phone sex calls, Kitten."

Castle reddened. "I told you never to call…"

Espo broke in. "Castle is going undercover with you? As a phone sex operator? Oh, that is so much better than the champagne bottle story. I hear that there are some really buff dudes that are into all sorts of sado-masochistic things, Castle."

"And how do you know about that?" Castle asked sharply. "Personal experience?"

"Friends in Vice."Espo shot back.

"We have to get to our new job." Kate said as she headed for the elevator. She turned and looked over her shoulder. "Coming, Kitten?"

"I told you not to call me that."

Most of the first day on the job was hell for Kate, and surprisingly fun for Rick. Kate resented that every man who called, and the few women, as well, thought she must be some sex-crazed slut. She had to bite her tongue several times to keep from screaming at the men. Finally, it became too much.

The caller droned on with his fantasy. "First, I'll tie you spread eagled to your own bed. I can just see your bed. Heart shaped, with red silk sheets and pillows. Then I'll gag you, but leave the blindfold off so you can watch what I do. Using a razor sharp knife, I'll start by cutting your shoes off. Then I'll slowly cut up the side of your skirt, then the other. Then I'll cut your belt. Quickly, I'll pull the two pieces of the skirt off. You'll be wearing silk stockings, with a garter belt, under the skirt with a blood red thong. Those will stay on while I carefully cut off the buttons of your blouse, then open it up to show your…"

"That's not going to happen. What'll happen, "Kate snarled, "is that I'll take your knife away from you and tie you up. I won't cut your clothes off, because I have no interest in your body. What I will do is start by slapping your face. I'll slap you very lightly at first, but with each slap, the slaps will get harder and harder." Kate spent the next ten minutes telling her caller in great detail what she'd do to him. At the end of the time, the man was crying. Kate was sure she'd get into trouble.

"You're so right." The man sobbed. "That's exactly what I deserve. I've had such bad thoughts. Thank you Mistress Kate. I'll tell all my friends about you. You're the only one who really understands me."

She got more than a dozen calls that night from men who would only talk to Mistress Kate.

On the other hand, Rick was the smooth sophisticated type on the phone.

"We'll go to Le Cirque, of course." He began with one young lady. Rick easily imagined he was talking to Kate. "I'll wear my Armani tuxedo and you'll have on one of Dior's little black dresses. When you sit, you'll allow your skirt to ride up just about halfway up your thighs before you pull it back down. You'll smile at me to let me know that you intended to let me see your beautiful, long legs."

Rick pulled out his personal phone and began to describe the food they'd eat by looking up the menu. "We'd start out with the chilled melon gazpacho, of course. For the main course, we'd have the poitrine de Poulet Roti, the chicken breast. Don't you just love the mixed vegetables there?"

Castle went on to describe the entire meal in great detail. Not forgetting to mention that he'd be sliding his hand under the table and pushing the young lady's skirt higher and higher.

When they got back to the loft, Kate kissed him soundly. "If you ever do anything like that when you're not on duty, you'll be in big trouble."

Castle did his best to look shocked. "All we did was talk about food. What about you?"

Kate blushed. "You first."

Kate laughed and laughed at how Rick had excited the women who'd called him. Then she had to tell him about her day.

"Mistress Kate? I knew it. You're a perfect dominatrix. I should buy you some knee high black patent leather boots, fishnet stockings and a patent leather bustier. My safe word is still apples, you know."

"Speaking of apples, I'm hungry. How about putting that famous imagination to work in the kitchen."

"Only if I get to use that imagination in the bedroom."

"Deal."

They walked into the bullpen to see that the Bordelon murder board was clean.

"What happened?" Beckett asked.

"The killer walked in and confessed." Espo replied.

"Who gave him Bordelon's phone number and address?" Castle asked.

"The secretary there. The killer met her at a bar, she was drunk and told him where she worked. He grabbed her phone. She had Bordelon listed under his own name and his work name. The chick never knew he got Bordelon's info from her."

"When did he confess?" Beckett asked, suspiciously.

"About fifteen minutes after you left." Ryan said.

"Why didn't you call us?" Beckett asked.

"And have you miss out on all that fun?" Ryan said.

"Why don't I call you tonight, Castle?" Kate asked in a very sexy tone.

"I'd love that."

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