587. Chapter 587

After Hollander's Woods

Episode 7.23

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: if you go into the woods alone, you'll find I don't own Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

"Hi, Rick. Long time, no see."

Rick Castle smiled and stared at the wall some ten feet ahead of him. "Phil. Phil Bartlett. Good to see you again. How long has it been?"

"Too long, buddy. Too long." To Castle, it appeared that Phil's face became more serious. "But we need to talk."

"Sure. About what?"

A voice in the operator's ear spoke. "Remember. Don't go directly at what we want. He fell apart when we tried that last time. Whatever it was it must have been very traumatic, so we need to go about this indirectly. Understand?"

The operator just nodded. He had done this before, after all.

Castle saw Phil smile. "I'm really curious, Rick. What was the first thing you ever wrote?"

Castle smiled back. "In a Hail of Bullets. Everyone knows that."

Phil kept smiling even though the operator frowned. "No. I know that was the first thing you ever published. What was the first real story you ever wrote?"

"I wrote something for my friend, Damian Westlake back in school. You remember Damian, don't you?" Oddly Castle felt that there was something about Damian that he should remember, but he couldn't think what it was.

"Before Faircroft, Rick. You wrote before that, didn't you?"

Rick looked away from Phil. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Was the story that bad?" Phil said, jokingly. "Or was it pornographic? Oh! You didn't write about Carolyn Shuster, did you? I always suspected that's what and who you were writing about."

Rick shook his head violently. "No! No! It wasn't about her. It was before I ever met Carolyn. It was when…." Rick began crying.

"Hey, hey, pal. No need to cry. I know! Let's both have a beer."

Rick saw Phil open a beer and hand him the bottle. He took a long, satisfying drink.

"Feeling better. Rick?"

"Lots."

"Whatever you wrote about must have been pretty bad. I can understand not wanting to talk about it."

"That's not it. I've…I've tried for years to convince myself it never happened, out there in Hollander's Woods, but it did. I know it did." Castle shook his head slowly. "I can still see it."

The operator smiled. He was almost there. "I know it happened, Rick. And I can see why you'd want to put Hollander's Woods behind you."

"You know about Hollander's Woods?" Rick was surprised.

"Sure. You told me all about it. We're pals, remember? I know all about Hollander's Woods. But maybe if you went over the details, it'd help you. Talking about things like that can really help."

"She was dead. I'd never seen a dead person before. And the cuts...the cuts."

"They were bloody, weren't they?" Phil seemed to ask Castle.

"He'd cut crosses in her forehead and cheeks."

"I know. I know. It must have been scary for you. You were, what? About…."

"I was eleven."

"Right, eleven. You should have been scared. Really scared."

Castle nodded. "I saw him. All in black with that mask. That creepy mask. And the knife. He had me and he had that knife to my throat. I can see it. I can feel it." Castle began sobbing and tried to curl himself into a ball.

"That's it. We don't really need anymore." The voice in the operator's ear said.

"It's okay now, Rick." Phil Bartlett seemed to say and then faded away. Someone put a needle into Castle's arm and he passed out.

Much later.

"Thank you." Castle said, kissing his wife.

"For what?"

"For being you. For being there for me. For helping me change to what I am now."

"What you are now was always there. You just needed to scrape a little sex crazed playboy image off of the real you, and there you were."

He kissed her again. "Thanks anyway."

She reached up and pulled him down into bed with her. "Can we talk?"

"Of course."

"I need to know what you think about me running for the state senate."

"I told you. Whatever you decide, I support you one hundred percent. Did you want me to support you a thousand percent? I can do that, too."

She gave him a very minor glare. "I want to know what you think about it. My track record of making decisions about my future could be better. I should have talked to you about DC and I didn't. I want your honest opinion now."

Castle took a deep breath. He hoped he was doing the right thing. "Do you remember the Robert Redford movie, The Candidate?"

Kate frowned. "Vaguely."

"It's about a liberal activist, Redford, who runs for the Senate because the incumbent Republican Senator is so popular that he's unbeatable. He knows he won't win, but he can get his message across to people. He can say anything he wants. Bring up any issue he wants and it doesn't make any difference who he offends, because he's going to lose."

"Are you saying I can't win?" Kate asked.

"Not at all. The Redford character says he hates politics because you have to say things you don't mean and not say things you care about. But since everyone "knows" he can't win, he can say anything he wants. But the political process gets to him. He starts changing his message slightly, he makes deals that he doesn't want to make, but is told he has to in order to get his message out. And bit by bit he makes compromises. Not one big compromise, just one little one after another. In the end be wins, but only because he's morphed into a generic, issue free, risk averse politician. Not at all the guy he started out as."

"That's how you see me?"

Rick shook his head. "You could end up like that. You start making tiny, minute changes in your opinions, and before you know it, you're not who you started out as. You compromise because if you don't, you get nothing."

Kate kissed him. "Exactly what I thought, Mr. Castle. I'd suck at politics. Look what I did in DC."

"You were great in DC."

"Sure. I alienated the Secretary of Defense and the CIA. But, the next question is what about Captain Beckett?"

"I love her."

Kate laughed. "If they offer me a precinct things will change. And they could want me to do desk work at One PP or a lot of things."

"Kate, you're a cop. A great cop. You should stay a cop. But, if they want to chain you to a desk, maybe you should turn it down. You should wait until you see what they offer you."

"Agreed. Now, do you want to make out?"