650. Chapter 650

After The Dead Pool

Episode 3.21

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I took no PEDs to write this story. Rating: K Time: See above.

"Thank you."

"Always."

Kate sat back down at her desk and started the paperwork on the Zach Lindsay murder. Castle sat in his usual chair and played with one of the apps on his phone.

Kate snuck a look at him, and quickly looked away before he noticed her staring. What I did wasn't fair to either Alex or to Castle. I deliberately flirted with Alex to see if I could make Castle jealous. I knew he was jealous of Tom, but when he left with Gina I assumed that he was just being possessive of his muse. He hardly ever refers to Josh by his name, but calls him Doctor Motorcycle Boy. I don't know whether he's just jealous because of some testosterone fueled male thing, or whether Castle really cares for me.

She snuck another look at Castle, who was seemingly entranced with his phone. Dammit! Why can't he talk to me? Okay, I was nasty to him at first, but we're friends now. Aren't we? He could act like he's interested in me. Lanie has told me repeatedly that Castle likes me and likes me a lot. Jordan Shaw, who profiles people for a living, thought we were sleeping together. Kyra, his ex, told me he was all mine. How could she have thought that? Even I wasn't sure how I felt about Castle. Kate suppressed a laugh. Now I'm complaining about Castle not opening up to me? Perhaps I'll have to be the one who opens up to him? I'm sure that if he does have feelings for me, he hasn't mentioned it because I've been too busy pushing him away.

I have been jealous of the women in Castle's life. He broke my heart when he left with Gina to go to the Hamptons. I was miserable that whole summer. Sure, I tried to tell myself that I was just missing my crime solving partner, but I missed having Rick Castle around. He was more than my partner by then. And I was so damned angry when he only showed up at the precinct when I arrested him for murder. I thought that he didn't care enough about me to even drop by. But then he wanted to be my partner again. And from that day to this, I've had no idea where I am with Castle. Oh, he did break up with Gina and I haven't seen him on Page Six or any other gossip sites. I'm actually a little embarrassed that I check up on him like that. I'm the only woman he's been with for months. But just as his partner, not anything else. Does he want more?

Suddenly, Castle interrupted her thoughts. "Beckett, I should be going. It's late and all that's left is paperwork. Tomorrow?"

Kate took a deep breath and decided she had to do something. "Can you wait just a few minutes? I'm wide awake and I'd like to go get a drink. I'm buying, okay."

Castle thought for a second. "Okay, but I'll buy."

Castle and Beckett walked to a quiet bar not too far away that was not frequented by cops. Kate explained the choice by saying that she didn't want to run in to Ryan, Esposito and Alex at some cop bar while the two detectives were telling stories about their experiences.

They sat in a booth with their drinks and Kate moved over next to Castle. She wasn't pressed up against him, but she was closer than they usually were. Castle noticed, but wasn't sure if it meant anything or not.

Kate decided she needed to say something. I know now that Josh will always put his job, his desire to help others, ahead of me. And that's fine for him, but it's not what I'm looking for. If I break up with Josh, do I try something with Castle? If it turns out he's not interested in any more than we have now, that'll ruin what we have and break my heart again. But if there's nothing there, I should find out. That way I can try to heal my broken heart. Although I don't know if I can. I'll just say….What?

"Castle, I have a confession to make." She blurted out.

Castle began to get worried. Is this the big kiss off? Are she and DMB engaged? How would I know? She hardly ever talks about her private life. He smiled as best he could. "You do?"

"I deliberately tried to make you jealous with Alex."

He frowned. "You did? Why?" That's the last thing I expected her to ever say. What is this?

"You acted jealous when I was with Tom, but you might have been upset that he might have been taking your place on my team."

Castle just nodded.

"You refer to Josh as Doctor Motorcycle Boy, almost never by his name. I've thought you might be jealous of him, but I wasn't sure, or if you were jealous, why you were jealous."

Castle managed to make a noncommittal noise.

Beckett kept talking. "But now you've told me that you were jealous of Alex." Kate smiled and arched her back, pushing her boobs out. Castle quickly looked away. Kate laughed. "You can look, Castle. I told you that I'm a one writer girl." She lowered her voice. "And I'm not a one doctor girl anymore, either. I'll have to tell Josh if he ever comes back from Africa."

Castle nodded slowly. "I guess that makes me a one girl writer."

"Good." She reached over and took his hand. "Did you think I was fooling around with Alex?" She teased.

He shook his head. "Never. You'd never cheat on Josh like that."

She giggled. "You didn't think that I'd never cheat on you like that?"

"We aren't…." Castle stopped. He wasn't sure what they were or weren't.

Kate nodded solemnly. "I'm not sure where we are or aren't. I know you're my partner and the best partner I could ever want. And, really, you're my best friend."

That caused Castle to smile. "Thanks. You're my best friend, too."

She looked briefly away, then looked Castle in the eye. "I've been a mess since my mom's murder. I had practically no social life for years, because I forced myself to be one hundred percent cop all the time. I still can't be more than that, Castle, but I'm trying. I'm trying so very hard. Can you wait? Wait for me to change? Please."

There was only one possible answer to that. "Always."