673. Chapter 673

After The Limey

Episode 4.20

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, mate. Rating: K Time: See above.

Author's note: This is a sequel to chapters 408 and 545. And it will be extremely difficult for you to find the very subtle changes I've made from the canon episode.

Jameson Rook, a reporter for the Royal New York Gazette and Advertiser, strode confidently into Mistress Nikki Heat's Golden Arches tavern, located on King George Street in British occupied New York. As soon as he saw a group of red coated soldiers sitting and eating their Big McNikkis, and drinking the sweet, fizzy drink that was all the rage now, he slowed down and set his face in a scowl.

"Good day to you, Mistress Heat." He doffed his hat and made a leg for her.

Nikki Heat barely acknowledged him. "Mr. Rook."

"I was hoping to try your newest sandwich, the Bacon McNikki. Several people have praised it. I thought I might write an article about this new taste treat for my paper."

Nikki looked down her nose at Rook, a difficult feat as he was taller than she. However, Nikki was very flexible. "I care not to have my fine cooking written about in your pro-British scandal rag. I am an American patriot, sir, not a lackey of the English such as you."

"Perhaps I should have a look at your kitchen, then. The Royal Health Department might be interested."

"I doubt that, sir. But please do satisfy your curiosity." Nikki led the way the kitchen, with Rook right behind, marveling at her perfect derriere and wanting to satisfy more than just his curiosity.

Once safely in the kitchen and hidden behind a large brick oven, Nikki threw her arms around Rook and kissed him passionately. "I worry so about you, Jameson." She whispered. "If the British ever find out that you're a spy for General Washington…"Nikki left the rest unsaid. She couldn't stand to even think about what would happen if the love of her life were found out. "Did you have any trouble getting back into the city from the General's camp in New Jersey?"

"In New Jersey I almost ran into a patrol of the King's Orange Rangers but they were busy talking about taking the cannoli and leaving a gun or some such and I avoided them. Then as I was riding through Long Island, near West Hampton, I was overtaken by a large, black carriage. I thought it might be trouble, but it was nothing." He gently kissed the top of Nikki's head. "But now I'm back and I'll be here for a good, long time."

"I fear not, Jameson. The Marquis de Pi, a brave French officer who has come to offer his services to General Washington got lost on the West Side Pathway and is in the city. I have him hidden here, but he must leave and get to General Washington's headquarters. Mayor Sir Victoria Gates plans to dine here tonight with her cronies. The Royal Provost Marshall, Thomas Demming, will be here as well as Doctor Joshua Davidson, who many say is now Sir Victoria's fancy boy, and the Colonel of the new Hessian regiment, Eric von Vaughn. Demming, as Provost Marshall, will have the whole tavern searched."

"Don't worry, love, I'll find a way to get the Marquis out of New York. I know many chaps, you know."

Just then, they were interrupted by Rook's daughter, Alexis, and a slender, Frenchified young fellow, who came out of a storeroom. Rook couldn't help but notice that Alexis' clothing was disarranged. "What has happened to your clothing, dear daughter of mine?"

Alexis smiled at her father, who she thought was an awfully sweet fellow, who failed to understand that she was a woman and not a child anymore. Why, at sixteen and unmarried, she was practically an old maid. "La, Father, it is most cramped in the storage room and my clothing was disarranged as I left, for I have news for you that must get to General Washington."

"What?" Nikki and Rook asked in unison.

"Pi, that is the Marquis de Pi, has advised me that the British here in New York are running short of supplies. They plan to send out a raiding party of Colonel von Vaughn's Hessian mercenaries and some misguided Americans who support King George, and steal cattle."

"Castle?" Said Rook, puzzled. "I had thought to write a series of novels about a fellow named Castle and a lovely woman who solved puzzles, but…."

"No, Father, cattle. C-A-T-T-L-E." Alexis said clearly. "You must advise General Washington to be on his guard."

Rook left at once and searched high and low to find a sailor or waggoneer who could smuggle the Marquis and his vital information out of the city.

"Sorry, Mr. Rook." said Sean Raley, a brave Irishman, who loathed the English. "Normally I could take you out on my party boat, the Jenny, and sneak you to the Jersey shore. You won't believe what goes on there. But the authorities have forbidden any boat from leaving Manhattan. Something's up."

Rook next tried Senor Miguel Ochoa, who had left his job at Nikki's tavern to pursue a career in the horse transportation industry. As he shoveled manure, he explained that the British had forbid any travel off of Manhattan Island. "They have patrols everywhere." Ochoa looked around to make sure he wasn't being overheard. "There's a Free French garrison at Brazzaville, but you'd never make it."

"How do you know this?" Rook asked.

"Free French? There's this chick named Simone, who's really hot."

Rook nodded. "I'm sure this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, Miguel."

And so Rook went back to Nikki's to confess that he couldn't find a way off of Manhattan for the Marquis.

"But, Rook. Demming and his goons will be here in less than an hour. What can we do?"

Luckily, Alexis had a plan. "Luckily, Pi, that is, the Marquis de Pi, is slender and somewhat effeminate. I can loan him some of my clothing and he can pass as one of our waitresses." Actually, Alexis knew that Pi wasn't that effeminate and he already knew his way around her clothing.

Alexis and Pi disappeared back into the storage room and only an hour later, reemerged, all dressed and made up. Rook had to admit that the Marquis de Pi made a fine woman. "But, Alexis, dearest, aren't those the clothes you wore going into the storage room that the Marquis de Pi now wears?"

Alexis shook her head in faux bewilderment. "Really, Father. You pay no attention to my wardrobe. Of course that's not the clothing I was wearing."

Before Rook could discuss the matter further, Demming and his ruffians came into Nikki's Golden Arches tavern and searched the place thoroughly. He did attempt to search Nikki, but luckily for him, Dr. Davidson arrived and was able to splint his finger.

"Have you thought of my proposal?" Dr. Davidson whispered after sending Demming away.

"To become your mistress?" Nikki snarled. "I would rather be dead."

"Or worse. You might end up with that ink stained wretch, Rook. What did Sorenson of the Royal Military Police call him? Ah, yes. The Writer Simian. An apt name. All of New York knows you sleep with him. At least he's loyal to our king, unlike most of your friends."

"My relationship with Rook is …Complicated." Nikki said.

Nikki didn't need to explain her relationship with Rook any further, for the good doctor had seen Pi, now known as Meredith, bending over to take their orders. He tried to make his move on the lovely wench, but found he was blocked by Colonel von Vaughn. The colonel asked Davidson if he had relatives back in Germany. "Ve haff vays of finding these things out, herr doctor."

The meal went well, although "Meredith's" bottom was badly bruised from being pinched by Colonel von Vaughn. However, it did start a long tradition of the French nobility bending over for the German military.

The next day, Colonel von Vaughn took the lovely Meredith out on a certain party boat and managed to lose her on the Jersey shore. "Vat a situation!" cried the colonel.

The raid was intercepted and the British defeated. While in New York, Rook worked on a book about a gorgeous tavern owner who doubled as an American spy. When he showed his first draft to Nikki, all she said was, "You're calling her Kate Beckett? That's not a spy's name."