824. Chapter 824

After Heroes and Villains

Episode 4.02

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Maybe the Beach Boys own Castle? Rating: K Time: See above.

He could tell that there was something wrong from her expression as she spoke on the phone. All he could hear of her side of the conversation was a series of monotone yesses and nos. She put the phone down and stared into space for a second, then at him. "Castle, the Big Eight have broken out of the Bedford Hills Correctional Institute."

"The women's prison?"

She nodded. "You're going to have to stay here, Castle. You can't come with me on this one."

Castle smiled. "Beckett, I'm your partner. I go where you go."

She shook her head. "Not this time. Castle, it's best if you stay here, please? It'll be dangerous."

"I laugh in the face of danger."

She shook her head. "No you don't. You shriek like a little girl in the face of danger."

He glared at her, as best as he could. "Okay, once maybe when I was just starting to follow you around. Twice tops and it's been since…."

"Last Tuesday, Castle. Last Tuesday. Please, stay here."

"No way. I'm going with…."As he tried to stand up, he found he was handcuffed to Beckett's desk.

She took his hands in hers. "I'm sorry, Castle. Just to be sure, I handcuffed you to my desk. I'm sorry, but it's best this way." She squeezed his hands and walked away.

"Beckett! Come back here!" He demanded, but she got into the elevator and the door closed without her ever turning around to face him.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Castle said as he reached for his wallet and the handcuff key he'd kept there since his first case with Beckett. However, all he found was a note with Kate's handwriting on it. Rick, I'm sorry. But I picked your pocket to take away your handcuff key. Your wallet is on Espo's desk, but I have the key. Kate. PS. Just to make sure, the cuffs have a combination lock.

Castle smiled to himself. "I didn't spend all of that time learning how to pick locks and figure out combinations for nothing, Beckett." When he looked at the combination lock, he saw a post-it. Rick, when I held your hand, I rubbed Novocain on your hands. Sorry. Kate.

Castle tried to work the tiny combination lock, but his hands were so numb, he could hardly turn the dial. He looked around at Beckett's desk. "There must be something that I can use." Then it hit him. "She chained me to the middle desk drawer. I'll just pull it out of the desk and go after her." He pulled the door open. The first thing he saw was another post-it. You shouldn't have opened this drawer, Rick. Then he felt a spray hit his face and his eyes began to close.

Meanwhile, at a deserted warehouse on the outskirts of town, (Not so much a cliché, I think. Call it an homage.), the Big Eight were putting the finishing touches on their nefarious plan. Their leader, "Busty" Rhodes laughed maniacally. "I'd like to see that skinny, flat chested detective stop us now!"

"Jelly" Monroe laughed as well, causing her boobs, clearly visible under her tight, wet tee shirt to wobble like two bowls full of jelly. "We're way ahead of her."

Gina "Cow 'uns" Cowan joined in the laughter. "And when we're sunbathing on that nude beach in Mexico, Beckett will probably be walking a beat in the South Bronx. If she's lucky."

The youngest member of the Gang of Eight, as they were also known, Jacinda Phakes, simpered. "I bet her hunky writer boyfriend will dump her, too."

The three others glared at her. "Richard Castle is not her boyfriend." Rhodes said in a strained voice.

"Sorry." Jacinda said, her voice quavering. She had heard through the prison grapevine that this Castle had a history with her fellow gang members. And not a good history.

However, Detective Kate Beckett was not who the Fearsome Foursome X 2 would be facing that night. As Beckett left the precinct, she searched for a phone booth. "Everyone has a cell phone these days." She complained. "No one needs phone booths any more except me." Never at a loss. Kate went back into the dark recesses of the precinct garage and quickly changed clothes. Leaving the precinct she was no longer Detective Kate Beckett, but the Golden Goddess, sworn to fight crime in all of its forms in all five boroughs of New York, and parts of New Jersey.

Using her super powers, the Golden Goddess sensed that a crime was taking place at the Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art. Leaping tall buildings, and short ones as well, she soon found herself at the museum. Quickly opening the doors, without setting off an alarm, the Golden Goddess soon found the first evidence of a crime in progress. Stripped naked and hog tied, she found a blonde insurance security specialist hanging upside down with a passable copy of Duchamp's Nude Descending a Staircase painted on her body.

"Amateur." The Golden Goddess said dismissively, leaving the woman hanging there. By the time the Golden Goddess returned, the woman had been stolen and now hangs in the library of a Russian oligarch residing in London.

Ahead of her, the Golden Goddess could hear laughter. Maniacal laughter.

Meanwhile, back at the precinct….

Castle woke up, feeling quite woozy. Shaking his head, he noticed a second note from Beckett on the inside of the desk drawer. Castle, whatever you do, do not open the bottom right hand drawer of my desk.

Smiling to himself, Castle reached down and opened the drawer. Something green with bright red fangs shot out of the drawer directly at his head. Castle screamed and threw himself back. Then he realized it was a spring loaded cloth snake, much like the one Beckett had worn to his first Halloween party she'd gone to. In its mouth was another note from Beckett. See? I told you that you screamed like a little girl. Just relax. I'll be back soon. Kate.

Castle wouldn't admit defeat and pulled out his phone. "Beckett doesn't realize just how many guys I do know. I'll be out of here in no time." But when he turned on the phone, he found he had no bars. "No bars? How is that possible?"

Kate's voice answered from his phone. "Castle, there's no point in trying to call anyone. You can't. See you soon."

Finally giving up, he sat back in his chair.

Meanwhile, back at the museum….

The Golden Goddess appeared suddenly as the Big Eight were moving Michelangelo's Pieta towards the loading dock. "Stop and surrender or face the consequences." The Golden Goddess commanded. However, the desperate criminals were not about to surrender to one lone woman, even one dressed in a skin tight golden outfit that accentuated her long, toned legs, her magnificent ass, and her gorgeous and well-proportioned boobs.

"Get her!" Screamed "Busty" Rhodes as all four charged the lone superhero.

Pivoting on her superb legs, the Golden Goddess drove her foot into the midriff of "Busty" Rhodes. BANG! Then, whirling, she punched "Jelly" in the stomach, folding her up like a cheap accordion. "BOOM! As Gina "Cow 'uns" came at her low, the Golden Goddess leapt in the air, and landed on her back, driving her to the floor and out of the fight. BIFF! Seeing her friends defeated, Jacinda Phakes ran for it, only to be struck down by the Golden Goddess' goddess-arang. SLAM!

The Golden Goddess tied up the miscreants and left as she heard the sound of sirens in the distance. Changing into her street clothes she managed to arrive just as Officer Ann Hastings brought the four criminals out in cuffs.

"Good work, Hastings." She said.

"It wasn't me. I found them all unconscious and tied up."

"You'll still get credit for the collar."

Once back at the precinct, she walked over to Castle and smiled at him. "Are you mad at me?"

He nodded. "Of course. I'm your partner, Beckett."

"I'm sorry. It was nothing. By the time I got there Ann Hastings had made the collar. Forgive me?"

"I don't know. I'm not happy about being handcuffed and knocked out."

"Suppose I buy you a burger at Remy's?"

Castle looked at her. "A double chili cheeseburger with garlic fries and a chocolate shake?"

"And you can have dessert, too."

"Okay, get me out of these things." He said, gesturing to his cuffed hands.

"Oh, I didn't lock them."

Castle opened them easily and they walked to the elevator. As they walked, Kate wondered how Castle would look, handcuffed to her bed.