64. Chapter 64

Kate stretches in the beach chair that Castle bought when he was with the kids in town; much better this way. She props the ipad on her knees and glances over at him, digging in the sand with Dashiell, the two heads close as they work. Rick has sand on one cheek, down the back of his arm; he uses a bucket to shape towers for their son while Dash makes explosion noises and drops his green army men into the holes they've made.

Rafe and Allie have taken a long stroll on the beach, still not back yet, and Ellery is only a few feet away, squatting at the edge of the water line, playing with shells in some complicated and intricate way. The little girl has shoved away her older brother more than once, trying to keep him out of her game; Kate can't help but be amused at the intensity of her expression and the seriousness of her play.

Biting her lip, Kate notices the pink flush along her daughter's little leg, leans forward and pushes her sunglasses up. Just a blush, but-

She flips the cover over the tablet and slides it into the beach bag, then grabs the plastic bag of sunblock, fishes out the BullFrog - which smells horrendous but stays on so well they have a hard time washing it off in the bath. "Ellery," she calls, getting to her feet.

Her daughter turns and gives her a mean look, clearly ticked at being interrupted. Kate grins and heads towards her, popping open the sunblock, dropping down to sit beside the girl, brushing sand off her daughter's forehead with a gentle swipe.

"You're getting pink, cricket."

Ellery glances down at her swimsuit, then lifts a look to her mother, eyebrow raised. So inclined to assume everyone else is wrong, and not herself. So like Kate. A little frightening, that innate self-assurance.

"Come here," Kate murmurs on a laugh, shaking her head. "Look."

Ella lets her mother take her into her lap, watches Kate's fingers as she rotates Ellery's leg and shows her the pink at her calf. "Why pink Mommy?"

"The sun. We need to put some more sunblock on; I think it's gotten rubbed off in the sand. Or the water."

"It's sticky," Ella says, making a face.

"It is. To keep the sun from getting you." Kate squeezes the yellowy-white cream out onto her hand and slathers Ellery before she can decide against cooperating. The girl sits still, enduring, until Kate's managed to get both legs covered and her little neck as well. Then she squirms away.

"No, no, Mommy."

"Let me get your face," Kate says, catching her by the arm. "Just a little bit more."

Ellery jerks her head away, but Kate wraps her arm around her daughter, pulls Ella against her chest to hold her still.

"If you fight me, it'll end up in your eyes," she warns.

Ella growls but stops struggling; Kate rubs a little bit into her cheeks, smears it along her forehead, goes for her ears again. Ellery sighs and opens her eyes, looking up at her mother.

"No like it."

"Use your big girl words, not your baby words."

"I use words I want."

Was that defiance? Kate raises an eyebrow at her; Ellery's little jaw is set, intent and a little bit, just faintly, nervous. About Kate's reaction.

Hm.

Kate slides her fingers around Ellery's belly, then ruthlessly tickles her, curling around her little body to keep her in place, trapped, laughing as Ella squeaks and giggles and squirms against the assault.

"Use the words you want, huh?" Kate teases, digging her fingers into Ella's knees now, squeezing, making the girl shriek with laughter, her back arching to get away, helpless with breathlessness.

"Mommy - Mommy!"

"You asked for it, Ellery Kate."

Ella gasps and her eyes open as Kate's fingers still, her little arms reach up and curl around Kate's neck, her fingers clutching her mother's hair, their faces close and foreheads touching. She lays in Kate's lap, sucking in her breath and still giving little laughs, those blue eyes so deep and clear and beautiful as they regard her.

Kate kisses her nose, tastes sunscreen on her lips and wipes her mouth with a smile as she pulls away.

"Hey, baby girl."

"Hey, Mommy. No more tickles."

"No more." Kate gives her a chance to calm down, then gets her back up, standing her on her feet in the sand. "Whatchya playing?"

"My shells."

"Oh?" Kate watches Ella turn back to her game; the girl picks up a grey and black piece of shell, hands it to Kate with a solemn look.

"This one."

"This one?" Kate takes it from her, cradling it in her palm, this little thing her daughter finds such meaning in.

"It's dark."

"Oh." She fingers it and watches Ellery's face. "It's dark." Oh-kay.

Ella seems to understand her mother's confusion because she gets on her knees and cups her hands around Kate's palm, peering down at the shell in the cave made by her fingers. Kate glances up to see if Castle is watching - maybe he'll have some insight - but he's not; she looks back at her daughter, wondering what she's doing.

Ella looks back up with a little, tight grin, sly and knowing. "It's dark in there."

Kate grins back, biting her bottom lip. "I see. It is dark. What else do you have?"

Ellery takes the shell back, carefully lines it up in its place, then picks up a curving white piece, riddled with tiny holes. She hands it to her mother with a beaming smile. "It's got stars."

"Stars."

Ellery picks it up off her mother's hand and uses two fingers to hold it up against the sun, squinting, one eye closing, then the other, back and forth. Kate puzzles for a moment, then realizes Ella is looking at the light coming in through the holes in the shell.

"Oh, I get it." Kate grins and takes the shell from her, then does the same, looking at the bright spots that come through the shell.

Ella takes it back and puts it in the row, then hands Kate another one. "Mommy's."

"Oh? This one is mine?"

She nods, something like hesitance flushing over her face, settling in her eyes. Kate takes the shell tenderly and leans in, kissing Ella's little cheek for that cautiously adoring look. She wonders, for just a moment, if she looked at her own mother this way. Hopes so, fervently, because seeing that look on Ella's face is amazing.

"Tell me about it."

The shell Ella has handed her is a mollusk half-shell with a ridged and curving flare, a rounded hollow like a shallow bowl. The shell is mostly black with swirls of brown that are nearly golden.

"It's pretty," Ella says suddenly, reaching out to the shell and smoothing her finger over the ridges, following the lines. "Like you, Mommy."

Kate leans in, cupping Ella's neck, kisses her quickly on the lips with a little laugh. "My beautiful girl. Thank you."

Ella looks so pleased, her face shining with pride, and she leans in to Kate, wrapping her arms around her mother's neck. Her wet kiss lands on Kate's mouth, fierce and childlike, then she pulls back, grinning widely.

"Love you, Mommy."

"Love you too, cricket." Kate takes her back for a tight hug, rubbing her briskly, wet hair and sandy swimsuit, then puts her away. "Want some help looking for seashells? We can walk down the beach together."

"Yes!" Ella throws up both hands, beaming, then turns back to look at her shells. "Oh."

"We'll put those in my bag, Ella. So nothing happens to them."

"Oh yes," Ella says, turning hopeful eyes back to her.

"Come on, gather them all up and we'll put them away, safe."

Kate leans over and helps Ellery collect her shells, watching the girl's face as her daughter handles them reverently. Kate can't remember ever being like this as a girl, treasuring something so much, but it reminds her of how Ella will sneak off with their possessions, squirrel them away in hiding places all over the loft.

And these are things not necessarily with value or shine, but things with meaning. All these collections. There must be reasons behind them all - the phone charger, Kate's wedding ring, one of Dash's baseball cards - these various things she's been caught with over the past few years.

Kate holds open the beach bag, unzips the inside pocket to take out her phone, dump it back into the main compartment. "Put them in here and we'll zip it up."

Ellery pours her treasures down into the little pocket; Kate zips it closed.

"All right. Go ask Daddy if we can borrow a bucket to put our treasures in, everything we find."

Ella bounces up and runs to her father, putting a little hand on his shoulder to get his attention. Kate watches as Castle turns immediately, his whole being shifting focus from the thing he and Dashiell are creating in the sand back to his little girl.

Ellery has never taken more than one or two things of Castle's, in all this time. Usually things that cause Kate to come looking for them - like the keys she needed. She can't remember a single thing that Castle absolutely had to have, even though Ellery has done that to Kate many times - her phone, her badge, a note.

But maybe she's seeing why, right now. Because Castle knows how to make Ellery the center of his world - just as he does for Kate, for Dash, for Alexis. His passion and loyalty and intensity of focus come to bear on them and there's no room for doubt or anxiety, no need to wonder.

No need to act out for his attention; she'll always have it.

Kate sighs, drags wisps of hair out of her eyes as a breeze dances over the beach. Ellery comes back to her with a bucket, holding it up for her inspection.

"Very good, cricket."

Dashiell has always made himself known; he's often as direct and up front about his needs as Castle is. No mistaking what he wants. Ellery is different; Ella is reserved and quiet and watchful. Her needs are more complicated than Kate expected, require more digging, more focus.

She'll just have to start paying better attention. Starting now.

Kate reaches down for her daughter's hand, squeezes the little fingers. "Let's go look for seashells, Ella."

"Oh, yes, Mommy."