Changing

Ivy yawns. The twins have been so energetic the past few weeks that between her new title at the hospital, the board, the...grief, she is tired. But of course, her and Jackson have recently started trying for another baby. Two years difference is a good gap to them. Them trying is part of the reason that Ivy is exhausted, but she wouldn't change a thing about her life.

Except. Maybe. Having her brother back.

○○○○New Years Day

Leaning back in her chair, Ivy sighs. Her phone is blowing up with all of the messages from Luke, asking if she's heard anything about April.

Jackson smiles from the doorway, "Yoi going to answer that?"

"No. It's Luke and I have nothing for him. I can't sit here all day and talk to him. And I know he needs someone but I can't be that someone he talks to. Especially since I'm worried about April. I need to figure out this paperwork and then I need to check on Amy because she's holding back more than I am and I'm worried about her. And I-" Ivy is cutoff by Jackson kissing her.

"Hey, hey. Slow down. Everything will still be here after you take a break. Your burning the candle at both ends and the middle. I know youre super woman, but even you need a break. Take a little walk. Just...take a walk," Jackson suggests, lightly pushing her out the door.

Ivy smiles, "Fine. I'll take a walk."

As she's on her walk, she hears yelling. It sounds like Amelia, so she runs towards it to hear, "-or is ripped from your world without warning, without reason, in convenience stores and plane crashes and podunk hospitals with podunk doctors who don't do what they are supposed to do, which is save people!"

"Amy," Ivy gets her attention, "Take a break."

She then notices Owen. Amelia does to before walking off. Ivy sees all the people looking at her sister. Her voice hard, she speaks up, "Get back to work. Now! You have patients or paperwork to do. Go!"

They scatter, leaving only Webber and Owen to watch Ivy, "We Shepherds know how to handle grief. Its almost in our DNAs. I'll talk to Amy, just..."

"Ivy-" Owen starts.

"No, Owen. I've got to go talk to her. Welcome home," Ivy stops him.

She finds Amelia walking away as fast as she can, "Amy. Amy! Amelia Francis Shepherd! You may not need to talk to me, but I need my sister."

Amelia stops and turns to her, dragging her into an on-call room, "Okay. If you need me, I'm here."

Ivy shakes her head, "I need my sister to feel. I need you to show me that it is okay to fall apart because my prior role model is dead. He's dead and I don't know what to do, so I need my big sister to help me. Please, Amy, I need you," Ivy breaks down, crying into her sisters chest.

"I'm here. Okay, I'm here. Let it out. You need to let it out," Amelia hugs her, falling to the ground with her.

"Derek's dead. My dad is dead. The dad I knew is dead and I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do," Ivy sobs.

○○○○

Ivy sits at home, by herself, looking over paperwork as Jackson took the kids to give Ivy some time to herself. While looking over the hospitals budget, she gets a phone call, "Dr. Ivy Shepherd-Avery."

"Hello, Dr. Shepherd-Avery, you are the emergency contact for Dr. Meredith Grey, correct?" A woman asks.

She immediately focuses on the call, "Yes, I am. Is she okay? What happened?"

"You need to come to L.A. Dr. Grey just got out of surgery and the social worker needs to talk to you about the kids," the nurse than goes into more detail about where they are.

As Ivy is packing a bag to go to L.A., Jackson walks in, "Hey- Ivy? Whats going on? Where are you going?"

She can see his fear. He thinks she's leaving her. Ivy walks over to him and kisses him, "A hospital in L.A. called. Meredith just gave birth and got out of surgery. I'm her emergency contact and the kids are alone. They need me. I'll go get them and bring all of the back. It won't take more than a couple of day, I promise. I'll be back."

"Oh, of course. I've got the kids, and I'll tell Owen to take over your service until you get back. Go. Bring them home," Jackson tells her.

○○○○

A nurse wakes Meredith up, "Dr. Grey? Dr. Grey? Your sister is here."

Ivy walks forward, "Hey. Apparently, I'm your emergency contact."

Meredith just smiles at her, "I had a baby."

"I know."

"Derek is dead," Meredith reminds her.

"I'm well aware," Ivy sniffles.

She sits next to Meredith's bed as she smiles at her, "Baby's name is Ellis. Ellis Ivy. Did you see her?"

Ivy gives a small smile, "Shes beautiful. Looks just like you."

Meredith tells her, "I didn't think I could do it. Part of me thought, what if I have this baby and just die? And then she arrived, and I saw her face, and I saw him in her. She's beautiful."

She nods, "Yeah. She is."

Ivy feels bad. She should be more supportive of Meredith right now. She just had a baby, her husband died. But this was also the woman who didn't call her so she could say goodbye to her brother. To her dad. She couldn't just let that go.

○○○○Valentines Day

Giggling, Ivy accepts the bouquet of roses that Jacksom hands her, "Thank you, baby."

He kisses her, "Oh, you're welcome. But this is just the beginning. Alexus, Christopher! Come give your mom the presents you got her."

"What presents?" Ivy looks at her husband, confused.

The twins come running in. In their little hands, is what looks to be a couple of homemade cards. Ivy aws at the cutest that is her children. Christopher is wearing a suit to match his dads, as the family was about to go to dinner. Alexus was wearing a cute little red dress with bow in her hair.

"Why thank you, my babies. Oh, did you two make these?" They nod, "All by yourselves?"

"Well, daddy helped a little," Alexus admits, always the daddy's girl.

"These are the best presents I could ever ask for. How about they go right...here," Ivy uses a magnet and places the cards on the fridge.

She's surprised the fridge can fit anymore papers as it is already covered in drawings and poems and all pieces of art that the twins have made for her and Jackson.

There's nothing she would change.

○○○○

Ivy steps into the observation deck over looking Meredith's first surgery back. She freezes when she sees Meredith's scrub cap. Ferry boats. It's Derek's.

And Ivy feels the sadness creep back in. Coating her body as she walks straight out of that observation deck.

There's a lot she wouldn't change, but there is one.

She needs Derek back.

○○○○

AN: it's a short little one because this episode was mainly focused on Meredith but I fitted the Averys in enough.

I'm expecting another part to be out in the next few hours as well as a update.

QoC: how much longer do you think Ivy can hold stuff in?

Thank you for all of the reads and votes and comments!