232. Chapter 232

Talk to her, Al.

She’d spent the night weeping in Maggie’s arms, spent the night alternating between gasping sobbed explanations of all that had happened throughout the day and allowing herself to be soothed by the strong arms and soft kisses of her girlfriend.

Maggie had said close to nothing for most of the night. Close to nothing beyond affirmations and reassurances and everything, everything, everything, that she knew, somehow, that Alex needed to hear.

But it was morning, now, and Alex’s eyes were still swollen, but they were dry, and she was slipping into DEO-mode, and she could handle a gentle nudge.

So once they both got to work, Maggie texted her two things. The first read You are amazing, Alex. Thank you for letting me be here for you. and the second, twenty minutes later, was Talk to her, Al.

How did you know I’m scared to talk to her?

I’m a detective, Agent Danvers.

The response made Alex smile helplessly.

You detect, do you?

That’s right, Danvers. Now go talk to your sister.

She does.

She finds her standing with James, his arm around her shoulder, no doubt as she tells him about yesterday, about Jeremiah and, probably, about Alex.

“Kara.”

Her little sister freezes with her back toward her, and James looks over Kara’s shoulder at Alex with deep sadness in his eyes. She tries to convey how sorry she is with the expression on her face, and maybe it works, or maybe James just understands how hard yesterday was – how hard today is going to be – for both Danvers girls, because he gives her a small, reassuring smile back.

“Yeah,” Kara says without turning around, and she knows she’s drying her tears. Her heart breaks, because these two don’t hide tears from each other.

“I’ll let you two talk,” James says softly as he squeezes Kara’s shoulders gently and steps away, touching Alex’s arm with a reassuring hand as he does.

“What do you want, Alex?” Kara asks without turning around, and Alex’s heart shreds. They’d worked together so well last night, so flawlessly. She’d hoped that meant they’d forgiven each other. That Kara had forgiven Alex.

She apparently was wrong.

Again.

“Kara, please.” She watches Kara sigh and turn around, arms folded across her chest, and it looks like she spent as much of the night crying as Alex did.

“Kara, I’m sorry. I… the things I said to you, they were… they were inexcusable. I failed as an agent yesterday, but more importantly, I… I failed as a sister.”

“So I’m back to being your sister now,” Kara observes, but her voice is more pained than cutting.

Alex steps forward and nods to herself. “I deserve that.” She forces herself to look into stormy blue eyes, blue eyes that have saved her life on more than one occasion; blue eyes that have been her home for so many years.

“Kara, you will always be my sister. You will always be my family. I don’t know what… I just wanted so badly for you to be wrong, I wanted – “

Her voice cracks and her face twists up, and she’s reminded forcibly of the dreadful day she told Kara that she, not J’onn, killed Astra.

“I’m sorry,” she squeaks, and Kara doesn’t hesitate. She takes her big sister into her arms and she rocks her, rocks her, rocks her.

“You just wanted him back,” she whispers as Alex grabs at her collared shirt, hard, messy, desperate.

“You just wanted him back, and I should’ve… I should have come to you, not Mon-El, not Winn, I just… I was trying to protect you, Alex, I…”

“I know you were, I – “

“You’re not alone in this, Alex. I know you felt alone yesterday. Like you were the only one on his side. But J’onn was fooled, too, and it… you are never alone, Alex. Never. I promise you.”

Alex pulls back and stares at Kara with streaming eyes.

“You’ve been feeling alone for a long time now, too.”

Kara freezes and tries to shake it off, but Alex knows her better.

She pokes the space between Kara’s eyebrows with a shaky finger.

“Crinkle,” she explains, and Kara huffs.

“James and Winn were wrong, Kara. They were wrong to lie to you, and I was wrong to let them. I encouraged them to tell you, sure, but it – you – we all failed you. And I wasn’t understanding with Livewire, and no one believed you about Lena, and I…I know you’ve been feeling alone, too. But you’re not, Kara. Ever. I will always be your big sister, and you will always be my person. You don’t have to be in a relationship with someone who constantly disrespects you to feel close to something, to feel needed, to feel close to all that you’ve lost. You have your family, Kara. You have me. Always.”

Kara’s lips are trembling and her body is starting to shake, and Alex just nods – like Maggie does whenever Alex is silently realizing something – and she pulls her back to her, pulls her close.

“I love you, Kara. You and me are always, always family. Alright?”

“Stronger together,” Kara chokes out as she grabs at the back of Alex’s uniform.

“Stronger together,” Alex whispers, because they are.