330. Chapter 330
“Hey, hey, I can walk. Or fly. Should I fly?” Kara’s sleepy words are stumbling almost as much as her feet, and Alex and Maggie both smirk softly.
“Nah, Kid Danvers, best save the flying for later, huh? When you’re a little less – ”
“Groggy,” Alex supplies, and presses a kiss to Kara’s forehead as she and Maggie work to lay Kara down squarely in the center of Maggie’s bed.
They tuck her in from either side, and Kara whines when they start to retreat back into the living room space of the studio.
“Noooo, Alex, you just got home, don’t go! Maggie’s comfy, tiny, so tiny, but she’s comfy, and you’re comfy, and – ”
“Shhh, Kara, I’m gonna eat something, and then I’ll come right to bed, okay?”
“Maggie too?”
“Yeah, Little Danvers, I’ll come too.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Satisfied, Kara grins sleepily and settles down into the pillows, her breathing starting to even out again.
“She’s been crying,” Alex whispers to Maggie, and Maggie nods as she pours water for Alex and gestures her toward the two slices of pizza they’d left for her.
Alex digs right into it cold, a habit she’d picked up from Maggie; and normally, Maggie would made a snarky comment, but tonight? Tonight, she lets it go with a soft, affectionate smile and a passionate kiss to Alex’s cheek.
“Mmmm,” Alex hums, leaning into Maggie as she chews, and as soon as she swallows she turns her face to put her lips on Maggie’s, and Maggie sighs and sinks into the kiss, and her lips part and Alex wants to take her right here, right now, but Kara, Kara, Kara.
She pulls back and both of their bodies keen at the loss.
“She’s okay, Alex. She just… like I said, she just has some stuff she wants to talk to you about.”
Alex chugs water and pizza and more water and more pizza.
“Okay but what stuff? Is she alright? Did someone hurt her? Why didn’t she come to me? What – ”
“Whoa whoa, okay, Danvers, listen to me. Eat your pizza and come to bed. Okay? I’ll go out in the morning to get you both breakfast, and Kara will talk to you then. She’s fine. I promise. And if you’re not fine when she tells you what she has to tell you, that’s okay. I’ll be here. And so will she. Okay? Nothing’s wrong.”
With anyone else, Alex would fight. With anyone else, Alex would resist and insist and push harder, harder. But with Maggie? Alex stares at Kara’s sleeping form – she’s safe, she’s safe, Maggie’s been taking good care of her, she’s safe – and sighs, and chews, and swallows, and nods.
“Let me brush my teeth. And then you’re going to find out what it’s like to share a bed with a little sister who fidgets in her sleep. And has Kryptonian strength.”
“Well, her sister’s pretty damn strong, and I can handle her in bed just fine,” Maggie lowers her voice an octave or two, and Alex nearly swoons.
“Maggie! Kara’s right there!”
“She’s sleeping – ” Maggie tickles her.
“Maggie!” Alex shrieks a soft laugh and tickles her right back.
“No funny business with Kara around, even when she’s in dream land. Yes ma’am. Come to bed, Danvers.”
And she does, and she stays awake long after Maggie settles on the other side of Kara, long after Maggie’s breathing evens out, long after the soft circles Maggie’s tracing on Alex’s arm – both of their arms thrown over Kara’s stomach – slow and stop because Maggie’s fallen asleep.
She stays awake, and she relishes the heat of her little sister next to her, the way that Kara, even in sleep, feels safe enough to snuggle with both her and Maggie.
She stays awake, and she wonders what Kara could possibly have told Maggie before telling Alex.
She doesn’t remember falling asleep, but she’s woken up by a soft kiss on her lips.
“Morning, beautiful,” Maggie greets, and Alex smiles groggily and reaches for Maggie’s cheek.
“Hey,” she croaks, and Maggie’s smile deepens.
“Hey there. Listen, your sister’s in the bathroom, and I’m gonna hit the gym with James and then bring you both back breakfast. Okay?”
“Mmmhmmm.”
She’s still yawning and stretching when Maggie kisses her one more time – two more times, three more times – and slips out of the apartment.
She jumps when Kara speaks, not having noticed her slipping out of the bathroom. She’s wearing one of Maggie’s college hoodies, and Alex’s heart warms.
“You really love her, don’t you?” Kara asks, and Alex rubs her eyes and sits up.
“What makes you say that?”
“You’re usually out of bed like a shot. But you trust her. She makes you feel safe.”
Kara plops on the bed in front of Alex as her older sister sits up, nodding.
“She makes you feel safe too, apparently. What was so scary you couldn’t come to me first, Kara? I mean, not that I mind you going to Maggie. I like it, I like that you trust her, love it, but I… Kara, what is it?”
Alex might be more relaxed in the morning, being with Maggie, but she certainly hasn’t lost any of her directness. Kara sighs and adjusts her glasses before staring at her sister and taking them off completely.
Alex’s stomach twists. That means they’re in for a really intense conversation. She puts her hands on her sister’s, careful not to interfere with the way her fingers fidget with themselves, with Maggie’s sweatshirt, with the comforter.
“Kara, I love you. Whatever it is, you can – ”
“I like girls. Women. I like men, too. I’m bisexual, Alex. Or, pan. I – I don’t know. I’m not sure what word feels right yet. Maggie says it’s okay that I don’t know yet. She says I don’t have to be sure. But the thing I am sure of is… is that I like girls, too. Not just guys.”
She looks more terrified than she did when facing off with Reactron, and Alex blinks once. Blinks twice. Blinks again.
“So, you’re queer.”
She stands and she paces and her brow stays furrowed and Kara’s lip trembles.
“I’m sorry, Alex – ”
“Sorry?” Alex drops to her knees and gathers Kara’s hands back into her own and smooths the hair out of her face and shakes her head. “Sorry? Kara, why would you apologize?”
“I knew you’d be angry – ”
“Angry? Kara, no, I’m not angry! I’m just… I’m just trying to figure out why you’d tell my girlfriend before you’d tell me. And like I said, I love that you’re comfortable with Maggie, I really do, I just don’t understand – ”
“Because you just came out, Alex! You just came out, and you’re just figuring yourself out, and the whole reason you didn’t figure yourself out earlier was me and how selfish I was and now I’m doing it again, I’m taking up that space from you again, and I don’t want to, I don’t want to take anything away from you, I just like her so much and I can’t keep it to myself anymore, but I don’t want to take space from you, not again – ”
“Kara. Kara. Kara. Stop. Stop it. Please, Kara, listen to me. You… you didn’t… Eliza gave me responsibility over you, you didn’t ask for it. You’d just lost your entire planet, Kara, you didn’t ask for me to… to give up my whole life for you. You just wanted a family, and that’s… that’s what you are, Kara, and nothing – nothing, you understand me? – is ever going to change that. You’re not taking anything away from me, Kara. You can be bi, or pan, or queer, or whatever label you like, but you are my sister before you are anything else, Kara. And you deserve to figure yourself out with me at your side, not with… with tears on my girlfriend’s shoulder in the middle of the night when I’m not home. Okay? It’s okay, I just… I want what we’ve always wanted – to share our lives. And if that’s queer lives, all the better. Kara, I love you, always, I – wait. Wait, Kara, did you say – who do you like so much? Who’s her?”
Kara’s wet, smiling eyes suddenly go wide, and Alex’s hand that had been so busy stroking Kara’s hair, wiping her tears, stills.
“Kara.”
“Yeah, this um… this is the other part I was scared you wouldn’t like.”
“Kara. It isn’t Livewire?”
Kara busts out a laugh that nearly causes Alex to overbalance. “What? No! No, it’s not – it’s Lena, Alex. Lena Luthor.”
Alex is quiet.
Alex is quiet for a long, long moment, and she bites the inside of her cheek, and Kara tries desperately to keep breathing.
“Well, she definitely likes you back. And you, Kara, not just Supergirl. So, you know, when Maggie gets back, we can strategize. If you want.”
“Strategize?” Kara’s voice is small, strained, because Alex says Lena likes her back, Alex says Lena likes her back, Alex isn’t mad, Alex isn’t mad, Alex loves her always, always, always.
“Well, come on, Kara. You have about as much game outside of that suit as… as Winn has.”
Kara reaches to adjust her glasses and fumbles when she remembers that they’re not on her face. Alex arches an eyebrow and leans back, her case in point.
“It – I – that’… I – I have plenty of game – ”
“As Supergirl, maybe. We’ve gotta figure out a way to channel that SuperSuave into Kara Danvers.”
“I… you love me, Alex?”
“Always, Kara. Always.”