683. Chapter 683

He doesn’t realize they’re together at first.

Because at first, he’s too distracted by the way his wife is flirting with this hot new detective, comparing notes on glocks and the best defensive moves against much bigger combatants.

Distracted, of course, not displeased.

Because the way this woman – Detective Sawyer, she’d introduced herself with a grin and an extra firm handshake – was making Iris laugh, and Iris’s laughter is always his priority.

But when Kara’s big sister comes up behind Detective Sawyer, slipping her arms around her waist and kissing her with parted lips – kissing her with tongue – as she holds her from behind and Iris beams at the happy couple, Barry’s eyes fly wide open, because now he finally understands.

This detective must be the detective. The one that Kara’s big sister just proposed to.

He runs his hand through his hair and steps back into the conversation.

“Wait, I’m so sorry, I didn’t put it together before – it’s you!”

Maggie turns from Alex while staying in her arms, and cocks an eyebrow at Barry.

“Me?”

Iris laughs and kisses Barry’s cheek. “Honey, what are you talking about?”

“You’re the woman Alex is marrying! I didn’t put it together before, because when you introduced yourself Alex was in the other room, and I – oh, but I see it now!” He bounces on the balls of his feet in excitement.

“What gave it away, Allen? The making out or the massive engagement rings?”

Iris laughs as Maggie rolls her eyes at Alex’s snarkiness, while Barry opens and closes his mouth rapidly.

“My husband isn’t the most observant superhero ever to prowl the streets,” Iris pats his arm sympathetically. Barry is about to protest, but Cisco’s shout from across the room shushes him.

“The wife is always right, Bar!” He air-fives Iris, as Barry nods in genuine agreement.

“And you two are gonna be wives soon!” he enthuses, pointing between a very bemused Maggie and Alex.

“Oh, hell no,” a voice sounds from behind the group, and Barry turns on his heel to see Lucy Lane, leaning in the doorway with a lopsided smirk and sunglasses resting up on her head.

“Hell… no?” Barry gulps, because he’s met Major Lane before, and Iris, Caitlin, and Felicity all swear that she’s the sweetest, more generous, kindest person; but he makes his palms sweat every time.

Probably something about his history with literally every army officer he’s every met, aside from Dig and (sometimes) Lyla.

“I get to be the biggest cheerleader for these nerds,” Lucy smirks as she steps into the room, hugging Iris, kissing Alex’s cheek, and running through an absurdly complex handshake with Maggie. “You don’t get to be in the running, Allen.”

He straightens up at that, and Iris rolls her eyes preemptively, because she knows the love of her life all too well.

“Well, if it’s running we’re talking about, I think I’d do pretty well – “

“You just figured out right now that they’re even together, Allen. I’ve known from the first phone call Danvers gave me about meeting Mags. I’ve known from before Danvers knew she was a massive lesbian.” She turns to Alex with raised eyebrows.

“Still don’t know how I flirted so hard with you all that time and you still didn’t know, Alex,” Lucy grins, and Alex blushes as Maggie and Iris awwww and kiss her cheek sympathetically.

Barry crosses his arms across his chest, playfully gearing up for a fight with Lucy. “A second for a speedster is like months for a regular person,” he sets his shoulders, but it only makes Lucy snort.

“Which means it took you that much longer to put two and two together, Flash,” Lucy grins, and Cisco tosses his head back from the couch where he’s sitting with Felicity and Caitlin.

“Quit while you’re only slightly behind, Barry!” he grins as Felicity and Caitlin laugh.

“Why do we all get together like this?” Barry murmurs. “You all just always gang up on me!”

“Aww, babe, it’s just because you’re so easy and so adorable,” Iris comforts him teasingly, and he accepts it gladly.

“See? I’m adorable,” Barry nods sternly at Lucy, like that has anything to do with absolutely anything they’re talking about.

“Sure, Allen. Sure,” Lucy shakes her head and laughs as all of them awwww helplessly at Alex melting into Maggie’s arms.

Because really, they all ship it pretty damn hard.