684. Chapter 684

“I don’t have a fear of commitment, Luce,” Alex tosses a fistful of their popcorn across the couch, making Lucy groan and Kara lunge for the fallen morsels. “Just because sleeping with you didn’t make me want to woo and marry you – “

“Whoa, little sister present!” Kara tosses up her hands while Lucy smirks and rolls her eyes at Alex, reaching over and running her fingers through their hair.

“I’m not saying it’s got anything to do with me, Danvers – please, I know I’m worth sticking around for – I’m just saying. You’ve… got a bit of a phobia.”

Alex rolls their eyes and glances toward Kara, expecting her to chime in and defend them.

She doesn’t.

“Kar?” they prompt.

“I mean… you know I love you, sib, but… Lucy kinda has a point.”

Alex huffs and they grumble and they steal the popcorn bowl away from Lucy and refuse to give it back.

But what they don’t do, is deny it.

Because the more they think about it, the more they know their sister and their best friend are right.

They are a bit of a commitment-phobe.

Okay, maybe a lot of one.

Because there were a lot of women in college, and a lot of women afterward. Some great, some not. But even the great ones never made them want to stay.

Hell, the great ones were the ones Alex ran from fastest and farthest.

Sam Arias, Lucy Lane. Sara Lance.

They were amazed, sometimes, that these women were still their friend.

Because the sweeter they were – the healthier a relationship could have been – the harder Alex pushed it away.

And then they meet Maggie Sawyer.

And Maggie Sawyer never once stumbles on their pronouns, and she is goddamn brilliant at her job.

She’s got this lopsided smirk that makes Alex lose their concentration at work – which never, ever happens – and she’s got this incredible calm about her even during the most terrifying situations in the field, and it turns Alex on far beyond what is responsible.

And when they finally fall into bed together – Alex thinks of it as ‘finally,’ but really, it only takes a few days of working the same case – Maggie doesn’t scream when Alex makes her come.

Which is a very new experience for them.

They’re used to making women scream in all the most delightful ways.

But Maggie comes quietly, even as she leaves marks on Alex’s back that they both know will last for days.

She comes quietly, but she kisses them soft and sweet and almost tender.

She doesn’t perform her pleasure for them, but there’s something in her eyes that tells Alex that she wants to go out again. Soon.

Like, on a date.

Not just to fuck.

Alex isn’t there when Maggie wakes up in the morning.

“You really like her, huh?” Winn nudges their shoulder as they read over the morning reports in the command center, and Alex fixes him with a look that nearly makes his insides shrivel.

“I saw you two leave the bar together last night. And you’re here even earlier than you usually are.”

Alex stares at him for a moment longer before shrugging and going back to their report. “Maybe that means she was terrible in bed. Or that we fought and didn’t actually wind up going home together or something. My entire life isn’t about sex, Schott.”

Winn holds up his hands defensively. “I know, Al, I do. Your entire life is about your job and about protecting your sister and your friends. Which makes sex a lot less scary than letting yourself fall in love. Or even committing to someone long enough to be able to.”

Alex blinks.

“Didn’t J’onn hire you to work tech? No one told me anything about you being our new psychologist.”

Winn sighs, and Alex softens. “Sorry, Winn. I’m sorry. I…” They sigh and sit and Winn sits next to them, waiting for his sibling to let themself actually talk to him.

“You’re right. I do. I like her. I mean, I barely know her, right? But she…” Alex closes her eyes and shakes their head, running a hand through their hair and finding that they’re trembling slightly just at the memories of last night. “She’s smart and she’s tough and she’s beautiful. She’s so beautiful.”

Winn smiles and puts a hand on Alex’s knee. To both of their surprise, Alex covers his hand with their own and links their fingers together.

“She seems like a good egg, Al.”

“But what if she… what if I…”

“You’ll have us. We’ll get you through it. Me and Kara and James. Okay? I promise.”

Alex squeezes his hand before groaning.

“You left her without leaving a note or anything, didn’t you?” Winn asks, and Alex nods with another groan.

“Text her,” Winn nudges their phone at them. “Text her. I can help you figure out what to say, if you want.”

Alex thinks about teasing him that they’d never take advice about women with him, but he’s been a bit sensitive about that kind of thing since he came out as bi, so they just nod and thank him.

And, it turns out, he’s not too bad at it.

Because that night, they have another date with Maggie.

An actual date.

And Winn comes over – with James and Kara – to help them get ready. To help make sure they don’t run.

To help make sure they don’t panic.

“One date at a time,” Kara whispers soothingly as she kisses their cheek before they leave.

Alex nods nervously, leaning up on their tip toes to wrap James in a massive bear hug before heading out the door. “Thanks, bro,” they whisper, because he’d coordinated their entire outfit.

“Any time, sib,” he kisses their cheek, and they smile as they catch the way Winn is beaming at his boyfriend.

Maybe this commitment thing won’t be so bad after all. One date at a time, anyway.

They try to focus more on Maggie than on the swirling pit in their stomach.

Because they figure that Maggie is definitely worth the risk.